Total Drama Insanity
In this chapter, there's going to be another challenge that involves vandalism...apparently Blaineley wants to collect some insurance money from some houses that she didn't even want in the first place. How she got the high insurance policies we may never know...but anyways...
Chapter 7: Entering and Breaking
"Welcome to another exciting episode of Total Drama Island...of course, some of you might not think that Total Drama Island is boring rather than exciting...in that case, go jump off the Thousand-Foot Gorge. Nobody liked you anyway, and I doubt that your family would miss you if you did." stated Blaineley.
"Of course, you probably want me to recap the episode...personally I hate doing that...but since my contract insisted that I do it whenever there was a new episode...I don't have exactly that much of a choice. Who wrote that contract anyway? Probably some horrible dictator I haven't even heard of." she continued.
"To make a long story short, I made them watch some of the worst movies that have ever been made. Why people thought these movies would be good ideas I'm not exactly sure...do the Garbage Pail Kids Movie and The Last Airbender even sound like good movies to you? Someone should find the creators of those movies and throw tomatoes at them...or rotten eggs, or whatever they prefer. It's not like they're limited to one object."
"Now that I've gotten that stupid recap over with, it's time for the next episode of Total Drama Island. And no, I'm not going to say that dramatically like Chris did. It was so overused it wasn't even funny anymore." spoke Blaineley. "Anyways, let's hear it for the theme song...at least that never gets old...although nowadays it seems to get stuck in my head."
One theme song later...
Despite the fact that his team had lost again, Ezekiel was feeling rather pleased with himself. He had survived not one but two elimination ceremonies...if he was lucky he might even win this season...that would certainly be something to celebrate about. Maybe he could throw a party at the Playas Des Losers if he succeeded in the competition.
Of course, it also helped that Scott was gone, and that he would no longer be sabotaging his own team. Why did he do that anyway? He did realize that every time his team lost he would end up participating in a bonfire ceremony, didn't he? Then again it's not like anyone ever voted for him back then...at least until they found out what a horrible teenager he was.
On the other hand, Alejandro was still around, and he had caused many eliminations during his time on World Tour. Hopefully he wouldn't end up being eliminated by him this time...he had completely and utterly destroyed Team Victory, after all.
And to make matters worse, he was on the same team this time. Would he persuade everyone else to vote him off during the bonfire ceremony? Of course, so far Courtney and Scott had already been booted off due to their actions, so Alejandro might not be on the show for long.
Speaking of Alejandro, he was currently sleeping...and he was dreaming about pretty girls. He was also talking in his sleep about said pretty girls. Apparently he still thought he was a ladies' man despite the fact that the majority of the campers hated him for his actions during World Tour.
"You are all beautiful...you are so freaking hot...I want to make out with each and every one of you...then again you're not as beautiful as I am..." he kept sleep talking.
"Eh? What's he dreaming about? Something about hot babes?" asked Ezekiel.
"We probably don't want to know...this story's rated T already. Let's not make it M." answered Brick.
"Something tells me the dream is something perverted." stated Duncan.
"Lightning has perverted thoughts all the time." said Lightning.
"OK..." spoke Cameron, trying to get the imagery out of his mind.
"For some reason I always have nightmares about Sierra. Why can't she just leave me alone? She always seems to follow me wherever I go. To be honest, this is probably the only place where I'm safe from her..." explained Cody.
"OK...that's rather disturbing. I hope she stops bugging you soon. That obsession of hers with you is kind of creepy..." agreed Brick.
Confessional: He's probably dreaming about girls that he can manipulate...if you get what I'm saying.
Ezekiel: I suppose it wouldn't be so bad even if Alejandro did get me eliminated this time...it's just a game I suppose...still, I'm happy I wasn't voted off first this time...why did that keep happening to me in the first place?
Brick: Personally, I think Alejandro belongs in military school more than I do. Something tells me he hasn't learned his lesson after what happened to him in season three...
Alejandro: *he is holding out a scrapbook of several pretty girls*
Duncan: To be honest, I think that Chris is even more of a jerk than people say I am...then again I did rob that bank last week...
Let's see how Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself is doing on the girl's side...
Unsurprisingly, Sierra was very happy that she didn't get eliminated during the bonfire ceremony. After all, she would end up being separated from Cody if she boarded the Boat of Losers.
Unfortunately, not everyone was happy with her unhealthy relationship with Cody...aside from Cody himself of course.
"You do realize you're harassing someone that doesn't really want anything to do with you, am I right?" questioned Heather.
"He said that we could still be friends...at least that's something." answered Sierra.
"He probably just said that just to get you to stop bugging him..." retorted Heather.
Sierra frowned. Was what Heather said true? Did Cody hate her?
Suddenly, Heather and Sierra wondered where Izzy was...she always seemed to disappear whenever they decided to speak with each other.
Their question was answered when there was an enormous explosion followed by the sound of Chef yelling in horror and fury.
"I'm going to get you for this Izzy, if it's the last thing I ever do! Sheesh, what the heck is your problem?!" yelled Chef.
Apparently, she had thought that it was a good idea to start a gas leak in a kitchen...unsuprisingly it ended badly as soon as Chef tried to cook something using a frying pan.
Thankfully, nobody ever dies in the Total Drama universe (except for the interns, but nobody ever cares about them, at least not Chris), so although he was covered in ash, Hatchet was perfectly OK. Nonetheless, he wasn't very happy that Izzy had vandalized his kitchen.
He decided to call Blaineley to tell her what had happened. Maybe if was lucky, she would end up being booted off the show.
"Hello? I'm kind of busy right now...I'm trying to think of a new challenge." she stated.
"Well, I've got a problem. Izzy just blew up my kitchen...and without it I can't make meals for the campers..."
"Wait, hold on, I just got an idea for a new challenge..." stated Blaineley.
"But what about my kitchen?! You're not forgetting about that, are you?!" exclaimed Chef.
"Fine, I'll get someone to fix it...hold your horses, why don't you?." answered the hostess.
Confessional: What the f-boom!
Izzy: Causing explosions is so much fun! No wonder they invented the atomic bomb! Let's do it again!
Chef: Izzy does realize that none of the campers are going to be able to feast until the kitchen is repaired, right?
Heather: *she is facepalming* I'm surrounded by idiots...especially my teammates. No wonder they were so easy to manipulate in the first season...
Now to see how the guys on Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot is doing...
Things were looking good for Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot. They had lost no members so far, so they would have an advantage in future challenges. If they were extremely lucky, all of them would be able to make the merge. Owen in particular was pleased, albeit due to the fact that he was eating a delicious candy bar.
"It's a shame that there isn't a vending machine...I still have a lot of cash from winning the first season..." stated Owen.
"I take it you've been spending most of it on food?" questioned Cameron.
"Well yeah...I still haven't really decided on what to spend it on though...my parents told me not to spend it in one place..." answered the boy.
"Like at McDonalds? That would explain a lot..." questioned Mike.
"Very funny..." murmured Owen, who in fact had spent much of the money at Burger King.
"If I ever won a season of Total Drama...I'd probably spend some of the money buying a few video games...I already have a lot of consoles though..." Sam stated.
B began wondering what he should spend the money in if he ever won. Seeing though Scott was gone, maybe he would have a chance of winning this time. Then again, it was only a matter of time before the other campers saw him as a threat. Would he be able to pull off an immunity run during the merge?
Suddenly, they heard the sound of the kitchen exploding. Owen looked outside and immediately screamed in horror.
"Nooo! Not the kitchen! How am I going to get something to eat now!" he screamed.
He was then surprised to see that Izzy was responsible.
"How could you betray me like this, Izzy?! How could you?! Oh the humanity!" screeched Owen. Out of all the people who could have done such a thing...
"I never liked Chef's cooking anyway. He always seem to overcook it." stated Mike.
"Still, it's not going to be easy to win challenges if we can't eat..." Cameron pointed out.
"You're right...let's hope the kitchen is repaired soon..." agreed the teen with multiple personality disorder.
Confessional: Remember to throw the grenade, not the pin.
Owen: Why does Izzy have to be so cruel?! *he begins sobbing*
Mike: I'm starting to see why Izzy is on the RCMP's wanted list. She should have known better than that.
Cameron: Why Izzy isn't in a straitjacket yet I'm not exactly sure. Maybe she's too young to go to a mental institute?
On the girl's side of Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot...
Zoey suffice to say was having a rather good day. Scott had been eliminated once again...and it looked like he wouldn't be blackmailing her boyfriend anymore. Maybe if she was lucky he would once again end up in the Trauma Chair. That was always hilarious to watch, at least in her opinion.
Dakota suffice to say was in a good mood as well, considering that Scott had caused her elimination last season. Why he was such a jerk, the world may never know. Personally, she was wondering why Scott was always talking to himself nowadays. Did he secretly have Multiple Personality Disorder like Mike? Apparently he had no friends due to his horrible actions.
Curious, she decided to ask Dawn about what she thought about Scott. Unsurprisingly, she also thought he was a demon. She however also noted that nowadays that someone was trying to keep his evilness under control without much success. What exactly was she talking about? Did it have to do with the fact that Scott was always arguing with himself? Or was Dawn just being crazy? Then again she wasn't exactly Izzy-level crazy...
"Well, we can all agree on one thing." Zoey stated.
"Scott is a jerk." all three girls stated in unison.
"He is?" questioned Lindsay.
Confessional: I bet CragmiteBlaster has a dartboard with Scott's face on it.
Dawn: Personally, I think if Scott died he wouldn't be going to heaven...if you understand what I'm saying.
Dakota: I'm glad that Zoey took down Scott last season...it would have been a disaster if he managed to win...just like Heather winning the third season...
Zoey: Personally, whenever I see Scott I always imagine him in a devil costume...maybe he's secretly the devil? Then again, it's always the one that you least expect...I hope it's not Mike.
A few minutes later at breakfast time at the mess hall...
Alejandro was trying to flirt with the campers similar to what he had done in World Tour...but for some reason it was no longer working.
"Get away from me, you freak! I'm not going to let you manipulate me again!" exclaimed Lindsay.
"She's my girlfriend, not yours! Go get your own, you pervert! Hands off!" bellowed Tyler.
"Oh brother. It looks like you're trying to manipulate the female contestants again. Didn't you remember what happened last time, Darth Vader?" pointed out Gwen.
"I already have Codykins!" exclaimed Sierra.
"We're not dating!" contradicted Cody.
Alejandro even tried flirting with the campers from Revenge of the Island even though he hadn't known them for nearly as long...but Dawn warned them that he was evil and that all the female contestants should stay away from him so they became suspicious.
"You saw what I did to Scott when he kept manipulating the contestants to do his bidding, didn't you?" stated Zoey.
Alejandro gulped, remembering how Scott had ended up in the Trauma Chair last season...would he end up sharing the same fate? He really didn't look forward to being only able to answer yes or no questions and having all but his head trapped inside a metal box.
It looked like he wouldn't be able to use his looks to get ahead in the game this time, and that he was going to have to come up with another strategy.
Chef came up with some horribly burnt food that he had salvaged from the kitchen...unsurprisingly, nobody wanted to eat it, not even Owen or Brick, even though their stomachs were grumbling.
"Ugh...why did Izzy have to destroy the kitchen?" questioned Heather.
"She suffers from a variety of mental illnesses." answered Dawn.
"I can see that." agreed Dakota.
Confessional: Serves Alejandro right. None of the campers are going to fall for the same trick twice.
Alejandro: Why isn't it working? Am I not beautiful anymore? Do I have something on my face? *gasps* It might be a pimple!
Lindsay: People say that I'm dumb for some reason...but I'm not falling for Ricardio's charms. No sirree! He's not getting me eliminated this time!
Tyler: If he ever tries flirting with Lindsay again, or I ever see him near her, I'm going to vote him off pronto!
Eventually, the campers were once again called for the next challenge. Much to their surprise, they discovered that there were two enormous mansions standing in front of them, one of which was red and one of which was blue for representing each team. What was the challenge going to be this time?
Blaineley once again greeted them...and told them that the challenge was going to be fun for some of them...apparently, they were going to vandalize the mansion using some hammers.
"So let me get this straight, you're going to award us for vandalism?" questioned Owen.
"I actually have an enormous insurance policy for these that's way more than what the mansions cost, actually." stated Blaineley.
"Wouldn't that, you know, be insurance fraud?" questioned Sam.
Blaineley immediately sweatdropped, realizing that one of the campers were already on to her. She couldn't let them tell the police about what was going on, now could she? She had to do something fast.
"Er, forget what I said! Just go out there and have fun vandalizing! This is all the challenge is, really! There's nothing else about it, honestly!" stated Blaineley.
"Something tells me she's hiding something from us..." thought the gamer, realizing how specific her words were.
Reluctantly, the campers stepped inside, looking for valuable things that they could break easily.
Naturally, Izzy was enjoying the challenge the most, and was smashing things like crazy.
"Yay! I love vandalism! It's so exciting! I'm going to break everything inside this mansion!" exclaimed Izzy.
"I think we might be able to win this time." stated Brick.
Duncan was also enjoying the vandalism, albeit not quite as much as Izzy.
"Finally, I can commit a crime and actually get awarded for it..." stated Duncan. "Unless of course i count all the times I stole something..."
"You never really seem to suffer consequences from your actions, do you?" questioned Heather.
"Ah yes...I seem to remember you having your head shaved by one of Lindsay's dares...talk about karma." retorted Duncan.
"Shut up." demanded Heather.
"And of course there was that time where you ended up losing all the money you earned after Ezekiel dumped it into the volcano...how he even survived that, I have no idea." answered the rebel.
"Shut up!" exclaimed the queen bee.
"Why should I? All you ever do is manipulate other people to do your bidding...it's not like you're a tough cookie yourself..." taunted Duncan.
"That's it!" exclaimed Heather, who began attacking him savagely.
"Sheesh, Heather really has anger issues, does she?" questioned Cody.
"Eh, I bet she could use a few anger management classes." agreed Ezekiel.
Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself decided simply to keep on vandalizing and ignore the fight that was unfolding...it wasn't worth the time and energy, and they had already lost the first two challenges, so therefore they needed to hurry.
Confessional: Why can't Heather and Duncan just get along?
Alejandro: Personally, I'm hoping Heather manages to win the battle...it'd be funny to see Duncan get beat by a girl...
Izzy: This challenge is better than television! Even though we're already on television! Isn't it weird?
Brick: We sure are causing a lot of damage...will we able to win the challenge this time?
Let's see how Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot is doing...
Like Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself, Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot was hard at work destroying everything that was in the mansion...everything inside looked rather expensive, and they began to wonder if destroying the objects was such a good idea.
"It sure is a great stress reliever...too bad I probably won't be able to do this again whenever I get mad...since it's you know, the law." noted Zoey.
"It's not like Chris ever obeyed the law anyway...and he was the host of the show, so pretty much everyone in the whole world saw what he was doing. Why didn't he get arrested sooner?" nodded Owen.
B agreed. The longer Chris stayed in prison, the better. He really needed to suffer consequences for everything that he had done to the campers and interns throughout the show...what happened to Dakota and Ezekiel during the third and fourth season came to mind. He should have taken better care of them than that.
"Too bad whoever made these mansions spend a lot of time and money...should we really be destroying all of this?" pointed out Cameron.
"Well, Blaineley told us to do it...then again, I'm not exactly fond of her..." answered Dakota.
"She seems to be enjoying making us suffer like Chris...at least, she always seems to be trying to make our opponents suffer." explained Sam.
"Ah yes...you think she's rigging the competition in our favor? Personally, I'd like it to be a bit more well-balanced...I'm starting to feel sorry for them...at this rate they're going to be completely wiped out." answered Mike.
Suddenly, our heroes noticed that there was a self-destruct button in the mansion...and it was hidden in plain sight.
"Should we press that button? If we did that, we'd probably win the challenge instantly." suggested Cameron.
"I don't know...we might not survive the explosion...it's probably going to be enormous." argued Mike.
"Blaineley really is making this too easy for us." agreed Sam.
In the end, Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot decided not to press the button, mainly because they sympathized with Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself and wanted to spite Blaineley.
Confessional: Chances are pressing that button would make their opponents' chances of winning go up in smoke.
Blaineley: Ugh! Those idiots! I gave them exactly what they needed to win and they didn't use it! This is hopeless! Fine, be that way! See if I care!
Owen: Funny, didn't Chef's kitchen explode just a few minutes earlier? Now that I think of it this challenge is rather ironic...
Chef: If Blaineley puts a self-destruct button in my kitchen, then I'm leaving the show. That is all.
Outside the mansion, Blaineley was watching the chaos unfold with delight comparable to Chris's sadism.
"Perfect, I'm going to make millions by burning these to the ground! Then again I never spended that much money on these anyway...I personally bought Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Hot's mansion off of Ebay to make sure that they would break easily..." she stated.
Suddenly, the chimney of Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself's mansion fell off.
"Well, shoot." murmured the hostess.
It looks like there's going to be a lot of vandalism in this challenge...but who will be able to cause the most destruction? Will Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself lose once again? Or will the winds of change turn in their favor? You'll have to find out in the next chapter...