The Road Not Taken: Another Path

Chapter 7

April 8, 1972

Sam thought back over the previous two years. His life had certainly changed since learning that Tom would never be coming home. This time last year this day had been a dismal one with overcast skies. This year, it was beautiful, bright with Spring flowers. While Sam still missed his brother deeply, the sharp edge had dulled a bit. Life did indeed go on.

Still, Sam felt the need to visit Tom's grave again. He figured that if nothing else, making this yearly pilgrimage would give him the semblance of talking with Tom, even though the conversation would be one sided. He figured that coming more often would mean he was okay with Tom's death and that just wasn't how he felt. He walked up to the gravestone and knelt down, placing and arranging the flowers that his mother had asked him to bring in the holder.

"Hi Tom. I still can't believe you're never going to be coming home. I keep finding myself wondering when we'll talk again. There's so much to tell."

Sam continued to arrange the flowers and picked at the dried leaves that still lay over his brother's grave from the previous fall. He found the activity helped him to concentrate on the news and not on the reason there weren't any answering words to his flow of conversation.

"Basketball is going really well. I finally have learned to block the way you tried to show me that last Thanksgiving. I guess you were right about my being too small then. I'm six foot now. George has been helping me with blocking though. You'd like George, Tom. He's an engineering whiz and a good friend.

"And my roommate, Pete. We're in a lot of the same classes. He had some difficulties with testing but is doing much better now. We've taken Judo together and now he's starting to see how he can use meditation and martial arts disciplines to help him slow down and think through the problems. His grades have really improved."

Sam turned the conversation to family. "Tom, you'd be really impressed with Katie. She's growing up to be a fine young lady. She's starting to look more like those old photographs of Mom when she was younger. Mom and Dad are still doing fine."

Sam suddenly turned quite serious and his brow creased. "They're both concerned about the farm. Things aren't going too well for small family farms right now, but I think what I'm learning will help them weather through these tough times. Dad's really feeling pretty good about the farmer's market. He's still working hard but doesn't feel quite as much stress. I wish he'd consider giving up the cigarettes though. They just aren't good for him. Mom has taken up sewing things she plans to sell at the farmer's market. She figures that way she can help to bring in some income."

Sam countenance continued to take on a serious set and his actions took on a more frenzied activity. "Vietnam is still going strong, although we've been in peace talks. I don't know though, we walked away from the table about a month ago and now there seems to be more bombing then ever. It just doesn't look like it's going to be a war we're going to win. So many have died and there are so many POWs and MIAs. They're still holding peace protests." Sam's eyes filled with tears, which he brushed off with his upper arm, his hands a bit dirty from cleaning off the grave. "I just wish you'd never gone over there." He paused for a moment knowing that no matter how much he would have wished it, Tom would never have stayed behind. "I know you felt you had to, Tom. That it was your duty to fulfill your oath to serve your county. It just feels like your sacrifice was in vain."

Sam brushed off his hands and looked up at the gravestone. He put out his hand to touch Tom's name. "Ah, Tom. I…I…" His hand and his head dropped simultaneously, the emotion of the moment becoming too overwhelming. He squeezed his eyes tightly to stop the tears that again came to his eyes. "Well, I guess I'd better get back home. Dinner will be ready soon and Mom's making her meatloaf." He picked himself up, surveying the gravesite once more. "Talk with you later, Tom," and he walked away.