To Die Alone: Chapter 7
Despair and Die
Hello all!
It's been awhile, but I'm back with another chapter! I've read all your awesome reviews, and not to worry, I never had the intention of Ichigo gaining Shiro's powers in the first place! I'm gonna let Shiro be free for a while…and no doubt an impending battle! Will take into account a tie. :D I'm open to any other suggestions or ideas people might want to see in this fic.
Here's the chapter with a juicy 9 pages, enjoy.
Mayuri squinted at the large screen in front of him, his yellow teeth revealed by his large grin and his face twisted in raw malice. He watched Kurosaki reject his hollow counterpart, before it took over one of the Rukongai test subject's body.
But that body would easily deteriorate if the hollow remained in it for a few weeks. Without a body, the hollow risked having its soul dilapidated by the reishi in the air, since it never had had a material body strong enough to live without Kurosaki's own soul to sustain it. It was therefore dependent on the substitute soul reaper, and breaking that bond was so frustratingly difficult that even the scientist couldn't find a way to do it.
It drove him mad. Well, madder than he was already. But everything seemed to be going smoothly even though Kurosaki had managed to escape his hollow's grasp.
"Excellent," the scientist crooned. "The emotion gauges should be filled up in no time with the hollow around."
He let out a loud howl of laughter, raising his hands in the air before slamming them repeatedly back down on his desk. It was exhilarating. He could do anything. He. Wanted—Anything. From controlling these meagre soul reapers to implanting replicas of espadas by using the DNA that he had collected from each specimen. Then, he'd simply throw them into the barrier and let the replica espadas simulate what he wanted from his dear test subjects.
Even if they started to rebel, none of them stood a chance—he had implanted a device in their brains that would explode if they were stubborn. The espadas would do his bidding—and the test subjects would have their minds controlled if they attempted to break out of the barrier or anything else that would displease Mayuri. He had become god to these specimens. And nothing felt better than this.
His yellow eyes swivelled to glare at Nemu, who was currently standing to attention with her hands loosely clasped together in front of her, awaiting her master's orders.
"Nemu! What is the gauge that is most depleted?" he snapped at her.
She checked her clipboard before answering instantly. "It seems that the 'Despair' gauge is on a significant low Mayuri-sama."
Mayuri turned his chair back towards his main screen, taping the piano-like keyboard he had at his disposition. Despair? It was so easy to create that the scientist hadn't even considered creating a simulation for it, so now it was depleted. Well fine, he'd create one now. It wasn't very hard. These kids were so easy to push around now that they were helplessly enclosed in the barrier.
"Let's see how we can torture one of them…" Mayuri murmured with an unpleasant smirk on his face.
The screen finally showed a black haired lieutenant and there was silence in the room before Mayuri began to burst out in sadistic laughter as he connected the dots.
"Fantastic," he cackled, "Absolutely ingenious, Mayuri! Kuchiki Rukia, you're going to love this one."
"Well hello, Zabuto."
Jaspa Alvarez screamed in pain as her left arm was loped off. She writhed and shouted curses on the floor while Tia Harribel placed a hand on her sword threateningly as she stared the hollow down.
His lips curved up into that forever feral grin as he flicked the blood of Zangetsu's shikai state. "You better not call me that again."
Harribel marched forwards, hand still on her sword as she moved in between Jaspa and the advancing hollow. "Enough, Hollow."
Her tone was at its finest, icy and cold like it should be, but the dark counterpart of Kurosaki Ichigo could sense that there was something slightly odd about the two espadas' reiatsu. For one, they seemed…counterfeit? Did that make any sense at all or was he more insane that he thought he was in the first place?
He sized the woman up, noticing how her posture signalled that she was a remarkable fighter that was not to be messed with. Not that he was scared or anything. He let his glare burn into hers before turning around and replacing Zangetsu back on his back.
"Tch. There's no point in fighting things that don't fight back," the alter ego hissed, stomping off, away from the ravaged village of Kusajishi.
While walking, he opened and closed his fist, his stomach churning in annoyance and anger. The body was stiff and slow, which made the hollow much weaker than he actually was. The crazy kid's body was nothing more than a worthless piece of shit. King's body was the only thing that would fit the job nicely. And he wanted it. Now. Since the villagers had been too incompetent to realize there was a similar reiatsu nearby and stupidly gave away their own for the hollow to devour, he might as well go looking for King by himself.
But still…He shouldn't have let King get away back in that cave. He could have easily caught him. But then what? His hallucination powers had not worked on Ichigo as far as he was concerned. That was the only thing he had learned that permitted him to enter someone's body. But not only that…King had rejected his own power. Not only the inner hollow himself, but Zangetsu too. Why?
"Hollow. You shouldn't stray too far. The soul reapers are still looking for us," Harribel's voice made him bristle slightly.
He turned around to glare at her. He didn't trust anyone. Especially not this counterfeit bitch. Why did she keep following him? He didn't need a fucking babysitter.
"What? Don't like the body I got for you?" Jaspa sneered hatefully.
The alter ego's eye twitched as his hand itched for Zangetsu. He began fantasizing over loping off the other espada's remaining arm off.
"Where…" he hesitated, "…Where are we?"
His gaze landed suspiciously on the strange humming sound that seemed to be coming from a wall painted over with sky and clouds.
"Mayuri's experiment. We're trapped here in Rukongai," Harribel answered patiently.
Everything clicked into place. So that's why he and King had been split in two. It was this Mayuri guy who had done this to them. He wanted to gouge that bastard's throat open for throwing him into this shithole. He was doing just about fine in trying to take over Ichigo's body a second time but the mad scientist had to ruin it all for him didn't he?
"This body will rot away in a few weeks' time," the hollow said to no one in particular. "I need to find King and take over his body for good."
He grinned, just about ready to launch himself in a random direction, but Harribel restrained him with a surprisingly firm hand. "It's useless. They've placed a barrier of their own to avoid detection by the likes of you."
He shrugged off her hand irritably, before snapping, "Don't touch me, you phony."
Jaspa's eyes glittered in anger. "How dare you! Harribel may be a counterfeit, but her presence here still very much commands respect!"
The hollow couldn't contain himself and had already launched himself at Jaspa. He'd lop her arm off just for pleasure, then he'd deliver a deep gash into her stupid face just to shut her—
"You're unusually reckless, hollow," said an unfamiliar voice that was now blocking his cleaver blade.
The counterpart stared at the newcomer as well as Jaspa, before the hollow felt similar reiatsus encircle them shortly after. He glanced around before letting out an irritated groan. "More of you? Oh come on!"
He flicked through Ichigo's memories, which he took from the link that still bound him to the teen. Stark. Sazel. Yammy. Grimmjow. Zommari. But…how? They were all supposed to be dead. What kind of fucked up person brought these espadas back to life?
He jumped clear of Stark's blade, backing away, his eyes darting from side to side, ready for them to attack him at once.
"Jeez, peace Kurosaki," Stark drawls lazily. "We're your comrades. We're in the same boat. Our job is to keep the soul reapers in line and do whatever Mayuri-sama tells us. Otherwise he blows us up, right?"
The hollow tried to ignore the fact that the Primera espada had just called him fucking Ichigo, and used his energy to try and mask the confusion that he was clearly feeling right now. Keep the soul reapers in line? Blowing us up? How much had he missed?
"Mission is to guard the barrier and keep the soul reapers from trying to discover how to break it. But not to worry, Mayuri-sama's talking to us in our minds, so it'll be clear what he wants us to do. Just don't go rebelling or anything unless you want to go 'boom' okay?"
They heard Mayuri's voice in their heads. Damn. Did they know that he had heard nothing whatsoever from the crazed scientist? Did that mean that he wouldn't blow up if he disobeyed the bastard's orders? It had to be some sort of trap of some sort. But for now, he'd play along.
"I know all the shitload of details. Now leave me the fuck alone."
The espadas watched as Ichigo's dark counterpart vanished from view in a flash of sonido. Stark nodded to Grimmjow. "Follow him. Mayuri-sama said to keep the hollow away from Ichigo for as long as possible."
Ichigo shivered. He sucked at sensing reiatsu, but even now he could feel the crushing reiatsu of a new set of arrivals, even though the barrier they had set up concealed theirs. That's when Renji came rushing in to make the terrible news official, sweat beginning to form on his brow. "More espadas!"
Ichigo had recovered more of his memory thanks to his encounter with his inner hollow, but all had not been recovered yet. But he knew enough.
"He can do whatever he wants with us," the teen found himself muttering.
Leave it to Orihime to hear what he was saying and shout it out loud. "What do you mean Kurosaki-kun?"
"Rukia was right. Mayuri is god here," the orange head explained to the brunette. "I've…I've recovered more of my memories—I know what he wants from us."
The hushed murmur in the room was paused as they all glanced at Ichigo with hopeful looks on their faces. Ichigo hated that. Why did they have so much faith in him to fix everything? Andf even if he told them Mayuri's intentions, it still wouldn't help them get out of here.
"Well don't ditter around, just say it," Rukia huffed.
"He's implanted something in each of our brains," Ichigo addressed the room that was now full of listening soul reapers. "It's used for three purposes. One, it can be used to control our minds if we decide to rebel."
There were cursings and mutterings of alarm filling the room, as some reflexively touched their heads as if they could remove the device if they got scared enough. Ichigo's eyes tightened. Even he felt scared by this thought that Mayuri could control his actions. He wished this was all a dream—but it wasn't.
"Shut it!" Kukkaku silenced the room.
So the teen continued, wrapping his arms around himself again, a position he had found himself doing over and over again ever since his encounter with Mayuri even though he was mostly back to his old self.
"The second is if things get really desperate. To blow us up."
Now the whole room is screaming in outrage and yelling over one another to be heard, everyone acting like a bunch of wild animals. Only Kukkaku and Ichigo remained silent, and it seemed that the strength to make them all shut up had been drained out of the woman as the realization dawned on her. They were never going to come out of here alive.
"Everyone just shut up!" Ichigo snapped finally as the cacophony of voices lasted longer than a few minutes. "Just…shut up."
He turned away from the sea of eyes, biting his lip. It was clear that he was upset. But it wasn't over the fact that Mayuri just might press the button and send his intestines flying all over the place. What had happened to Soul Society? And were the hallucinations that his hollow was showing him really true?
He drew in a breath before he glanced at Rukia. "Remember when I had a mental breakdown when you showed me around for the first time?"
Rukia frowned, nodding. "You did say something odd about emotions."
"Yeah…Mayuri is after our emotions. The third purpose the device serves is to measure our brain signals and wavelengths when we are experiencing certain emotions. I don't know what he plans to do with the information…"
Ichigo was greeted with a stony silence this time as everyone reflected on this. He never was the brains. Let them figure out what Mayuri was doing.
It was Shinji who spoke first.
"I frankly don't have a clue about what he's trying to accomplish, but if it's anything to do with manipulating us even further, it's not good."
"He clearly doesn't want us leaving the barrier if he's taking so much of these precautions. But if we don't somehow remove this device out of our minds, we have to count on the fact that we will never get out of here alive," Uryu says, pushing up his glasses.
There's another silence, but everyone is at a loss of what to do. How were they supposed to remove the stupid thing out of their brains? If they attempted to remove it, Mayuri would mind-control them not to do it. If only there was someone who didn't have the device in their brains, and new some form of surgery. But that's all impossible here. Everyone has a bomb in their freaking heads.
"Soon you won't have to worry about your body being blown up, because your body is mine."
The orange-haired teen clutched his head for the umpteenth time that day. Even though his inner hollow was nowhere near his body or even in his mind, he had still somehow managed to find a way to resume torturing Ichigo through their remaining link. Ichigo swore. If only he had Zangetsu, he could walk out of here and kill the bastard. But the hollow had his zanpakuto…And poor Zabuto's body. Would the body be able to handle his hollow's reiastu?
That's when something suddenly rang in his mind. He pushed the covers off his body, whispering under his breath. "Yuri."
He'd completely forgotten about her. Guilt stabbed through him. What had happened to her? He could just imagine his counterpart now, taking pleasure and dismembering her limb by limb while she screamed in agony. His hands flew to his head as the hollow projected this imagery to him, filling his mind with loud laughter.
He stumbled out of bed, careful not to wake the others and made his way outside. He slipped through the barrier, knowing there was a certain hand sign one had to do in order to return back in.
He slipped into flashstep, knowing full well what a big risk he was taking, but he had to find the little girl before she got hurt. It was the least he could do for Zabuto, when he had failed to protect him so miserably.
He attempted to mask his reiatsu like Rukia had tried to teach him, and even though it wasn't much, it was enough to make himself unidentifiable. The espadas wouldn't be able to tell whether it was him or not.
"Ungh!" Ichigo gasped in pain as an attack sent him toppling over onto the ground.
He rolled away as the blade proceeded to bury itself into the ground right next to his head, before he agilely leaped to his feet. His eyes widened momentarily before coming back down into his usual scowl.
There swinging Zangetsu by his hilt wrap, stood his inner hollow, trademark grin set lazily in place. The smirk widened as Ichigo took a fighting stance. "Well, well King. Have you come out play?"
"I don't have time to deal with you," Ichigo ground out.
He barely excavated Zangetsu smashing on the ground where he had been seconds before, then started sprinting towards the remaining tents of what was left of the village of Kusajishi. He knew he didn't stand a chance against his hollow if he stood here and fought him without a zanpakuto.
He could hear his hollow's laughter as he chased after the teen with glee. "Lost something Kingy?"
Zangetsu was buried into the ground right next to Ichigo to emphasize his point. Ichigo dodged it, before it was pulled back out of the earth by its hilt wrap. Ichigo could hear the blade whistle through the air as it was spun in the circular motions before being launched at him again.
"Yuri!" Ichigo shouted as he evaded Zangetsu once again. "Yuri it's me, Ichigo!"
Was she scared of the sounds she was hearing? Or was she already…dead?
He gasped as a pale white hand grabbed his shoulder in an iron grip, and with staggering strength, chucked the poor teen into a pile of burnt down tents. Ichigo hacked and coughed as the dust that had risen up from the ground around him began to settle again. He stared blearily at his dark counterpart as the alter ego proceeded to swing Zangetsu in the now familiar circular motion. "I can't guarantee that your head will remain on your shoulders if you continue to ignore me Ichigo."
Ichigo's eyes narrowed apprehensively. How had the hollow managed to catch up to him? He had been counting on the fact that their similar speeds would aid him. So much for that. "Look, I'm just here to find the girl. What the hell do you want from me?"
The hollow faked a confused expression before he began laughing out loud.
"What do I want?" the hollow choked back another bout of laughter. "What do I want King? The same thing I've always wanted—my body!"
Ichigo scowled at his hollow. Like that was going to happen. The teen never wanted him back—he was done. Done. And if he had to live without Zangetsu in the process, so be it. Those memories he had had in the cave… they were finally hitting him full force. He didn't deserve to have a zanpakuto anywhere near him. He was done.
The hollow noticed the blankness of Ichigo's expression, and with a hint of annoyance in his eyes, flung the zanpakuto at Ichigo once more. But Ichigo didn't move or react. He just sat there, with that lost expression on his face. What have I done? The Seireitei is…
The pain never reached him. He stared up in shock as he saw Grimmjow blocking the hollow's blade.
"What the hell!" Ichigo's double screamed in anger.
"Back off Hollow. Mayuri's direct orders," Grimmjow said gruffly.
"I don't know what the fuck is wrong with you, but you've all been acting as if you have sticks up your asses ever since you let Mayuri tinker around with your brains!" the hollow barred his teeth.
Ichigo simply stared. Grimmjow had intervened him because Mayuri didn't want him to die, apparently. He blinked. He hoped that knowledge would be to his advantage in the future. But these espadas…seemed to be in the same situation as the soul reapers. They had an explosives lodged in their brains—and direct communication with Mayuri. Which meant they were working for him to help hatch his plans. The teen shivered. Had the espadas all lost their pride, or were they really under Mayuri's control like his inner hollow said they were?
"You can't get your body if you kill him, smartass," Grimmjow hissed.
"I didn't expect him to just sit there!" the hollow snarled back.
Ichigo froze. Had he really just been sitting there waiting to be killed? He put a hand to his head in shock. Since when had he ever given up like that? Abandon Zangetsu? What had he been thinking?
Grimmjow looked back at the horrified teen in understanding. "He must have been under Mayuri's control for that one moment."
Ichigo stared at the ground in terror. Was it true? Had Mayuri really controlled his mind just like that? Ichigo hadn't even reisisted, let alone noticed until the sexta espada had told him.
"I-I thought he didn't want me killed," Ichigo muttered under his breath.
Grimmjow heard him, giving him a cold look, which was strangely odd on the espada's face. "It was a warning. He can do whatever he wants. Whenever he wants."
Stark appeared, hitting Ichigo's dark counterpart on the back of the neck, who had been listening with a furious expression on his face, Stark effectively knocking him unconscious. Ichigo watched the hollow go limp and drop Zangetsu, before Stark lugged him underneath one arm, Zangetsu in the other. "We're leaving Grimmjow."
He left with a sound of static, Grimmjow giving Ichigo one last warning look before he followed after his fellow espada. The orange head sat frozen on the ground, staring at the spot where they had disappeared. These counterfeit espadas were clearly under Mayuri's control. Hell, Grimmjow hadn't even so much as smiled or grinned. It was weird.
He raised his hand to his head again disbelievingly, before he narrowed his eyes and swore. Mayuri had really… Dammit.
"I…Ichigo…?" said a small voice.
Ichigo raised his head, his eyes darting to search for the source of the voice. That's when he saw Yuri, crawling out from one of the tents, covered in soot, scratches and bruises. Ichigo got up and stalked towards her. Guilt crawled up his spine at how pitiful she looked. How could he have left her here all on her own?
"Has my brother…" she sniffed, tears rimming her eyes, "I mean that monster…left?"
Ichigo put a reassuring grip on her shoulder. "Yeah…I'll get him back, I swear."
Ichigo took her hand as she sniffed again, and guided her for the long trek back.
He was so sorry. If it hadn't been for his recklessness, his hollow wouldn't have been set free by Mayuri. If it wasn't for his stubbornness, the hollow would have possessed Ichigo instead. If he hadn't been here at all…if he had stopped Mayuri before things went out of control… Yuri and Zabuto would not have ended up like this. And no one, no soul reaper or dead espada, would be trapped in this fish bowl like rats at a crazy man's mercy.
He halted, crouching down and taking fistfuls of his hair, letting go of Yuri's hand and tried to calm his anger and his frustration. He was just so damn helpless. Even against his hollow, he hadn't been able to do anything.
"Dammit!" he slammed his fist on the ground, teeth gritted together. "If only I had a weapon! Something to fight back with!"
There was a silence, before he heard Yuri stutter. "A-A weapon? You want a weapon? We found a weapon here once."
Ichigo frowned. "Not any old weapon Yuri."
Yuri beamed. "It isn't! I sensed reiatsu wreathing around it! Maybe it's a soul reaper sword?"
The teen's brows knitted tightly together. A zanpakuto found out here randomly in Kusajishi without an owner? That's…odd. He didn't even consider using someone else's zanpakuto. Was that even possible? No. Of course not. The zanpakuto was special to the owner only.
But hey, why not check this 'zanpakuto' out, after all, it wouldn't do much harm. He'd just have to explore all his options. Besides, the night was still young, and the others seemed to still be sleeping, since there was no sign that they had come looking for him.
"Alright then…" Ichigo said, offering Yuri a ride on his back. "Show me where this weapon is."
"Back at our old house! I'll show you the way!" Yuri said excitedly.
The teen didn't understand how she could find so much energy. Maybe she was just eager to get out of the place. Well, he couldn't blame her. He stared disdainfully at the place. Good riddance.
Following Yuri's directions, Ichigo flashstepped his way through Rukongai, arriving to one of the old abandoned rotting houses. Yuri hopped off his back and skipped to the house, happy to be home, while Ichigo followed.
"Zabuto said it was junk, but he can't sense reiatsu like I can!" Yuri said, taking off one of the wooden planks that covered the floor.
Ichigo peered in, noticing that the sword underneath the plank did indeed look very much like a zanpakuto. How odd. What had it been doing out there in the middle of nowhere? Even if Ichigo could never materialize its shikai or whatever, at least it seemed to have enough reiatsu to not snap in two like the previous crap Ichigo had been wielding.
He bent down and wrapped his hand around the red handle. He felt weird. His head thudded. Then he screamed.
Rukia woke up from one of her usual nightmares, panting in fear. She wrapped her arms around her shivering body in an attempt to comfort herself and that everything was fine. She calmed herself by listening to the breaths of her sleeping comrades. They were lucky that their sleep was undisturbed.
Rukia's eyes travelled to each one of the beds, gradually feeling her breathing slow and her heart beat lessen. But the calm was ruined when she noticed Ichigo's bed was empty. She sprung up, ignoring the head-rush and touched the mattress. It was cold. Ichigo had been out for a long time.
She searched for his reiatsu outside the barrier, her nerves grating when she felt it flare suddenly, the feeling of it drenched with unimaginable pain. It rang up and down Rukia's spine, and a frozen feeling suddenly came over her.
"Everyone. Everyone, get up." She didn't raise her voice, but it was strained enough for everyone to start stirring.
Her loud footsteps woke everyone up for good, some of the soul reapers letting out moans of protests while others demanded what was going on. But the reiatsu coming towards them made them spring out of their beds. Most with confusion, but some with horror.
Rukia opened the door. She stepped outside. Everyone piled out after her. She tried to stare unfeelingly at the person in front of her. The person's dead and unfocused eyes stared blankly back. It felt like forever until someone broke the silence. Rukia breathed with short pants, afraid she would keel over and die if she moved an inch.
"Kurosaki-kun?" Orihime squeaked from behind Rukia.
The petite soul reaper's fragile calm shattered as the name was uttered. Ichigo drew the zanpakuto he wore at his belt wrap, staring unfeelingly at Rukia and marching towards her. Rukia knew. Mayuri was laughing in Ichigo's eyes. The scientist would enjoy her despair. He would use every drop of emotion she had for this person and fulfil his plans. He had found the perfect way to torture her. Her ultimate punishment.
Ichigo held the sword facing downwards to his right side, ready to call out the zanpakuto's name.
Rukia couldn't contain herself, screaming so loud her throat was scraped raw. "Ichigo, don't!"
He spun the weapon in a repetitive circling motion. "Rankle the seas and heavens, Nejibana."
Omigawd! Don't you guys just loooove cliffhangers, because I do!
Also, I'm thinking of posting a new fic called "I Hate This Part". Of course, I'll alternate between this one and the new fic. It's more Ichiruki centred sadly for Shiro fans, but it does have him in the story, just less. It's a little more focused on romance, as it's set in an alternate universe.
Anyway, hope you enjoyed this chappy and please please review! 8D