Royalty and Snowmen
Olaf waddled through the main hall of the Castle, happily humming a tune. His small flurry followed him like a pet cloud.
He walked into the recreational room, then exited. Then he walked through the kitchen (causing a few surprised cooks to nearly trip). After that, he walked through the throne room, where Anna and Kristoff discussed having a trip to Corona.
Then he walked through the recreational room again. If someone were to ask the snowman where he was going, they would most likely get a confused look and a non-committal giggle.
Upon entering the library, however, Olaf saw Queen Elsa sitting in her favorite chair, reading a book.
"Elsa! Hi!" Olaf cheerfully said, scooting over to the Queen.
Elsa looked up and saw Olaf. She smiled and closed the book. "Hello, Olaf."
"Reading some good books?"
"Well, they probably don't appeal to others as much as they do to me but-"
"Ooh, can I read with you? I've never read a book before."
Elsa blinked, surprised. "Olaf, you've been in this castle for almost two years. You've never opened a book?"
Olaf gave her a look that said 'oh, you'. "Of course I have."
"Then…wait, what?"
"Well, not too sure myself, but I think I can't read."
There was a silence.
Elsa looked at the snowman in concern. "You…you can't read?"
"Yeeeeah. I always wondered what it would be like! Looking at ink marks, making words out of them, it's so cool…"
"But…but why can't you?"
"Can't what?"
"Read."
"Oh! Hmm. Well, again, not sure, but maybe it's because I'm brainless."
Elsa realized that, anatomically speaking, the snowman was absolutely right.
"Because, well, a brain's important, right? Especially with reading and stuff-"
"Wait, Olaf-"
"Maybe I can make myself a brain with a cabbage. Ooh, ooh! Or maybe one of those cool little chocolate things you and Anna love! Food worked with my nose and eyes!"
"Olaf-"
"Wait, are these even eyes? I don't even know, they're just kind of…there. Like little…round things. That let me see."
"Olaf, I don't think it's that you can't read…maybe you just don't know how to."
Olaf blinked. Then, to Elsa's confusion, he put on a very compassionate face and put his stick-of-an-arm around Elsa's shoulder.
"See, Elsa, I think what you're doing here is wonderful and all, but I heard about this from Kristoff. What you're doing now is called being 'overly optimistic'."
Elsa was now utterly baffled.
"Yeah, he told me it's a serious illness that causes someone to think that something completely impossible and ridiculous is do-able, like making porridge out of reindeer-"
"Okay!" Elsa interjected hastily; well aware of what came next. "But learning how to read isn't impossible, Olaf. It just takes time."
Olaf contemplated this.
"So, I mean, should I get a cabbage, or…?"
"I think you're okay." Elsa assured him. "Just come here a minute."
Olaf obediently waddled over and hopped onto Elsa's lap (Elsa recoiled just a bit, not expecting this). He then stared hard at the pages.
"Okay, so what happens now?"
Elsa began to speak, then found herself a bit hesitant. She had never really taught anyone to do anything before…
"Well…can you tell me what that letter is?"
"What's a letter?"
"Okay…we may have to start a bit basic."
"Oh! I know! Can you read to me?"
Elsa looked at him. Then she chuckled and smiled.
She was reading a book to a living snowman. It wasn't the strangest thing she had done.
"Well, maybe I should pick something a bit more interesting-"
"You thought this one was interesting!"
"Well, I mean, that's just me. I have a feeling you won't enjoy it quite as much."
Olaf scoffed objectionably. "I'm sure whatever book you were reading is both fun and interesting."
Elsa shrugged. "Okay then."
Opening the book, she cleared her throat.
"Archimedes was one of the greatest minds in history." She read from the book. "He was a forefront in the knowledge of medicine, physics, mathematics and engineering. He was the first to calculate the area under a parabola, and the creator of several mechanisms still in use today, including the lever. He was even able to calculate the number pi to a remarkable extent-"
Elsa slowly stopped as she looked at Olaf's face. He looked like he was staring at paint drying.
"Wow." He said in a flat voice.
"What?" Elsa said, a tad defensively.
"It's just…wow. This is amazing!"
"…really?"
"Yeah! I mean, I've never heard anything that can put me to sleep so quickly!"
Elsa's face dropped into a somewhat miffed expression.
"Is this how we put people who can't sleep to bed? Oh, oh! Do you ever read this to Ignus when he's tired? Just two sentences and pow. He's out like a light. Ha! Now I'm making puns!"
Elsa put a hand on her face, rubbing her eyes wearily. "You sound like Anna."
Olaf looked at her expression. His face fell a bit.
"Was that rude?'
Elsa looked up, realizing the snowman's innocence. "No! No of course not, it's just-"
Olaf held his arms out.
"Need a hug?"
Elsa looked at the snowman a moment. Then, sighing exasperatedly smiled and gave the snowman a hug.
"You always want a hug."
"Everyone always wants a hug!" Olaf replied adorably.
It would have been a very pleasant moment had the wall of the library not suddenly exploded outwards.
Olaf yelped and whirled around, as did Elsa. They saw a giant white mound come crashing through the debris.
Marshmallow was wildly flinging his arms around, like he was trying to swat a fly. He was roaring ferociously.
Elsa's panic skyrocketed. "Wh-what's going on? What's wrong?!"
"Oh, not this time! I gotcha THIS time, big guy!"
To her horror, Elsa saw Ignus hanging on for dear life on the snowman's back, like a rider on a bucking bronco.
"98…99…100!" Ignus shouted.
With a great groan of exasperation, Marshmallow's body stopped moving. He flumped on the ground with a very pouty expression on. Ignus hopped down from his back.
"One-hundred seconds! Told you I could hang on!" Ignus said elatedly.
Marshmallow grumped.
"Oh, are we pouting now, Mr. Mushy Mush?" Ignus said in a baby voice. "I deserve this, you know. You nearly broke my arm last time I tried. About time I got to brag a bi-"
Ignus had stopped, most likely due to the fact that he was now encased in about a foot of ice.
Elsa was walking towards them, and every step she took was like a resounding blast. Even Marshmallow looked frightened.
She walked right up to Ignus, her expression like a land mine, ready to explode at a moment's notice.
Ignus' expression, on the other hand, was that of a child's realizing he had just majorly screwed up.
"Care to explain?" Elsa said, in a deceptively even voice.
Ignus looked to his left and noticed the enormous hole in the wall.
"Ah…"
Elsa nodded, glad that he was following.
'Well…in all honesty…Mallow did it."
"GRRMPH?!"
"Of course you did! I wasn't the one who crashed like a crazy person through that wall!"
Marshmallow made a series of quick, inarticulate, and angry grunts.
"I told you to try and shake me off! It wasn't an excuse to go on a demolition derby!"
Elsa snapped her fingers. Once.
The bickering immediately stopped.
"And why, pray tell, was Marshmallow trying to throw you off?"
Ignus cowed.
"…kinda…sorta made a bet with him."
Elsa breathed slowly.
"You made a bet…with a snowman."
Ignus raised an eyebrow. "Don't make it sound weird. You made a bet with Olaf the other day."
"I-that was to see who could do a better impression of Anna! It wasn't to see who could kill the other on the quickest! This is a castle, not a dilapidated house scheduled for demolition!"
"But you can fix it, right?" Ignus asked, with just the right amount of innocence.
Elsa gave him a very fierce look. Then she raised her hand. The broken wall was replaced by a lovely coating of ice.
"That is not an excuse to be destructive! This castle means a lot to me, Ignus!"
Ignus finally had the decency to look ashamed.
"I'm sorry. Really, I am. It won't happen again."
Marshmallow nodded fervently in agreement.
Elsa looked at them for a long time, then sighed and relaxed a bit.
"Fine."
Ignus smiled. Elsa's heart had the nerve to melt a little bit.
He's lucky he's cute…
"But you're going to stay here until dinner! Understood?"
Ignus laughed and nodded. "Loud and clear, your majesty.
Elsa smiled a tiny bit.
"Come on, Olaf. I'll read to you in the other room."
"Okay! Bye guys!" He waddled away with Elsa.
Ignus then realized something.
"Wait…Els, we just had lunch! Elsa? Elsa?!"
The Queen smiled to herself.
Cuteness doesn't solve everything.
Ignus turned back towards Marshmallow. He couldn't melt through the stuff, she had made it extremely powerful. Melting it would require him to set everything in the room ablaze, something he did not think Elsa would appreciate.
And so, he would wait until dinner. About four hours from now.
Marshmallow chuckled.
"Shut up."