Confession.

Alex knocked on the door to Donnelly's office; she held the file with her transfer request in her hand. The nerves built in her stomach as the door opened and she was asked to come inside.

"Come in Alex." Elizabeth Donnelly said as she walked back in to her office. Alex closed the door behind them and was tempted to lock it, while she was ready to tell her secret she wasn't ready for it to immediately be fodder for the gossip mill.

"You needed to see me?" Liz asked.

"Yes. I did, can we sit?" Alex asked gesturing to the leather club chairs sitting in the corner of her office.

"Ok." Liz stared Alex up and down. She wasn't quite sure she'd ever seen her brightest ADA quite so nervous before, at least without having a big trail pending.

"I guess, there are parts of this conversation that I have to ask be between you and I because of their delicate nature…"

"Alex whatever is said in this office is confidential, are you in some kind of trouble?"

"No, I'm not in trouble. In fact I am doing my best to avoid it, which is why I prepared this." Alex said handing the folder over to her superior. Elizabeth took the folder and read its contents, when she finished she looked back at Alex with an inquisitive look.

"I thought you enjoyed working with the special victims unit Alex."

"I did…I do. I just can't anymore for reasons pertaining to my personal life." Alex was never comfortable outing herself to people who hadn't first inquired, she felt like she was putting too much out there. No one had ever come up to her and informed her of their sexual preference, so telling others of hers seemed improper, even crude.

"It's hard prosecuting those cases Alex, you've always done a very good job at remaining objective and presenting the facts and getting your conviction, I am afraid I don't understand why you would want to walk away from that. May I ask about this personal issue that you are having? Maybe I can help you in some way?"

"I'm afraid that my objectivity may be blurred because of a personal relationship I have established with one of the SVU detectives." Alex admitted and in the same moment that she was mortified she had started a conversation about a personal relationship with her boss, she also felt relived that her relationship was finally coming to the surface.

"Oh, well that is a problem."

"We've been seeing each other for a few months, testing the waters. I wasn't going to say anything unless I thought that it might get out and shed a bad light on this office. Over the last few weeks it has become apparent that this is a relationship worth pursing and by doing so I have to step down to maintain the credibility of this office."

"I see." Liz said looking over the form again. "Alex, I know it is none of my business but my curiosity can't help but ask you…"

"Olivia Benson."

Donnelly's eyes looked like they might pop out of her head.

"I…I had no idea counselor."

"By design ma'am, I didn't want my sexuality to overshadow my abilities." Alex admitted, she remembered making that choice. That her career would be more important than her relationships, she wasn't the same person she was then and she knew it. She couldn't be sure that it would be different had she been more open with her personal life, but she also couldn't be sure she wouldn't be chasing ambulances or trying cases involving rent disputes and unpaid parking tickets.

"Alex, you should know better than that, this office nor its counter parts can hold your sexuality against you when filling positions."

"Not legally ma'am but things happen, if two applicants walk in with two equal track records and credentials the only difference is one is gay…"

"We look harder, we go back further and we pick the more qualified applicant." Donnelly looked sternly at Alex for suggesting that her office would do such a thing.

"Yes ma'am."

"So, Thompson leaving homicide provides an opportunity for you to transfer, which I will grant but I am curious Alex, are planning on continuing this game of smoke and mirrors?"

"No ma'am, which is why I am here. We plan on no longer keeping our relationship a secret. This transfer is imperative for that to happen, we both realize that."

"You're right about that. I appreciate your respect for your position Alex, I'd have hated to have to make this decision for you."

"Thank you ma'am."

"Alex, you can stop kissing up now. I'll put through the transfer; you'll clear your docket and be reassigned."

"I really do appreciate this Liz."

"You're welcome. Are you ready for this Alex?"

"I think the transition from SVU to homicide will be smooth, I've been brushing up on homicide proceedings for a while and I think it will be a good fit."

"I'm sure you're record won't suffer Alex, I am talking about you. Are you ready for this, as a friend, I am asking you if you are ready for the fall out."

"I don't know. I mean I'm not sure. I can't hide anymore I know that. I never intended to hide who I am, it just kind of worked out that way. I never lied, I never said anything that wasn't true when asked. People would ask if I was seeing anyone, I'd say no one special. Men would ask me out, and I would just politely decline. I never said was gay, but I never said I wasn't. I am thirty-three years old and I have never had my worlds collide, I never have had a reason to want them to."

"And you do now?" Liz asked.

"I think so."

"Good. You deserve it counselor."

"Thank you."

"I can't tell you what to do in your personal life Alex, but may I make a suggestion?"

"Of course."

"I understand your desire to share your relationship, and I am sure you're departure from SVU will be meet with many questions, but it might be best to let word work its way out slowly, perhaps even wait before telling others the entire reason for your separation to avoid scrutiny."

"Olivia and I have discussed this and other than Captain Cragen and her partner we don't plan on telling anyone else at the moment. We don't have any illusions about being able to maintain secrecy we haven't tried to hide our relationship anywhere other than work and we don't plan on starting, but we won't be standing out front chanting or anything."

"It sounds like you've thought this through."

"I…we've agonized about this for a while yes. We decided together this was best for everyone."

"Well unless there is anything else?" Donnelly asked as she stood.

"No, that pretty much covers it." Alex said taking her first deep breath of the entire conversation. Alex was almost to the door when Donnelly spoke again.

"Alex, for what it's worth, I think it's a really brave thing you're doing. You must really care for her."

"For what it's worth Liz, I love her." Alex said with a smile closing the door behind her.

Olivia could hardly concentrate on her work, she fidgeted in her chair and tried to find something to occupy her mind other than the thoughts of how Alex's conversation with Donnelly was going, and what she was going to say in her own with Elliot and the Captain. When Alex came walking in just before noon smiling Olivia reluctantly knew they had made the right decision. She didn't realize how long it had been since she had seen her smile like that, she has smiled sure but it was the kind of smile you'd have when you were trying to convince everyone you were ok. It was nothing like the way she was glowing now. Olivia felt badly that she had even suggested they try harder to hide their relationship and profoundly happy that sharing it with someone put that smile on her face.

"Elliot, do you have a minute?" Alex said walking up to Elliot at his desk.

"Sure Alex, what's up?"

"Is the captain in his office?" She asked looking at Olivia, sharing an it's now or never look.

"Uh, yeah I think so."

"Great, can I see you both for a moment in there?" Alex asked.

"Sure." Elliot said.

Olivia took a deep breath, before nodding. "Yeah."

The three of them walked in to Cragen's office, and Olivia shut the door.

"Sir can we have a word with you and Elliot." Olivia said standing beside Alex.

"Yes, Olivia, Alex what's going on."

"Don I just wanted you to be the first to know I have put in a request to be transferred to homicide. It should go through in the next couple of weeks, I will finish my current cases, after that the DA will assign you a new ADA."

"Well Alex, I am very sorry to hear that, and I must say I don't understand. Why?" The Captain looked hurt and confused, which made Alex realize just how much his team meant to him and she was part of that team.

Alex started to speak, but Olivia got to the answer before she could.

"It's all right Alex, I'll explain." Olivia said with a smile.

"We, have given it a lot of thought and both of us being a member of this team leaves us, this unit, the DA's office and our victims at too big of a risk for scrutiny considering our personal relationship."

"Wait a second, wait a second, wait a second…." Elliot piped up for the first time. "What personal relationship…Liv you've been…with…Alex?"

Cragen couldn't have looked more confused if he tried, his face vacant, his eyes searching for a way this made sense.

"Olivia and I have been quietly dating for the last five months." Alex said explaining herself.

"You…but…Alex is straight." Elliot continued to talk to Olivia as if Alex wasn't even there.

"Actually Elliot, I'm not." Alex said trying to engage him in conversation with her as well.

"Nah no, no, Alex, I've seen you, Liv and I both have seen you out with that air bag Trevor."

"Trevor and I are colleges Elliot nothing more, I know this comes as a shock to both of you." Alex explained.

"Captain?" Olivia asked searching for acceptance in Cragen's eyes, as far as father figures went he was the closest thing Olivia had ever had. She couldn't get a read on him at the moment and it was scaring her.

"I'm sorry I don't know what to say Olivia, Alex. I had...I can't believe I didn't see it, before I mean." Cragen still wracked his brain for answers to the questions his brain was firing off at an alarming rate.

"Elliot?" Olivia asked trying to get a less hostile response from her partner.

"I dunno Liv, I just, I dunno. I can't believe you didn't tell me before." Elliot looked hurt and angry with his partner.

"I wanted to Elliot, but I wanted to make sure we were solid before I outted her."

"Oh so telling me is outing her? You think I am the kind of guy who's gonna run my mouth around here Liv, you really think I'm that guy?"

"No of course not El I…"

"This is you, you told her not to tell me didn't you? You know what happens when partners can't trust each other Alex? Do you have any idea what happens when I can't be sure what is in that woman's head at every moment? When I don't know if I can trust her because I feel like she is hiding something from me?"

"Whoa El this isn't her fault."

"Back off Elliot." Cragen warned.

"It's ok Don, Olivia, its ok. He's pissed off. I didn't expect you to throw a parade. I knew the longer we waited to tell you, the harder and more personally you would take finding out. I am truly sorry we put you in that position, we thought a lot about this and we didn't want to upset our lives until we thought there was good reason. I understand you need to trust her, so you two can watch each others backs, I know that. I didn't like hiding from you one bit, but you have to understand the position both Liv and I are putting ourselves in by unveiling our relationship. This is why I put in for the transfer, when word gets round, which it will, it could get really ugly. We wanted you two to know so you weren't blind sided and because you two are important to both of us and we're going to need all the friends we can get."

"Who else knows?" Cragen asked before Elliot could make a rebuttal.

"Other than the two of you just Donnelly and Alex's mother." Olivia answered.

"And how long do you intend to keep it that way?" He continued.

"We don't know. We haven't been hiding out…" Olivia wasn't allowed to finish before Elliot had more to say.

"Bullshit!" He shouted. "Bullshit! Haven't been hiding, I'm your partner, and I didn't know. You've been walking around here all sly and shit for months, avoiding questions, giving bullshit answers, you've got some set on you Liv, to say you haven't been hiding."

"What did you want me to do Elliot? Huh? Tell everyone? Subject Alex and I's brand new relationship to the rumor mill? Put all that stress on a relationship that was new and developing…relationships in the best situations can't handle that kind of stress! We had to think about our jobs, our futures without one and other. We had to do our best to avoid a scandal, so that is what we did. I didn't tell you because I didn't want to give myself any reason to doubt you, if somehow it worked it's way out. We didn't hide. I told you things, everything except a name and I am sorry, but it was my decision to make. Don't blame her for this. If I wanted to tell you, you know there wasn't a damn thing she could have done to stop me Elliot. You know me better than that. The only place, that we hid was here, and we don't want to do that anymore. That is why we are here, that is why she is leaving." Alex slipped her hand into Olivia's in an effort to calm her temper.

Elliot looked like smoke could roll from his ears at any moment. He sat forward in his chair and put his head in his hands. Ten minutes he sat like that, without saying a word as Alex and the Captain discussed her departure. Olivia stood stoic in the corner of the room. Finally Elliot sat up and looked right at Alex.

"You love her?" Elliot asked, and though it was a question it came out more like a command. Elliot had moved along in his anger and was now playing the protective older brother routine.

"Excuse me?" Alex said, unimpressed with his tone.

"Liv, Alex, Liv do you love her yes or no?"

"I wouldn't be here if I didn't." Alex answered.

Elliot stood and walked over to his partner.

"You love her?" He asked nodding towards Alex.

"Yeah…yeah Elliot I do." Olivia's eyes begged him to understand.

"No more secrets Liv. No, more, secrets." Elliot stared at his partner.

"No more secrets." Olivia agreed.

Elliot walked back over and sat down beside Alex once more, he looked at the Captain, then back at the women.

"What do we do from here?" Elliot asked.

The four of them calmly discussed the plan that the women had worked out. They were planning on easing everyone in to their relationship. There would be no announcement, no press releases. Just good old fashion word of mouth. They asked that any questions that may come from the press be answered with a no comment, as well as any other lawyers.

As they got up to leave Elliot stopped Alex and held out his hand to her.

"You've been one royal pain in my ass sometimes, but you're one hell of a lawyer. You better make sure you're replacement is ready for this."

"I will see what I can do Elliot." She said with a smile.

Alex went back to her office and started preparing herself for the transition, around six there was a gently knock at the door.

"Come in." She said not looking up from her work.

"Hey, how are you?" Olivia said walking over to her desk and sitting against it.

"I'm good. I'm exhausted, but I am really, really good." She laced her fingers in Olivia's and drew her hand to her mouth and kissed it lightly.

"I love you." Olivia whispered.

"I love you too, you ready to go home? I'm starving."

"Yeah, lets go." Olivia pulled her to her feet a little too quickly causing her to stumble against Olivia. "Are you getting fresh with me counselor?"

"Mmm-maybe." Alex said and for the first time ever kissed Olivia, right there in the middle of her office.

"Oh, that reminds me…we need to get home. I have something that belongs to you."

"You do?" Alex couldn't think of anything missing, or that she had leant to Olivia recently.

"Mmhmm. C'mon, lets go, I'll show you." Olivia led Alex by the hand to the door. "Soon I won't have to let go when we walk out of here." She said with a smile.

After a quick bite at a corner pizza place Olivia and Alex made their way back to her apartment. Olivia wrapped her arms around Alex's waist as she unlocked the door, she pulled her blonde hair away from her neck and kissed it up and down sending shivers down her spine. As she pushed her inside Olivia removed the smiling blondes coat and scarf and tossed them aside before removing her own. Taking Alex by the hand she lead her to the bedroom and silently and slowly removed her business suit. She allowed the grey jacket to hit the floor, pulled softly on the bottom of her shirt un-tucking it from her skirt. Olivia kissed Alex's long ivory next as she unbuttoned her scarlet red shirt. Alex let out a small sigh as Olivia traced her fingers up Alex's side and pushed back the silk until it found it's way to the floor in a pool. Sharply Olivia turned Alex around almost as if she was about to cuff her, Alex braced herself on the bed as Olivia quickly undid her bra and laid her weight against the half naked woman on the bed. She kissed down Alex's spine and gently caressed her breasts. Any memory of disappointment that remained after the Oreo debacle faded away as Olivia unzipped Alex skirt and ran her hands up and down the length of her inner thigh stopping just close enough to cause Alex's knees to buckle.

"Olivia." Her name was the only encouragement she needed as she spun Alex back around and threw her on the bed. She climbed up Alex and straddled her on the bed as she peeled off the layers of her own clothes. Alex playfully explored her partner with her fingertips; Olivia wasn't having any of it, tonight was about her. About showing her how much she loved her, and that she knew they had made the right choice, even if it wasn't the one Olivia had wanted.

She kissed every inch of Alex's torso paying special attention to her taught pink nipples, the way Alex was breathing she needed her and the sooner the better. Olivia slipped her fingers under the only material that stood between and pulled them away from her goal. Alex ran her fingers into Olivia's hair, as she flicked and licked Alex's warmth. Her fingers slipped inside and brought Alex closer, Olivia slowly kissed her back up her body claiming her mouth while still moving her skilled fingers below. She felt Alex's muscle begin to clench around her and felt her body jerk under her weight. Her deep breathing gave way to gentle laughter as she rode out the intensity of her orgasm. Olivia pulled her hand away and continued to nuzzle into Alex's neck playfully nipping and kissing her skin.

Still laying on top of her lover Olivia raised herself on her arms and looked down at the woman below her. "No matter what happens, with all of this. You are the only thing that matters to me. I would give up everything, to be with you, and I am sorry that the way I behaved showed you otherwise. I promise it won't happen again. I love you more than I can tell you, more than I have ever loved anyone. I just need you to know that."

"I do Olivia. I know." Alex traced her finger along the collar bone of her lover and sighed a regretful sigh as she moved her weight off her. "No matter what happens, it's you and me, no regrets."