Disclaimer: Death note is owned by Ohba Tsugumi and Obata Takeshi. I own the OC.
--
October 27, 2009
Author's foreword: hellooo everyone! I'm finally back! And believe me when I say I did not like being absent for so long. v_v it actually startled me when I found out I had been gone for roughly one year in the making. It was too long I got the impression someone already proclaimed me dead or in coma or something. (grieves in advance) but now I'm here thank you all for waiting! I feel I have so much more to say and owe so much explanation to you guys and gals but let's leave that chat for later neh?
(feeling pressured again) well… hopefully… this chapter is good enough for your waiting. (hides) please read it slowly. enjoy~
Half broken Memories
A fiction created by Hideki Tensei
Chapter 7
Boutique
The Boutique was located in the finer, less busy part of the lively Winchester Plaza, at an area where the white tiled walk marking the pathway of several esteemed establishments set a clear boundary of formality and the not. It was also where the other high class restaurants and shops were found along with its decorated anterior and attractive awnings to appeal to the varied yet sophisticated tastes of the rich.
When Near saw where they were heading, he found himself preferring it over the streets where he was surrounded by noise.
This place, was at the very least, quiet.
Although the people were more apt to stare at him…but it can be tolerated; Wammy's orphans, especially the new ones, were keen to do that to him; he was used to it.
Contenting himself to be guided along, Near followed his instructor when, along the way, they passed by a toy and variety shop window… and where, with all Near's logic and focus, he couldn't help taking a glance at the assortments piled on display, the interest playing along his eyes all too apparent: there were different kinds of building blocks, rubiks cubes, various houses and blank puzzles displaying degrees of difficulty – especially the difficulty. There was a large blank puzzle there that proved to be worthy of his undertaking…
Slowly, with an effort that was nearly physical, Near wrenched his stare away from the things he once considered one of his hobbies and returned his sight forward, forcing to stash away his apparent inclination towards the things.
That was reckless of him…Later, he will try to explain that behavior when he nearly fell for his subjective, feeling sense but fail to realize that it was a normal reaction for someone who had been confined within dark gray walls for a few years.
Right now, he could only hope his instructor had not noticed anything about that particular reaction…even at this stage, he couldn't afford to trust information to her so indiscreetly—especially her.
…which brings in the topic…
Near was suddenly aware that he was immersed in this new environment filled with temptations and curious new things, and his emotions were bound to betray his mind at some point. There were also an infinite number of threats to his safety, and eventhough Roger had secured the provision of a bodyguard to be taken with him in this situation, it still did not eliminate the risk.
It was best to be cautioned.
--
\Near's P.O.V.\
The boutique was predictably high class, given it belonged to its contemporary parts. Automatic sliding glass doors met their entrance, which slid aside to give way. The airconditioned smell was instantly refreshing and cool.
"Welcome to Rouen's Boutique…" the uniformed woman by the entrance pleasantly greeted, along with a bow and a gesture, "Please feel free to try our latest trends in men's…"
Ignoring her blatantly, Near continued his way towards the lobby when a hand gripped his sleeve from behind.
He didn't need to look behind to know who it was.
So much for trying to save time related to unneeded explanation...
Vera, his instructor, gave him what would have been a disapproving glare.
"Conduct Violation." those eyes firmly said…
For one moment, he was tempted to voice out his opinion, right in front of the attendant, that staying would be a crucial waste of time, especially for his part. But upon seeing her, he quickly decided against it.
He sighed, knowing there was no end to this. Moving back to her side, he resigned to listening to the detailed and flowery descriptions of the usherette, who seemed to be eyeing him more at the moment. Apparently, his ignoring her only served to catch her attention more.
He sighed again. He had a feeling this was going to be a difficult task…
--
\Vera's P.O.V.\
Seeing her own student casually walk out in front of the talking attendant had been an insult to Vera's firm ethical and etiquette principles, and the reaction was automatic. Swiftly, she tugged on Near's sleeve and motioned him to stay.
That should be enough foreword if he's so intelligent, she was thinking.
The boutique had been one of the many properties of the Rothschilds, and eventhough she was technically one of its owners who were given the full authority to do anything they want when they were in its bounderies, that was beside the point. Afterall, they were here to conduct their ongoing study sessions, and this behavior was no excuse.
But honestly though… eventhough she had considered it partly amusing to let him partake in a task that required him to change those clothes she disliked, she was worried for him.
It will definitely be a difficult task for someone like Near, who, from her impression and observations, was someone who was very used to the way he likes to live his life.
Vera had noticed it; when Near came back to the orphanage, he didn't even bother changing his clothes, which were wet and soggy, maybe from the rain. He seemed to be in dire need of doing something from the looks of it, enough for him to disregard the fact that he might catch a cold from wearing wet clothing... He seemed so determined to do or say something at that moment that Vera thought it would be best to be indifferent of that fact, so she did.
But instead, Near didn't say anything afterwards. He had just stared at her then, and then he was acting more cooperative than usual…
Now Near would have to change the preference he had cling to for so long.
Anything outside of that preference was bound to have its repercussions… but, Vera placed her trust on the expertise of the attendants in the boutique to aid him in this dilemma, as she was sure they would.
She could only hope he would cooperate with them…
--
After a long while, the necessary arrangements were finally done. The attendants who were once standing in line by the hall now began to mobilize, indicating one thing: It was finally time to change.
The realization struck a guttering anxiety in Near, bothering him… he didn't know it was possible, but he was.
And as he was guided to the room, he will probably never admit to himself just how anxious he really was.
---
The first 10 minutes had probably been the memory Near wanted the least to preserve, the next 20 probably the most agonizing phase he experienced so far.
Even the male/female attendants who had assisted in the "procedure" would have probably agreed with him, as they had suffered more than he could ever imagine.
"No, I don't want it." Near was saying, for the 5th time, to a weary looking attendant.
"Then how about this sir?"
"No, it's not long enough."
"But sir, this is the longest Armani brand we have in here…"
"I will not wear it if it's not loose." he retorted resolutely.
"Then what about this one? It's our most famous brand…"
"It's not white."
"Sir, all our apparels here are black…"
"If it's not white then I will not wear it."
The attendants looked at each other as if to confirm what they both have in mind.
"The only white clothing we have, sir, serves as an undershirt."
There was a momentary silence, and they were about to conclude that their client had realized he made a mistake and that he was just having one of his finicky episodes to have caused him to be the first to suggest buying an undershirt in their boutique, when Near spoke.
"That's fine with me," Near replied bluntly, "Please let me have it."
It must be the courteous word he had said so casually for the first time since his constant rejecting of their offer, or the hint of courtesy in his voice, that they finally handed it to him.
Nimbly, Near picked up the long sleeve shirt using his thumb and forefinger and surveyed it almost queerly before placing it on the couch. Then he continued to sit with his knees to his chest on the couch and stared ahead, his posture unmistakably that of unshakeable resolution.
The female head attendant stood by to witness all these, thinking it would be futile to do anything in this case.
It was prudent to be wise.
The client, as she observed according to her keen judgment from years of experience dealing with different types of customers, was not stubborn… he simply liked one set of clothing. Just one.
"Sir, it seems from the way you chose earlier that you preferred only white clothing?" the attendant approached amiably, smiling as she did so.
The man named Near didn't even look at her, or seemed like he was paying attention as he fumbled with his hair.
But he replied. "Yes, I do."
There was progress.
She was afraid he would stay still and become a fossil, sitting the way he does and the way he stared. But he turned out more cooperative than she thought. Now then, for the next step… she approached him again, as though probing gently, "If I'm not mistaken… you do not want to change your current clothes, am I correct?"
There was a slight shift on his face as though the question caught his attention. But it was enough.
He certainly didn't even look like the type who wanted to get dressed…
"But you're doing this for that woman who accompanied you here?"
Silence.
That struck a huge significance, the attendant saw. Near didn't say anything for a while, even hesitated twirling his hair, which indicated that it was true.
The head attendant paused for a while, processing her findings. So apparently, the main proprietor's sister, had an odd client who had strange mannerisms, and who appeared like they had an agreement between them that he will get dressed, against his wishes.
But she wasn't one to muse over petty things.
"I believe I have just the solution for you…" quickly finding the perfect opportunity, she launched on her plan, and started going over the steps again…
--
/Near's P.O.V./
In the first place, Near was reluctant, almost dubious about the relevance of this session. It was obvious from the way his tutor behaved that she was testing his limits. And inspite his pride, he had to admit it was working; he was repulsed. If he allowed his clamoring feelings to overwhelm him for one second, he would have bolted out of this place straight to the orphanage and crawl up to a fetal position and forget this ever happened.
Because changing his clothes—the only clothes he would ever consent to wearing ever since he knew how to—would be tantamount to forcing him to change a part of him. And he obstinately rejected the idea.
It was like breaking into the barriers of his comfort and principles all over again…
And the fact that he had to hide that made it worst.
He must hide it; showing he felt repulsed over changing his clothes to the general public, most of all to her, could not only affect his grades but might also be exploited as a form of weakness. Showing it to them would be like admitting that he did have this odd weakness… it was the least he could do.
But the painful thing was, he knew it had to be done… There really was no other choice. As of the moment, he was faced with an opponent he couldn't bear to lose: himself.
And unless Near was going to be any proficient and clear headed in facing the complexities of the case, he had to do this.
So, despite all that was said and done, despite what he kept reinforcing himself to do, why does he feel like a foreign material was forcefully stuck around his body now?
Near stood in front of the arc of mirrors inside the dressing room, not finding the strength or relevance of moving at all. He was alone in the room, but he felt like he was not.
He thought the loathsome feeling would end after he wore the confounded dress, but it turned out this moment was the climax of that tragedy.
Reaching for his groomed hair, he grabbed one of its locks and began to twirl it as though in compensation for all this intrusion. But even that couldn't eliminate the feeling of disgust.
The man standing in front of him was dressed handsomely in a crisp black tie, along with the white long sleeve as the undershirt. His silver hair, curly from years of habitual twirling, was combed straight and parted to the side so it was no longer disheveled and didn't cover his eyes. That, and the slight make-up the attendant had applied…
Overall, an image of a prince, who somehow had a look of undying determination in his eyes to the point that he appeared like he was grimacing, which didn't quite match the elegance of his dress.
It was a surreal feeling. To Near's eyes, the other man facing him was a stranger. It was not him. He couldn't believe it; he didn't want to.
It was like a repulsive thing had settled over his body, that even the undershirt couldn't suppress.
The presence of the white undershirt, which had a close, striking resemblance to his favorite clothes and the only ones he would agree to wear in this boutique, was not enough. He could still feel the heaviness of the black jacket over him. It made him sick.
There really was no use resisting, though… immeasurable effort had been invested just to make him wear this… even the female head attendant had her own share of embarrassment as she had been the one to generously offer her help in helping him change.
That part didn't matter; it was the after feeling of wearing it.
Once more, Near looked back at the mirror, twirling his hair lazily. A hint of grimace marked his smooth face as he stood rigid, as though daring the image to go away with his show of pertinence…
After several seconds of staring, he sighed wearily and visibly relaxed.
What to do now?
The image surely wouldn't go away.
It was him after all. Near had at least that amount of self awareness to admit the obvious…
He sighed again. This time, he willed himself to move.
There was at least one more obstacle left. The thought made him weary. Moving slowly, Near made his way out of the dressing room and into the lobby, his left hand still working on curling his hair in an effort to remain calm and keep up this poker face.
When he reached the bottom of the stairs, his sight automatically locked on the only sitting figure in the vast lobby of the boutique.
Vera.
Did his chest suddenly felt tighter, or was it the effect of the jacket on him?
Thoughts that didn't have anything to do with the case tumbled down his mind unwelcome.
How would she react if she saw him? Or would she notice at all?
Either way, Near thought it was rational to feel embarrassed now…
---Especially now.
For the first time, he was at a lost for words, or thoughts, as he stood in the shadows of the stairs, immobilize in place.
--
\Vera's P.O.V.\
Vera had been reading one of the magazines on the rack in the lobby to pass time while she waited for Near. Apparently, the magazine had served its purpose to provide leisure or rather distraction for clients like her and she found herself interested in reading it for awhile when she remembered the time.
…And the party.
She realized, with impending anxiety, that she must attend a party later this evening… an important event she had radically forgotten in the midst of her sessions with Near. In fact, it would start two hours from now. It was an important party for her elder brother, and she knew she must attend it at all costs…
But what about Near?
He would have to come along. The answer was swift and obvious.
Of course. And he was dressed for it, after all… it was a great opportunity for the advancement of the lessons and also his exposure to public, but she wasn't so sure about his still-developing manners and etiquette… maybe he will have to be left on one corner for that…
Just then, something caught her peripheral vision and dismissively, she assumed it was the head attendant, or someone.
Glancing at her wristwatch, it had already been nearly an hour since Near went into the dressing room.
What's taking them so long? She wondered and was about to go about the task and finding out for herself when she stood up and saw someone standing by the stairs.
The first glance didn't quite sink in; she had a fleeting thought he was just another client, maybe another unusual one.
Or… he could be an it; a statue ornament, judging from it's rigidly, unmoving nature… But immediately after, just as she was turning away from him, the information got caught and connected.
Vera swung her sight back to the man. And for a second, she managed to gape her mouth to an "o".
Speechless.
Inclining her head as though the movement would change the angle, she looked at him again, this time taking a step closer to prove she was seeing it right.
It was not a trick of light.
"Near?"
The man she called Near didn't reply but began twirling his hair, slowly, like he was measuring every forward and backward motion in centimeters.
Moving closer, she found his features resembled him…maybe it was him.
"Is that you?" she called out softly. She had no intention to make it sound like she just found out her student had just transformed into a female, but it showed in her voice anyway.
Near instinctively avoided her stare. It was also possible she just saw him flinch from the sound of her voice.
In her incredulous state, she was able to notice it and immediately jumped at an apology, "Oh, I'm sorry!" She threw a little laugh, "That was rude. I didn't mean to."
Just the same, there was no reaction from him but his face appeared to have darkened… she couldn't really tell from the gloom.
"But Near," she began again; she couldn't help it. It was like seeing another version of Near.
"You look very—handsome." She commented sincerely. And it was true. He looked so different from his usual, disheveled self that she still couldn't believe she had just said that comment.
"You do." She repeated in confirmation and looked at him, "Well done. You look very decent in it."
This time, the dark shade on Near's face grew darker and he deliberately shifted his face to the side, as though to avoid facing her, or something.
She thought she heard an audible grunt.
"…Have I passed the test now?" Near spoke, rather tightly like he was chewing on big mound of gum. In the silence and gloom, it was already audible for her to hear him, eventhough his voice sounded like a murmur.
"Uh… yes. Yes of course." she replied, for the second time stumbling over her words again, "You passed the test, Near." She smiled.
"But," she continued, aware he had shifted his face now, "We will have another session today…"
She decided to cut beating around the bush.
"We'll be attending a party, and there will be lots of important guests…" she trailed off, careful in choosing her words.
Near looked like he needed sympathy right now; from the way he was acting so rigid and tense, it was clear he had enough of today. But she had to at least give him an option if he wanted to suffer more or not, didn't she?
"Would you still like to come with me to the party, Near?"
Silence.
"He's weighing his options again…" Vera observed, not for the first time. And then wondered, again, if she was making the right choice… His character left too much suspicion.
But then he asked, his tone completely different now, "What is it for?"
She had seen that coming; the man was inquisitive and sharp, at most… he grew more questioning these days though.
"It's for the celebration of my brother Adolf's success. It's also his birthday today."
Near grew silent again, as though he was analyzing her simple, honest answer.
Really, what more could he get from it?
But at the very least he seemed positive about it…
"I'll go with you…." He replied.
Now he moved into the light and she could see him; he appeared a lot more striking than from the shadows. He was as if he might be another person other than Near… the impact of the clothes and the straightening of his hair had done a lot of difference.
Vera realized she was staring, quite rudely, at him.
"…if it's alright." He added, along with that smirk.
And she thought that didn't sound so bad.
--
/Near's P.O.V./
Near was well aware of the fact that Wammy's policies and guidelines for L's preservation included safety priorities for every public undertaking, such as this one---especially this high risk one wherein he was under the tutelage of an instructor he distrusts.
---which explains the accompaniment of a bodyguard, who was currently tagging along with him as of the moment.
But now, he decided if he was going to gather substantial information for this case, as well as avoid any possible inconveniences, he would have to drop the bodyguard and go alone, along with his tutor, Vera, to the place where the party will be held.
The choice he would make was crucial, he knew, to his safety. He would be exposed to the danger and threat of having his identity discovered as the current L… his life would be in danger. But if that would mean getting information, Near didn't mind at all.
He was willing to bet on it.
Besides, if indeed Vera had intentions to take his life or expose him, she would've done so on an earlier notice… other than that, she showed she was unaware that he was anyone other than "Near". And he greatly doubted she would be interested in kidnapping him for ransom or other properties Quillsh might possess.
If anything, she was far wealthier than him.
Apparently, her interests lie on teaching him. So far.
That was enough.
Now the problem was how to convince the bodyguard to leave his side without letting Roger and the entire orphanage or the FBI sending minions to rescue him from the alleged kidnapping brought about by his unexplained absence…because he certainly cannot tell them he was going to investigate his own tutor by going to her party. This was his investigation…
Inevitably, the bodyguard would have been given strict instructions to follow and protect Near to the death from the moment he was hired. Eventhough it was highly likely he also did not know Near was L… still, that would not be enough to convince him to abandon Near because of investigations sake…
If it had been Lester, he could have been more lenient and give the chance to let Near go.
But this one was more difficult to manage.
Sighing, Near decided there was only one way to go. And he had only one wireless phone to do it.
--
"Roger, this is Near."
Upon hearing the same voice that commanded and mobilized police forces all over the world, Roger's attention immediately snapped in place, even though the action made his heart nearly jumped right out of his chest.
"Near, what is it?"
A brief pause.
"Something happened… Lester will be coming over now to take the place as my bodyguard from now on." Near narrated bluntly, "I want you to fire the current one I have. His services will no longer be required."
Bluntly. Yet straight to the point.
Only Near could ever say those words… Roger's heart grew cold and apprehensive at the suggestion, but eventually he agreed. He was well aware Quillsh's testament also included complying and cooperating to every undertaking that involved aiding L in his investigations.
And Near as the current L…
He had no choice. As much as he wanted to protect Near from potential harm…
"Alright…" Roger didn't hide his sigh, "Let me speak to your bodyguard."
--
Few minutes later,
Near hung up the phone, satisfied.
Now all that's left was to ensure his behind doesn't catch on fire. He must constantly watch his back on his own from this moment onwards…
Currently, he only had the wireless phone as his means to contact the FBI in case anything happens. In a way, the phone would be his only weapon, as his body was undoubtedly out of the question as he was frail and not built for any potential combat.
Originally, the phone served as the contact medium for the members of the SPK to be able to reach him anytime while he was in the middle of the study sessions. But now it looks like he'll use it to contact them.
That should be enough… he thought. That would lessen the risks of him dying or being exposed unnecessarily.
But he really doubted that was the reason he was so determined to go with her.
Near knew he would do anything to gather any possible information he could get his hands on, even if it means placing a risk on his life. Besides, he didn't place much stock on his life in the first place…
What he cared, right now, was to verify his suspicion on one person: Vera Nieve Rothschild, the daughter of a multimillionaire turned teacher who went to their orphanage to provide private tutoring…to Near, most exclusively. The current L: Near.
The whole scenario reeked of attempted deceit. Or better yet, espionage…
He had yet to do a thorough investigation on her, but he might as well be the one to initiate it now before he lets them take care of it…Near was aware the orphanage had already done that part for him, but he had a feeling she had something else to hide…
Besides, it wasn't so bad. Near found out he was confident she had something to do with all this. If it turns out there wasn't, he would look for it.
Because just like L's suspicion of Light, Near was positive she had one. He would stake his life on it.
Author's endnotes:
Honestly, this chapter took 3 runs/retakes. I started it a week ago, and even then my unpolished and rusty writing skills couldn't even get Near's complicated personality burning in my mind! It reached more than 3000 words of pure nonsense, then I gave up. The second try was a lot easier but it felt like it was more of a rambling chapter so I did it again with foot notes this time to keep me guided and prevent my mind from rambling again. Well, this is the result, and hopefully it's okay… (sweatdrop)
But really, this absence is like a crippling disease of the mind… (shiver)
By the way, I did some minor revisions in the earlier chapters, thinking I had to do some cleanup of the "corny" parts after neglecting the story for so long. Hehe. It's nothing much, the changes do not alter the plot any way. I think I had to beta-read it now than later, and it would be a good way to exercise the dullness of my skills as a beta-reader, now that I'm on the subject. Well, that's enough ramble. I'm feeling sleepy…
(Oh. And CLair if you're reading this, remember the crippling disease I mentioned here… It's true. Believe me~ so you better update too if you don't want your skills to get rusty…
---Did that just sounded like a threat? n_n)
I'll strive to keep the next update within this week.
Thanks for reading! :)