Little Grey's Anatomy
Lexie sat beside her sister on the stools on the right of the bar of Joe's. Through the years, Lexie had come to the conclusion that there wasn't much Greys couldn't figure out without the assistance of tequila. Though she hadn't said much to Meredith, Lexie had an eerie, albeit ominous, feeling that Mer knew that her little sister was in the middle of a dilemma.
"Two more, Joe," Meredith nodded at the hefty bartender before turning her attention onto her sister. "So are you going to tell me about you and Mark, or do I have to get you drunk first?"
Lexie stared at the blonde woman with awe, "How did you…" Her question faded off into the music and quiet conversation in the midst of the bar's atmosphere.
Meredith gave her a knowing look as Joe filled their empty shot glasses with two more rounds of tequila. Though she was smart and beautiful and generous; most people seemed to overlook the simple things in her personality. People seriously underestimated the knowing powers of Meredith Grey.
"You're not as subtle as you think you are, little sister," Meredith smiled, "Not to mention the whole cafeteria debacle," Meredith clinked her glass against Lexie's and swallowed the liquid whole.
Lexie downed her own shot and slammed the glass down on the wooden counter, "God, I'm an awful person."
Meredith smiled and touched Lexie's shoulder gently, "You're not awful, Lexie. You're a Grey."
Lexie shared a laugh with her sister, before putting her head in her hands, "Is that you're a excuse for everything?"
Meredith shrugged, the smile still plastered on her face, "It's a good excuse.
Lexie looked into her sister's eyes, the same eyes that three years ago wouldn't have even acknowledged her in a closed, abandon room. Meredith was now having a conversation and acknowledging their relating DNA. Meredith Grey had grown. Her shallow blue eyes had conveyed that clearly. She had matured; she was a wife, a mother, a friend, and a sister. The mistakes that she had made and the obstacles that she had overcome hadn't shaken her, they hadn't broken her; they made her stronger. She took all of her experiences and used them to make her solid and resilient.
Lexie placed her elbow on the bar top and her cheek in her hand, "Do you think it's possible for people to change?"
Meredith raised her eyebrows in analysis of the question, "Do you?
Lexie gave her sister a displeased look, "You can't do that."
"Do what?" Meredith asked innocently.
"Answer my question with another question, that's not how this is supposed to work." Lexie reasoned.
Meredith laughed, "Let me tell you how this works, Lexie. I buy you alcohol and you sort out your life without any real help from me, so I ask you again: do you think it's possible for people to change?"
Lexie rolled her eyes, but decided to entertain her sister quips, "You did."
Meredith smiled and nodded at Joe for additional drinks, "I'm still a Grey."
Lexie smiled, picking her head off her hand, and accepting the drink. "So, as a Grey, can you tell me if other people change?"
Meredith looked at her pensively, "Are you talking about you or Mark?"
Lexie shrugged, clinking her glass against Mer's, "Maybe both." They downed their drinks together.
"Well, look at it this way. Where were you three years ago?" Meredith asked, scrunching her face as the hot liquid poured down her throat.
Lexie, again, gave her a look of displeasure, "Here. I was here three years ago. On this exact stool, in this exact bar, drinking these exact drinks. Are you trying to rub it in? That I'm not as anomalous and changeable as Meredith Grey?"
Meredith rolled her eyes good naturedly, "No, dumbass. Emotionally, or psychologically or whatever, where were you mentally three years ago?"
Lexie thought about it intently, where was she? Dead mother, drunk father, estranged and pregnant sisters, unresolved romantic pining, struggling intern in a hospital that idolized her sister's dead mother; some things remained the same. Her mother was still gone, her father was still undergoing a past-midlife crisis, one of her sisters was still pregnant, she was romantically disordered between two men, she was in the middle of her rigorous fourth year as a resident, and Ellis Grey still seemed to rear her prodigal head whenever she least expected it.
But some things had changed, right? Here she was, sitting with a woman who discounted her because of who her father was, having drink and being friendly—sisterly. She was living in Meredith's attic, not sharing an apartment with a man she had spent hours fantasizing about, a man who was now deceased. She had proved her worth in the hospital and was now the most requested fourth year resident in her class. She had made peace with her mother's death and her father's new girlfriend (though she still believed the woman was whoreish). She had found love and life and support; she had found bits and pieces of herself that she hadn't even known existed.
"Well, I used to be bright and cheery, now I'm just like you, just dark and twisty," Lexie joked as her sister playfully punched her in her arm.
"You've changed, Lexie Grey." Meredith reasoned, "It may not have been all rainbows and whatever, cheery and bright or whatever, but has it taught you something?"
Lexie shrugged, unwilling to admit the truth in her sister's words.
"See, it may have epically sucked, but you learned something. You became stronger; you became smarter; you grew. There's something to learn from all this crap that you've been through. You've changed." Meredith smiled, lifting her brow in mock superiority.
Lexie couldn't argue with that logic; for every thing that remained the same, twenty more had changed. Though part of her question had been answered, her mind was still swimming with more questions, more insecurities. "But what about Mark? Do you really think he's capable of change?"
Meredith gave her sister a meaningful look, "Lexie, do you really need to ask that question?"
Maybe she had known the answer all along, he had a kid now, two in fact. He had proven he could be in a solid monogamous relationship with a singular woman for over a week. He had grown-up, made big boy decisions, assisted in situations for reasons outside of selfish gain. Yes, he had changed. But was that enough for them to pursue a relationship together? A future together?
Before she had the chance to ask, Meredith had downed another shot and placed her palms on the bar top, "Look, Lexie. You have two gorgeous men fighting over you. From where I'm standing, it's not necessarily a bad place to be."
Lexie downed her shot, preparing to speak, but Meredith cut her off before she had the chance. "But from where they stand, it sucks." Meredith ignored Lexie's sigh and continued, "Lexie, you're a big girl, you can make your own decisions. You don't need me to tell you what you should or should not do.
"You were always able to make your own choices; you just let everyone else's crap get in your way. So forget about their past, forget about your past, forget about all everything everyone else is constantly telling you. And just choose. Just pick one, pick a man that loves you." Meredith shook her head in sympathy as Lexie stared at her, desperately in need of her big sister's support.
"But what if I choose wrong? What if I pick the wrong man?" Lexie asked anxiously.
"Whether wrong or right, you have to just choose. Because, believe me, it sucks to be the one waiting on the other side, just hoping one day, the one you love will come to their senses." Meredith finished, her hand firmly on Lexie's shoulder in support.
Lexie bit her lip nervously before whispering, "I just—I don't want anyone to get hurt, not because of me.
"It hurts, and it hurts for a long time. But once the pain of being rejected is over, he can move on and then he can heal." Meredith gave her sister a supportive smile, "Just choose, Lexie. And soon."
Lexie sighed, ready for a subject change, "How's the adoption coming along?"
Meredith replicated her sister's sigh of defeat, "Everything is all messed up, I messed everything up."
Lexie's mind displaced all her current battling emotions as all she could do was feel sympathy for her sister, "Mer, you did what you did to protect your child, they can't deny that."
"Maybe not, but they can sure as hell keep her away from me because of it." Lexie's heart broke for her sister as tears came to Meredith's eyes.
"Meredith, we will get you your baby back. There are no parents more deserving and more loving than you and Derek. Is there anything I can do?" Lexie placed her hand over her sister's on her own shoulder.
Meredith shook her head and slid her free hand over the bar, onto Lexie's keys, taking them off the wood and putting them into her own pocket, "Yeah, you can walk your ass across the street and fix your damn life."
The Grey sisters shared a smile as Lexie squeezed Meredith's hand before walking towards the door of Joe's bar.
She found the blue-eyed surgeon charting at a nursing station, he was so engrossed in his notes he didn't see her approach. At his turned back, she debated whether to call his attention to her presence. She took a deep breath before acknowledging him, "I've thought it over, long and hard," she spoke loudly and clearly. She saw him pause in his notes, but he didn't turn to face her.
Instead of being disgruntled by his lack of attention, she decided to take advantage of his current state. "I've made a choice, well it wasn't really a choice, but I recognized—" She took another deep breath, why was this so difficult? She was sure, she was sure she was making the right decision. She hadn't been this sure since she graduated medical school. She was forming and growing and changing and piecing herself together, bit by bit.
She took one more deep breath, "I've realized I'm better with you." She spoke with more determination this time, "I'm a better person with you; you make me a better person. You hurt me. You did, but I need you in my life. Because… because you make me think. You make me work. You just… You make me. So I've chosen and I choose you. I choose you a hundred and ten times over."
She closed her eyes and prepared for him to turn, as he spun around on his heel, she repeated her previous words, "I choose you."