A/N - Hi again and thanks for your lovely comments and patience. This is another two-parter!
So I'm setting this post deep breath so I can write a fic with the 12th Doctor (I love him)! This fic came from a suggestion from a reader: (kmcmillen423):
"I would love for you to write a story about the Doctor taking Vastra and Jenny on an adventure and they accidentally run into past Vastra before she went into hibernation.(It would be entertaining to read about future and past Vastra's bickering, and how past Vastra reacts to her future wife.)"
Decided to take the prompt on and give it a go! Also felt like some light-hearted relief after all my angst.
Hope you enjoy, and part 2 coming soon.
It had been six months since the Doctor has last visited Paternoster Row after the incident with the dinosaur and the clockwork droids, and Vastra, Jenny, and Strax had not been short of work. Since the discovery of the droid ship beneath Mancini's Family Restaurant, Scotland Yard had launched a city-wide effort to inspect for any bizarre underground structures or activity – which the Great Detective has assisted greatly in completing (or, in Vastra's opinion, had practically completed for them). The raids had uncovered, to name a few examples: a cloning facility, a money laundering racket, and an illegal brothel with what could only be described as a voluntary torture facility, adorned with chains, shackles, and whips. The last discovery in particular had been most perturbing for Vastra, who had to resort to coaxing a very red-faced Jenny to explain the dungeon's purpose. When Jenny had finally explained (once they were in private) that the apparatus was for human sexual arousal, Vastra had found the whole incident highly amusing, much to her wife's disdain. Vastra was glad Jenny had never requested that Vastra physically beat her simply to get a hormonal rise, as that was something Vastra would never do, but the Silurian made a mental note to install some restraints in a private area of the house (she could use the pretext of "detaining human scum", perhaps). She was sure that she could put those to good use, and found that the idea of being completely at Jenny's mercy was very compelling.
Vastra had enjoyed the busy nature of the work, and she suspected her wife was happier also; Jenny seemed to be a source of constant energy, if the apes could only harness her momentum, Vastra was sure they could power their rudimentary machines for centuries. Strax had also managed to avoid destroying large sections of the house for whole months now, but Vastra was refusing to let her guard down, as all the cases were making him rather excitable. Although, she did admit that he possible could have got hold of some sweets again.
Today, however, there was a welcome stillness in the house, a lull in the workflow, and as much as Vastra loved her life of excitement – a day off was unlikely to cause any great harm. Vastra had spent a large portion of the day in solitude, peacefully reading her beloved Silurian Tome, or poring over recent scientific literature. She had allowed herself a moment to tinker in the laboratory, promising internally not to set off any major explosions and startle her wife. However, when she heard the click of the front door as Jenny went out momentarily, all restraint was lost and she risked a more daring experiment, accidentally causing a small chemical fire. Her shame only deepened when Strax began to mock her as she frantically tried to extinguish it.
"Foolish reptile!" he jeered as Vastra tried in vain to usher the smoke out of the front door, "The boy will be most displeased with you. Maybe now I can convince him to finally destroy you…" he murmured, conspiratorially clenching his fists.
"Strax this is not helpful!" Vastra scolded, wildly flailing her arms in the general direction of the open door, "Can't you go and find something to freshen the air with, at least?!"
"Deception tactics!" Strax piped up with glee, "The boy will never smell the land mine-"
"NO LAND MINES!" Vastra glared at Strax sternly, "Nothing that could harm the bo-I mean Jenny, ugh!" Vastra threw her hand up in exasperation, "Now you have me doing it…" she grumbled.
"Very well!" Strax stood to attention, "I shall report back with some olfactory distraction equipment" he finished, and marched off to the upper floor of the house determinedly.
"And she is a girl!" Vastra called after him, but to no avail, she feared. Vastra forlornly turned her attention to the lingering wisps of smoke in the hallway – the breeze from the open door seemed only to be pushing the smell around the house. She wasn't sure that she would be able to talk herself out of Jenny's disappointment this time, although her wife was usually amenable to physical remuneration. If she could apply enough damage control to minimise the incident, Vastra wondered if she could possibly turn this situation to her advantage.
Smiling sneakily to herself, Vastra drew up the sleeves of her dress decisively, quickly closed the front door for safety, and planned to make her way round the house opening various windows to allow wind channels for the smoke to escape. If she was fast enough, she might be able to almost completely disguise the incident before Jenny returned home. Phase two of her (she had to admit it) ingenious plan would deploy profuse apologies and various, inventive means of recompensing her wife for all the stress incurred…
"Fool proof!" she stated, triumphantly, as she made her way into the sitting room, which had got a nasty hit of the odour. Vastra almost hummed to herself as she made a beeline for the windows; she could not abide this housecleaning business too often, but once in a while was admittedly calming.
Her veneer of contentment was instantly shattered however, by the familiar, distinctive noise she had come to associate with both joy and fear. The unique whine and groan TARDIS invaded the sitting room, as the great blue box materialised in the centre of the room between the furniture. Vastra was near to developing apoplexy with the inconvenience of the Doctor's parking.
Her heart thudding with trepidation, but limbs tingling with happy anticipation, Vastra removed her attention from the windows to welcome the Doctor as he stumbled out of the time machine, his face still stern and old as it had been last time.
"Oh! The sitting room!" he growled in his fierce, Scottish accent, "My aim is getting worse" he placed a thoughtful hand to his chin, frowning at the blue box.
"Where exactly were you aiming for?" Vastra asked reasonably.
"I don't know" he admitted. "Why do you look so happy?" he shot back suspiciously, picking up on Vastra's earlier mood.
"No reason!" Vastra blushed a deep green, recalling her previous fantasies, which were far too graphic to repeat to the Doctor.
"Oh God…" the Doctor's expression sombre as he started back, "I haven't interrupted any of your…activities have I?!" he exclaimed in horror, shakily pointing to Vastra's upturned sleeves.
"Most certainly not!" Vastra cried, mortified at the suggestion, "Jenny is not even in the house-"
"You're having an affair?!" the Doctor squinted disapprovingly, "Who on Earth with?" he continued, confused.
The last insinuation was far too much for Vastra's nerves, and the Doctor seemed to realise that he may have gone too far with his suggestions as the Silurian stormed towards him angrily.
"Now listen here!" Vastra growled, pointing a stern finger at the Doctor's now slightly cowering face, "You know, you know I would never…" Vastra stopped as if only just registering part of the comment the Doctor has made, "What do you mean 'Who on Earth with'?" she raged, only just uncovering the deep layers of offence hidden in the statement.
"I mean…" the Doctor started, pushing back into the side of the TARDIS as the tall Silurian loomed over him, "You're no spring chicken…"
"Coming from you that is practically-"
"Wait!" the Docotr yelled, so suddenly that Vastra jumped back enough for him to sneak from her gaze and duck under her arm. Vastra watched in utter confusion as the Doctor sniffed the air, "Such a rookie mistake Vastra…"
Grim realisation dawned on Vastra as she slumped in admission, distracted from their earlier argument. She smirked slightly, despite herself.
"I know"
"Anyone would think you were a mere child with a chemistry set!" the Doctor grinned slightly, "Ooo, Jenny isn't going to like this…"
I know!" Vastra exclaimed, body tense and agitated beneath her wide eyes, "And thanks to you it is doubtful I will ever air the house in time to mask it!"
"Don't underestimate her, she's find out" the Doctor replied, and Vastra felt her heart sink as she acknowledged just how right he was about her wife. The Doctor ran off to throw his head inside the laboratory, coughing profusely as he did so, "You really need some ventilation in here!" he called back from the hallway. Vastra sighed and followed the voice out of the sitting room. She watched her friend forlornly, wishing she had never given in to the urge to misbehave.
"Yes I know" she stated for the third time, tired of the Doctor being correct about everything today. She rolled her eyes at herself as she followed him around the corner, knowing her redemption plans were becoming faint.
"Can't you just blame it on Strax?" the Doctor replied more kindly, pulling his head out of the doorway.
"No" Vastra slapped her hands to her side irritably and began to pace in back and forth pattern, "I tried that last time, but Strax was not very good at colluding-" Vastra bit her lip nervously, remembering the telling-off she had received, "It made things worse" she finished, vaguely, not wanting to re-live the episode.
"Pity" the Doctor raised his eyebrows, acknowledging the defeat with a tilt of his head, "Still…" his eyes brightened as if suddenly illuminated, "Wait here…" he squeezed Vastra's biceps lightly before tearing back into the sitting room and slamming the door behind himself as he delved into the TARDIS. After what seemed like only a moment, he appeared with what appeared to be a golden, metal plated pressurized can.
"Bit of housekeeping for the old girl" he explained, in response to Vastra's baffled expression, "Shut your eyes, it stings"
"Wha-" Vastra began, but only just had enough time to clench her eyelids shut before the Doctor had pressed the can down. She felt a pulse of energy shudder through her body like the shock of an earthquake and reverberate through the house in the same fashion. Vastra experienced a (perhaps) irrational fear that the Doctor would have simply erased the house, but when she opened her eyes 13 Paternoster Row was indeed still standing.
"De-Odourising Ray!" he threw the can in the air so that it twirled, and caught it deftly, "Disposable, unfortunately. Luckily I have about one thousand…" he brandished the new defunct can triumphantly, as if it were some sort of trophy, "Fell of the back of a spaceship" he winked.
"Why didn't you just do that to begin with?!" Vastra asked, flustered but relieved that the burning smell has been replaced with a faint hint of pine.
"I was enjoying myself" the Doctor shrugged unapologetically, "She'll find out anyway you know, I just couldn't stand the smell"
"Well…" Vastra began, feeling a pinch of anxiety in her gut very similar to nausea at the Doctor's prophetic words, "Thank you anyway" she finished, humbly.
"Not a problem" the Doctor replied distractedly, throwing the can onto a nearby chair.
"So…" Vastra collected herself and moved to the same chair, picking up the can and studying it with interest as she lowered herself slowly into its seat, "To what do I owe the pleasure?"
The Doctor came suddenly back to attention.
"Help" he declared dramatically, as if he couldn't remember why he was here himself, "Help…I need your help" he started over to the chair, planting his hands down emphatically on its arms, his expression grave.
"You always have my help, Doctor" Vastra replied levelly, looking up from the De-Odourising can. She never forgot just how much she accumulatively owed him over the years they had known each other, albeit with an infrequent presence.
"Exactly" the Doctor pushed off the chair and looked down at Vastra's seated figure, "Someone is attempting to undo all that"
Vastra's hands froze round the can as if someone had caused her to stop and the rest of time to move on. Her whole body was paused as the memory of Trenzalore flickered like a struggling yet persistent candle wick in her consciousness. Her past had been toyed with before with traumatic results, and that was the sanitary way of phrasing it. The recall of losing Jenny twice in one night crept around her being, lingering around her mouth and stealing the words she wanted to speak. She was bizarrely treating it as if by verbalising the Doctor's implications, she would move them out of her imagination and into the realm of reality.
"My history?" Vastra started at the can, unable to look up at him and see the assent in his eyes.
"Yes" he confirmed, "But I cannot tell you more"
"Why?!" now Vastra met his sullen gaze, unflinchingly.
"Because if I explain it now, I don't think you will agree!" his face was clenched with impatience as he spoke, "But if you trust me, we can spare a lot of pain" he argued passionately, "Not just for you" he added pointedly, glancing at Vastra meaningfully from under his angry, grey eyebrows. The Doctor didn't have to say names for Vastra to understand who he was talking about.
"Doctor" Vastra stood to face him, determination reverberating through her rigid body, "If this involves the people I care about…"
"Please just trust me" the Doctor held his position in front of Vastra, earnestly and sincerely, "I wouldn't ask if-"
A click, followed by a slow creak sounding through the hallway cut him off. The Doctor's manner shifted; panic visible in his weathered features.
"The boy has returned!" Strax bellowed from the top of the stairs, "Defensive positions!"
Vastra sighed in relief and smiled; the Doctor's reaction had caused her to believe some great enemy would be barging in after tearing apart her timeline, so dramatic his revelations had been.
"Doctor it is only Jenny, really you must-"
"It's better this way"
"The Doctor held out his hand to Vastra expectantly, and Vastra almost acquiesced to the same impulsive urge that had been the undoing of many of his former companions. But it was that same thought that stopped her from taking the offered palm; how many of those same companions had not come back, met ill fate, or even been sent irreversibly backwards in time? Vastra thought of Rory and Amy, at least they had been together…
"No" Vastra took a step backwards, "If I go, she comes with me"
The Doctor dropped his hand and made to protest, but was cut off faster than a swipe from Vastra's blade.
"She is my wife Doctor, and she deserves to know what is happening to me" she hissed, dangerously, "If I was to die, to never return…"
"Why the blazes does it smell of bleedin' pine?!"
Vastra closed her eyes wearily as the front door shut behind Jenny.
"Told you" the Doctor smirked.
"Oh shut up!" the Silurian took a sideways look at the annoying Time Lord before attempting to pat herself down and compose herself for her irate wife.
"Have you b'in blowing stuff up again?! Goodness you're as bad as Strax!" Vastra visibly shrunk before the Doctor, which appeared to amuse him, as his deep furrowed brow rose to a sharp crest, "I swear, if I didn't love you so bleedin' much…"
As Jenny rounded the corner into the sitting room she was noticeably caught off-guard by the presence of the Doctor. Vastra was initially grateful for the distraction, but then the realisation of having to explain his appearance tarred her outlook.
"Doctor?" Jenny breathed, obviously startled. Her keen eyes flicked to Vastra's, and the Silurian noted the recognition of trouble in her wife's perceptive reaction, "What's 'appened?" Jenny asked seriously.
The Doctor attempted to give Vastra a beseeching look, as if trying to communicate non-verbally with her without Jenny noticing. But the action was futile, even a small child would know better than to attempt lying to Jenny, no matter the encouragement. Vastra had tried it before, and felt no obligation to repeat the exercise. At the same time however, Vastra felt a heavy, indescribably pressure on her shoulders, making her physically slump; she had to begrudgingly admit that dragging Jenny into this mysterious danger was perhaps unwise. How she hated risking her wife's well-being! Tapping her heel to the ground as if working up the energy to speak, Vastra finally straightened up, bearing the consequences of refusing the Doctor's earlier offer.
"Somebody is interfering with my past"
"Oh!" the Doctor cried out, frowning and flailing with rage, "If I was as cute as her you would have listened to me!" he accused, eyes popping out of his straining skill as he gestured at the increasingly baffled Jenny.
"About what?" Jenny joined in pointedly, her face thinning as her eyes narrowed at the recalcitrant Time Lord. The hint of challenge in her wife's tone only encourage Vastra's more rebellious nature.
"Well of course, he wanted me to ride off with him…" Vastra walked carefully towards her wife, dipping her head, opening her palms, and taking every opportunity to shift Jenny's ire onto the Time Lord, "No word to you, who knows…I could have been lost for years!" she finished theatrically, laying a possessive hand on Jenny's arm and linking it around her elbow, pouting innocently at her wife.
"I…" Jenny had to take several deep breaths, close her eyes, and collect herself to stop herself from shouting. Once she had taken a few moments to prise apart the information, she spoke once more, "I am not letting you take her anywhere dangerous without me" she stated, fiercely. Vastra felt an almost electric shudder at the sheer energy that seemed to vibrate from her wife; she was again reminded that she was glad she was not an enemy of her wife. To be cornered by her in compromising circumstances…Vastra had to forcibly remove that thought from her mind before it got out of hand in the wrong direction. She felt Jenny shift a little closer to her, and found it hard to suppress a grin of victory.
"Oh for pity's sake, fine" the Doctor relented disbelievingly, his strong Scottish accent belying his ire at the situation, "Geez – are all lesbians this…clingy?" he mumbled, half to himself and under his breath but not quite quietly enough to escape Jenny's attention.
"Now-" she began.
"I don't want to know" the Doctor held up a halting hand abruptly, "Look I'll take both of you if I must" he grumbled, "But potato-head really has to stay behind"
Vastra exchanged a knowing, worried look with her wife, confirming that the churning anxiety she felt at that notion was shared by Jenny. Taking a big gulp to bury the lump of apprehension in her throat, Vastra began her objection.
"Doctor, there won't be a house left…"
"He won't even know you're gone!" the Doctor grappled his silver hair irascibly, "Five minute, tops!" he held up five fingers demonstratively, as if that served as definite proof.
Vastra felt a ripple of dreadful excitement charge through her body; she really was only stalling the inevitable, daunting proposition that had been presented before her. Not having to leave Jenny behind had calmed her somewhat, but she was unable to feel completely comfortable, and a vague sense of foreboding hung over her like a waiting storm cloud. What could be so terrible that even she the "Great Detective" could not be trusted with the information, or else she would refuse the Doctor? His reluctance to give her all the details concerned her more than even leaving behind Strax, unattended, with availability to weapons.
Vastra turned her head, and saw Jenny watching her expectantly, waiting for her decision. It was Vastra's own timeline that was being altered, after all. Vastra smiled back hesitantly, buoyed by Jenny's willingness to help, despite knowing any critical details for the mission. She allowed herself to attend to the Doctor once more, who hung almost in stasis; a picture of pleading, of genuine concern beneath his frown. Vastra had to trust that he would not ask her to do anything that was unnecessarily dangerous, and that by sparing her the details now, he might save her later. But to trust in and speak such assurance was more difficult than simply thinking and wanting it to be.
"Doctor" she crooned, "Can you not…"
"No" he shook his head, "Please, just…" he walked back and opened the Tardis door sharply with a creak and a groan, and stood there holding it expectantly.
Vastra felt a small tug at her beside where her arms was linked with Jenny's as her wife gave her a subtle nudge forward as approval. It was enough to push Vastra out of her state of indecision; they had to go with him, after all he had not let them down yet, and they could not simply leave such a grave matter without at least attempting to assist him.
Detaching herself from Jenny's grip around her arm, and instead taking her wife's hand as reassurance, Vastra cautiously walked through the TARDIS door and into the main console room, with Jenny loyally behind her. A tingling mist of wonder seemed to settle on her skin like damp London fog as she made her way into the cavernous ship.
"Good" the Doctor breathed, "Let's get on with this"
The slam of the TARDIS door seemed hollow and foreboding behind them.