Ok. Next Chapter. It's short but it gives Luigi a chance to dispense some his wisdom and maybe, just maybe Alex is beginning to realise what an idiot she's been.
Alex felt numb and exhausted. Sleep had refused to come to her at all; she couldn't even take refuge in her dreams. She lay in bed, watching the room get gradually lighter and lighter as dawn broke.
Finally at six, she got up, showered, dressed and left the house as silently as she could. She was at her desk at just before 7. The rest of team tricked in dribs and drabs over the next hour and a half.
"Morning Ma'm, Rough night was it?" Shaz stood by Alex's desk, holding out a mug of tea.
"Something like that Shaz. Does it show?" she smiled wryly at the younger woman. Alex knew she looked dreadful.
Shaz caught the edge of sadness in her tone and smiled sympathetically "Just a bit Ma'am. I can lend you some lippy if you like?"
"I don't think lippy is going to solve my problems Shaz, but thanks" Alex took the proffered mug, and sipped it gratefully.
She spent the morning going over the statements from a spate of nasty burglaries, trying to find any leads. She was worried that who ever was responsible would escalate the violence until someone was killed. Ray had gone out after a brief phone call. She thought she'd heard the word "Guv" in there somewhere, but she'd been distracted by the Superintendent, who'd dropped in to see how they were coping with Gene's absence. She's been very careful to stress how much they all missed him, and that the department functioned more effectively with Gene at the helm.
In the afternoon she took Chris to talk to an informant who'd tipped them off about large amounts of cocaine on the streets. In the vacuum left by the destruction of Kingsland's little empire, a number of players were stepping up to be the main dealer in the area, and the snout had mentioned that one of them was being generous with his wares in an attempt to snare more punters.
Returning to the station, just after six, she left Chris to wait for Shaz. They were off to some new club in Tottenham Court Road. Alex made her way to Luigi's. She'd managed to avoid thinking too much of Gene all day, by keeping busy, but now she was reluctant to go home, scared to face him. She knew that he thought she'd done something terrible but she couldn't work it out. What the hell had she done with his jacket though? She remembered having it with her when she'd been at the hospital. She'd held it to her, breathing in the scent of him from it, the nearest link she had to him.
"You are eating alone, Senorigna?", Luigi's smiling but slightly worried form appeared behind the bar.
"Yes I am, Luigi. Alone. Just me. Story of my bloody life" she laughed bitterly.
"You are not going home to Mr Hunt this evening? He will miss you"
"I think that I'm the last person Mr Hunt wants see at this moment in time, Luigi…….. God I need a drink. Skip the food, I'll just have wine"
Silently he opened a bottle of house red and poured her a large glass. He left her alone then, busying himself with other customers, returning to her only to open more wine for her. She drank slowly, not wanting to get too drunk in case she had to face Gene later on. It was gone midnight when the last customers left. He locked the door behind them and made his way over to her.
"You are fighting again then?" his face was disapproving as she drained her glass and motioned for him to fill it up.
"Yes, we're are fighting again, and this time I think I've really fucked up. I don't think he'll forgive me"
Luigi frowned; he didn't like it when she swore. To him, she was too much of a lady to use such language.
"You listen to me Alex," he polished a glass fiercely as he spoke. "Mr Hunt, he cares for you very much. I watch him all the time, watching you..."
Alex started to speak and he cut her off "Yes he is rude, yes he shout at you, but he cares for you, very much, under this big macho man act" Luigi screwed his face into a scowl, puffing out his chest in a parody of Gene.
Alex felt herself smile, despite everything.
"You think so Luigi? Then why is he such a shit to me sometimes. I never know where I am with him. Why can't he just tell me" she wailed. She took a gulp of wine and rested her head on the bar "Bloody, bloody men!"
"Because he is scared. Because he's been hurt before. All you just said, he say the same about you. Even the bloody, bloody woman part."
She looked up indignantly and he smiled sadly at her. "You talk at each other all the time. You don't see what you're not saying. You are both so bloody English!", his voice rose in exasperation. "Italians, we don't have these problems….. We say what feel….. wrong or right, scary or not scary. We're not afraid to live our lives." He took her hand in his "Go home to him Signorina Drake. Talk to him, even if you are scared, talk to him. Tell him what is in your heart. Tell him you love him" Alex looked startled "But I don't….."
"No!" Luigi held a finger up "No! You love him, I know it is true. I watch you. I can see it in your eyes when you look at him. But Mr Hunt, he can't see it, he doesn't know how to look into your heart. You have to show him"
She sat for a moment, letting his words sink in and then nodded. She would do as Luigi said. She would give Gene her heart, give in to the power that he welded over her with such devastating effect.
Luigi smiled as she picked up her jacket, "Good. I call you a taxi"
The house was in darkness when she reached home. Paying the taxi driver, she was suddenly struck by a memory – She'd left it in the taxi! His jacket – she'd had it when she'd got in, she remembered putting round her shoulders for warmth. It must have slipped off as she'd got out!
She let herself in, and without stopping to think too much, climbed the stairs to his room. The door was slightly open… "Gene?" she whispered, "Gene?" No reply, he must be asleep, she thought. Well in that case, she'd wake him up. She needed to tell him before her nerve failed her. Pushing open the door Alex stepped quietly into the room.
His bed was empty, stripped of sheets and pillowcases, the duvet folded up in the middle of the mattress. Alex shook her head is disbelief, he couldn't have….could he? She walked over to the wardrobe and flung it open – empty. Bathroom cabinet – empty. She found the used towels and sheets bundled into the laundry bin. She slumped down on to the bedroom floor, leaning her back against the bed and stared into space. Where had he gone? She didn't blame him for leaving, she thought, leaning her head back on the matress. She felt wrung out, exhausted by it all, too tired even to cry. Her eyes closed, in spite of everything and she slept.
The digital alarm clock on the bedside cabinet woke her at seven. She was lying on the carpet in Gene's room, cold and cramped. She stumbled down to the kitchen in search of aspirin, her head pounding.
She stopped in the doorway, staring in amazement. On the kitchen table was an orchid plant in a red pot. Blazing with colour, it made her heart lift slightly. Her favourite flowers, she had always had them in her rooms at home. In 2008 they were plentiful, easy to find, but in 1980's London, they were only sold in the most expensive shops and florists and there were none of those near the station. She gently touched a petal with her finger, marveling at the intricate pattern of the flower's throat.
Propped against the pot was a small envelope. Opening it slowly, she withdrew a plain white card.
"Rare & expensive, like yourself", she read "With thanks for all your help over the last weeks". There was nothing else, just the front door key she'd given him, taped to the back.