"Pick me up", is the message of a person who keeps falling.

Milan Kundera

FALLEN

In his patrol car, his folded arms leaning on the wheel and his forehead resting on his arms, Enos focused on the rain's drumming against the windscreen, any other thought pushed out of his head in a continuous and strenuous fight.

"I can't think always 'bout it, I can't think always 'bout it", it was his mantra, "This is the REAL world and I have to live in THIS world", but, no matter how much he tried, his mind kept on falling into that enchanted world, where his mother was sweet and… normal (but what's the sense of bein' normal in a world where normality was oddity? What's normality?), and where there was Miss Kate, the guardian of his inner soul.

He took a deep breath, the fight in his mind becoming more and more ravaging, his last and desperate move bein' to erase EVERYTHING in his mind, real and unreal, everything.

It was evening, a fall's rainy evening, and the sky was so cloudy it seemed already night. The drops on the windscreen and on the car's windows reflected inside the car as transparent worms moving everywhere.

"This is the REAL world and I have to live in THIS world". This world, Dukes' world, and they were waiting for him at the farm; he switched on the ignition.

Daisy looked outside the kitchen's window, the dinner's scent filling the room.

One month. One month spent barely seeing Enos, every day of the his week spent working hard to have only one day off during the weekend, and using it to visit his mother at the Institute (he usually left Hazzard in the morning to come back the morning after). In that month summer turned into fall, and, that evening, it was the first time Enos accepted to come for dinner to the farm.

Where was the man she knew after their nearly wedding? A sweet and always smiling man, a man asking her out, a man having long walks with her, hand in hand, a man moving 'round her without his famous shyness (but, anyway, bein' always a gentleman and never touching her besides their walking hand in hand), still a bit shy, but no more shy to the point of running away from her. He was gone, totally gone after Rose Strate's arrival in Hazzard, turning into a totally shy and offish man, always scared to say or to do something wrong; his nervous fidgeting, his easy blushing and his looking down at his feet as he talked were again his marks, like so many times in the past.

"Is he not here, yet? I'm hungry"

Daisy looked at Luke entering the kitchen.

"He's coming, don't worry. And please", Daisy turned to her older cousin, "Luke, please, during the dinner, don't talk 'bout his mother nor 'bout the Institute. Don't ask him anything, I know pretty well he doesn't want to talk 'bout it"

"I too know it, Daisy, I'm not so insensitive. And, besides, I care for Enos… as you, and as uncle Jesse and Bo".

Daisy caught his offended tone, "You're right, I'm sorry, Luke, I didn't mean you're insensitive. It's that… I'm only worried", she turned again to the window, her eyes fixed on the street, "and, anyway, I guess I care for him MORE than any of you"; in her mind a thought she preferred not sharing with him, nor with anyone else. It'd have been a long talk, and it wasn't the case to go back to their talking the day she decided to marry Enos, something that surprised everyone (HER too). But it wasn't the time to talk 'bout her feelings for Enos nor to force her mind into her psychology. She knew pretty well what she felt, but she didn't know exactly when it started and how or why, but her feelings were stronger and stronger since that day, not a new feeling but something inside her for a long time, now finally waking up.

She were looking outside the window without seeing anything, her eyes lost in something else, when the sound of a car stopping in front of the farm woke her up from her thoughts.

She watched him coming out the patrol car and running to the kitchen door, under the lashing rain. When he entered the kitchen, despite his staying only few seconds under the rain, his clothes were damp, a strong but sweet scent emanating from his body, a mix of soap, aftershave, shampoo and… his skin. The image of his skin as he was taking off his shirt in Doc Appleby's office exploded into Daisy's mind and she had to avert her gaze from him, her cheeks burning as she blushed, Mrs. Appleby's words resounding in her ears ("Daisy Duke, you're really lusting for Enos Strate, aren't you?"). Lusting, another thing she wondered 'bout so many times along the last month, something it wasn't the case to linger over, in that moment, bein' Enos by her side with his shirt adhering to his body as a second skin, his scent surrounding her like a steamy drug.

Bo, even if involuntary, came to help her cousin, "Hey Enos, how are you, buddy?", he walked to his older friend and he gently patted him on the cheek, "Did you come here by swimming?"

"Shucks, Bo, it's raining", Enos smiled and he took off his hat.

"If you don't want to catch a cold in a evening like that, boy, you'd take off that shirt", uncle Jesse entered the kitchen, another involuntary but useful help for Daisy, "Bo, give Enos one of your shirts, please"

"Yes sir. Enos, come on, buddy"

While Bo and Enos walked away, uncle Jesse came closer Daisy.

"Daisy, are you OK? You seem … shocked. Is something wrong?"

His scent bein' gone with him, Daisy calmed, "I'm OK, uncle Jesse, don't worry".

No, shocked wasn't the right definition of her feeling, not at all, but, obviously, it wasn't a feeling she could talk 'bout to her uncle.

They talked, sitting around the table, 'bout everything (except THAT thing).

He was at the same table with Dukes, as so many times in the past, so many happy times; he couldn't help but thank them, from the bottom of his heart, of bein' so friendly with him, avoiding THAT thing, even if he knew perfectly well they asked him to come for dinner because of it: "poor ol' sweet Enos", did they call him that way?

Was he so pitiful? Was it the reason why Daisy averted her eyes from him when he entered the farm? He noticed her looking away, on her face a mix of embarrassment and worrisome: was it pity? The same pity that brought her to ask him to marry her that day, to protect him from false charges, probably.

He put gently down his fork in the plate, his appetite totally gone.

"Enos, sugar, is something wrong? Don't you like it? You should eat something more, you're becoming thinner, is it because of your… stomach?"

Daisy immediately regretted her words 'bout his stomach (talking 'bout it meant remembering their visiting Doc Appleby, and talking 'bout their visiting Doc Appleby meant remembering his gastritis and, obviously, the reason of his gastritis): she just broke, awkwardly, her family's underlying agreement to avoid any hint to Rose Strate. She'd have slapped herself because of that stupid question.

"Maybe he's only tired because of his hard working lately, Daisy, don't force him"

Daisy casted an angry look in Bo's direction, "Oh, really perfect, Bo. And now, what's our next move? Asking him 'bout his mother and the Institute?". But, despite her angry thoughts towards Bo, she couldn't blame her younger cousin 'bout his words, she was the one to blame for that slipping into that unwilling conversation.

She noticed Enos' stiffening and his forced smile as he stood up, murmuring an excuse, and then heading to the door, coming out under that lashing rain.

When she stood up to reach him, uncle Jesse grabbed her arm, stopping her.

"It's better you stay here, Daisy. I'm goin' to talk to him. He's too embarrassed to talk to you or to Bo and Luke, especially to you, whereas, talking to me, he could put his pride aside". He stood up and he walked out, reaching Enos and stopping near him, careless of the rain soaking them.

Daisy looked at them from the kitchen's window, her uncle talking to Enos and Enos answering him, motionless under the rain, his head down. She looked at uncle Jesse slowly raising an arm and reaching Enos' nape, gently moving the deputy's head to his shoulder 'till Enos's forehead rested on it.

Daisy, Bo and Luke, all three of them now looking outside the window, stared at Enos' back trembling as he cried (was he crying?) on their uncle's shoulder.

In the farm's little guestroom, Enos looked at the ceiling.

Did he really burst out crying on uncle Jesse's shoulder? He barely remembered it; he recalled his crying like a dream, the rain hitting him and mixing with his tears, his whispering between sobs his desire to have finally his mother back, his coming back inside the farm as Daisy, Bo and Luke looked at him with sad eyes (whereas he tried to avoid their eyes), his taking off his drenched clothes in the little bathroom and his accepting to sleep at the farm, bein' too tired and confused to refuse, even if the only thing he wanted at that moment was running away.

Looking at the ceiling, he felt ashamed, totally ashamed. He buried his face against the pillow. In that world, he was a loser.

He glanced at the watch: 5 a.m.

It was his day off, the day he could fall into that enchanted world, the world of Miss Kate and of his mother's (the best version of her). He slowly stood up and he reached his now dry uniform; he dressed up and he silently came out the farm, like a thief, heading to the Boarding House to undress his uniform, wearing his civilian clothes, and to take his personal car.

How could he look again into Daisy, Bo and Luke's eyes (especially Daisy's eyes) after that embarrassing manifestation of his weakness and inferiority?