Merlin entered his chambers with tears in his eyes. Gwen and Gaius both watched nervously as he passed them by and went straight to his room. They heard him slam the door and fall like a limp body on his bed.
"I'll deal with it." Gwen said and before Gaius could intervene, she was already knocking on Merlin's door.
When there was no answer, Gwen slowly pushed the door open and revealed a depressed Merlin. He laid face down on his bed.
"Merlin." Gwen quietly said, as she sat near him and began to slowly stroke his hair. "Can you tell me what happened?"
For a while, Merlin stayed in the same position but finally, after Gwen's persistence, he sat up and began to tell what had happened. He started from the very beginning, that being when Arthur had first started to change, by acting the way he had been lately. The way the Prince had stopped eating his food all together, and finally to the present, the apology he had given Merlin today.
The young warlock didn't go through this without crying, and Gwen even felt her eyes become watery. She hated to see Merlin stuck in this situation, where his heart was being torn two different ways.
"Regardless," Gwen said, pulling him into a hug. "What Arthur has done is far beyond forgiving. And, I think he's just tricking you Merlin."
"No!" Merlin yelled back as he softly pushed away from his friend. "It was different this time...I swear! The way he looked at me...the way he spoke. When he dismissed me, I didn't sense anger, I only sensed hurt." He paused as he put his head in his hands. Gwen gently rubbed his back, beckoning him to continue.
"When I told him that...I hated him..." Merlin sat up and stared ahead. His eyes were rimmed red around. "He looked so hopeless Gwen! Oh God, I hope he doesn't do anything to himself!" And with that, Merlin burst into tears again.
"Merlin, this isn't healthy for you...he's not healthy for you!" Gwen replied. "Just wipe him from your mind!"
"I can't, I love him..." Merlin finally admitted. "I love him so much, I don't want to think that he'd hurt himself, but that look he gave me...the look in his eyes! Gwen, I must see him again to make sure he's well."
"No!" Gwen yelled. "Not at all Merlin! I've said it earlier, this is unhealthy for you! I wouldn't trust Arthur for a minute!"
Merlin very desperately wanted to avoid an argument with his friend, but the more she denied him his free will to see his love, the more impulsive the situation seemed to become. Merlin became angrier with Gwen as the two began to raise their voice, finally coming to a fair resolution.
Merlin would be able to see Arthur later, if only he had agreed to come to Gwen's house and rest.
That morning, breakfast seemed shallow without Arthur there. Even Morgana found it strange to eat with Uther alone. It seemed that even if the two were so used to each others company, Arthur was not there to start a conversation.
"Have you seen Arthur anywhere?" Uther asked, breaking the strange silence. "He should be down here at the moment, unless his servant brought his breakfast to him."
"Yes, but still he'd come down to speak to you." Morgana replied. "Perhaps he's slept in."
"But wouldn't his servant wake him up?" Uther asked.
"The same servant that was supposed to bring him his breakfast?" Morgana asked as well.
"I suppose so, but if the same servant that delivered his meals is the same servant that is supposed to wake him up then that servant_" "I, will go check on him Uther." Morgana intervened before Uther could continue speaking. As annoyed as she was, she didn't want to have to hear Uther rambling about nonsense.
Excusing herself from the table, she ran and made her way to Arthur's chambers, mumbling all sorts of curse words.
"Arthur, open up!" She yelled as she banged her fist at his door. "I'm getting really tired of your attitude, it's been tiresome lately." And still, there was no response. "Fine then, have it your way!" With that being said, Morgana angrily walked away from the room, completely oblivious to the blood coming from underneath the door.
As she arrived back downstairs, she saw Uther still sitting at the table. "He's still asleep I see." The King said. "Well, let's let him have his rest, he'll need it, while it lasts."
Gwen watched cautiously as Merlin controlled the water. He was able to mold it around his hands and make it float through the air.
"You know you're lucky." She said. "To be born with such a gift."
"Or do you mean such a curse?" Merlin corrected as the water splashed into the sink. "Here I'd be killed for it."
"Still, it's not something you should really be ashamed for. I mean, it could be used for good." Gwen vanished for a while as Merlin washed the dishes. She then returned, holding a basket of laundry.
"I'll be leaving for the castle." She announced.
"Come about?" Merlin said, as he turned to face her.
"I have Morgana's clothes, I suppose she'll need them back." Gwen smiled.
"Can't I come?" Merlin sounded desperate. "I could check on Arthur."
Gwen sighed and rolled her eyes. "Mind you Merlin, I'll check on him." Gwen smiled as she made her way to the door.
_
Morgana was in a less than pleased mood as Gwen dressed her that afternoon, and she began to question why.
"Arthur." Morgana replied. "The bloke hasn't come out of his room since this morning. It's well past the morning hours."
"Well, I must check on Arthur...for Merlin." Gwen finished dressing Morgana. "He's very worried about him."
Morgana flipped her hair back and then faced Gwen. "Whatever for? Why is he worried about Arthur's condition?"
"The two talked a bit, from what I understand."
"Well, I wouldn't trust a thing he says. He's probably playing Merlin." Morgana managed.
"Yes, try telling Merlin that." Gwen said as she made her way for the door. "I'll see you later Morgana."
Gwen hurried to Prince Arthur chambers.
Her heart was thumping wildly even before she entered his room. For some reason, she felt an unknown fear, as if something was terribly wrong, as if there was a reason for Arthur's absence.
Still, at the same time she was very surprised when she opened the door and found a collapsed and bleeding Prince.
Her screams are what sounded the Knights, Morgana, and Uther himself. And without question, Arthur (who at the moment seemed more dead than alive)was rushed to Gaius' chambers.
_
When Gwen arrived home, Merlin stood there and waited for some good news. He felt his heart drop when Gwen had told him the devastating news and without warning, he ran to the castle, hoping to make it in time to save Arthur.
"This is not the result of an attack." Gaius said in his usual soft voice. "This is the result of a suicide."
"W...what?" Uther asked in his frantic voice. "Why would he even think of taking his own life?" Even Morgana stood there, wearing the look of shock in her eyes.
"There are never clear answers to situations such as this one." Gaius advised as they all looked at the cadaver before them. "But whatever pain he is in now, I assure you...he is not in it anymore."
"He is not dead!" Uther yelled. "It can't be!"
Before the king went into a deadly fit, Morgana took him by the hand.
"Uther..." She said quietly. "Whatever has caused Arthur pain, it's gone now...we should leave Gaius to explore more options for his death, if suicide doesn't sit well with you."
And Uther, who was still in shock allowed Morgana to lead him out of the chambers, leaving Gaius alone.
"Pity..." Gaius thought to himself as he searched for his potions to preserve a dead body.
At that moment, Merlin came bursting into the chambers. At once, he saw Arthur's motionless body laying on the bed, and he quickly made his way to it.
"Is he dead?" Merlin asked in shock, as he put his hand on Arthur's pale cheek.
"I'm afraid so...or at least he will be. When he first arrived, there was a faint pulse...it should be gone now."
"Gaius!" Merlin peeled himself away from his love for just a second. "Is there any spell, any enchantment I can use?" And Merlin sounded desperate.
"I'm afraid there's not a spell Merlin.." Gaius paused. "But in legends, if my memory serves me correctly... the power to call someone back from the brink of death resides in the heart of the caller. But that person must be a sorcerer...and he must be powerful. He must have all the will to bring the one he loves back."
"I don't understand." Merlin said in bewilderment. "What do you mean?"
"I mean, you summon your magic from your heart and convert it into a life source...it must be from the heart though." Gaius paused as he stared at the way Merlin held Arthur. Almost as if the Prince was still alive. "Do you love him Merlin?"
"Yes." The Warlock replied.
"And do you wish for him to live?"
"Yes!" Merlin yelled back. "And I would do anything!"
Gaius quickly made his way towards Arthur and checked for a pulse. "There is a very faint one." Gaius said. "He is still alive but just barely. You do have the power to change that Merlin. I believe I'll leave you in private, for focus."
Merlin wasn't even paying attention when the older warlock left.
He only placed his hands on the Prince's chest, where the stab wound was covered by bandages. Then he focused as hard as he could, harder than he ever had.
Memories and thoughts flooded his head. He tried to think of life with Arthur dead, his child would not know the great man that he belonged to. Camelot, would have no future king and the kingdom would fall to chaos. Aside from all of that, Merlin would hurt inside more than he ever had before. The fact that the death of Arthur was his own cause only made him focus harder.
"Don't die." He said out loud. "I swear, if you open your eyes Arthur...I will never stop loving you! I will be there every moment with you until the day I die...and I will forgive you!"
Still, the Prince laid motionless as magic was being channeled through his body. Yet, this wasn't enough to get Merlin to stop.
He continued on and on. He felt lightheaded and weak at some points, but it didn't cause him to lose his grip. The more happier thoughts he concocted, the more life was spread through Arthur. He wanted only to see the bright blue eyes staring at him, happy and full of life.
And with enough hope, love and magic...he got just that.
Arthur's chest began to heave large breaths of air before his eyes finally burst open. He stared at Merlin, as he was now fully aware that the man was a sorcerer.
"Merlin..." Arthur started.
"Don't talk!" Merlin gasped. "Please...I know what you've seen but_"
"Merlin, I'm not going to tell a soul what I've seen." Arthur promised. "I swear. I'll never do anything to harm you again and_"
Merlin had flung himself on the Prince and held him in a tight embrace. And then, feeling happiness and security, Merlin finally allowed himself to cry the way he'd always wanted to and that was in Arthur's arms.
I don't Own BBC Merlin.
I hope you liked this chapter! Because I surely did. Please review and I'll update for you!