CHAPTER 7

PONYBOYS P.O.V

I was glad I could hang around with Curly and Mark instead of staying home. I was getting sick of staying with Two-Bit or even Soda sometimes. I wanted to know more people. Sometimes when I was with Mark he could walk by ten people and know at least eight of them. I wanted to be like that. I wanted people to know who I was and be scared of me. Or maybe when I walked past they would whisper about how I just got out of the cooler. Most of all I wanted to be able to do what I wanted. Like Shepards gang does. How they go around taking what they want and doing anything they can think of. Two-Bit does what he wanted so why shouldn't I be allowed to.

I had been in a world of my own thinking about this and when I snapped back to reality I realized Curly and Mark were going into a pool hall. We weren't supposed to be in this one because it had bar in it. But no one underage had ever been caught in this place. Inside the lighting was dim and it stunk like cigarettes. There were only two windows, both behind the bar. There were five pool tables and only two were being used.

"C'mon let's play." Curly said walking up to the table furthest away from everyone else.

"Alright." Mark said taking his jacket off.

"Pony you playing?"

"Nah." I said sitting on a stool next to the table. Curly got him and Mark a pool stick each and they began to play. I really didn't feel like playing. I was starving and wanted to get out of here before we got caught.

"Wait!" Mark said before he took his first shot. "Winner gets twenty bucks." And he took his shot.

"No way, I don't have twenty right now." Curly said.

"Too bad I already started playing." Mark said grinning. Curly seemed annoyed but didn't complain. They were both so sure they were going to win that I couldn't choose out of either of them. They were both pretty good too.

"Want a coke?" Curly asked a few minutes later.

"Yeah." I said.

"Remember you have to pay me, the winner." Mark said before Curly walked over to the bar. Watching to make sure Curly didn't see Mark moved one of the balls so that he could easily get it in. Curly came back handing us each a coke and not noticing that Mark had moved anything. The game continued on for a while. I just sat back watching. Mark won and Curly handed the money over right away. We sat at the bar, with a new coke each. The coke wasn't enough I wanted food. Curly knew the guy who was working the bar today so we got cokes for free, as Curly put it. But what he actually meant was the cokes were on credit.

"Oh crap." Mark said after we'd only been sitting at the bar a few minutes. I turned and saw a police officer. I immediately turned back around and thought maybe I could get away with it. You had to be eighteen to be in here and 15 is close enough. "We gotta leave." Mark whispered to Justin, the bar man.

"The back door." he said to us, cocking his head in the direction of a door on the other side of the hall. Me and Curly were sitting closest to it and I was worried one of us weren't going to be able to leave. I took one quick look at the police officer before I slid off my seat, following Curly to the door. He was talking to one of the guys that were playing pool; I don't think he even noticed us. Justin quickly walked off; maybe to distract the police I wasn't sure. I hurriedly followed Curly to the door. Mark didn't come right away; he wanted to finish his coke. Curly stopped when we got to the door.

"Go." he said opening it. I went outside, back into the bright sunlight. I had to shut my eyes for a few seconds because of the sun. Curly had gone inside to get Mark who hadn't even begun to follow us outside. I thought I'd just wait. I promised my self I wouldn't even peek inside the small window on the door. The police might see me. If Curly and Mark didn't come in five minutes then they were probably on their way to the station. I was getting impatient waiting for Curly and Mark to come. I broke my promise to myself and peeked in the window in time to see Curly running for the door. "Come on!" he yelled not even stopping to shut the door. I ran after him, not looking back. Mark wasn't following and I guessed he must've gotten caught. We ran for a few blocks and by then I was breathing hard and my legs were sore.

"What happened?" I asked after we'd each caught our breath.

"I was talking to Mark and the police come over so I ran but they got Mark." Curly said, proud he didn't get taken away. I hadn't been out very long and already I had nearly gotten caught for something. This was crazy, these past few days I had become a completely different person. I wasn't Ponyboy anymore, I was someone else. I kept thinking about this as I made my way home. I really wanted to Stay Gold like Johnny had wanted me too. But it was just too hard and there was no other way to be in this neighborhood. I had to be tough like Dally and I couldn't cry no more. I had to start fights and I had to go against the rules. It's the way it is. I can't help it. And I very well can't change it. These days Socs aren't really bothering greasers anymore but we still have a fight every now and again. And we don't jump each other very often anymore. I guess that's the only thing that has changed since Johnny and Dally died. Besides myself.

I got home at about three o' clock. I headed straight for the kitchen not bothering to see if anyone was home. I heated up the leftover spaghetti from the other night and sat down at the kitchen table to eat it. I looked out the window as I ate and watched the day go by. There wasn't much to do on the weekends anymore. Usually I would hang around with Johnny. But I hadn't done that in about a year. I stayed home during the day on the weekends, not bothering to do anything but stare at the TV or read. That was getting boring. Sometimes I went out at night but there wasn't much to do out there either.

After dinner I decided to go to my favorite spot - under the bridge. I hadn't watched the sunset in a few days and I guess I kind of missed it. The sun usually set about 6:30 and it was almost time.

"I'm going out for a walk. I'll be back soon!" I called and even though I heard Darry say 'no' I left. I ran down the drive to the street and down to the bridge. I thought I could hear Darry yell after me but I didn't look. I reached the bridge and went to my favorite side to sit and watch. I made myself comfortable and leaned my head back against the wall. The sun was setting down beyond the trees and it was blindingly bright tonight. I squinted, not wanting to miss it by looking away. I held my breath as I watched it disappear and saw the stars coming out into the dark blue sky. This sun set made me think of Johnny. I used to think of him everyday. But now I try as hard as I can not to think about him. It makes me not want to change myself. I convince myself that I probably would've changed even if he was here. Even if he hadn't killed that Soc and even if Darry hadn't have hit me I would still change. And that was good. Everyone likes change. But one thing they're not going to like is a guy who still goes by his brothers rules.