AUTHOR'S NOTES: I'm back from my trip, people! Back to my routine and that includes my fanfiction routine. I wrote more during this vacations than I had in months and that's the only good thing that happened at all, but what's written unfortunatelly doesn't type itself so... I'll continue updating once a week, hope you'll enjoy and leave me some inspiring reviews! ;)

Chapter VI: Doubt

After our little trip to the museum both, Shizuru and I, we engrossed with our jobs, I didn't see much of her that week and the only thing I heard, from Mary, was that the Osgood trial was going to be on Friday and that my friend was dedicating all her strengths to it, I prayed, to anyone who'd hear me, that she succeeded.

I've always been a person of science but also believed in the existence of something beyond our knowledge, whatever it may be. My faith must not have been enough though for Friday after dinner, as I read a long and boring book my boss had suggested me, a pale, defeated looking Shizuru entered the living room and collapsed on the nearest chair.

She didn't seem to have seen me and as much as I wanted to say something I kept it to myself and waited, hiding behind my book as I watched her closely. Her wine colored eyes were serious as she started studying her hands; she frowned and let her hands fall on her lap as her face settled for a hopeless expression.

"I…" she started suddenly, still not looking at me. "I ruined it."

"Oh, come on, Shizuru… You can still appeal, can't you?" I laid the book aside.

"It won't help matters in the least… The judge who got our case, despite being just, is one of the most homophobic persons I have ever known." she got up and walked past my armchair stopping by the book shelf as if she were studying the volumes' titles.

"Then it's not your fault." I said twisting my neck so that I could see her; she turned around, her eyes seeing beyond the walls of the living room.

"I've been distracted too…"

"Of course, you've been distracted! You've barely slept this week; I can hear you pacing at night. I told you I could get the drugs…"

"You don't understand a thing, do you?" her eyes were fixed on mine as she snarled that.

"Sh-Shizuru…" I managed, as surprised as I was but she seemed to be even more surprised than me for she covered her mouth with a shaking hand.

"I'm sorry, Natsuki… I…"

"It's okay." I smiled reassuringly as I got up and approached her.

"No, it's not. I shouldn't have yelled at you, it's not your fault. It's just that… What's going to happen if I fail? I'll have ruined my client's reputation and won't even have given him his children…"

"Shizuru, calm down…" I laid my hand on her shoulder. "You have to be positive right now, for your own good and for your client's."

"You're right…" she sighed and I finally saw what looked remotely like a smile grace her gentle features, I couldn't help but to smile myself, a big mistake it seemed as an uncomfortable silence descended upon us suddenly, a silence during which we found it impossible to look away from each other's eyes.

"Well," I cleared my throat allowing my hand to slip from her shoulder. "I think we should go to bed, it's pretty late and we've both had long days."

"What were you reading?" she pointed to the book I had abandoned as if wanting nothing more than to stretch our little time together.

"Some boring chemistry book my boss recommended me."

"Could I borrow it? Just for tonight?"

"Please, do! I'm sure it'll be a lot more useful to you than to me." I laughed to myself and sat back on my armchair.

"I'll think about you when I read it." now, maybe I should've been suspicious all over again but all I felt was a strange comfort knowing that she'd be thinking about me and, without realizing, I heard the following words leave my lips:

"I'll think about you too, Shizuru."

Shizuru watched me for a few seconds and I bit my bottom lip wondering why I had said such passionate words and most of all how they must have sounded to my friend.

"Thank you, Natsuki." she nodded at me, grabbed the book and headed to the door. "Good night."

"Good night."

The moment she left though I knew I would be the one to pace that night, why had I said that? It must've been subconscious but, again, even if it were, something would have to have impelled me to say it… Maybe a hidden desire for women? No, I had never felt that way for another woman… Why would I suddenly?

I was confused, and nothing I thought as an explanation seemed to make any logical sense, so I continued my search for explanations until the sun's first rays had invaded the living room and nearly blinded me.

"You are here." Mary's annoyed voice came from the open door.

"Yes, I am."

"That was a statement." I ignored her rudeness, she was always in a bad mood but early in the morning it was even worse as I had already found out, so I simply ignored her comment. "Your presence here won't stop me from doing my job."

"Good, I never intended to be an impediment to you." my lack of sleep got the best of me as I stated harshly, Mary only raised her eyebrows and continued pushing things aside and lifting them.

I watched our governess moving about and I was thankful it distracted me from my conflicting thoughts; I was dozing when Mary turned the vacuum cleaner on and I almost fell of the armchair.

"Sorry, but you said you didn't wanna be an impediment." she used my own words against me and I sighed, after all it was my own fault I hadn't slept.

"You're up early." Shizuru's voice stopped me from saying anything I may regret. "Oh… Don't tell me you have insomnia too!" she approached, concern overflowing from her words.

"Do I look that bad?" I asked, hiding my concern behind a light chuckle.

"No! Not at all! It's just that you haven't changed your clothes and you're sitting exactly as I left you."

"Am I? Well, that explains why I don't feel my ass…" I grabbed the armrests and pulled myself up, for a moment my legs almost gave in and I thought I was falling but thankfully it didn't happen.

"Are you alright?" Shizuru had obviously noticed my discomfort.

"Yeah, just a little rusty."

"What about we take a walk before breakfast? I'm sure Mary hasn't even started preparing it yet."

"If you had woken up in your usual hours…" the old lady complained but we ignored it.

"Sounds good!" I agreed stretching.

"Let's go then." we hurried out of the house and into the wideness of the garden for a refreshing and mostly quiet morning walk.