Chapter 7: Another Jack

July in Colorado Springs was a lovely time of year. At a sunny seventy-six degrees, the balmy weather was a perfect backdrop for a casual lunch in one of the outdoor cafes gracing the newly remodeled downtown area. Under different circumstances, meeting Jack O'Neill here would have been idyllic. As it was, it was anything but.

Sam arrived at the popular café a full fifteen minutes before her "date" with Jack. He'd gotten in touch with her shortly after her brief conversation with Kerry and agreed to meet her. He had, however, insisted they meet in a public place. Though puzzled by his condition, she'd agreed. Now, despite the pleasant noon-time temperatures, Sam could feel a chill of foreboding course through her body as Jack approached her table.

Only twenty four hours earlier, Sam had been relieved to know she could see Jack. After all, for years the man had been a source of inspiration, safety and protection. But now, now she knew something was terribly out of place. This time, this reality was skewed in ways she couldn't begin to imagine.

"Hi," the tall, lean figure standing in front of her said somberly.

"Hi," Sam replied, nearly on a whisper, taking in the essence of the man she knew so well in another time, another place.

Sharing Sam's trepidation, yet for totally different reasons, Jack took a seat at the small round table. Carefully, he positioned himself to Sam's right where he could easily avoid eye contact when necessary. But for the moment, he found all he could do was gaze directly at her. She was beautiful, the way he remembered her before everything had gone wrong. And he still loved her. In spite of everything, he still loved her.

"How are you, Sam?" Jack asked sincerely, restraining a wayward impulse to reach for her hand.

"I'm well, thank you," Sam replied cautiously. "You?"

"Good. Busy, but you didn't call me to discuss how busy we all are," he observed. His eyes never leaving hers, Jack continued, "What's wrong? How can I help?"

Sam smiled wanly, unsure of where to go from here. She longed to blurt out everything, take this erstwhile stranger into her confidence. But that wasn't to be. There was too much riding on her decision.

"I am well, really I am," Sam asserted in her most confident voice. "But I'm confused about some things. I hoped you could help me."

"Fire away," Jack replied, a familiar grin gracing his face, an all too familiar feeling of protectiveness scaring the living daylights out of him.

"Okay," Sam said, as the waiter delivered two coffees and lunch menus. "I know I've been sick, but I'm better now. I'm trying to understand what's happened and where I go from here." That much was true. Sam wanted to get as much information from Jack as she could in order to know where to go next.

"And…?"

"What happened? To me, to us?"

"What happened? Just like that? What happened?" Jack said, wondering whether he could have this conversation.

"I don't think I was able to understand before … before the last hospital stay," she said, drawing on the small pieces of information she'd obtained from Jacob. "I'd like to understand. Then I can move on."

Jack looked at her. She looked so much like the Samantha he'd fallen for eight years ago. Confident, lovely, full of life, he hadn't seen her this way in years. Maybe she was right, maybe this last treatment had helped. Who was he to say it hadn't?

"Alright," he said, slowly sipping his coffee. "What do you want to know?"

Sam couldn't help herself. She had to know. Maybe in some way, it would help her with the bigger problem, getting her team home.

"What happened to us?" she asked.

Jack flinched as if he'd been punched in the gut. He'd divorced Sam Carter four years ago, but he'd never gotten over her. The woman who'd stolen his heart the moment they'd met at an Air Force awards ceremony, still held his emotions firmly in her hands. Sam was right; they'd never sat down and talked about what went wrong. They'd simply drifted irrevocably apart.

"You sure you want to do this here?" he asked.

"No, but if I don't, we might not talk at all."

She certainly knows me, Jack thought.

Jack nodded his agreement, as a well meaning waiter approached wondering if they wanted to order lunch. Sam shook her head and Jack motioned the young man away.

"I don't feel much like eating either," Jack said. He silently watched the woman he knew as his ex-wife, appreciating her anew. "Everything changed after Charlie," Jack said, as if waiting for her agreement.

"Charlie …?" Sam questioned gently, hoping Jack would fill in the gaps.

Seeing the question in Sam's eyes, Jack continued, "When he died, we were both so sad. You blamed yourself. I tried Sam, but I couldn't give you what you needed."

Sam had no words to respond, her mind struggling to make sense of what this Jack O'Neill was telling her. She was certain she saw moisture in his eyes, something he tried valiantly to hide.

"I'm sorry," Jack said sincerely. "I've wanted to say that to you for a long time."

"I don't understand," Sam admitted, lapsing back into silence.

He couldn't help himself. With infinite gentleness, Jack reached across the table, his hand meeting Sam's. When she didn't pull away, he tenderly wrapped his long fingers around her smaller hand.

"You blamed yourself for our son's death," Jack said, believing he was repeating what Sam already knew. "I wasn't strong enough to comfort you."

Sam closed her eyes, sudden realization dawning. In this world, a boy named Charlie had been their child. Once again, the tragic death of that child had destroyed Jack O'Neill's marriage. Oh God, she thought, in this reality Jack and I lost a child, our child..

Sam was startled by the intensity of her own emotional reaction. She knew this wasn't her Jack. Still she wanted to take him in her arms and make it better. Instead she voiced her true feeling.

"I'm sorry we didn't stay together," she said, her voice soft and low. "I thought we could make it through anything."

Jack blew out a small breath and closed his eyes for a moment. "Me too, Sam, but losing Charlie was too much. You got sick, I pulled away."

"And now?" Sam asked, needing to know where she stood in this reality.

"I care about Kerry," Jack said. "We have children; I love them, that won't ever change."

Children? They had children together!

"But I'll always be here if you need me," Jack added. "It has to be different, but I'll do all I can."

The voice, the intensity, the timbre, the tone were Jack's. His chocolate brown eyes locked with hers and Sam felt her own tears begin to fall.

"I know," Sam said, squeezing Jack's hand gently. She'd lost her husband in this reality, However it had happened, their marriage was over and Jack had moved on to someone else. Now Sam needed to find her way back to her own husband, to her Jack.

"Come on," she said, pulling her hand from his and slowly standing up. "Let's take a walk. There's something I need to tell you.

TBC