So here's the next Chapter, Chapter 7 ; Acceptance
Okay so i owe all of you a HUGE apology, its been over two months since i last updated "/ and for that im truly sorry, you all give me such great support with all your reviews and constant reading, i know its no excuse but things have gotten very hard over the past few months, with my family & with school, i have all my exams starting tomorrow and they dont finish till we break up for the holidays, as i said before i know this is not really an excuse but i think i owe you some form of explanation, hope you arent tooo mad "/ hopefully my next update will be alot sooner&please keep reviewing it means so much to me (:
SO. last chapter we found out about Bree's Past Family, and thinking about them had shall we say upset Bree quite a bit, we left where she had been restrainded by Emmett, Carlisle, Rosalie & Jasper, and the stroy will be continuing from there (:
As always a MASSIVE thank you to everyone who has reviewed (:
BreeTanner308 - sorry for the wait, and i totally agree complete assholes :L
LaurelleCullen - thank you and please let me know what you think of this chapter (:
ForeverBlonde - what can i say, thank you for everything lately, HAPPY BIRTHDAY i know im extremly late but hope i've made up for it "/ (: x
krazykook - naaa dw about it i got what you meant, and yes they were pretty evil huh? and thank you for your review (:
xxMasonAndAlex4Everxx - well read on and see what she decideds and let me know what you think of how things have turned out (:
nessa1998 - thanks for your review, and agian so sorry for the wait, but hope you like this chapter (:
MissAlyssaCullen - thank you very much (: and i have a question where did you get that little black heart from? iLOVEit. and i cant seem to get it to work on here "/ :L
ZeLuNatic22 - i kinda left you haning agian, sorry for the wait with the update "/ thanks (: and your welcome you took the time to review, its only fair i should do the same (:
The song for this chapter is 'Dog Days Are Over - Florence+The Machine' iLOVE this song so much and think it goes well with this chapter (:
So yeah enjoy this chapter, and review please (:
I laid there with all my new family restringing me; they were who mattered now, the ones who had risked their existence for me.
I pictured myself going to see my past family, how they would react to my now ice white skin and the blood red eyes, so bright they had a sort of glowing brightness about them, they would be able to recognise me in my features but it had been at least a year since they last saw me, I imagined them opening the door to me, my mother would shriek in terror at the sight of me, the first thing she looked at would be my eyes.
I felt myself smile as I pictured the looks on their faces as I would walk in, I wouldn't have a scared expression on my face, they would on there's, that would be what would scare them the most the fact that I wasn't afraid anymore, I saw how they wouldn't try to stop me as I walked into the kitchen, I saw my brother sitting at the table and his eyes widen in shock as I stood in the doorway. I saw my sister flinch as I hissed at her when she would give me a once over with her eyes as she did to everyone, I could see them all cower in a corner as I shoved my hand through their concrete wall, I could –
No.
Why give them the satisfaction of lowering myself to their level, they had made me afraid but I was stronger now, stronger than they could ever be, but I had nothing to prove to them, they were nothing to me.
I laid still breathing deeply letting all the dark and red drain out of my vision it took longer for it go than it had to come.
I saw Edward and Alice stood side by side both as still as a statue with their eyes closed, Alice searching the future to see what the outcome would be and Edward seeing through her mind and also listen inside my head to every thought of mine.
Clearly I wasn't as calm as I thought I was because Jasper pushed another wave of calm over me, the red washed out of my vision fully and things became brighter and more real the dull tinge was washing away as well, I remembered what Edward had said about excepting Jasper's help and the best way to do it.
I shut down everything and breathed focusing on every breathe counting as well how many in and how many out, breaths that is.
"Let her go. She's under control now." Alice and Edward spoke together.
Without any hesitation they realised me. I lay on the floor a few more moments before returning to my feet in one of those I think and before the thought is finished it's happened moments.
"It does take some getting used to." Edward laughed.
"Well I suppose I have a lot of time to get used to it." I said.
"That you do sweetie." Esme said as she came over to me and hugged me tightly.
I hugged her back and thought to myself, if someone I had only just met less than 48 hours ago could show this much love and kindness towards me why couldn't the people I was biologically related to feel the same about me? Wasn't it suppose to be a mothers instinct to want to always be there for her child to always protect them no matter how old they were?
"Yes, but with some that instinct doesn't apply." Edward said from next to me.
What should I do? I thought to him as I released Esme and looked at him.
"It's not my decision to make Bree, it's your choice." Edward said.
But if you were in my position what would you do? I mean I want to see them again just to get the answer but I don't know if I'm ready to hear the answers. I explained.
"Bree I honestly don't know, you'll know when your ready it will just feel right." Edward said.
I stood thinking over what he'd just said did it feel right to go back and cause more pain for myself? Because that's what I'd be doing in truth only hurting myself sure they would be scared and I could hurt them myself but when I get my answers because I would, would I be strong enough to except them and be able to just walk away? At the moment no I wouldn't. I needed to understand or try to understand as much as I can about this whole new life, once I was finally happy, I would be happy eventually I would make sure I would be, once I was finally able to accept what had happened I would then get my answers. I would get them one day, but that day would be when I could handle it.
"You're becoming a lot more rational in your thoughts. But I too agree with that, when you're ready, when you can accept what they might say." Edward said placing a hand comfortingly on my shoulder.
"I'm sorry for my little… outburst I guess you could call it… I just couldn't control myself when I thought about them." I apologised to all the others.
"Bree, you don't have to apologise we all have our moments of anger, and you are still extremely young, and you are only just coming to terms with many things from your past." Carlisle said, moving closer to and smiling, his face showing no anger at my outburst, his face showed no sign that a lecture on self control was coming and it showed no sign that punishment was coming, what it did show was understanding, love, kindness and sympathy, I didn't quite understand where I'd seen an expression like this before. I thought for a moment and realised it was an expression that used to be on my dads face when I'd done something wrong and he knew that I hadn't really meant it and was truly sorry, I hadn't seen that on his face for a long time.
The thought of the good times when my dad would just forgive anything I'd done, I was his little girl and he could never see wrong in me, all that had changed though, so very fast, hitting puberty had damaged the father daughter relationship the most, guys had started to take notice of me and me them and he acted as though I had betrayed him in someway when all I'd done was grow up, like he'd always tell me to do, when he would tell me how childish I was, so many mixed messages were given to me.
His face when I had come home that night when I had made one of the biggest mistakes of my life and had sex with that bastard, in his face I could even see the disappointment not only at the fact that I'd stayed out all night but it was almost as though he knew what had happened and him shaking his head in disgust at me reeking of alcohol, cigarettes and cannabis. He never believed me when I told him I didn't do drugs. I was always a disappointment. With that last thought I made my mind up.
I wasn't going to see them.
I still had things to sort out right now, like my thirst, my self control and more importantly an understanding of this new world.
Maybe someday I could go and see them again but for now I couldn't it hurt just thinking about them, I looked back at Carlisle and saw that look on his face still, of understanding.
"Why couldn't he have just understood?" I spoke out loud.
"What do you mean Bree?" Carlisle asked before anyone else responded.
"My Dad. Why couldn't he just except that I was sorry, that I'd made a mistake and forgive me like he'd always done?" I asked.
"He had his reasons Bree, now I in no way agree with his actions, but you came home as his pregnant fourteen year old daughter, you have to see where his concern lied." Carlisle said to me.
"I know I done wrong but I wasn't expecting him to just except it, but he didn't even try to, he acted as though I'd betrayed him, I hadn't though, I'd made a mistake, he wasn't exactly perfect was he!" I found my voice rising till I was shouting at the end.
I breathed deeply trying to calm myself. Why was this so hard?
Although I had to admit this wasn't as bad as it had been when I had first been changed, there was no reasoning at all, the anger would just consume my entire body and I would be filled with rage and poison in every thought I had, I hadn't spared one thought for my family till I met the Cullen's, they seemed to actually care and I now knew that they really did care about me, with this thought both mine and Edwards faces lit up with a smile.
"Finally you realise." Edward said a warm smile on his face, I took a moment to take him in, my new brother, he showed all the signs of a vampire but there was a humanness about him, his eyes obviously, then you had his movements everything was at the same pace as a humans, even the way he stood I felt the need to stand straight well I didn't really feel it, it was just how my body was I had made no decision to stand like this but I suddenly realised that I was stood as though I had a rode strapped to my back holding me completely upright, whereas Edward was stood straight too but he had his body more softened, he wasn't stood as ridged, he was graceful and fluid even in stillness, I realised it wasn't a vampire thing well it might have been but all the vampires I knew, minus the Cullen's, had appeared graceful yes but not like Edward, I suppose it must be a Cullen thing.
"It probably is." Edward laughed.
"Will I….?" I trailed off.
"Of course you will, you've only ever been around newborn vampires all vampires either after they have more control or more of an understanding can fully retain what you would 'graceful' you pick it up quite easily, try it. Relax your shoulders, think as human as you can." I did as I was told.
"There I can see it in your mind how you would stand when you were human, sounds weird I know before you say, but turn your body more to the right yeah lean back ever so slightly on your right foot and turn your left foot out." Edward instructed, I had no idea what he hoped to achieve by this but I done as he said.
"There, you're standing exactly how you would when you were human; it's not as hard as you think." He told me with a smile.
"What do you mean; I didn't ever stand like this. I would just stand." I said completely confused.
All the Cullen's laughed at my last comment. For some reason it made me slightly angry how could they laugh it's not my fault I didn't understand.
Edward, upon hearing my thoughts, stopped laughing immediately and the others noticing his sudden halt and how he was watching me they stopped just like he had done, I felt Jasper send calm my way, and it worked instantly and was gone within moments, I guess now that I knew how to except the calm more easily the quicker it would help me.
"Bree, we laughed because we all know exactly how you feel. And exactly what you're thinking, in fact most of us were actually thinking about when we had tried to get Emmett to stand 'human' he was the funniest." Edward told me.
"Yeah trust Bree I know how you feel, its confusing right, you think you just stand and that's all there is too it but I hate to say this and like don't freak on us again, but… your not human anymore you're a different species and our species is different from human however much we may appear to be the same were a predator in our own right, and for those of our kind who want to live a life as close to a humans as possible we have to teach our bodies, train them in a way to become more humanlike. How can I explain this… right you know how when you were human and you would like be told to stand straight and how it would help your posture and how your not to slouch when you sit, well you would have to work at like trying to get that right wouldn't you? Well the same thing applies with this, like you just have to keep trying, and the only reason why we can act so human is because all of us are over 80 years old." Emmett told me laughing.
I tried again how Edward had said for me to stand; I turned slightly to the right and leaned back on my right foot I placed the lightest amount of pressure back onto my right foot and the floor dented under what I had thought was a light touch I recoiled instantly standing back up straight to what my body was simply telling me to do.
"I'm sorry, I tried to lean just a little but everything is just so… breakable." I said looking down in shame, I couldn't even try to stand human without denting the floor, yeah way to go Bree your really making a great job of trying to be human.
"Don't think that way Bree, as Em said we've just had a lot of practice and you are a lot stronger than any of us." Edward told me.
"And the first time you tired you didn't dent the floor." Jasper told me kindly. "You just need more practice."
I nodded, and tried again I leaned back on my right foot again analysing every ounce of pressure till I had my foot flat and the floor stayed where it was, a smile light up my face, would you call that control? I asked Edward.
"Yes, but you had to put a lot of thought into it, the next step is to be able to do it without concentrating as much, but you will probably have to wait until all the new blood is out of your system fully, and the strength wears off." Edward explained.
"But you can still start helping me now right, I mean I have to look as human as possible for the wedding right." I said to him.
The others were quite, and I looked around the room in confusion, Rosalie moved to my side in a very un-human way and took my hand.
"Bree, as much as it would be wonderful for you to be there, there will be so many humans around you, and we cant afford for anyone to see you out of control, and the only vampires there will be us and some friends from Alaska." Rosalie told me.
I felt my face flash a hurt look, I knew it wasn't their fault; they would want me to be there as well, hopefully.
"Of course I want you to be there Bree; your family now, as we've already said, and you know we care, but we cant risk it." Edward told me.
"It's fine. I understand." I said quietly, I sounded unconvincing even to my own ears.
I saw Edwards face and he looked to be having a hard time his face a mask of concentration but also showing thought and indecision. He looked back at me and sighed.
"Okay Bree here's the deal. We will consider you coming to the wedding but you have to be with at least three vampires at all times, you could maybe come to the reception because everyone will be part of the actual wedding." Edward said.
"I promise I will try, and I will make the effort to keep my blood lust under control, I would never want to ruin your wedding and I don't want to be that monster anymore." I told them all.
"We know that Bree, we just have to make sure you're safe, we want to protect you, and we know how much it would upset you if you did harm a human." Esme told me.
"But I refrained from killing those people in the forest when we met with the wolves, if I get more practice, wow that sounds weird practice at not killing people." I said frowning slightly.
"We all agreed it was remarkable that you refrained for even starting to go after the humans and of course that is a huge improvement for you, but I suppose we don't want to risk it we can of course 'practice' but only with human blood not with actual humans." Carlisle explained to me.
"Okay, I can do that, will any of the wolves be at the wedding though? I mean it would be kinda weird to see them in human form? Form that is what you'd call it right?" I asked.
"Yeah, their human form, I will admit it is odd seeing them in human form after knowing what they can do, they are all extremely young still but because of this wolf gene they grow at an extreme rate in the space of about a few weeks maybe a month." Edward told me.
"Really? So how old was Seth?" I asked.
"Well believe it or not, Seth's only fifteen, but in his human form he looks closer to about twenty, twenty three but I suppose you could say his nature gives his age away, but I think he is just genuinely a good kid." Edward told me.
"Wow, he's younger than me." I stated.
"Yeah and he's not the youngest, Brady and Collin are only thirteen, their nearly fourteen." Edward told me.
My eyes widened at this, they had been drafted into this war so young, I mean I know I'm only sixteen, and this wasn't my choice to make, I never wanted this, but they too didn't have a choice, and they were younger than me, I could hardly believe it.
"I know it's a lot to take in. I'm sure once you get to know them though you will see how they truly don't feel as though they've been drafted into a war as you put it, for the majority of them it gives a sense of belonging, a family and also the speed the strength the freedom of sorts." Edward explained.
"What do you mean by how she gets to know them?" Rosalie demanded her face harsh as she questioned Edward, I was confused.
"Well with our alliance more firm with them and obviously with Carlisle helping Jacob, and then we have how the wolves seem curious about Bree and how she can become more humane, I believe our friendship with the wolves will slowly increase, sorry to say that Rosalie but its for the good of this family." Edward told her.
"What do you mean their curious about me?" I asked.
"They are curious to see how your behaviour will change, they see how you stopped your attack on us but they still see how your new and therefore still a danger, they do see us a danger but what with the treaty some trust us more, but they saw you run from the humans in the forest something they truly weren't expecting, and they see how we are, and how we can resist temptation and how Carlisle is a doctor around blood constantly and never has drunk human blood." Edward explained.
"Would I be aloud round them, I mean they are actually really interesting like not in science experiment type interesting but like wow how they can totally shift the form their in like at will, or would they hate me?" I asked.
"Well Seth seemed to like you, not that I can think of one person he wouldn't like, I'm sure he would be more than happy to spend some time with you helping you adjust to this world." Edward told me.
I smiled; Seth had seemed really friendly when I had met him yesterday, I had already voiced this to Edward in the clearing and he'd agreed with me, maybe the wolves weren't as bad as I thought.
"You and Seth would probably get on, but we also need to sort out the paperwork." Edward said.
"Paperwork?" I asked confused.
"I can get all your records within a matter of days, soon the story will be let out about how you're living with us now, and were going to need proof and obviously the paperwork that covers it all." Jasper told me.
"So am I going to have to go somewhere for all that?" I asked.
"No, Alice will just take a few pictures, one for your passport and one for your drivers licence, and any preference on a middle name? And I also assume that you wish to keep your first name right?" Jasper asked.
My mind rushed around, I hadn't even begun to think about the possibilities of any paperwork anything that proved who I was. I thought about what Jasper was saying I could become whoever I wanted from now, he hadn't exactly said this but I could change my name, no one would ever find me not that anyone would try but still, Bree Tanner would have disappeared from the face of the earth without a trace. I was saying goodbye to that person, sure there would always be parts of her still within me and I wanted many of my characteristics to return, I would always remember certain things and I never wanted to forget them, but this was my new start, my chance to be known by no one and to recreate myself, something I had longed for as a human, it was becoming a reality.
"Yes I want to keep Bree, no middle name, and can I be a Cullen?" I asked nervously, I know that the Cullen's had said they would except me into their family, but this was the first time I had asked them outright about it, a part of me knew they would except me but part of felt as though I would be rejected again like I had been by my Past Family.
"Certainly, I thought we'd made it clear, you are a Cullen." Carlisle told me.
I smiled widely at that, the feeling of acceptance washed over me like a warm sea; it was comforting and full of love. Upon seeing my face Esme came to me and took my hand, Carlisle wordlessly walked and took my other hand in his, Rosalie, still in front of me, placed one hand on my shoulder a beautiful smile lighting her face as well, Edward, as close to me as always, placed his hand on my arm under Rosalie's hand, Alice danced forward and held my arm like Edward had, Jasper came and placed his hand on my shoulder and nodded at me his eyes showing true happiness and finally Emmett came over a grin on his face and it wasn't in a joking way his face was smiling so sincerely at me it brought tears to my eyes as my new brother walked round me, stood behind Esme and placed a hand on my back.
I looked at them all and each one of their faces shone with such happiness and love I couldn't believe they were looking at me, Edward upon hearing my thoughts nodded as though confirming the looks were for me, they gave me hope.
Maybe just maybe I could have a life with my family.
My new family.
And they wouldn't be The Cullen's.
Because I'm one too now.
I'm a Cullen.
I'm Bree Cullen.
So Bree's been accepted into the family completely now (: All seems to be going well for her right ? But how long will it stay that way ? Unfortunatly i doubt it will last that long, what with the Wedding and many other obsticales in the way... A new friendship may even be on the cards with Seth. So any ideas on whats going to happen in the next chapter ? As you should all know by now any suggestions are serisouly apriciated and yeah iLOVE hearing what you all think about the stroy and the characters (: So please review it would mean alot (: Holly Ox