Disclaimer I don't own Degrassi or Don't you forget about me by simple minds
A/n The start of this chapter follows Take on Me quite closely with a few slight changes, unfortunately I don't own the bits you recognise. I also really apologise for how long this has taken to get up my dad got took into hospital and I've spent most of the past nearly 2 weeks going to college then to the hospital luckily he's back home now waiting for an operation so I should be around a bit more and after I've finished college on Friday I should have more time to update.
Scars
Chapter 6: Don't you forget about me
Tell me your troubles and doubts
Giving me everything inside and out and
Love's strange so real in the dark
Think of the tender things that we were working on
Saturday morning dawned bright and cheery. A less than cheerful Ellie dragged herself out of bed yawning tiredly as her alarm clock woke her up, She pulled on her studded wristbands over the sleeves of her cobweb mesh top making sure the sleeves weren't too see through as she did so, she decided that her outfit was ok before picking up a pile of stuff from her table. She hesitated slightly before picking up her voice recorder as well and slipping it into her bag before doing it up and leaving her room. She headed into the living room before she left and threw an old blanket over her passed out mother before heading out of the house locking the door behind her.
The school was unusually quiet as Ellie entered the entrance hall she made her way to the cafeteria where she found Hazel, Jimmy and Toby, Jimmy nodded to her as she entered and offered her a small smile which she returned as she took a seat. It wasn't long before Sean entered the cafeteria taking a table across from Ellie and putting his feet up she watched him curiously as he pulled off his hat and ran a hand through his messy hair yawning tiredly.
Radditch soon came into the cafeteria and started a lecture about Saturday detention and the rules he expected them to all follow before he left the room as quickly as he had arrived. Hazel, Jimmy and Toby had started to pull out books and papers that looked like work whilst Sean had just put his feet back on the table where they had been before Radditch had removed them during his speech. He noticed Ellie looking at him and put them down again shooting her one of his smirk like smiles, Ellie raised an eye brow and pulled out her notebook blushing slightly.
"So this is exiting" Sean said resting his head on his hand boredly
"It's detention, it's not supposed to be exciting." Toby replied as he wrote not looking up. Ellie kept her eyes on her notebook but kept her ears on their conversation.
"So?" Sean replied producing a tennis ball and standing up. He began to throw it as hard as he could at the Degrassi wall painting.
Ellie looked up from her notebook and watched as Sean swapped from throwing the ball at the wall to the ceiling making loud banging noises which caused a few irritated glances from the other three until Jimmy started to argue with him about doing it. The next thing she knew there was a bang and one of the tiles had fallen right in front of her on her bag.
"Oh great, thanks a lot" She said sarcastically rolling her eyes irritably before scooping up her bag and checking inside it that the tape recorder was still in one piece.
"Anything broken?" Sean asked coming over and Ellie looked up and folded her arms over the bag and glared at him before looking up at the rather large hole.
"We should fix it" Toby suggested suddenly putting his pen down "Radditch will kill us if he sees he'll probably put us in Saturday detention for the rest of the term…"
"For once Toby has a point" Hazel agreed.
"Right, I'll stand on this table and lift Toby up because he's the smallest, Jimmy you help balance us" Sean said picking up the white board. "We going to fix this or what?"
"No chance you broke it, you fix it." Jimmy said still sitting in his chair.
"Come on Jimmy, Radditch will screw" Hazel said nervously
"Oh alright then!" Jimmy snapped getting up. It didn't take long for them to organise themselves, Sean lifted Toby as Hazel stepped out of the way, Ellie joined her not particularly wanting to be crushed by the three boys. Jimmy passed the board up to Toby and they tried to re-fit it with the Hazel giving instructions.
"A little to the left" Hazel instructed them "the other left…" she rolled her eyes as Sean side stepped in the wrong direction and whispered to Ellie. "boys…" Ellie smiled and shook her head as she continued to watch them struggle.
"Do you want to do this princess?" Sean asked irritably "it's not exactly easy…"
"Shut up Sean she's just trying to help, so lay off" Jimmy snapped back
"I really don't like heights" Toby chipped in as he tried to push the tile in
"Oh just shut up and do it." Sean said annoyed
They had just managed to fix it in place when Toby and Sean toppled off the table and landed in a pile on the floor with Jimmy.
"Are you ok?" Hazel asked them all
"At least it's fixed." Jimmy said holding his head and Sean nodded as Toby lay on his back.
Jimmy and Toby stood up and Ellie paused seeing her chance she offered Sean her hand, he looked her in the eyes before he took it, stood back up and straightening his top looking her over. Radditch however decided this was an appropriate time to appear and irritably split them up around the cafeteria before leaving them yet again. Ellie took out her notebook and pen again, Sean began playing with some keys, Hazel started to read and Jimmy and Toby started doing their work.
"Please someone tell me that clock is wrong" Hazel said interrupting the silence in the cafeteria making the others look up, "some of us have social engagements…" Ellie rolled her eyes typical Hazel, social engagements.
"Like what? Does Paige need you to lick her boots before she goes out?" Sean asked sarcastically Ellie hid her laughter at his comment; she had to admit that Sean had some class, Hazel did follow Paige around a lot.
"Leave her alone Sean" Jimmy said coming to Hazels defence. Ellie watched as the two boys exchanged sneers.
"Still, I've got to wonder why your girlfriend miss conformity ended up in detention." Sean replied Ellie thought about his words, now she thought of it why was Hazel In detention? She was always good in class and never forgot her homework or anything… "Me?" Sean asked no one in particular "Well I'm pleased to announce I'm here for 8 solid weeks for anti social behaviour!"
"Well that's a Surprise" Hazel rolled her eyes "and I'm not his girl friend anyway."
"I skipped class and Radditch caught me" Ellie added hoping it would make Hazel open up a bit and tell the group why she was in detention. Everyone stopped and looked at her "What I didn't feel like going…"
"Wow what a great story Ellie" Jimmy said sarcastically, Ellie just rolled her eyes and went back to her notebook wishing she hadn't bothered to speak in the first place.
"Is yours any better?" Sean asked slightly defensively. Ellie looked up again wondering if he had actually been defending her or not.
"Well, I should be at the concert of the year today but…" Jimmy said with a sigh and Toby butted in
"I hacked the school computers to change his grade and we got busted"
"No Toby, you got busted and you ratted me out." Jimmy said irritably
"Anyway back to Hazel…" Sean said looking over at her
"Why do you think I'm here then?" Hazel said
"Your shoes didn't match your purse?" Toby asked looking up from his work Sean laughed.
"Yeh that it, my shoes didn't match my purse." Hazel said rolling her eyes and picking up the bathroom pass "I'm out of here"
Hazel left the room. Toby and Jimmy got back to working Sean stared off into space and Ellie rested her head on her hand and looked over at Sean wondering how she could get him to confess about the thefts. He caught her eye again and she looked away as Hazel bounded back into the room.
"Oh my god you'll never guess what I just saw!" Hazel said as she entered.
"What now princess" Sean asked putting his feet up on the table.
"Radditch. in the gym. playing with a Swiss ball!" She burst out laughing and imitated the movements he had been making and the others started laughing too.
"I walked in and he was like 'Iit's a Swisss ball from Switzerland'" Hazel flopped back in her seat laughing. "If only I had had a camera"
---
Toby was snoring with his head on one of the desks, Jimmy looked up from his work to ask Hazel to do the Radditch impression again breaking the almost silence that had formed in the room since she had gotten back and the novelty of the swiss ball had worn off.
"Iit's a Swiiss ball!" Sean laughed impersonating Hazel's impression
"I'm bored of doing it." Hazel sighed "I'm bored of everything, this room, my work, everything!" Ellie looked up and suddenly had an idea, one which she could possible get Sean to confess to the thefts with and find out why Hazel was in detention.
"Ok then why don't we do something more interesting?" Ellie asked them all they all stopped what they were doing and looked at her "How about a game of Truth or Dare?" The others shrugged and agreed "Truth or Dare" They played for awhile before Ellie grabbed her chance to question Hazel.
"Hazel? Truth or dare?" She asked with a small smile
"Truth" Hazel said shiftily
"So, what are you doing in detention?" Ellie asked with a smirk pleased with herself
"Out with it" Jimmy said from across the room
"Yeah, either that or take a dare" Ellie said "So… what are you doing in detention?"
"I've changed my mind, Give me a dare" Hazel said quickly
"Fine." Jimmy said with a slightly evil smirk jumping in before Ellie had chance to think up a dare "I dare you to kiss Toby"
"Jimmy!" Toby shot upright from the desk he had been sleeping on.
"Jimmy!" Hazel said speechless
"Yes! I Like it Brooks, Come on, on the lips, like you mean it!" Sean laughed
Hazel sighed and stood up. She walked over to Toby while everyone tapped on their tables or clapped. She sat down on his knee and kissed him, Hard.
"Woah!" Ellie laughed, Sean and Jimmy laughed too.
Hazel wiped Toby's lips and stood back up and returned to her seat. After a few more rounds the group fell silent again and as they returned to its bored state Ellie realised she hadn't had chance to ask Sean about the thefts, She sighed realising that getting Sean's confession would be harder than just playing truth or dare. She pulled out her notebook again while Jimmy and Hazel started on some work, Sean was just staring into space playing with his keys and Toby was now throwing things into a bin.
"He Scores, again." Toby smiled in Hazel's direction "god JT is going to be so jealous when I tell him about that."
"No he's not because you're not going to tell him" Hazel said annoyed looking up from her work.
"Why can't he tell him? it's just a stupid dare…" Sean chipped in from across the room
"Because she doesn't want anyone to know she kissed a total loser, even if it was a dare." Jimmy said putting his pen down
"Well that's great Hazel very mature" Sean rolled his eyes
"I don't make the rules" Hazel replied
"No that's because all you do is follow them." Sean said taking his feet off the table "You don't even have the guts to tell us why you're in Saturday detention in the first place"
"Sean" Jimmy said threateningly "Leave her alone"
"No, shut up Jimmy" Sean replied "Why are you here?" he asked Hazel leaning on the desk in front of her. "Did Paige pull your puppet strings? Make you dance?" he asked when she didn't reply.
"Paige can't make me do anything" Hazel told him defiantly
"Yeah right whatever" Sean said "Why…" Sean started loudly, Ellie watched as he lent on the desk in front of her.
"Because I got caught surfing porn ok!" Hazel said loudly standing up. Everyone burst out laughing including Ellie.
"I got some spam in my email I was curious…" Hazel said and then joined the others laughing.
"Oh.." Sean said pulling a fake serious face before laughing again.
Once then had stopped laughing about Hazels reason, the group had become less tense, the boys got into a game involving a ball, a mop and Toby wearing trays. Hazel and Ellie had settled down at their tables to do their work after a while Ellie pulled out her lunch and decided to have a bit, Just as Mr Simpson walked into the room.
"What on earth is going on in here?" Mr Simpson asked making the boys stop in their tracks. Ellie put down her sandwich and looked up. After Jimmy had explained to Mr Simpson what was going on and Hazel had questioned him about if he was returning he left coving his eyes as if he was pretending he hadn't seen them.
"So are we playing again?" Toby asked
"I'm not, you can though" Sean said looking over at Ellie.
"I'm in" Hazel said jumping up bored of her work.
He headed over to where Ellie was sat, she glanced up as she heard the footsteps coming closer and spotted him coming over and on instinct switched on her voice recorder just in case as he took the seat next to her. She quickly shut her book up as he did and then after a pause offered him a sandwich which he took with a grateful nod.
"So are the rumours true? Are you really a blood sucking vampire?" He asked breaking the uneasy Silence between the two of them. Ellie rolled her eyes, why did every rumour about her involve vampires.
"No I'm not a vampire; Rumours are much more interesting than the truth." Ellie replied then after a second she had an idea "There's rumours about you too" she added looking over at him.
"Why cause things get stolen?" Sean replied rolling his eyes and looking over at the others playing their game.
"Yeah but its all just rumours though right?" Ellie asked before taking another bite of her sandwich "You don't know anything…"
"I do" Sean replied turning to look at her before leaning over so only she could hear what he said next "Because I'm stealing it."
Ellie held back a silent cheer, she had a confession on tape, although for some reason the idea of the confession being recorded was making her feel nervous, she pushed the feelings aside as the doors to the cafeteria opened. Hazel pour a tray of plastic forks over Toby and Jimmy attacked him with a pole as Radditch stepped back into the room.
"Sorry for crashing the party." Radditch said annoyed Ellie glanced over at Sean who was busy watching the scene unfolding in front of them, she took her chance with the distraction for Radditch to stop her voice recorder recorder. "Mr Isaacs, Mr Brooks and Miss Aden please clean up this mess immediately" they all sighed and began to clean up Ellie and Sean stayed seated. Sean popped the rest of the sandwich into his mouth and looked over at Ellie who was nervously tapping her fingers on the desk.
"Right I'm putting you all in separate rooms." Radditch said as soon as the mess was cleaned up "Follow me, bring your work."
Ellie picked up her bag and walked past Sean who looked after her before following. Radditch opened the door to the empty maths classroom and Ellie walked in. She pulled a chair down off the nearest table as the door shut and sat down pulling out her notebook and the voice recorder. She pressed the play button on the tape and listened to Sean's confession something felt wrong about it, she bit her lip nervously. After about twenty minutes re-listening to the tape and adding a few notes in her notebook. She sighed and swapped the tape for a fresh one before putting everything back in her bag, pressing record and leaving the room.
"I can't sit in a room by myself for the next two hours!" Ellie said entering the room Hazel was in.
"But Radditch says we stay separate…" Hazel replied looking over her shoulder
"Well I say screw him, lets go" Ellie replied raising an eyebrow
"You're pretty cool Miss Nash!" Hazel smiled standing up and following her out of the room, Ellie smirked.
They found Jimmy, Toby and Sean and persuaded them to come along too. They all walked though the halls excitedly and Ellie lead them into the basement where they found an old elevator which was padlocked. However after a quick search of a nearby janitor's closet Jimmy found a set of keys. After they tested about half the keys on the key ring they came across the right one and unlocked the lift. They all stepped in and after a short trip up they got off the other side where Sean found a ladder and began to climb it. He pushed off the lid at the top and climbed out onto the roof and the others followed, Toby complaining about how he didn't want to go. Sean helped Ellie out of the opening and she looked around at her surroundings.
"Wow we're on the roof" she commented, Sean walked off and Ellie paused and then followed him. Jimmy and Hazel headed off in a different way and Toby was left behind alone muttering something about not liking heights. Sean sat down on a pipe and Ellie sat down next to him.
"I didn't expect so much space…" She said trying to make conversation as she sat down.
"You carry that bag everywhere with you huh?" Sean asked as she placed it down beside her.
"It's a Psycho girl thing… Emphasis on the psycho part" Ellie replied with a small half smile pulling her skirt down a little.
"I Think you're cute" Sean told her randomly looking over at her.
Nerves flicked in Ellie's stomach again as he smiled at her she bit her lip and mentally told herself to focus on trying to make the best report for her co-op, she fiddled with her sleeve for a second and a thought crossed her mind, would he still say something like that if he saw the damage she had done to herself? She turned to face him and watched as he lay back. She paused for a second then followed his example and lay back too.
"You don't seam to be scared of me…" Sean said looking over at her when she lay back "Most people tend to just stay away from me."
"Why should I be scared of you?" Ellie replied raising an eyebrow "You're not like a mass murder… are you?"
"No" Sean laughed a little "I don't know I guess people just find me threatening or whatever" he added with a shrug
"Well I'm defiantly not scared of you" Ellie confirmed for him
"That's good" Sean nodded with a small smile
"And you don't seem freaked by me" Ellie replied cautiously all thoughts of the co-op article leaving her mind.
"Nope" Sean said
The thought of whether he would still not be freaked by her if he saw her arms crossed her mind again, she looked over at him before making up her mind impulsively and rolling down her sleeve with a shaking hand not quite sure what was making her do it, she had only shown Paige and Marco he scars before but she felt like she could trust Sean for some reason.
"Are you freaked now?" She asked showing him her arm
Sean looked a little shocked but he shook it off and traced her cuts with his finger tips before looking her in they eyes and sliding his hand up into hers.
"Not a bit." He said softly Ellie felt her heart skip a beat, she took a deep breath and closed her eyes holding on to the moment. They lay in silence for a bit before Sean spoke up again.
"Why do you cut?" he asked curiously
"I… Dunno… I guess… It's the only pain I can control" Ellie replied thoughtfully trying to decide the best way to explain it.
"Yeah that makes sense" Sean nodded squeezing her hand tight
Ellie smiled over at him a little. Her mind suddenly flashback to the tape recorder she knew she couldn't do the article on the thefts anymore. It felt wrong to write an article incriminating someone who actually seemed like a nice person, He hadn't even freaked when she had shown him her cuts. Maybe there was something more behind him stealing stuff, it could be his form of control or maybe he was pressured into it by his friends but whatever the reason he stole she realised she couldn't judge him especially when she didn't know the whole story. Suddenly they heard Toby's voice calling that Radditch was coming. Sean jumped up and offered Ellie his hand which she took. Once she was stood up she hurried to roll her sleeve down again before they ran together back towards the opening. They hurried down the corridors and Sean tried to open the door to the classroom he had been in but it was locked.
"Jimmy!" he yelled
"You locked it?" Jimmy asked
"I don't know…" Sean replied
Jimmy began trying the keys in the lock until just in time the lock opened and Sean darted inside muttering his thanks and Jimmy ran towards his classroom but dropped the keys. He paused and nearly went back for them but Radditch opened the door so he shot inside the classroom instead. Radditch however found the keys and called them all to the cafeteria again.
"Ok Who took the keys?" he asked and no one replied
"Fine you all have Saturday detention for the next three weeks." He said angrily and begun to leave. Suddenly he changed his mind.
"Look just tell me who took them." He said turning around
"Mr Radditch…" Jimmy started
"I took them" Toby butted in
"Toby, I'm disappointed, But I appreciate the honesty" Mr Radditch said "Go home. All of you and enjoy your weekend. Detention is over." Radditch said before he left the room.
"He didn't even freak on you" Hazel said
"Yeah" Jimmy agreed "Toby that was cool, I didn't expect it"
"Aww you guys group hug!" Hazel smiled
"Wait!" Ellie said a sudden burst of inspiration coming too her "I have an instant camera in my bag somewhere!" She dug through her bag and then pulled it out and her bag fell on the floor.
"You don't seam to be scared of me…" Sean's voice said from Ellie bag "Most people tend to just stay away from me."
"Why should I be scared of you?" Ellie's voice replied
Ellie went to grab her bag but Sean got there before her. He dug through and pulled out the voice recorder and stopped it.
"You taped us?" Jimmy asked standing up
"It was for co-op…" Ellie replied trying to defend herself inside she wish she'd never tried to do it in the first place. "I wasn't going to use any names"
"About what?" Toby asked "detention? Us?"
"No the theft of Degrassi" Sean said taking the tape out and stamping on it.
"Not cool Ellie" Hazel said leaving. Toby and Jimmy followed.
Sean gave Ellie one final glare and walked off. Ellie stood alone in the cafeteria watching them all leave. Biting her lip she picked up her bag and ran to the familiar toilets. Locking her self in a cubical she rolled her sleeve up and examined the cuts that Sean had run his fingers over earlier on that day. She felt awful. He had seemed to understand and she had just thrown it away how could she have been so stupid? Why did she always have to screw things up? She pulled out the CD case and pulled out her razor. She made a few hurried gashes on her arm and the blood ran out of the cuts and dripped onto the floor as she fumbled getting some toilet paper. She gasped a little and quickly held some loo roll over the cuts. It took longer than usual for the cuts to stop bleeding, to Ellie it felt like it had been hours but when they Finally slowed a bit she wrapped a bandage round them and threw on her coat. She quickly wiped the blood spots off the floor before running out and heading out of Degrassi and towards her house.
---
Monday came. Ellie was dreading going back to school, first she had to face the others who had been in Saturday detention who probably all hated her after the tape thing especially Sean. She knew she had to explain that she wasn't doing the article anymore; she hated herself for screwing up her chance with Sean after those few minutes on the roof she saw a completely different side to him, one she really liked and wanted to get to know. She walked absentmindedly in the general direction of Degrassi.
"El?" Marco's voice came from the behind her
"Oh Hey Marco" Ellie replied looking over her should at him as he ran to catch up with her.
"Are you ok?" Marco asked
"Yeah" she snapped half heartedly
"You don't sound ok, what's happening?" Marco commented noticing the tone of her voice.
"You know my project for Caitlin, well I tried to record Sean confessing in Saturday detention" Ellie started to explain "But then we were on the roof together and we kind of connected, I showed him my scars and he seemed to really get me and not judge me for it, its hard to explain but yeah and then afterwards the voice recorder started playing…" Ellie sighed "I felt so awful, I can't do the story… I knew from the minute he touched my scars I didn't want to do it any more. Marco, I… I really like him and I've screwed it up like I always do"
"You don't always screw things up El." Marco comforted her "Maybe you should talk to him, explain everything" he suggested
"I guess." Ellie sighed again "I'm not looking forward to facing him… I feel horrible" Marco squeezed her shoulder reassuringly.
"Don't worry it'll be fine…" he told her and she smiled a little
"I best go find him if he'll let me near him…" Ellie sighed as she climbed up the stairs
"Ok, I'll see you in Homeroom" Marco agreed
Ellie left Marco and walked down the hallways till she saw Sean putting something in his locker, she approached him slowly he spotted her coming and made to close his locker and walk away.
"Sean?" Ellie asked as he started to push the locker door shut "Listen I'm sorry I wasn't going to do the article, well at first I was but then with what happened on the roof I couldn't bring myself to even think of doing it, I'm sorry I always screw everything up." Ellie told him "Have this, it's the other tape I don't want it or need it"
Sean took the tape from Ellie and threw it in his locker. Ellie sighed and started to walk off again heading towards homeroom. Sean slammed his locker shut and turned to Ellie's retreating back.
"So I don't freak you out either?" Sean asked and Ellie turned round at his unexpected comment
"No, Not at all." Ellie replied walking back over to him and looking into his eyes, Sean took her hand and placed his fingers in hers and smiled at her. Ellie smiled genuinely back her heart fluttering she couldn't believe he had accepted her apology.
"Can I walk you to your homeroom?" Sean asked her
"Sure" Ellie smiled happily and they walked hand in hand to Miss Kwan's room.
"How about we meet up to eat lunch?" Sean suggested "if you want to that is…"
"I'd love too" Ellie nodded and Sean smiled back
"I best head off" Sean told her as they reached the Media Immersions lab "see you at lunch then?"
"Yeah see you at lunch" Ellie smiled as he squeezed her hand, She walked into the classroom beaming and took her seat next to Marco.
"I guess it went well then?" he asked
"Really well" Ellie grinned "we're meeting up for lunch!"
"That's Great El!" Marco smiled hugging her "Though you and Sean.. An unlikely couple or what?"
"I guess" Ellie shrugged
"Ok Class time for register" Mr Simpson said interrupting their conversation. Ellie smiled looking forwards to lunch with Sean.
---
"You and Sean?" Ashley asked as they left maths for lunch
"Yeah" Ellie nodded
"Well he is a nice guy, though he doesn't seem it with his bad boy attitude" Ashley replied "I still think he's involved in those thefts though"
"Ash I don't really care if he is, he's really sweet and we really connected at detention" Ellie told her rolling her eyes as they walked towards the cafeteria together.
"Hey That'll be one to tell your kids, you met in detention!" Ashley laughed and Ellie smiled too shaking her head.
"Oh well" she smiled "at least it would be an interesting story." Ellie picked up her lunch tray and scanned the room for Sean. She spotted him sitting with Jay and Alex.
"Hey Ellie" He smiled spotting her walking over
"Hi" Ellie said nervously taking the seat next to him.
"You know Jay and Alex don't you?" Sean asked
"Yeah vaguely" Ellie nodded
"'Sup Red" Jay said "we're going to have to check your good enough for our Sean." He pulled off Sean's hat and ruffling his hair
"Jay…" Sean warned snatching back his hat as Ellie raised an eyebrow.
"Don't worry we don't bite" Alex said raising an eyebrow "Though rumour is you do though Vampy" Alex commented before taking a sip of her soda.
"I don't bite actually" Ellie said with a small smirk "well only if someone annoys me"
"Hey Sean, why don't you bring Red here down to the ravine sometime?" Jay asked as he finished his lunch
"Sure, if you want to come you can." He told Ellie "It's up to you"
"Yeah why not" Ellie agreed before taking a sip of her diet coke
"Right, Come on Alex lets go for a drive." Jay said standing up "See you later Man, Bye Red"
"Bye" Ellie nodded as Sean and Jay did a kind of fist hitting motion.
"See you later" Sean said with a nod, They both fell silent till Jay and Alex had left the room.
"Sorry about them" Sean said nervously hoping Alex and Jay wouldn't put Ellie off him.
"Don't worry" Ellie smiled "They seem ok, if they're your friends then I have to give them a chance and try and get to know them better."
"Really?" Sean asked a little confused "Emma used to tell me off for hanging around with them because they are bad influences, I though you might…"
"I'm not Emma, Sean" Ellie replied raising her eyebrow "and I know I can't tell you who to hang around with and who not too, I'm not your mom" Sean smiled
"You actually want to come to the ravine sometime then?" He asked
"Why not?" Ellie replied taking another sip of her drink
"And you don't mind hanging round with Jay and Alex?" He asked
"No of course not" Ellie shook her head and he smiled over at her
---
Ellie found herself heading nervously towards Sauve's office on Thursday, a day earlier than usual as she was supposed to be going to her Co-op job on Friday after school. She knocked on the office door and Sauve let her in, she took her usual seat knowing today's session was going to be a hard one, she would have to talk about her mom for the first time to Sauve.
"So Ellie last time you said you wanted to spend a whole session on your Mom because she's the main reason you cut." Sauve said getting straight to the point.
"Yeah" Ellie nodded wondering where to start taking a deep breath she looked up at Sauve "My Mom is… she's an Alcoholic"
"How long had she been an alcoholic for?" Sauve asked making a few notes
"Well I'm not sure, she could have been on from before I was born but she started drinking a lot the first time my dad went away for a long time, when I was six" Ellie told her a hint of nervousness entering her voice. "That's the first time I remember her getting really drunk"
"Does your Dad know?" Sauve questioned
"He didn't, She would start drinking every time he went away and stopped whenever he came back, but one time just before we moved to Toronto dad came back earlier and found out, he forced her into rehab and stuck around to look after me, she wasted a lot of our money and dad decided to move the family up to Toronto for a fresh start once she was out of rehab, he was home for about a year after that then he had to go on this peace keeping mission, the ones he's on now. He thinks she was under control, but she's not, the minute he went she hit the bottle again." Ellie told her slightly bitterly
"Have you told him that she's still drinking?" Sauve asked
"No, I can't tell him, I lie to him every time I talk to him, he doesn't need to have things going on at home added to his list of worries" Ellie sighed
"Ellie I know you might not want to tell him but he is an adult, he'll be able to help if you tell him…" Sauve suggested
"I'm not telling him" Ellie snapped quickly
"Ok" Sauve nodded making a note "She triggers you to cut a lot?"
"Yes" Ellie replied simply
"What about her and her drinking triggers you to cut?" Sauve asked
"I don't know, I guess the unpredictableness of when she's drunk, the constant stress of looking after her and making sure she's ok all the time" Ellie told her with a shrug
"So when your dad's home and she stop's drinking all the stress goes away?" Sauve asked
"Yeah, I just have to concentrate on school and whatever else is going on" Ellie nodded
"Ok we'll finish there but I think you should consider telling your dad it may take some of the stress off you" Sauve suggested and Ellie rolled her eyes
"I'll consider it but I'm not going to" she said folding her arms defensively
"That's your choice" Sauve told her "but if I was you I would seriously consider it"
"Well your not me" Ellie snapped standing up "I need to get home" She picked up her bag
"I'll see you next week Friday as usual" Sauve added as she headed towards the office door.
"Ok" Ellie replied opening the door and heading off down the corridor.
---
Ellie couldn't help but smile. It was Friday at last, she had been having the best week she had had in along time, she had a new boyfriend and even gotten an A in her chemistry test.
"So ready for our double bill tomorrow?" Marco asked as they left from media immersions.
"Defiantly!" Ellie grinned
"Double bill?" Ashley asked
"Of classic Indian cinema" Marco told her "I got hold of two Indian classics we haven't seen yet"
"Is Sean going to sit though that?" Ashley asked raising an eyebrow
"Why would Sean come?" Ellie asked her raising an eyebrow
"Well if you guys are like going out, won't you want to do something together?" Ashley said matter of factly
"No, Just because I'm going out with Sean it doesn't mean anything will change between me and my friends." Ellie said snapped back at her
"Change isn't always bad you know El" Ashley told her
"Whatever" Ellie rolled her eyes "I'll bring the popcorn" she added to Marco who shared a glance with Ashley before walking down the corridor
"I have to go to co-op" Ellie said once she'd finished putting her stuff in her locker
"Ok El I'll see you tomorrow at mine then" Marco smiled
"Ok Marco" Ellie said giving him a hug
"Bye guys" she said walking off
She arrived early at co-op and settled down to do a bit of work in her office before Caitlin came in and invited her to come and watch her report on security cameras that she had just finished. Ellie tidied up her work and followed Caitlin into a different room where a television was set up and began watching the report.
"It's fantastic Caitlin" Ellie commented as the program finished
"I always cringe at myself on tape!" Caitlin shuddered and Ellie laughed
Suddenly there was a knock at the door and Sean came in.
"Security cameras? I thought tape recorders were the next big thing" He smiled looking at the screen
Caitlin glanced at Ellie and then excused herself from the room
"Surprise visit?" Ellie said with a smile and Sean offered her a hand "Unexpected but nice"
"Ellie Nash just said nice…" Sean laughed "I just popped by to ask you if you wanted to come to the cinema with me tomorrow!"
"Really?" Ellie smiled
"Yeah, it's the opening weekend of elimination round three I thought we could go and see it, if you want to…" Sean said
"Oh but…"Ellie started remembering Marco
"But what?" Sean asked
"Nothing, I'd love to come" Ellie smiled
"Great!" Sean grinned back "I'll meet you at the cinema then at four?"
"Sounds good" Ellie nodded
Ellie returned home that evening and put her bag into her room before picking up the phone and calling Marco.
"Del Rossi Residence how can I help you" Marco's voice came from down the phone
"Hey Marco" Ellie said
"Oh El, Hey How was co-op?" Marco asked
"It was good thanks, I had a surprise visitor though" Ellie replied
"Let me guess, Sean?" Marco said cheerfully
"Yep" Ellie replied "he wants me to go see a movie with him tomorrow; I know it'll mean we can't have our Indian classic movie double but I thought you could come with us and then me and you could watch the Indian movies on Sunday."
"I'm not sure Ellie…" Marco began to object
"Please Marco" Ellie begged, she didn't want to admit it but she was a little nervous about going out with Sean on her own and she wanted Marco to come with her so she wouldn't be alone.
"Oh alright" Marco agreed "but your buying popcorn"
"Fair deal" Ellie laughed "I'll come round to yours at three tomorrow then so we can walk to the cinema together"
"Ok sure" Marco agreed
"Bye" Ellie smiled
"Bye" Marco replied.
---
Ellie rang Marco's door bell at three on the dot the next day and Marco's mom let her in. She took the drink Mrs Del Rossi offered her whilst she waited for Marco to appear, he threw on his coat and they left the house together.
"Are you sure Sean isn't going to mind me being there?" Marco asked
"Of course not" Ellie said as they walked
"Indian cinema tomorrow from two then?" Marco checked
"Defiantly" Ellie agreed "I've been looking forward to it all week!"
They arrived at the cinema and Found Sean, Alex and Jay in the foyer area waiting for them.
"Come on Marco" Ellie said trying to get him to hurry up as he was trying to hang behind.
"Why the hurry? We wouldn't want to miss a second of elimination round whatever…" Marco said sarcastically Ellie couldn't help but laugh a little.
"Sorry we're late" Ellie said as they walked up to the others
"Hey Jay" Marco said nervously spotting the older boy starting at him
"er, yeh" Jay replied "Alex go get me some popcorn"
"Give me twenty bucks and I will" Alex replied and Jay rolled his eyes before leaving with Alex to get popcorn.
"I already had plans with Marco so I thought I'd ask him" Ellie explained taking in the expression on Sean's face "Is there a problem?"
"Let's get seats" Sean said avoiding the question and Ellie rolled her eyes following him into the cinema and taking her place between Sean and Marco.
Ellie ate a hand full of popcorn as she watched the boring action movie Sean put his arm around her and she smiled watching a crappy film was worth it as long as she was in Sean's company she decided. Ellie and Marco were both beginning to find the stupid ness of the movie quite funny and found themselves laughing at random bits, Sean took is arm off Ellie's shoulders looking vaguely annoyed as she laughed at another bit she should have, he then proceeded to reach for the popcorn only to find Marco's hand already there. Ellie noticed that Sean was starting to look pretty pissed off as he removed his hand from the popcorn. Her smile faded and she sighed, maybe bring Marco was a bad idea after all, she sighed once more and just turned her attention to the movie trying not to make things worse.
---
"I don't think Sean was too happy I came yesterday" Marco commented as they settled down in his living room on Sunday to watch the Indian Classic movies.
"I know but I did already have plans with you I wasn't about to leave you with nothing to do because I wanted to go off with my boyfriend, especially when your much more important to me anyways" Ellie said picking up the tub of popcorn.
"Ellie, I could have found something else to do" Marco said shaking his head and pressing the play button
"Well I wouldn't have enjoyed myself without you, I so didn't get that movie" Ellie sighed as the film started
"Neither did I" Marco smiled
"But I do get these movies" Ellie laughed as she looked at the screen.
The watched three movies in a row before the smell of Marco's moms pasta drifted through to the living room where they were spread out on the sofa watching the credits of the final movie.
"Shall we go see if tea's nearly ready?" Marco asked with a yawn as the screen went black
"Sure" Ellie nodded "I can smell it already!"
They headed into the kitchen and took their places at the table, waiting for Mrs Del Rossi to serve up the food. They didn't have to wait long and soon they were tucking into Mrs Del Rossi's Pasta with her own recipe special sauce. As Ellie was staying over once they had finished eating they went up to Marco's room and Ellie grabbed her clothes to go change in the bathroom. Once she returned they decided to watch another random movie before bed.
"This just doesn't compare to the Indian movies" Ellie smiled as they lay on Marco's bed and the movie finished.
"No I agree" he laughed "Canadian comedy and Indian comedy are completely different."
"Shall we go to sleep? We have to get up tomorrow for school" Ellie suggested
"Yeah we probably should." Marco agreed Ellie climbed off his bed and into the camp bed set up next to it.
"Night Marco" she smiled
"Night El" Marco replied turning off the light
---
Marco's dad dropped them off at school the next morning and They headed to lessons together where Paige told them about Terri's accident over the weekend, Rick was rumoured to have had left the school and Ellie had to admit after what Paige had told her she defiantly felt it was better he wasn't around. At lunch time Ellie decided to join Marco eating on the front steps of the school, she felt out of place sitting with them all while they were discussing Terri and Rick as she never was particularly close to either of them.
"I'd go with Ash to see Terri after school, but I didn't even know her that well, it seems kind of morbid…" she said tucking into the pasta from Marco's mom.
"We could go if you want" Marco suggested "I didn't know her too well either"
"Yeah maybe we should" Ellie nodded as Sean appeared and sat down in between them making Marco scoot over so much he stood up to leave.
"I'll see you in English" he said rolling his eyes and leaving.
"What did you do that for?" Ellie asked Sean
"I just wanted to spend time alone" Sean shrugged
"Well you've got your wish" Ellie said following Marco back into school, she could not have anyone treat her best friend like that, even Sean.
---
"Do you want to go to the Dot for a drink before we go back to mine to pick up your stuff?" Marco asked
"Sure" Ellie nodded as they left their last class of the day and headed out of Degrassi.
Ellie took a sip of her chocolate milkshake
"I should dump him" she commented
"Sean?" Marco asked putting his cup down
"You're worth six Sean's" Ellie told him "He can't be that rude and expect me to stick around."
"Sean's Rude El?" Marco asked "What do you call bringing Marco the human security blanket on a double date?"
"Marco the what?" Ellie asked confused though inside she knew she had used him as a sort of security blanket.
"Look El, I Know you want everything to stay the same but Sean could be good for you if you let him" Marco told her "I can tell your so much happier now you with him, your just so much more cheerful!"
"I suppose, I better apologise to him tomorrow, if he'll even talk to me…" Ellie sighed "I seem to have to apologise to him a lot…"
"He will" Marco smiled
"Let's go get my stuff I should be heading home" Ellie nodded
---
The next morning Ellie arrived early in the hope that she could catch Sean before homeroom. She spotted him by his locker and walked over.
"Sean?" she asked "listen I'm…"
"Aren't we through…" Sean asked irritably
"Ok are you like dumping me?" Ellie asked a bit confused
"Didn't you already dump me?" Sean asked confused
"No… ok let's start over" Ellie said "I'm here to apologise, I haven't been a very good girlfriend, but you haven't been that great of a boyfriend"
"Look Ellie, I don't hate Marco… it's just that I'm dating you…" Sean replied
"Look Sean I've never done this before ok, like a proper relationship thing, so sorry if I don't totally know how it works..." Ellie admitted
"Well you know you can ask me anything anytime" Sean smiled
Ellie leaned in a kissed him and he took her hand
"Can I walk you to homeroom?" Sean asked
"Yeah sure" Ellie smiled back happily as he squeezed her hand.
A/n Thanks to everyone who reviewed, I apologise for how much was from the show but I didn't want to change events too much just add my own twist to them if that makes sense…