AN: Wow, you all, the response to Chapter 6 was amazing! Seriously, I'm blown away. Your reviews and PMs have been so kind and encouraging; you all are awesome. I hope you enjoy the rest of the ride. :)
This chapter turned out way longer than planned. We cover a lot today but it sets up some major plot points. I am so excited to share what comes next!
Possible Trigger Warning & Spoiler - This chapter will include references to fears surrounding miscarriage and child loss, as well as a character's experience with these tragedies within their family. These references are brief and not graphic, but address the emotional toll of these losses.
I usually don't give spoilers, but I felt it was important to note that Astrid will not experience a miscarriage or lose her baby in this story. As someone whose family has faced these tremendous losses, I do not take them lightly and would not write a story following a character through that trauma without labeling it properly from the beginning. Hopefully that puts some minds at ease.
Fun Facts - I've received some great questions about the timeline of Astrid's pregnancy, how far along, etc. From here on I will note at the top of the chapter which month she is in to give some context on the passing of time. Timing will be based on "gestational age", which begins on the day of the mother's last cycle - not when the baby is conceived. Full term babies are born around 40 weeks, or almost 10 full months. Confused? So was I. But here is a good source if you need more info: /while-pregnant/fetal-development/
Here is a cheat sheet on the timing of each chapter:
Chapter 1 (First trimester; 7 weeks), Chapter 2 (First trimester; 7 weeks - 2 months), Chapter 3 (First trimester; 2 - 3 months), Chapter 4 (First trimester; 3 months), Chapter 5 (Moving into second trimester; 3 - 4 months), Chapter 6 (Second trimester; 4 months)
As always, review responses have been (or will be) sent directly to registered users and guest responses are at the bottom of the page.
Enjoy!
Gestational Age: 4 months
One-by-one, everyone milled into the clubhouse for breakfast, ripping off chunks of dried-out bread and a few types of fruit that Fishlegs had gathered. With limited travel off the island and traders unwilling to risk their waters, meals were becoming more simple; based around whatever rations remained or grew locally.
The room was nearly silent as they topped their plates, exchanging only nods and tired grunts in greeting. What little sound did fill the space evaporated when Hiccup and Toothless entered, the former trying to hide how acutely aware he was of the tension. Casting a defiant glare, Snotlout huffed as he grabbed his plate and exited the building, opting to sit on the edge of the platform. The twins exchanged a glance, ending with Ruffnut tilting her head towards the door and following him outside. Astrid watched the scene unfold from the corner of her eye as she spread some yak butter on a roll. She pretended not to notice as Hiccup avoided glancing over his shoulder at the sudden burst of laughter from the trio. He kept his gaze ahead as he briskly walked past the table of food, snagging an apple before sitting at the ledge of the furnace.
"Just like the good ol' days", he muttered to Toothless, who settled next to him after returning from the dragon's communal bucket of fish. The dragon crooned in sympathy, giving Hiccup's arm a supportive nudge with his nose. The young man gave a weak smile in appreciation, half-heartedly running his hand behind Toothless' ear. A slight shift in the Night Fury's eyes drew Hiccup's attention to Fishlegs, who stood with plate in hand as he stared at the seat next to them with uncertainty. The corner of Hiccup's mouth tugged up into a faint smile.
The blonde did not return the gesture, instead pressing his lips in thought. He barely noticed Meatlug as she began to happily plod towards Toothless. She soon stopped, realizing her rider's hesitation. Fishlegs seemed conflicted as he glanced out the door towards the rest of their team and then back at Hiccup, shifting uncomfortably.
Hiccup's smile slowly faded, and with every passing second, he felt increasingly slighted.
Finally allowing himself to release a deep breath, Fishlegs gave Hiccup a sad nod, then turned to walk outside with a confused Meatlug in tow.
Hiccup groaned, shaking his head. As far as the team was concerned, he really was starting back from scratch. Discouraged and absorbed in his thoughts, he was surprised by the sudden clatter of a plate landing heavily next to him, followed quickly by a second plate placed directly in front of his downcast face. He looked at the assortment of buttered bread and berries before turning his head to watch Astrid as she slid into the seat next him.
"That", she chided, pointing at the meager apple in his hand, "is not enough to eat." She then nodded her head towards the plate pointedly, urging him to eat.
Hiccup smiled weakly. "Thank you", he replied quietly, grabbing a single berry and popping it in his mouth. His eyes momentarily flickered towards the door at the sound of Snotlout's voice. "Surprised you don't want to sit with the cool kids."
Astrid raised an eyebrow, turning her head to glance outside where the rest of their team sat with their legs dangling over the edge. Fishlegs held his hands protectively over his face, trying unsuccessfully to block a roll thrown by Snotlout. It ricochet off his helmet, and smacked a cackling Ruffnut in the face. As her assailant burst into laughter, she launched herself over her brother in retaliation, trying to shove the stale roll into Snotlout's mouth as he screamed. Astrid looked back at Hiccup, lip curled in distaste. "I don't want to live in a world where they are the cool kids."
Hiccup gave a choked laugh as he swallowed, nodding shallowly. "Fair enough."
As he poked at his plate, choosing to let silence sink in, Astrid chewed as she looked around the room. Stormfly was caught in a game of tug-of-war with Barf, each yanking on an end of the last fish. Belch suddenly darted between them and snagged it, quickly swallowing as Barf looked on, satisfied. Stormfly squawked and reared-back in offense. Astrid made a mental note to sneak the Nadder some of the remaining strips of dried chicken she kept on hand, once they were out of Tuffnut's sight. Her gaze then fell on Hookfang, who rested on the cool ground as he watched his rider intently. It was odd to see the aloof Monstrous Nightmare being so attuned to Snotlout. As far as she knew, he hadn't thrashed or burned his rider even once since Hiccup's latest blow-up.
A quiet cough drew her attention back to Hiccup, who appeared to be very uncomfortable. "Hey, um", he began shakily, hand traveling to the back of his neck. "Since it's just us, I wanted to apologize for last night. After all…" he waved dismissively in the direction of their teammates, "that, I just needed to shut my brain off for awhile. Didn't think I'd be seeing anyone for the rest of the night."
Swallowing another bite, Astrid tried to hide an amused smile. "You kicked Snotlout off the team and you're apologizing to me for a kiss?" Sleep deprivation was making her thoughts more random as of late, and she was finding humor in the smallest things. There was something hilarious about Hiccup's embarrassment over a closed-mouth kiss when the product of their more scandalous indiscretions was slowly growing right next to him. The gods had a really sick sense of humor.
The young man shrugged, hands fidgeting. "I can feel bad about multiple things", he mumbled ruefully. "Point being, I'm sorry it happened."
Astrid tried to ignore a subtle sting of insecurity. "Wow", she laughed lightly, "was I that awful?"
Eyes wide, Hiccup's head shot up. "What? "No!", he quickly insisted, worried that he had unintentionally offended. As she snorted at his reaction, relieved by his response, he visibly relaxed. Continuing to poke at his breakfast aimlessly, Hiccup lowered his voice. "I just can't imagine you planned on having a drunk try to shove his tongue down your throat that night."
"Eh", she shrugged casually, genuinely nonplussed. "You weren't that bad. Tipsy, at most." She replayed the previous day's events as she removed a small stem from a berry. "I'm honestly glad you could relax for a bit."
Though he nodded in agreement, Hiccup remained shame-faced. "Yeah, but I put you in a weird spot", he acknowledged, "you know, having to step in because I wasn't thinking straight." He looked over at her sheepishly. "Thank you for doing that, by the way. In that...mindset, I doubt I would have."
As she opened her mouth to tease him about his bashfulness, a loud, nasally voice abruptly rang from outside. "And you're grounded! And you!" Astrid snapped her head over in time to see Snotlout dramatically pointing to his chortling teammates as the fingers on his other hand pinched his nose. "Who else wants to be grounded?!"
Ruffnut's hand shot up into the air, beaming with mock excitement. "Ooh, ohh, I do!"
"Then you're grounded!", Snotlout exclaimed, jabbing his finger towards her. "You're all grounded!" Their laughter grew, causing him to grin widely.
"I dunno, "Hiccup"", Tuffnut drawled with a smirk, digging his pinky into his ear. "Gonna be kinda hard to find Viggo if none of us can fly."
Pretending to pause in thought, Snotlout acted surprised. "Aw, shucks, I should'a thought of that!", he exclaimed, then drove his thumb into his own chest. "Guess I'm grounded too!"
His audience howled without shame, throwing in their own barbs and egging each other on. Even Fishlegs snickered along, though he warily glanced towards Hiccup. Realizing they were being watched, he had the decency to stifle his own laughter, tapping his fingers anxiously against his knees as he looked away in embarrassment.
Astrid frowned at the display, looking back at Hiccup with sympathy. He didn't see her expression, his shoulder raised and rigid as his head dipped down. "I cannot wait until there is a large swath of ocean between me and him", he growled under his breath, glaring down at his plate as he pushed it away.
Moving her own plate aside, Astrid set her elbows on the ledge. Her lips pressed together as she carefully considered her next words. "Hiccup", she sighed. "I get why you're mad. Snotlout shouldn't have said what he said; it was awful." She threw a critical glare over her shoulder towards the man in question. "It probably doesn't help that he's still being an ass." Looking back at Hiccup, noting his fixed gaze on his hands, she steeled herself. "But to be fair, can you really blame him for being upset? You're sending him home, away from all his friends. And you're taking his dragon away from him." Another disapproving glance was shot towards the door. "Yeah, he's choosing to deal with it by acting like the world's most obnoxious child, but it's because he's angry. Any of us would be."
Hiccup bit the inside of his cheek, trying to keep his temper in check. "You know", he muttered, turning his head away from her. "I remember when you used to be on my side."
Exhaling deeply as she rolled her eyes, Astrid reached over to firmly grab his shoulder, gently turning him to face her. As he continued to avert his gaze, as he often did when he was feeling cornered, she moved her head until their eyes connected. "I still am", she insisted with earnest. "I still stand up for you, and make excuses for you. And I will still tell you when you are wrong."
He held her gaze, deepening his frown. "Yeah, you've never hesitated to do that", he grumbled.
Astrid could feel the edge of her patience being picked at. "At least I point out your flaws in private", she replied as she released his shoulder. Her voice was surprisingly gentle, though tinged with hurt. "No one likes to be called out in front of others."
Hiccup parted his lips to retort, but couldn't justify a response. His mouth clamped shut as he looked away, brow heavy with frustration but with doleful eyes.
Watching his expression closely, Astrid turned back towards her plate, reaching to grab a berry between her fingers. "You wanted honesty", she reminded.
They sat in uncomfortable silence, neither wanting to speak but still hesitant to separate. It was a stalemate they found themselves in from time to time, usually after carefully confronting the other. One would be upset, though begrudgingly knew it was for their own good. The other would stay close, as if to prove that their actions were genuinely motivated by care. As the accused began to recognize the part they played, guilt would begin to seep in. At that moment they appreciated having the other nearby. It was an unpleasant exercise that ultimately allowed them to walk away better, as a couple and as individuals.
Now both sat in their respective thoughts, absorbing and processing all that was said. Each silently wondered if their actions would have the same outcome in this new world.
The sound of heavy steps caught Astrid's attention, prompting Hiccup to glance up as well. They watched as Fishlegs quickly approached the clubhouse. He paused before crossing the threshold, finding himself the focus of his teammates' critical stares. Even Toothless had his ears down, giving the young man a hard glare.
Fishlegs cleared his throat awkwardly, beginning to wilt under their scrutiny. "The Chief's here", he informed quickly, looking Hiccup for a mere second before hurrying out of the room.
Closing his eyes in exasperation, Hiccup sighed deeply as he stood. He did not need this. Not right now.
Hiccup stepped out into the sun's bright rays, shielding his eyes with his hand as he looked over the ocean. The familiar form of his father perched atop a Rumblehorn drew nearer. Both rider and dragon were an intimidating sight on their own; together they were a single formidable entity. This was not lost on Hiccup as he held his breath in apprehension as they landed.
"Dad!", he exclaimed with false excitement, walking towards his father as the older man dismounted. "What a very unexpected surprise. What, uh, are you doing here?"
If Stoick noticed his son's discomfort, he showed no sign of it. With a hearty slap on the young man's shoulder in greeting - nearly toppling him over in the process - he smiled brightly beneath his beard as he turned back towards his saddle. "Oh, just hadn't heard from you in awhile and wanted to make sure you all have what you need." As he untied a rope that secured several barrels to Skullcrusher's sides, the chieftain peered over his shoulder at Hiccup. "Remember, son, a chief is in service to his people..."
"No matter where they are", Hiccup recited dryly, running his hand through his hair. "Yeah, sorry for not writing sooner. We've just been really busy", he noted casually as he kicked at a small stone on the ground. "Y'know, preparing to face the Dragon Hunters."
Pausing as he lowered one barrel of supplies to the ground, Stoick turned to look at Hiccup with unease. "I hope you mean to defend yourself from them. There is nothing to be gained by looking for a fight."
Hiccup stepped forward to help move the barrel, though he had to strain just to get it to hover above the dirt as he took careful steps. At one point he started to sway backwards, unbalanced, but was able to recover when Toothless' forehead pressed against his lower back. The rider's cheeks grew red from exertion and embarrassment. "Well", he grunted over his shallow breaths, "they're the ones going out of their way pick one with us."
As Stoick removed the second barrel, Fishlegs eagerly approached with his arms out to assist. "Oh, thank Odin, more food!", he gushed, moving aside the lid to peek at their new rations. He easily grasped the barrel and carried it towards the clubhouse, leaving Hiccup behind with a dejected frown.
Rolling stiff shoulders, Stoick looked down at his son with a furrowed brow. "So they've attacked recently?"
The younger man looked down at the ground as he rubbed the back of his neck. "Ah, no. No", he admitted. "But we've seen them recently; twice now."
His father leaned back a bit, crossing his arms over his chest as he continued to probe. "On their way to attack?"
Hiccup grimaced, knowing he and his father would soon be at odds. "I don't think so. So far we've just seen their lackeys." He looked back, resolute. "But they are definitely up to something."
Stoick hummed in acknowledgment as Skullcrusher brushed against his side, prompting him to provide a rough pat of his hand on the dragon's horned nose.
Though the older man didn't openly argue, Hiccup was very well-acquainted with the skepticism in his inflection. Hiccup sighed, shaking his head in frustration. "Just trust me, Dad. Please?"
The exhaustion in the younger Haddocks voice made Stoick turn his head to examine his son's demeanor. After a beat, warmth returned to his voice. "Well of course I do, m'boy."
"Great. Great", Hiccup dubiously replied. After a few seconds of awkward silence, he glanced back at his father expectantly. As they stared at one another, Hiccup's eyes darted to the side, hoping to subtly influence Stoick to move along. But the man did not budge, nor did he seem inclined to. "Sooo", Hiccup drawled, "yeah, we have a lot to do today…"
"Oh, well, don't let me stop you", Stoick insisted, looking at the Rumblehorn with a content smile. "Skullcrusher could use a rest after that long flight. Please, carry on."
With his lips forming a weak smile, Hiccup tried to force enthusiasm into his voice. "That's...great." As his father turned back to the saddle, he glanced to the side to see Astrid frowning at him with concern. A brief shake of his head signaled that he was fine. Or would at least survive.
Hookfang and the Zippleback then appeared, signaling their rider's approach. "Oh, good, the actual Chief is here", Snotlout announced loudly as he passed, ignoring Hiccup entirely. Close behind, Ruffnut snickered as Tuffnut looked on with interest, both intrigued by the possible entertainment this tension could bring.
"Yeah, yeah", Hiccup muttered dryly. "Don't go too far", he ordered as he followed them, "we have a lot to do today."
Watching the group walk towards the dome, Stoick raised a brow at the contentious exchange. He glanced at Astrid, who shook her head in disappointment at the state of their team. "Astrid?", he called quietly, prompting her to turn her head. "A word, please?"
Giving a brisk nod, she quickly walked towards him, giving a polite smile. Posture straight, voice clear. "Yes, sir?"
Stoick opened his mouth but paused as he flicked his eyes towards Hiccup, who stood with his arms crossed as he directed the twins. The older man leaned slightly towards Astrid. "Exactly how concerned should I be about my son at this point?", he asked, keeping his voice low.
Astrid's eyes widened; she was not expecting that. "W-what do you mean?", she asked, hoping her tone portrayed true confusion. It did not.
A deep sigh rose from Stoick's chest, glancing back at his son with concern. "What I am seeing and what Hiccup is saying do not seem to match-up. Everyone appears to be in poor spirits, and he looks, well...puny."
Stopping herself from reflexively nodding, Astrid followed Stoick's gaze to find Hiccup looking back at them. He looked her up and down, brow raised in curiosity at their hushed conversation before resuming his own discussion.
"It's a tense time, sir", she replied evenly, keeping her eyes on Hiccup. A small huff blew through her nose, discouraged to see him apparently caught in another argument with Snotlout. Turning her head back to their chief, she gave a confident smile. "I think he's doing his best to make sure we're ready for whatever Viggo has planned", she asserted. And she wholeheartedly believed that.
Stoick was silent for a moment, mulling over Astrid's words. "And what exactly has Hiccup planned?"
Another tricky questions. Her lips parted to provide a standard report, but paused when she realized that she didn't have any details to share. "I couldn't say", she replied carefully, "but I'm sure if you ask him-"
The older man waved his hand dismissively. "No need, Astrid. Just curious." He looked back at Hiccup, still deep in thought. "And the latest run-in he mentioned, what exactly happened?"
At this point, Astrid felt in over her head. It was a new and unpleasant position for her, being interrogated without any information to divulge because she wasn't trusted to be involved. And that was an embarrassing thing to admit. Especially to her chief. "Again, sir, I really couldn't say."
Seeing his brow lower, she held her breath as he scanned her features with a stern expression. It was look all Berkians had seen at one time or another, whenever he suspected that there was more left unsaid. And it was never good when anyone was caught. She sighed in resignation. "I've been asked to stay on Dragon's Edge", she explained, hoping it would account for her disconnection from Hiccup's strategy without implicating him.
The man's greying brows knit in confusion. "For how long?"
Oh gods, could he please stop asking more questions? Her breathing hitched, pausing to consider the best answer. "I…"
"Couldn't say", Stoick finished for her, a touch of humor in his voice as he nodded in understanding. "Who else has been asked to stay?"
This was not going well. And she couldn't outright lie. "Snotlout, sir."
Stoick hummed in thought, looking towards his nephew, who was certainly being more aggressive than usual. He visibly frowned under his beard, though it loosened as he saw his son approach.
"Astrid", Hiccup called, waiting to get the young woman's attention. "You're on trench duty."
Great. "On it", she affirmed, though she had to hide her displeasure. She turned back to Stoick as she began to step away, offering a weak smile. "It was nice talking with you, Chief."
The elder Haddock smiled warmly. "And you as well, Astrid."
She held her expression until she turned away, offering a polite nod to Hiccup as she passed. He mirrored the gesture, though his eyes stayed on his father. Waiting until he could no longer hear Astrid's footfalls, he looked at his father wearily. "So, when do we get to talk about why you're really here, Dad?"
Stoick sighed, and gave a slight tilt of his head as he stepped forward. Hiccup followed and quickly fell into step beside him, suddenly shielded from the sun's harsh glare by his father's broad form. It was yet another reminder that no matter how many years passed, he was literally still walking in the man's shadow.
The pair walked slowly, both looking ahead. "The council is very concerned", Stoick began. "You know that several of them think I'm daft for letting you all come out here in the first place, but your reports have not been putting them at ease." He looked down at his son. "And then weeks go by without a word."
Hiccup shrugged, chin up but eyes cast to the ground. "I would hope they would trust that we would send word if anything needed to be reported."
Stoick held his gaze on the young man as they walked. "It's not always that simple, Hiccup. This is more than a mission to many; they fear for their children."
Hiccup huffed dismissively through his nose, though his chest felt heavy as he was reminded of the burden he carried: to ensure that his team made it home. "We're adults now, Dad."
Stoick examined his son, struck both by just how much he had grown and that he could still see the little boy he raised. "Aye, but we are still your parents", he gently reminded. "You'll feel the same, one day."
Though he gave a slight nod of acceptance, Hiccup's mouth tugged into a faint, despondent frown.
Slowing his pace to a full stop, Stoick scanned the surrounding sea with narrowed eyes. "Berk has faced enemies as bad and worse than this Grimborn before. But we did so with the strength of the entire tribe."
Hiccup shook his head as he crossed his arms, finally looking up at his father. "With all due respect, no, you haven't." He could feel his adrenaline spike as he thought of the source of their steep decline. The man whose very existence was slowly stripping away everything Hiccup worked so hard for. "This guy is smart, and calculating. He is ruthless. Typical Viking "hack-it-until-it-dies" tactics aren't going to work with him."
Stoick nodded in understanding, though he didn't look at Hiccup, choosing instead to look back towards the center of the outpost. He noted the other young adults as they trudged through their daily duties. Even from a distance, the fatigue and discontent was apparent. "My sense is that things are not going well within your team", he noted carefully. "Things seem very…" The word that Astrid used came to mind. "Tense."
Hiccup raised a brow in surprise at his father's statement. "There's a madman out there who spends his free time finding ways to taunt us and strikes when you least expect it", he replied, almost amused by the need to state the obvious. "That's going to make people tense."
A deep sigh blew from Stoick's mouth. "Hiccup, you are leading a group of five warriors." His mustache twitched as he reconsidered his choice of words. "Well, two warriors, Fishlegs, and the twins. When your band is this small, it is essential that everyone can cooperate, and be respectful."
"Yeah, I know that", Hiccup assured, using his hand to gesture towards his team. "You should be talking to them, not-"
"Respect goes both ways, son", Stoick interjected. "If they question your faith in them, they will question their faith in you."
Running his hand down his face, Hiccup sighed. "Oh, good", he replied sardonically as he looked away from his father. "More quotes to remember. Anything else you want to impart?"
Stoick raised his brow, taken aback by his son's cheek. "Well, since you asked", he replied, more gruff than before. "From one leader to another, I am respectfully questioning the strategy of forbidding your two strongest fighters to fight."
A quick blink in surprise turned to mild annoyance. "Oh, really? Where did you hear about that?", Hiccup grumbled, casting a knowing glare in Astrid's direction.
Any irritation in Stoick's expression melted into concern. His voice softened as he adjusted his stance to face Hiccup. "I may not know exactly what is going on right now, but in times of strain, the most damaging thing you can do is to push away your allies."
Pursing his lips, Hiccup kept his gaze to the side. "I'm not pushing anyone away", he insisted, making a point to keep his tone even and professional. "I'm setting boundaries, and I have my reasons for grounding them."
"I'm sure you do", Stoick wholeheartedly agreed, almost too easily. His voice then dropped as he looked at his son knowingly. "And are those reasons purely for the good of your team? Or could some of it be driven by personal offenses?"
Hiccup looked up, startled. "Gods, how much did she tell you in a few minutes?"
Stoick shook his head. "She said as little as she could. And what she did say was in your defense."
The agitation on Hiccup's face softened. He looked away uncomfortably as he shifted his weight to his other leg.
Taking in the young man's visage, Stoick sighed quietly as he gently placed a hand on each of his shoulders. He dipped his head down to meet his son's eyes, and spoke very steadily. "Hiccup, I'm not talking to you as a chief right now. I am talking as your father. It is a burden to lead, whether it's a small group or an entire tribe. You have duties, responsibilities.."
Hiccup cocked an eyebrow. "This is sounding pretty chief-specific…", he muttered.
"AND", Stoick continued, raising his voice slightly for a moment, "you have to learn when it is best to remove the mantle and act as an equal. When you are in charge, there will be times where you have to direct others, even friends and family. But you also need to be able to set that aside." His forehead creased as his eyes widened, reliving a moment of fear from long ago. "Believe me, I made the mistake of ordering your mother when we were off the battlefield. You only do that once."
Hiccup felt especially small under the weight of his father's hands. Pulling his mouth to one side, he looked down at the ground as he prodded the dirt with his prosthetic. "I-I don't understand what that has to do with me-"
"Yes, you do", Stoick interrupted, his tone gentle but firm. He pulled away from Hiccup's shoulders, crossing his arms as he thought. "I saw the lass when she came home by herself. I wouldn't have thought as much of it if she had spent her time shattering barrels or hacking down trees; that's just a Hofferson blowing off steam. But she just..." His hand repeatedly opened and closed, as if trying to grab the proper word from the air. "Sat. Just sat in her parent's house and rarely left the entire time."
Through shaggy bangs, Hiccup peered up at his father with a flash of concern before returning to a more neutral expression. "And why do you think I had any part in that?"
Stoick looked down at his son with a piteous smile. "Because I know you wouldn't have let her be alone in that state otherwise."
Hiccup sighed, rubbing his hand over his eyes. He felt very exposed. His walls were cracking anyway so he might as well let them down for a moment. "As much as I wish I could say I have a clue of what is going on in Astrid's head, I do not." Looking back towards the woman as she pushed a cart of supplies, he frowned sadly. "She won't talk to me about it. And I guess that makes me think the worst."
Stoick's mouth was tight as he gave a small nod, stroking his beard in thought. "Silence among warriors is a difficult thing to explain." He then stilled his hand and looked at Hiccup. "How are the Hoffersons regarded?"
The young man looked perplexed by the seemingly random question. "Sorry?"
"When others in the village speak of them, as a clan", Stoick clarified. "How are they described?"
Hiccup still looked confused at where the conversation was going, but considered the many virtues that the Hoffersons were widely praised for. "Strong. Determined." He visibly flinched. "Loyal."
Giving a quick grunt in agreement, Stoick gave a single nod. "Aye, all true, in my opinion." His expression then grew somber, looking towards Astrid for a moment. "But you don't get that reputation without facing adversity. Astrid's family has been through some very tough times, Hiccup." He watched as his son's expression grew troubled. "But they always place the needs of the tribe above their own. Sometimes the only way to do that is to deny your own troubles until you forget you have any."
Flashing another worried glance towards Astrid, Hiccup's brow creased. "What do you mean? I know about Finn, obviously, but what else happened?" The life of a Viking was difficult, and every family experienced trials. The fact that the Hoffersons were notably burdened was concerning.
"It's not my place to say", Stoick sighed, though he seemed apologetic for keeping Hiccup in the dark. "That would have to come from her." He then watched his son, who looked on at the woman with care. The older man couldn't help but lightly smile. "It's clear that you need Astrid, even if you're too boar-headed to admit it right now."
Hiccup shot him a glare of mild offense, though there was little heat behind it.
Stoick continued, undeterred. "But what may be less obvious, even to her, is that she may need you just as much."
The irritation in Hiccup's expression dropped as he considered his father's words. He said nothing in response; only hummed in thought.
With a supportive clap of his hand to Hiccup's shoulder - more light than before - Stoick led them back to Skullcrusher, who lounged in the sun as he rest his eyes. The Rumblehorn roused as they approached, shaking his head.
Noting that they were still alone, Stoick cleared his throat as he adjusted his belt. "I came here to see if the council's concerns have merit." He looked at Hiccup sympathetically. "I'll be honest, I am also unsure that you can handle this threat on your own. We may have to call you back home."
Coming to a quick stop, Hiccup looked at his father incredulously. He glanced over his shoulder, making sure they were still out of earshot from the rest of his team. "Dad, that's not fair. We can do this. We have done so much already and we just need a little more time." Watching Stoick's mouth pull into a frown, shoulders dropping with a deep exhale, Hiccup hoped he would reconsider. "Please."
The older man pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingertips as he closed his eyes, feeling a headache coming. "Send me a report in the next two weeks with your plan." When his eyes opened they fell on Hiccup firmly. "A detailed plan. I'll hold them off long enough to let you try things your way. For now. But this is the last time, Hiccup."
Hiccup sighed, nodding in appreciation. He followed Stoick as he approached Skullcrusher's saddle.
"Oh, I almost forgot." Stoick opened his saddle bag, pulling out a wrapped bundle. "Johann heard I was heading out this way and asked me to bring your last order. Apparently he was too spooked to sail out here."
Hiccup stepped forward to take the materials from his father. "Given all the attacks lately on supply ships, I can't really say I blame him."
Looking at the bundle in his son's arms, Stoick glanced back at his son. "What is all this for?", he asked curiously.
Hiccup shrugged, giving a forced smile. "Oh, you know, just working on a project."
The next week flew by, everyone too busy to notice the passing of time until it became too dark to work. Nights felt the same, as tired eyes slammed shut only to immediately open to the rays of the rising sun. Sleep was becoming a luxury at the Edge, and every second of rest was necessary to keep upright the next day. This is why it was particularly upsetting to Astrid when her sleep was rudely disturbed.
The sound of a hammer striking metal was the first sound she noticed as she opened her eyes. Realizing that the sun wasn't even up yet, Astrid groaned. The noise from Hiccup's forge soon began to fade as she started to drift back to sleep, only to be pulled back to consciousness by a sharp pain on one side of her groin. Her first thought was that she likely just pulled a muscle, a reasonable assumption given how strenuous her chores had been recently. She tried to pace herself and be mindful of her abdomen as she worked, but it was feasible that she could have twist too hard at some point.
Readjusting to lay on her back, she closed her eyes again as the discomfort dulled. Finally asleep, several hours passed in a span that seemed like only a few minutes. But again, she was shocked from her sleep as the pain suddenly increased without obvious cause. Astrid gently rubbed her hand along the source of her anguish, a curved line from the inside of her hip bone down to the center of her pelvis. It was not tender to the touch, and the pressure she applied with her hand did little but provide psychological reassurance that she was at least doing something. The pain was deeper than she expected, far past any muscles or tendons.
What months ago would have been an unpleasant inconvenience now caused a sickening churn within her gut. Annoyance at her disrupted sleep gave way to a torrent of emotions. With each pang she could feel herself having to resist a flood of panic, which in turn delved up self-deprecating doubts. Yet again, she found herself unable to uphold her self-appointed duties and protect someone she felt honor-bound to. It seemed to be a growing theme in her nineteenth year; constantly being reminded of her own limitations and forced to come to terms with the idea that she could not guarantee their safety. How did she hold any value if she couldn't even safeguard the people who mattered most to her? Whether it was her parents, Hiccup, or this fragile being, it was beginning to feel like a losing battle.
With eyes blurred by exhaustion, Astrid stared at the ceiling as she replayed recurring ruminations centered on the result of her failures. About what at times felt inevitable, as it was a threat she knew little about. As the aching ebbed and flowed, she thought of her parents. Her mother. Unwanted memories lately wove into her fitful dreams, where she saw herself enduring the same losses as her parents. What she tried to dismiss as paranoia became more difficult to ignore when she felt her own body working against her. It was too similar to the biologic betrayal her own mother faced time and time again.
By the time Astrid was born, her parents were older than many, and had already faced the loss of several children. Most were never given an opportunity to exist beyond the confines of the womb, while a few were brought into the world only to depart shortly thereafter. It was a topic her parents avoided at all costs, and she would never know exactly how many times they had endured a mourning that defied nature's plan. There was one she learned about only when her mother had had a bit too much to drink one Snoggletog; a little girl born several years before herself who was too weak to make it through an exceptionally frigid winter. The only other surviving infant she knew of was a younger brother, Brandt, a seemingly hearty child who passed suddenly in his sleep before his second year. Astrid was 7 years old at the time, and clearly remembered him. His chubby hands and feet, and infectious laugh. Darker hair, like their mother's, but with her blue eyes. Brandt would never know how much light he brought into their home, lifting their parent's spirits and giving them some of the happiest days she could remember. Astrid would never want him to know how quickly the dark returned with his passing; how it hadn't left since.
As the sole surviving child of her family, she had seen first hand what that loss could do to a person. She had seen her mother cry in the private sanctity of their hall more times than she could count, not just over the loss of her children but anything that was a painful reminder of everything that they could never have. She did not rush with the other women to homes that welcomed new babies, arms filled with blankets and baskets of food. Her father would never cry in front of his family, too proud to tarnish his reputation even within his own home. So he would go into the woods, axe in hand, and be gone for hours at a time. When Brandt died, her father left for days without warning, leaving her mother to mourn with only a very confused little girl to attempt to comfort her. In some ways, these trials only elevated the Hofferson name, as they were paragons of strength and perseverance. They carried on despite their challenges and fought like mad for all of Berk. That was how they were seen in public, though Astrid was more familiar with the broken individuals that they really were behind closed doors. While she knew her parents did their best, they often seemed dead inside, not really living for the sake of living but floating through their realities. Outside of the home they were respected members of their tribe who were unchanged by their tragedies. But once the door closed behind them, there was no one to pretend for. And in the wake of it all was a young girl who had to process heavy concepts on her own.
As Astrid phased in and out of her anxious thoughts, still failing to fully succumb to her exhaustion, her hand traced back and forth over her lower abdomen. Though not yet glaringly obvious by sight, she was past the point where she could deny feeling subtle change in her form. It happened so quickly, almost seeming to occur overnight. For the first time since she was very little, flesh sloped away from bones and muscles, forming a clear curve. Her hand tentatively traveled up her belly, surprised by how this shallow mound was soft yet taunt, with a definitive shape but lacking the structure of the rest of her body. Fingertips grazed over her naval, which she could have sworn was less deep than it used to be. Continuing to move upward, her hand followed a gradual slope until she felt muscle again, just below her rib cage. The top of her stomach wasn't nearly as swollen, though she imagined she still looked like she had overeaten the night before. Her clothes were beginning to feel a bit snug, and she finally had to loosen her breast binding just to function during the day. While she valued her strength over beauty, she possessed enough vanity for these superficial changes to erode her confidence. At this rate, she imagined Hiccup would soon look at her and be especially glad they weren't together. It made her sick that his disappointment in her as a person was somehow easier to swallow when she was sure that he was still attracted to her. But the truth was the truth.
If there was any silver-lining, Astrid had some hope that her efforts to prove her loyalty were helping make-up for her mistakes. Things had been, overall, better between them. There was still a clear barrier, though it was becoming easier to speak to one another again. He even approached her suddenly and announced he was loosening her restrictions, allowing her to fly within the boundaries of the island. Though hoping for the ban to be lifted entirely, she was excited to finally be able to be back in the air with Stormfly. The Nadder was thrilled, and the pair left the ground as often as possible before and after their daily duties. Astrid appreciated how much easier it was to get around the Edge with Stormfly, especially on days she felt sore. It also made it possible to move lumber and other heavy supplies as she spent her idle time optimizing their defense system.
But she was still prohibited from joining any flights away from the outpost, and had no idea how much longer her sentence would be. Despite her persistence, Hiccup refused to give an exact date, only giving vague assurances that she would be allowed at some point. He mumbled every excuse, ranging from the importance of finishing their defense system to not wanting to appear to give preferential treatment. Even when she and Stormfly flew along the coastline, keeping within the boundaries he set, she would often see him watching her closely as he worked. She knew that he had lost some faith in her, but it was bothersome to see just how little he trusted her in any respect.
Still, he was making strides in other areas. It didn't escape her notice that he was making a conscious effort to be less harsh when addressing the team. He still carried the same heaviness, but made a point to pause before lashing out. If someone stepped out of line, he approached them individually rather than dressing them down in front of everyone. Those simple changes seemed to prevent several arguments that could have easily escalated. But their teammates remained wary, and were losing patience at their ever-growing list of chores. While Hiccup's demeanor seemed to improve since the Chief's visit, their workload had also increased dramatically. He was suddenly in a rush to prepare, though there was no indication that they were any closer to finding Viggo or the Dragon Eye. When he wasn't laying out the day's plans and monitoring their progress, he would slip away to pour over maps. In the evenings, Astrid could hear the sound of hammering at his worktable and the smell the forge's fire. It was a small wonder he had looked especially tired lately, knowing he was up most of the night. If it was as close to sunrise as Astrid thought it was, it seemed that he was now getting in the habit of working all night.
Absently rubbing small circles over her belly, Astrid brow creased with worry as she listened to him working next-door. He couldn't sustain on such little sleep. He barely ate. It was not unusual for him to become hyper-focused on his projects, sometimes too absorbed to notice when his own body was lacking basic necessities. But at least when they were a couple, she was around enough to pick-up on subtle signs that his self-care was being neglected. Whether through conveniently making whatever he needed available or directly telling him he wouldn't be able to finish his work when his body finally shut down, he would ultimately adjust his behaviors accordingly. Somewhere along the line she apparently became a safety net for him, especially as his responsibilities increased. There were more distractions and opportunities as he grew to pull his attention from his own well-being, and it seemed that he was no longer simply negligent but was becoming reckless. She had never considered what would happen to him when she wasn't there to keep him in balance. She assumed she would always be there.
Astrid huffed as she recalled hushed and uncomfortable conversations with her mother, always out of earshot from her father. It was one of the few times the usually dour matron carried any energy in her voice. With uncharacteristically hopeful eyes, the older woman would poke and prod, asking about her and the Haddock boy. Were the rumors true? Had he shown any sign of seeking a contract? How wonderful would it be to serve the future Chief as his wife? With flushed cheeks, the young woman would vehemently deny any relationship beyond being friends and teammates. She reiterated every time that she would not be serving any man, ever. Yet as she said the words, she knew it wasn't entirely true. Yes, she bristled at the thought of being a wife, even for Hiccup. And she wouldn't serve him, just as she didn't serve him then. But that didn't mean that she imagined them playing a lesser role in each others lives as they grew. She just couldn't bring herself to consider the details of what that would look like, as she would have to face some very difficult realities that were easier to ignore.
Her mother never understood why her daughter turned her nose up at the prospect of being a wife and mother. It should have been obvious, shouldn't it? She had practical experience with the pain it brought, not understanding her mother's opinion that it was somehow less hazardous than her plans of being a warrior. Physical wounds were temporary inconveniences, and served as badges of honor of a life fully lived. Even if one died, they were praised for their heroism, and if deemed fit, lived forever in the hall of the gods. The emotional wounds, invisible yet pervasive, felt far more grim to Astrid. There was no pride to be earned in carrying mental scars, only in denying their existence.
When all doubt of her suspected pregnancy was set aside, Astrid realized she could no longer act as though what she and Hiccup had could continue unchanged for the rest of their lives. As they matured the relationship inevitably did as well; it wasn't possible to keep things simple forever. Yet the experiences of her youth left such a profound effect on her that just the very thought of bearing a child triggered an automatic stop in Astrid's thought processes. Logically, she put herself in a situation where it could, and did, happen. But logic has little to do with love and lust, a component that a younger Astrid had never considered. The idea of fear as weakness was so foundational to her upbringing, and she witlessly put herself into a situation where she would experience it firsthand. And the fact that she felt that terror made her feel pathetic.
As the painful throbbing resumed, drawing her attention yet again to her belly, Astrid found herself trying to distance herself from her more erratic emotions. She had to function that day, and all the days that followed. Falling apart wasn't an option, especially before anything happened. She did not know that something was going wrong. If it did go wrong, that didn't mean she had to break. And then there was the jaded yet protective thought that suggested it was best if she avoided growing attached. If anything happened then it would be easier to cope with, right? As she knew well from her younger years, the best way to avoid being hurt was to choose not to care.
In the late afternoon, almost everyone was finishing their chores. Others simply chose to walk away from uncompleted tasks as they enviously watched their teammates rest. Astrid was the only one who continued as the sun began to set, deciding that the strain of chopping lumber was better than engaging in conversation. The occasional tugs in her abdomen were souring her mood, and she preferred to be alone.
Meanwhile, the others sat within view at a table intended for outdoor meals. But the area was not being used for leisure, and was instead turned into an impromptu study space as Hiccup deposited books and scrolls on the table. Everyone was handed something to read, instructed to look for anything that he could have been missed during his initial review. Fishlegs was the only one to eagerly accept the challenge, as everyone else openly complained.
Hiccup hunched over the tabletop, leaning over a small pile of maps and marking them. Fishlegs sat next to him, engrossed in a scroll on Viking lore, while Tuffnut sat across from them, occasionally glancing at his assigned book as he focused on knitting. At the head of the table with his feet propped up, Snotlout leaned back in his chair, helmet tilted to cover his eyes as he rested. A small pile of unread scrolls sat next to his boots.
Ruffnut had an open book in front of her that she was supposed to be reading, though she lost interest with two pages. Resting her head in her hand, elbow propped on the table, she lazily scanned their surroundings for any source of entertainment. But there weren't a lot of options, and she had been reprimanded earlier for trying to walk off in search of some much-needed fun. The dragons were always interesting, but she and Tuffnut had already gotten in trouble that morning for trying to tie a boar to poor Meatlug. There were trees...lots of trees. She knew there had to be something to work with there, but her usually creative ideas had fallen flat in the midst of the team's prolonged friction. The only other target she could see was Astrid, who was chopping lumber several yards away. Just far enough away not to hear anything she said. And Hiccup was close enough that he would. Bingo.
A smirk stretched across Ruffnut's face as she turned to look at her brother. "Is it just me", she mused, just loud enough to be heard around the table, "or is Astrid getting a little, um, thicker?" Looking out the corner of her eye, she could see Hiccup pause for a moment, keeping his eyes on his work. With a shake of his head and a scowl, he resumed his charting.
Tuffnut tore his attention away from his knitting, carefully setting the needles on the table as he followed Ruff's gaze. He squinted his eyes, lips pulled to the side in concentration. "Perhaps…", he considered, tilting his head slightly. He shrugged and picked up his needles, straightening out the yarn before continuing to stitch. "Look's fine to me."
Curious, Snotlout lifted the rim of his helmet and glanced over at the young woman. A sly grin spread across his face. "Look's really fine to me."
Though he was oblivious, the others at the table subtly glanced at Hiccup, visibly tensed. Tightening his grip on his pen, he continued to mark the map, leaving heavier lines that audibly scratched with each stroke.
Ruffnut watched his reaction with rapt interest, pulling her lips back into a mischievous smirk. "Yeah, hard to tell", she conceded nonchalantly as she pretended to return to her reading. "I just could have sworn her boobs got bigger", she noted in feigned innocence, raising her gaze to lock on Hiccup.
At this point Snotlout and Tuffnut were craning their necks to see, both receiving charged looks from a seething Hiccup and scandalized Fishlegs. Meanwhile, Ruffnut looked on, satisfied at the results of her work. Her smug expression did not go unnoticed by Hiccup, who glowered at her before turning his ire back to his leering teammates.
With his head tilted to the side, using his hand to keep his helmet in place, Snotlout carefully examined Astrid's figure with genuine confusion. "Huh, how did I not notice that before?"
Tuffnut nodded in agreement. "It does seem like something you would have picked up on."
Hiccup opened his mouth to berate them when Fishlegs interjected, blushing and horrified by his uncouth companions. "Guys! This is entirely inappropriate to discuss! She is our friend and our teammate." As the two Vikings stared at him critically, the larger man nervously looked over at Astrid, placing his hands on the tabletop as he leaned in towards the group. "Not to mention she will kill every single one of us if she hears you!", he whispered sharply.
Hiccup's exhaled in exasperation and relief, glad to have someone else of his side. For once. "Seriously guys", he scolded, "cut it out." The rest of the table groaned and scoffed as he looked back at his map; he was fairly certain he heard Snotlout mutter an off-color name. But they begrudgingly returned to their work, or at least stopped talking as they pretended to do so.
After a few moments of relative quiet, save for the sound of Astrid's axe against lumber, Hiccup found his attention straying from his work. He wasn't surprised that Ruffnut would throw out an inappropriate remark, especially if it had the potential to get under his skin. But he wasn't expecting the others to validate her. What was obvious enough for Snotlout and the twins to notice? He saw her every day and was frankly more familiar with her form than anyone else at the table. Reflecting on the past week, he acknowledged that he had been more absent and saw her only briefly in passing or at a distance. She had been hounding him about lifting her ban, and he consciously averted his gaze as much as possible to hide his own internal conflict. But how different could she look in such a short period of time? Eventually, his curiosity got the better of him.
Keeping his face down, Hiccup discreetly peered at Astrid through his bangs. Actually, she did look a bit different. Not bad. Breasts seemed slightly fuller; hips maybe a little broader. Again, not bad. He stared longer than he intended, watching as she swung her axe. His traitorous brain allowed his thoughts to wander in a predictable direction, sending him back to the days of peering out the forge window. It wasn't until her blade split the log that he noticed her wince. The sight shocked him from his reverie, and he lifted his head slightly as his brow furrowed. He watched closely as she swung again, this time paying attention to her stance and the angle of her grip. Again, she flinched. Something was wrong...
His prolonged gazed was noted by Ruffnut, who raised an eyebrow in interest. Glancing between him and Astrid, she abruptly pushed her bench away from the table, earning a scowl from Tuffnut as the motion jostled him. "Hey! Almost dropped a stitch…" he muttered.
Ruffnut shook her head in disgust at her brother, but otherwise ignored him. As she started to walk away from the table towards Astrid, Hiccup looked over at her sternly. "And where are you going?"
Glaring back at him, she refused to stop and only slowed her pace. "To talk to Astrid", she bit back.
He returned a weary look. "About…"
She didn't bat an eye. "Stuff."
Hiccup shook his head, too tired to walk into another fight. "Whatever", he grumbled. He looked back at his work, though his eyes continued to flick back up, tracking Ruffnut as she approached Astrid.
Glad to be away from forced study, Ruffnut made her way to the other blonde. If Astrid heard her approach, she gave no indication. Either she was being ignored or the other woman was too lost in her own head. Considering the source, Ruffnut figured it could be either.
Leaning against a nearby tree, she crossed her arms as she impatiently stared at Astrid. "I've got a bone to pick with you, little missy."
The gravelly voice prompted Astrid to stop chopping for a moment, arching a brow as she looked up the female Thorston. "Oookay…why?" She had learned over the years it wasn't beneficial to make sense of the twin's reasoning. Best to get them straight to the point.
Ruffnut frowned as she jabbed a thumb over her shoulder at the table of men. "Your boyfriend has been walking around with a giant stick up his ass for months and I don't see you lifting a finger to stop it."
Astrid's forced interest quickly became irritation. She rolled her eyes, turning around to grab the next armful of lumber. "Okay, one: he's not my boyfriend…"
"Mhmm", Ruffnut hummed, unconvinced.
"And two: he has a lot on his plate right now." Astrid placed the next log, standing to wipe the back of her hand over her damp hairline. "He'll come around, just give him time." In all honestly, she wasn't sure she believed that anymore, but it seemed like the right thing to say.
"Well, one:", Ruffnut listed, holding her index finger up as she mimicked Astrid's haughty tone. "Your not-boyfriend is eye-humping you over there, so, I think you have a little more sway than you claim." Astrid scoffed, grasping the handle of her axe as Ruffnut held up two fingers. "And two: as for time, I don't know how much longer we can take this."
Seconds away from swinging her axe, Astrid paused and lowered the blade to the ground. She turned to look at the other woman, who suddenly appeared more depleted than angry. Was...was she confiding? In her? It was rare that they spoke outside of the group, and when they did, it was usually about something her and Tuffnut did. She couldn't recall a time when Ruffnut sought her out to discuss her troubles. She certainly didn't look for her either.
"Yeah, I get that", Astrid quietly empathized. "And I have tried talking to him. Several times." She tried to hide the discouragement in her voice, but she didn't feel like she was doing a very good job. She gave a weak shrug. "I don't know what to tell you", she admitted, apologetically.
Ruffnut threw her head back as she groaned dramatically. "Then make him listen", she pleaded, as though she was stating the obvious. When Astrid responded with a raised eyebrow, Ruffnut shook her head in disappointment. She then cocked her hip out, and flashed her teeth in an attempt at an alluring smile. "Isn't there anything you could do to help him destress?" The grin quickly melted, returning to her irritated frown. "Calm his ass down a little?"
Astrid leaned on the handle of her axe, unamused. It didn't help her mood to know that even a year ago, the other woman would be encouraging her to influence with a blade to his throat. Now, her only weapon was apparently seduction. Nice. "No", she replied flatly. "There really isn't anything I can do."
Ruffnut's brow lifted, blinking quickly in surprise. "Really? So, you really can't fix this?"
Astrid shook her head as she stood straight again, turning back towards the lumber pile.
"Huh." Ruffnut's shoulders slumped as her face slacked to a scowl, releasing a loud sigh. "Well. Damn. In that case, if Viggo is coming to take us all out, I hope it's soon." She started walking back towards the clubhouse, grumbling loudly as she stepped further away. "Whether we go back to Berk or Valhalla when this is over, it's still better than this crap."
Astrid was taken aback by her comment, but understood the sentiment. She carefully glanced over at the table, surprised to see that everyone had left since she last looked. Everyone except for Hiccup. She couldn't see his face, only the top of his head as he leaned over the table. His hands gripped his skull as his fingers moved across his scalp. Whatever had happened before the team departed apparently left him despondent.
With a shake of his head, he stood up and grasped the map he was working on in one hand, a couple of the abandoned books in the other. Before Hiccup turned to walk away, he sent a parting glance towards Astrid. His eyes reflexively widened when he realized she was looking back, but he recovered and gave a faint smile.
Trying to hide her concern, Astrid returned a smile as well.
He lifted his hand, parchment still in his grasp, to give a halfhearted wave before leaving for his hut. Toothless, who had been relaxing in the grass with the other dragons, sluggishly padded after Hiccup.
Sore and uncomfortably sweaty, Astrid set her axe down as she watched them walk away. His moods had been so erratic the past two months. But of all the emotions he was struggling to control, she hated to see him defeated the most. At least with the others there was an energy generated in response - not always a productive one, but he was motivated to react. Defeat instead brought a lack of motivation to do anything other than retreat into his own mind. He became difficult to reach the longer he pulled away, and any minimal gains he had made with his team could quickly fade due to his inattention. The young woman sighed as she considered the best way to reach out to him. She was honestly growing tired of being the only one putting any effort into preserving their relationship - whatever it was - but it was worth it if kept him from isolating himself from everyone. Hopefully she could think of a way to re-engage him; maybe even mend his other fractured friendships.
But for now, she could only think about desperately wanting a bath and a full night's sleep.
Hiccup shut the door to his hut after Toothless entered, then dropped his armful of scrolls and books on his bed. He approached his work table and pulled back a blanket draped over his current project. Carefully lifting the delicate frame of a device in-development, he moved it aside, giving him a wide section of bare tabletop to work with. Toothless stared at the rough contraption, giving an unhappy warble as his ears laid flat against his head.
Without looking over, Hiccup reached into a chest and pulled out several hand tools. "Yeah, don't worry, bud. I'm not working on that tonight. At least maybe not until later." He rubbed his tired eyes and yawned. "Get some sleep. One of us should."
The dragon groaned in dissatisfaction, but moved towards his large stone slab. As he heated the base and settled into the comforting warmth, Hiccup stepped towards the forge and lit the fire. He brushed the palms of his hands against his pants, and began grabbing raw materials to place on the work table.
A loose pile of parchment sat on the corner of the table. Nearly every one was covered in schematics and designs, all drafted within the past few weeks. He leafed through them until he finally found a blank piece and removed it from the bunch. Smoothing it out on the table, he used his right hand to hold the paper in place as he hovered over it. With his charcoal pen in hand, he began to sketch. Faint lines flowed across the page, shortly followed by thicker, more angular lines. He would pause occasionally, glancing at the metal and lumber he had to work with before making adjustments to his design.
As he worked, Hiccup's mind wandered, as it often did. For some time those thoughts primarily centered around visualizing possible scenarios for how Viggo's plot would play out. But tonight he kept replaying the minute crease between Astrid's brows, and the pained squeeze of her eyes when the axe came down. It didn't just happen once, or twice. As soon as he saw it, and paid attention, he realized that every swing ended in that abnormal wince.
She shouldn't have been deconditioned, especially not with the amount of physical labor she had been tasked with. Actually, come to think of it, she had been completing all of the most grueling tasks lately. At his direction. There was no malice in his delegation; he simply knew it was important and that she would get it done. Snotlout wasn't nearly as reliable, especially now that he went out of his way to defy orders. And he had to spend more time training Fishlegs and the twins since they were the only ones who could accompany him on scouting missions, which was proving to be an uphill battle. In the end, Astrid was the only one left to do the undesirable but necessary jobs at the Edge.
Still, that wasn't her fault. It was his problem to manage.
He cringed at the thought that perhaps the increased labor he assigned was taking its toll on her. Past experience proved that she would never acknowledge being hurt and deny it if called on on it. Hiccup reasoned that he would have to find an indirect way to lessen the burden. If his latest idea panned out, hopefully it would.
Taking a bellow in hand, he walked towards the forge and intensified the flame. The growing blaze illuminated his darkened room, lighting his way as he rummaged through a box of chisels.
Guilt was becoming a daily obstacle; one that was only ever suppressed by blindly justifying his actions to himself. Making decisions often ensured that someone would be upset with the outcome. Lately, it seemed everyone was unhappy with his decisions, though they couldn't understand all of the factors that influenced those calls. It was an aspect of leadership that did not meld with his personality, and he wondered how his father dealt with it. Then again, as large and imposing as Stoick the Vast was, no one was tripping over themselves to confront him. It was a benefit of the way the gods made him that Hiccup would never be able to experience. So instead, he had to face the explosive consequences of his decisions, and lose the respect of the very people he had to protect. The way he saw it he had two choices: leave the thankless role to some other poor soul or do what he felt had to be done, no matter the backlash. As tempting as it was to think about simply walking away from the stressors he inherited, talking to Astrid after he blew up at Fishlegs helped him realize the impact leaving would have on others. That he did ultimately care about what happened to everyone on his team - human and dragon. Even Snotlout. So he was committed to staying, at least long enough to deal with Viggo.
So he would have to live with the constant guilt, knowing that what he was doing was for their own good. It was becoming easier to maintain that perspective with most of the team as he was unfortunately becoming accustomed to their scorn. But it was much more difficult with Astrid. She hadn't written him off yet and was still trying to find ways to bring them closer together. Worst of all, her attempts were working. It made it harder for him to do what he needed to do, especially when it meant inserting conflict between them. As much as he hated dragging out Astrid's punishment, he had other motives. Ones that would likely earn him a punch to the gut if she found out. Giving her day-long tasks and restricting travel kept her busy. Gave him time to work, without having to explain what he was doing. The rest of the team didn't care. Though frustrating, it actually suited his plans. But Astrid was used to being involved in any of his ideas. Every time he actively pulled away, it only gave her more motivation to try to bring him back. And of course, once the ban was lifted, he wouldn't have any justification to keep her on the island. Away from what Viggo had in mind. These anxieties reignited whenever he saw her and Stormfly glide along the coastline, placing them out of sight as they traced the other side of the island. It forced his focus away from his time-sensitive planning, suddenly compelled to monitor the horizon for potential threats.
He knew she was stronger than him. Faster, and a much better fighter. But as he formulated plans over the past month, which included considering every team member' strengths and weaknesses, he realized that some of her most prominent attributes placed her at a disadvantage when going against the Dragon Hunters. She was perhaps the most predictable in her attacks, and a quick temper made it easy to throw her off. Viggo was successful because of his ability to outwit those who relied on their strength. Astrid was the epitome of a true Viking and it showed when she fought; but Vikings were an enemy that the Dragon Hunter had ample experience in defeating. Add in her refusal to question Heather's true intentions, and he could only see her being an ideal target.
With a hammer in hand as he held a chisel to metal, Hiccup glanced across the table at his other project. The one that he felt gave them the best possible chance of victory, or at least could reduce their loses. His throat tightened as he swallowed, feeling the prickling of sweat on his neck while the forge heated the air around him. As his eyes traced the form of its design, that familiar heaviness bore down in his gut as he prepared for the unavoidable. Every countless scenario he considered ended very badly for their side. And if things played out the way he suspected, he didn't want any of the riders or their dragons near the fallout. Especially her.
Guest Reviews
Someome: Awesome! Love that you are still enjoying it. Planning on another update next week, so more to come!
Ok: Oh, I do indeed understand, and am thrilled you want to see this story to completion! No worries; every chapter is already drafted so the story is technically complete. I just go in and add in details, adjust formatting, etc. I have no excuse not to finish this. :)
And you've piqued my interest. I am so behind on reading other fics, but I'll have to look for that one.
Christie: *hugs* You are so sweet! As far as how many chapters, it's currently drafted as 11, but the story keeps getting longer as more details are added. I'm guessing around 12, but we'll see!
Uh: Even I can't wait for the reveal! Not too much longer. And yes, he needs to keep his attitude in check at that point, because that would not be cool.
Guest (6/7): She does, doesn't she? I'm writing the darn thing and am getting anxious...
MMM: All very good questions. Tune in to Chapter 8 for more details!
Hey: Oh, thank you for the kind words! Hope you enjoyed this chapter.
tom80: Thank you! And good personal timeline is that "it" happened shortly before Hiccup found out Astrid was hiding Heather's plan. Definitely not a drunken one-night deal...they were in love and had been physically active for awhile since arriving at the Edge. Things cooled down after she was caught lying about Heather, so there wasn't really any opportunity to conceive from that point on. She realized at 6 gestational weeks (around 4 weeks after conception) that something was wrong and goes to Berk. Chapter 1 picks up after her week long stay on Berk, so she is 7 gestational weeks along (or roughly 5 weeks after conception). Pregnancy staging is confusing.
Yes, under the right conditions, Hiccup can be a major jerk! Of course, can't we all? ;)
alex: Oh, he will definitely find out. Not yet, but soon.
Jja: Here you go! Next chapter will be up next week.