Just wanted to thank Cowgirl4Christ again for keeping me accountable. To clear up any confusion, I don't condone slash- I'm merely making fun of the fake Jaysen thinks he's so hot that anyone, no matter their gender/normal preferences, would like him. Oh, and keep those ways-to-kill-Jaysen coming!

Okay, this chapter is called Legolas' Interlude (And Many Other Things). Be prepared for schizophrenic discussions with one's self.

Hello. My name is Legolas Thranduilion. I'm an uncountable amount of years old and am a blonde elf from Mirkwood. I have been sent on a quest with nine others to destroy the Ring of Power. Among my companions are a wizard, a dwarf, four hobbits, two men and Jaysen. I dislike only the dwarf and Jaysen.

Oh, dear me, what am I speaking of? I love Jaysen! Of course, not in an icky way, but who couldn't find him most charming? He is most lovely, full of laughter and happiness, though my senses tell me there is something much deeper and broken inside of him. But nonetheless, he is always willing to give of himself to aid someone else. Did you see how he gave the hobbits such wonderful shoes? None but the wonderfulness that is Jaysen would be so thoughtful.

No, I truly don't feel that way. I don't know what comes over me when he's around. A glazed look comes over my face and then I feel like total orc feces when he walks away and I am completely drained after a conversation, no matter how short, with Jaysen. I have found myself displaying emotion as humans do and it is irking me.

But Jaysen says that showing your true emotions is a good thing! I shall continue.

I don't think so.

Oh, no matter, I shall!

000

Legolas shook his head and blinked, looking at the ground. He had no idea of what was going on anymore. It did not bode well in his heart, for they were coming closer to Cahadhras and he was becoming ever alert. He let out a sigh.

"Mellon nin?" Aragorn asked, coming up behind him, putting a hand on his shoulder. "What ails you?"

"Nothing of importance at this time. I shall tell you later." He whispered quickly before Jaysen approached them and engaged Aragorn in conversation.

000

My heart is troubled at seeing the look of confusion and slight pain in Legolas' eyes. He tells me nothing is wrong, but I do not believe him. That has always been his lie when he wants to conceal something from me 'until the right time'. Stubborn elves.

Ah! There is Jaysen! I do not like him at all. He dared to steal my lady, though he insists that he deserves her. Truly, how can anyone deserve the beautiful Arwen Undomiel. But Jaysen does deserve her more than me.

Wait! What is coming over me? Arwen loved me first, and my love is as pure as the driven snow for her! I am traveling across Orc-infested lands to marry her, and Jaysen believes that he, some foreigner, can simply swoop in, put a spell on her and she is his! Nay, I shall fight to the end for her! I love her, no matter what the color of her hair or how she talks or dresses. Ever since that fateful date, sixty-seven years ago, I have loved her, and this transformation will not deter my ardor for her.

000

Jaysen sighed as he looked up at the sky. It was a beautiful day. The sky was blue, the grass was green and Dude was moving gracefully underneath him as he galloped forward to scout over the land. Yes, he was delegated the most important jobs because he was the only reliable one for them. He was armed to the teeth, skilled in every area of well… haha, everything!

But Legolas was tagging along, hoping to learn some skills from the almighty Jaysen. He was so inexperienced he was almost tripping over his feet, trying to keep up with his mentor. Jaysen was going at a reasonable pace, but the elf was panting heavily.

"Legolas, would you like to ride? You look tired." He said compassionately, while inwardly thinking 'WIMP!'.

"Oh, yes, please, thank you!" Legolas gushed, leaping up onto the barebacked horse. "But there is no saddle."

"I think they are unnecessarily cruel." Jaysen snapped. "Why would you strap something heavy and large to a beast so calm and beautiful?"

Legolas bowed his head. "I do not know, forgive my foolishness."

The rest of the Fellowship caught up with them, smiles adorning their faces when they saw Jaysen. While Jaysen was not tired, they deemed it best to take a rest on some rocks in the sun before traveling again.

Boromir, Merry and Pippin were practicing their sword fighting; Legolas was practicing his scouting while the others ate the delicious food Jaysen made. Jaysen slowly ate one of the delicious French rolls he had made using nearly nothing at all (okay, he had used flour, water and his special ingredient) while he watched Boromir teach the midgets.

"Boromir, you should move your feet more often and strike quicker. Merry, my friend, hold your sword like you mean it! Pippin, you're doing great, young one." He called out.

"Oh, my thanks!" Boromir said with a nod.

Merry gripped his sword tighter.

Pippin beamed at the praise.

Jaysen grinned in return before his great hearing picked something up. "Everyone hide!"

"Why?" Legolas asked, his blue eyes big and innocent.

"Just DO IT!" He snapped and threw himself under a rock, shielding Frodo with his body.

The Fellowship waited with baited breath for ten minutes until ugly crows cawed as they flew by. They all let out a sigh when they finally all passed and crawled out. Frodo clung for Jaysen, still frightened and traumatized by the event.

"My thanks Jaysen, none of us could have detected it." Gandalf said with a grateful smile.

Jaysen blushed adorably. "It is the least I could do." He said modestly. That truly was one of his best features, his modesty, despite the fact he was just naturally better than everyone else.

Aragorn looked around, his dark eyes scanning the horizon. "Where to now, Gandalf?" He asked, his hand on his sword.

Gandalf plopped down onto a rock. "I do not know, my friend." He said sadly.

The Fellowship fell silent.

"Jaysen?" All eyes turned to the handsome boy.

Jaysen looked up, surprised. "We must go… to Cahadhras." He almost slipped and said Moria, but he wanted a chance to prove just how much better than Aragorn he truly was. What better way to do than run on snow quicker than Legolas?

Oh, yeah, he could do that too.

He was just good like that.