Thanks for all the reviews, they literally make my day and every time I see the tiny indicator light of my phone blinking, I hope it's a review alert! How fast can I go from not writing anything in my life except for work stuff, to suddenly being spoiled by reviews! I'm liking this writing stuff, and I have a few ideas on my mind. And who could've thought I'd be able to write hot kissing scenes, because I just reread last chapter, and that kiss was hot!

This is Jessse's POV, hopefully I'll also update Ch. 8 tonight, which should be the last, since this is way too long already! So please review and force me to update!

CHAPTER 7 – JESSE'S SIDE OF THE LAWN

IRON MAN. That's what the press had dubbed him a few years back, when he won the first season of Star Factory. Rolling Stone had him on its cover, and the headline read: JESSE ST. JAMES – THE REAL IRONMAN. Jesse was crossing his arms on the picture, looking cool and defiant. The inside article stated that he was the real Ironman, because he was even cooler than Tony Stark, more mysterious, and that he was impenetrable and indecipherable. The moniker stuck, and Jesse hated it.

PROLOGUE

Jesse had always been a cool guy: girls (and gays) wanted to be with him, guys wanted to be his friend. But he hardly ever went out with girls, and he did not have many friends. He was all business, fifteen going on forty, his mom used to say. He never gave his parents a headache, he was a good, extremely responsible kid that never acted his age. He was talking before he was one, reading by three, playing Mozart in the piano by four, and bored out of his mind by kindergarten. His dad was so proud of his genius kid, that he wanted to give him the Mensa treatment and send him to a school for a private school for gifted kids but his mom refused: her son would have a normal life and a normal education, he could do the gifted kid circuit in College. And Jesse's mom knew how to convince her husband, so at the end, Jesse went to public school to get bored to death. He had a 4.0 GPA, and teachers loved him, but he was different, not the social kind. "He'll grow up to be a sociopath" an ignorant teacher told his parents when he was ten.

But things changed in high school, there were a lot of extracurricular activities he could do, and since he'd been musically inclined he joined all of the music classes and clubs: from trombone to ballet. He weeded out what he found uninteresting, which was almost everything, and stayed only with ballet, piano, and glee club. Only that glee club in Carmel High was more like a full Broadway production, and getting in was very difficult.

On the day of his audition he didn't dance or played the piano: he just stood there and sung "I Dreamed a Dream" a capella, and the director was instantly smitten by him, but never let it show. "Nice, kid." Shelby Corcoran had said. "We'll give you a call."

Of course they called him, but only after making him wait for a week. Jesse took a liking to Shelby immediately: she was the first adult, apart from his mother and his nanny that treated him normally, not with spooky admiration or outright disdain. He liked her. And even though she saw his potential, she didn't let him know and made him work hard.

When he was fifteen his dad was transferred to Jakarta, and he was given the choice of staying or leaving with them. If he stayed, he'd be under the care of his uncle, who could check on him regularly, and the nanny, who was now a housekeeper, would attend to him. He chose to stay, after all, he was closer to his old nanny and Shelby than to his parents. He probably saw the uncle twice, and he used to spend holidays with either Shelby or his old nanny, whenever she didn't leave for Costa Rica, her native country. He rarely visited his parents, who by now had a beachside mansion in Bali, and they visited him even less. When he saw them he would address them by their names, not mom and dad, and they didn't seem to matter. He only called his old nanny mama Estrella, and loved her like the mother he never truly had, and she adored him in return.

Sometimes Jesse lied to both Shelby and Estrella and spent the holidays by himself: he loved the long train ride to New York, where he would attend any show that interested him.

He was the captain of the leading show choir in the country, Vocal Adrenaline. They'd won the National championship three years on a row, and he had been accepted on early admission to all the universities he had applied. Shelby thought he'd go to Julliard or Tisch, but she wasn't surprised when he chose UCLA, he was unpredictable.

The last two years of high school were spent eating, sleeping and breathing VA. He still kept his 4.0 GPA, but VA left him little time for anything else. He rarely dated girls, he just relieved his hormonal needs with almost all of the girls in VA: half of which were in love with him.

And then he saw her, and for the first time in his life he was smitten with a girl. Her name was Rachel Berry, he learned later. He'd seen her before sneaking into VA rehearsals, and a few times at the music store, but he disregarded her as he did every other girl, until he heard her sing at Sectionals. He'd never seen anyone so talented before, so appealing. He pestered Shelby for months to get her to switch to Carmel, she'd be sensational with them, with him. But Shelby kept refusing, until she told him the truth: She was her biological daughter and she was afraid of what having her so close would be like. Until she came up with a plan: maybe if she looked for her things would be different.

Jesse was more than willing to help Shelby: he needed that girl in VA, and he could practice a little acting. So he set out to befriend her, he already knew she spent a lot of time at the music store alone, the rest of the time she was following that big, talentless football oaf. So he waited for her at the store. It wasn't hard to charm her, and he knew by the end of that song that she was starstruck with him. Her enormous talent contrasted with her demeanor: she was confident and insecure at the same time. But he liked singing with her more than with anyone else, and he wanted to spend more time with her every day. He also liked making out with her, she was a good kisser and she unintentionally left him wanting more every time they were together. But she also infuriated him, she was committed to her pathetic little glee club, where she was clearly wasting her talent. He tried to persuade her by transferring to her high, but neither her nor her teammates were too impressed by him. He thought she would do anything for him, but he was wrong, and one day, after one of the stupid assignments from Mr. Shuester, she showed him that she actually didn't care for him that much. For the first time in his life he felt a tightness in his chest, a sense of hurt he hadn't experienced before, a longing for her that he couldn't describe. And that made him want her even more. He couldn't stand Finn Hudson, how could an intelligent, talented girl like Rachel be interested in someone like him, a stupid jock with no talent. Seeing them interact made him angry and helpless: he now understood what jealousy was.

Their fling was short-lived: Shelby had obtained what she wanted, and even that wasn't enough to lure Rachel to VA. He went back to VA hurt and jealous, how could she not fall head over heels for him like the rest? Why was she being so difficult to manage? Why would she choose her little glee club over VA? Why would she choose that oaf over him? Breaking into their auditorium, wrecking their practice room and egging Rachel weren't his ideas, but he was up for them, anything to demoralize the opposing team, which he knew deep down was a real competition for VA. He was angry when they sang, angry when they wrecked the practice room, angry when he coaxed Rachel to be egged. But when the first egg hit her, and then another and another, he became undone, he wasn't expecting to feel this way, he wanted to stop everyone, to take her in his arms and protect her. Was this what love felt like? But this realization came a little too late, and when she defied him to do it like he broke her heart was the last straw, she had broken his heart, not the other way around. And he was angry again. He let her know he loved her while he smashed an egg in her forehead. And he would never forget the way she looked, wounded and humiliated, it would haunt him for years to come.

His actions sickened him, he could not let Rachel get away from him like that, he went to talk to her, to tell her how bad he felt and he was ready to even beg on his for her forgiveness. But when he saw his Rachel leaning to kiss Finn Hudson, he was angry all over again. "The fuck with them. Fuck her, fuck'em all."

By Regionals he was calmer, and he saw something that made him reconsider his stance. The klutz had told Rachel that he loved her right before they started to sing, but she didn't answer him. She even looked sad, like if his declaration of love had come late. He was deeply touched by the emotion in her voice when she sang, he wanted to be there with her, to be Finn Hudson. But the way she looked at him at the end of his performance said it all, she was clearly over him. He couldn't help but look at her again at the end, right before they pronounced VA the winners. And that was that, he left for California and never looked back. He never mentioned her to Shelby, although he knew that they were trying to salvage their mother daughter bond.

College was a breeze, but when he thought the world was his again, Finn Hudson again came to torture him. He couldn't believe he went to UCLA and that he wasn't so talentless after all. And suddenly he felt the urge to seek out Rachel. He knew from fellow performers and even from Finn that she wasn't dating anyone, and he got enough intel from Shelby to know that she was at Tisch. First he sent her a friend request in Facebook, which she totally ignored. Then he decided to Google her, and found out she was making waves already. He found a video of her singing, and he was astounded: her voice had changed a bit, it was deeper, more mature, and impossibly more beautiful, and he fell for Rachel all over again.

"NO" Shelby said categorically. "Stay away from her."

"Come on Shelby, are you going to be difficult too? I could hop on a plane and see her whenever, it's not that difficult."

"Don't you dare to something like that, or I swear I'll never speak to you again"

He knew she was being serious, Shelby wasn't one to beat around the bush.

"But why? What is wrong with trying to contact her, maybe just an e-mail. I really want to know what's up with her, we used to be friends…"

"Not after what you did to her Jesse. She was humiliated, deflated, it took her a long time to bounce back, and even then she couldn't trust anybody, not even Finn Hudson." Shelby said. "She was in love with you, you know, and you broke her heart in the worst possible way. Forget about her, she's moved on and is happy in New York now"

"She wasn't in love with me, Shelby. She was in love with Finn…"

"No Jesse, how can you be so blind? How can you be so brilliant with everything and so brainless about women? It's infuriating to see you sleeping around like if girls were just pieces of meat. Girls have feelings, Jesse. Even the stupid, slutty girls you sleep with have feelings. Rachel was madly in love with you. And you were so senseless that you decided to intimidate her with by breaking into their auditorium before even telling her you had transferred, you deface her school AND smashed a disgusting egg in her FACE, for crying out loud. You knew she was vegan, and to smash an egg to her face was the equivalent of her smashing a smelly turd to yours. And I'm sorry to even use that analogy or that word, but I'll do anything to make you understand how you ruined it."

"Oh god Shelby, I never thought… I never saw it that way. I didn't know…."

"Of course you didn't know. You had no example to follow, not even I could help you in that department back then. But now that you know, stay away from her."

"But at least let me tell her how sorry I am, that it was true that I had feelings for her, that I think I still do…"

"Forget it Jesse. She's moved on, and so should you."

Jesse knew the conversation was over, but he would show Shelby he wasn't so brainless after all. He stopped sleeping around, and Shelby could see he had changed. He never stopped asking for her, and he used to Google her name every other day and let Shelby know he knew what was going on with Rachel. And so Shelby told him about Rachel's big break on Broadway, and how she was going to see her perform on opening night. He was welcome to also attend on his own, since Rachel's dads would strangle him if they ever saw him again.

And Jesse was there to watch her, he smiled all the way from LA to NY. He was excited and terrified to see her, to see her reaction, he even brought her flowers. He was really hoping for the best but expecting the worst. And that's what he got: the worst possible. During her amazing performance he spotted her looking at someone in the audience, he couldn't see whom. But he figured it was her dads or Shelby. Then after the show, after gathering all of his courage to talk to her, he saw her, more beautiful and happy than ever. And when he was getting close to her he saw Finn Hudson. Rachel was holding his hand while guiding him to her dressing room and closing the door, oblivious to all the celebration around them. He could see that she was in love with Finn, and that felt like a bucket of cold water being thrown over him. He put the roses in the trash can and quietly left the theater. What was he expecting? For her to run into his arms and tell her that she still loved him? How could he be so stupid? He hated his life.

Shelby told him that they weren't expecting Finn either, that he proposed and she accepted. It was hopeless for him to try to pursue anything with Rachel, he had to get over her, she loved Finn and they were getting married. He went back to LA disheartened and depressed, this was all his doing, he practically handed her to Finn a few years back. Now it was really over.

Two years later he heard that phone call, and he couldn't believe his ears, she had feelings for him, she wanted him, but it was too late. She was getting married, and apparently what he heard was a drunken rant she didn't even remember. He was positively crushed when he saw her dancing with Finn as newlyweds, and he cried bitterly that day, like he never had before, not even when he found about his parents' death a couple of years back. He was irrefutably alone. And then his Ironman façade was born.

He didn't even want to audition for that stupid program, but Shelby had insisted. He actually liked it and prevailed quite easily, and then the world opened for him and he became a superstar. He only allowed his feelings to show when he was singing, tears always came to his eyes by the end of the song he had composed for Rachel, which he titled "Your Song", his biggest hit, everyone could see that he was moved and shaken by the end of the song, but usually by the time he stood up from the piano, his showface was already on.

He never expected to see Rachel again, he never expected her reaction, her beautiful smile, the way she held him, how she loved her song on the piano, the passion on her voice when they sang again together after all those years. She was married to Finn, but that was okay, he was happy just to see her. After all those years he realized that only being close to her was enough to make him happy.

He promised Shelby and himself that he wouldn't interfere between her and Finn, but then she looked at him and he just wanted to forget his promise. It was hard, the way she didn't pull away when he kissed her hands, the way she whispered his name… But he knew that Finn was her life now, and he resolved that he would do anything to see her happy.

Jesse thought that she would never forgive him after that awful video surfaced, and he knew that he wouldn't be able to wear his façade again, he just wanted to die. The way she comforted him, instead of the other way around blew his mind, it showed him she still cared about him. The way she wiped his tears, the way she kissed him, the way she moved her body against his confirmed that she still loved him. He would remember that night and their performance at the Oscars as the best things that ever happened to him. It was weird, he could see that she truly loved Finn, and at the same time she loved him, and even though he promised never to interfere again, just knowing that she somehow loved him was good enough.

He called Shelby the next day to ask her for dinner, he knew she maybe needed a break from Rachel's dads, who could be quite overbearing at times, and when she told him what happened to Finn he was crushed, he knew that it wouldn't be easy for Rachel to go through this. But deep, deep down he felt a slight, tiny twinge of hope…

I had to take a shot a Jesse's POV before ending this…

If you are nice and review, I'll give you a nice St. Berry ending in return! But I need to know how graphic you'd like it to be. Don't worry, I couldn't possibly write straightforward smut , but if you want me to steam up some scenes, let me know in your reviews and I'll do my best ; )