For You…I Fell

He had known from the very minute he first saw her that he would fall; it was inevitable… She was all that was good in the world. She was light in the darkness, courage in the face of adversity, joy in the deepest sorrow, strength when no one else could stand, and she loved even when others were undeserving. He was undeserving, and yet every day he watched her, unable to keep his gaze from her for even a moment.

In all honesty, it had happened gradually as he watched her mature, as he matured himself, but he had known it would happen if he could not keep himself away. Despite knowing this, despite knowing what would happen to him, despite knowing he would fall, he couldn't bear to keep away from her, to keep his gaze from the one who had so effectively stolen his attention without ever being aware of it. She had always been a spirited child, contrasting his own more serious nature. In the beginning, she had been pretty closed off, but as he continued watching her, he watched her change. He began to see her real personality shine through. How she was loyal, to a fault at times. How she loved so deeply and yet struggled so hard to forgive those who had done her wrong. How she worked so hard to become strong, because she wanted to be the protector. He had watched it all, in awe of her.

He had known what was happening. Had known what that would mean for him, and yet he couldn't stop himself. He couldn't stop it from happening anymore than he could keep himself from breathing. Others around him had noticed the change and had become wary of him, keeping a wide berth as they realized what was changing him. At first, it had stung, knowing they thought of him with a stigma attached to his name, but then he would see her again and that hurt would instantly fade away.

How he could have let it happen, he was never really sure. Maybe it was because he had felt alone for so long, and she was just so vivacious. Maybe it was because he had felt no emotion strongly in ages, and when he saw her, he came alive as though he were a candle and she was the match. Why he let it happen…well that was for anyone to guess. Most people, most normal people, would say he had fallen in love with her, but he was never one for such simple explanations.

No…he couldn't say he had fallen in love with her. He had fallen, that's for sure, but in love…he wasn't so sure about that. It was more like he had fallen into…an obsession with her. He had begun to need her, with a passion and desire rarely seen. He needed to see her every day, needed to see her smile, see her triumphs. He needed to delight in her light, delight in her smiles, delight in her triumphs… He even needed to grieve with her, to worry over her when she was gone away, to wish he could take away all of her pain. He knew most would say that what he felt was love, and at the end of the day, he was sure that was the simplest explanation. But in his heart, he couldn't limit himself in such a manner. Because what he felt for her…what he felt for her was so much more than just love. It was all consuming, powerful, wonderful, and terrifying all in one fell swoop.

He knew he would do anything for her the day it happened. Finally too many people had noticed the change in him, and so he was delivered his sentence without mercy, without understanding, and without a chance to defend himself. He was cast out, branded, and prevented from ever returning to the only life he had ever known. All for her. All for his overwhelming need for her. All without her ever knowing who he was.

As his sentence had been carried out, and as he watched himself hurtle towards the earth, unable to use his wings to even slow the fall, he knew he would take this punishment a thousand times over as long as it was for her. He would gladly give her the very breath from his lungs if that was what she needed.

It had hurt, immensely, when he had finally hit the ground. It felt like his entire body had been shattered like glass, every bone breaking, his organs turning to jelly, and his brain flattening against his skull. In all reality, his fall should have killed any normal human. But he was not normal. He was not human.

It had taken a few hours for his body to heal enough that he was finally able to stand, but his poor wings would be out of commission for a while, he knew. Even though he was healed enough to stand, his body protested and screamed at him with every step he took. He had grit his teeth against every single step and pushed himself forward despite the agony he felt. He had fallen, all for her, and he wasn't going to keep himself away for a moment longer. So he had walked…and walked…and walked, until finally…he found himself there.

He had stared for what felt like an eternity at the gates that held his beloved. She was there, he could feel it deep in his heart, deep in his soul. It was singing to him the song that was hers alone and in that moment, he had never felt more right. Yes he had fallen. Yes it had hurt worse than any other pain he was sure he could ever experience, but he was there. She was right on the other side and all he had to do…was walk through them.

With a sense of trepidation he knew he had never felt before, he pushed the gates aside and walked in, his tattered, broken, and torn body still protesting his every movement.

"For you…" he whispered as he drug his body across the parking lot, "For you I fell…"

As he pushed open the doors to the building that he hoped would give him a new life, he knew that he would never tell her the extent he went for her. He may have fallen for her, but she would never know the pain it had caused him. The fire she lit in his very soul called to him to go to her and as he drug his body through the building, ignoring the stares he was getting to reach the Master, he knew she was looking at him. He felt her gaze on the side of his face and turned slightly to take in her beautiful face.

It had nearly broken him right then and there to see her so anguished for a stranger, for him. He almost wanted to take everything back, if only to avoid seeing her with such an awful expression on her flawless face. But he wouldn't. He wouldn't take anything back, for it had brought him to her. As he stared back at her for a moment that may have lasted an eternity, he knew she would never be able to forgive herself if she knew the pain she had unknowingly caused him. His heart beat erratically as that knowledge only cemented his previous resolve to keep the reason behind his fall a secret from her.

"You'll never know," he whispered a secret he would willingly take to his grave so quietly none would have heard him, "That for you, Erza…I fell."

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I could not help myself any longer and had to post this. Hopefully everyone can tell this is Jellal's origin story, how he came to Fairy Tail. I love Erza and Jellal so much that I had to expand upon their past, his past more specifically, because I think it adds so much to their interactions, even the minimal interactions I have shown between them so far in Evading Destiny. I hope everyone likes this little "bonus"! As always, I do not own Fairy Tail.