Not What it Seems

by Emily Bones

Neve is a girl who loses things. She lost her family, her home, her faith in other people and all for reasons she doesn't know or understand. That will change when the Cullens take her into their own family. Follow her as she starts to find things again.

7. Screw Logic

Chapter 7! I am sorry it took so long, school has started and the exams are hanging over my head. Hope you like!

Screw logic

I felt like I was at the bottom of a dark ocean. The water was pressing against me pushing me down. It took all of my strength to push upwards. To swim through the dark water to the surface. As I did so I heard voices. Whispering and calling to me. They were coming from the surface.

Suddenly I was awake. I realised I was resting on the couch in the sitting room. My stomach was churning like cement mixer. The voices were much cleared now, "Her heartbeat seems regular. Unusually so. There is not a scratch on her either even though she took quiet a fall. Her clothes are soaked in blood but I can't find a cut anywhere. She broke her legs and right arm in several places but they have healed faster than thought possible. Faster than even you Jake," I heard Carlisle murmur his cold hands fluttering over my face.

"Will she turn?" I heard Esme ask concern sparking her voice.

"I am not sure. The bite has healed of its own accord but she is showing no pain what so ever…"

"What are we to do if she does turn? We'll have to move again. And we'll have to start again with training her," Rosalie grumbled.

At that my stomach heaved. My eyes snapped opened and my stomach heaved again. Everyone was in the living room apart from Jasper all staring at me, "Neve!" Esme said joyfully. She made as if to hug me but I pushed her away, "Move," I managed to gasp before lurching up. I staggered to the kitchen, (even if I have super fast reactions) I would never make it to the bathroom, grabbed the sides of the kitchen sink and vomited up my cereal bar. For while I dry heaved, my stomach not satisfied with just emptying itself of the cereal bar. A clear liquid that tasted like rotting fruit and was so strong it burnt my tongue like bleach dribbled to the sink below. I could tell it wasn't stomach acid, it was too clean and was set apart from the mess of the cereal bar. I coughed and gagged for a few minutes before wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. I reached for the tap before a pale hand restrained me. I looked up to see the owner of the hand was Carlisle. "Don't… I want to take a sample."

I laughed hollowly, "You wanna take a souvenir Carlisle? Please be my guest."

I turned away to be met by Esme, "How are you sweety?"

"Just peachy Esme, just peachy," I said sarcastically.

"Do you want anything to drink, water, coke?"

"Do you have vodka?" I asked seriously.

"Oh Neve!" Esme laughed.

"I am serious. Or whiskey maybe. I am homesick for Scottish whiskey. It's not like I can get drunk. Trust me I have tried. The whole regeneration crap is the same with my liver. Every time I try to get drunk, the intoxicated cells heal over and over again, destroying any chance of getting shit-faced. Too bad really, life's a bitch already while sober…"

I decided to not drink though and I wandered to the freezer, opened it and pulled out several huge tubs of Ben and Jerry's ice cream and a spoon. I wandered back to the living room sat down on the couch and began my ice cream marathon, staring off in the distance. I felt like I was an outsider watching my life on the cinema screen. It was unreal and I wasn't sure if I was enjoying it.

I felt the couch dip next to me, "Neve-"

"Am currently having a love double affair with Mr Ben and Mr Jerry. Don't talk to me," I said my mouth full.

"I think she's in shock," Jake muttered. He snapped his fingers in front of my face but I didn't blink. I just stuffed my face with more ice cream.

"Yup, and it's real fun. You guys should try it some time," I said in a dead voice.

My mind was on auto. Spewing out sarcastic comments to hide the numbness I was feeling. Nothing else was said for a while. They were waiting probably for the shock to disperse. Some moved away to the kitchen to talk. I just ate. I didn't want to think too hard. After the 3rd ice cream tub it suddenly hit me. The house I was in was filled with vampires. Vampires. VAMPIRES.

I screamed, "Shit!" and dropped my tub where it splattered on the floor.

"What's the matter?" Esme asked. She was the person who had been sitting next to me.

I jumped up and jabbed my finger at her, "You're vampires! Oh my fucking god! You're vampires. This can't be real. I am dreaming. Tell me I am dreaming." I began to pinch myself again and again and was horrified I didn't wake up.

"Now Neve, calm down, we can explain," Esme said in a soothing voice.

"DON'T TELL ME TO FUCKING CALM DOWN!" I screamed. On impulse I kicked the sofa. It flew across the room and smashed into the opposite wall. The only rational part of my mind noted that I was having a full on temper tantrum.

"Woah, she's strong," Emmett murmured.

"Yeah, how fan-fucking-tastic! Why don't we have a fucking party about it?! You guys can get Bloody Marys!" I laughed hysterically at my own joke as I backed into the corner.

They were all frozen in their places watching me. Jasper and Carlisle were the only ones not there. They all had looks of sorrow and shock on their faces as they watched me have a mental breakdown. Esme had her arms out a pleading look on her face, "Neve, we mean no harm. Please just let us explain."

I didn't say anything. I just backed into the corner and put my head between my knees. I concentrated on breathing. In, out, in, out. 1, 2, 1, 2. I muttered to myself, "Why me? What the fuck did I do? I am just a kid. Just a kid…" Tears pricked my eyes. In that moment I wanted my parents. My real parents. My real sisters. I wanted them to make this all go away. I wanted to wake up in my room, with all my things. I wanted to go home.

I surreptitiously wiped away my tears and looked up at all of them. They were still staring at me. I took a deep breath and said, "Ok…ok…I think I am alright... No guarantees though. "

They all laughed weakly, relieved that I hadn't completely lost it. "Why don't we do a simple system of questions? I ask you a question and you ask me one?"

"Sure, if you're comfortable with that," Esme said.

I looked round to find that Carlisle and Jasper still weren't here. "Where are Carlisle and Jasper? Shouldn't they be here?"

"Carlisle is analyzing the sample he got earlier and Jasper is… upstairs in our room," Alice said pain flashing across her face, "he wants to be alone."

"Well I am going to ruin that dream," I muttered. I shot up from my crouching position and streaked up the stairs. I knew where Alice's and Jasper's room was. I tried to open the door but found it locked. I grasped the handle and wrenched. The door broke away from the doorframe, I lay it on the wall next to the door frame and I was met with Alice's 'extra wardrobe'. I sighed and called out, "Jasper is this really necessary?"

"Go away," I heard him snarl.

"Nope," I said. Cracking my knuckles and then rubbing them together I placed my hands at the gap between the floor and the wardrobe and heaved. The wardrobe lifted and I walked forwards balancing it on my hands. I stopped a few feet from the door and dropped the wardrobe. Jasper was out on the balcony looking out over the cliffs. Playing the Emo. Ugh.

"Jasper quit being the tortured soul and get your bum down there."

He turned and I gasped. His eyes weren't gold anymore. They were scarlet and a little intimidating. I swallowed my shock and said, " Woah, Jasper did you get contacts? I like 'em. You should wear them more often."

He scowled, "very funny Neve, go away."

"I know, I am just hilaaaarious, dahling," I quipped in an extra posh voice.

He growled and turned away. I sighed and walked forwards, "Jasper I don't hate you so please don't hate yourself. I forgive you for what you did. And anyway I kinda deserv-"

"Don't, say that you deserved it," he snarled.

I sighed again, "Can you just be depressed later and come down?"

"No."

"Please don't make me use compulsion."

He turned around curiosity sparked his eyes, "Compulsion?"

I smiled, "you'll find out when you get downstairs."

He deliberated for a moment before sighing and walking out from the balcony, "That's my boy!" I said slapping him on the back. He rolled his red eyes and gave a small chuckle.

As I turned with him we found all of the Cullens staring at us. Carlisle looked like an excited puppy, "Compulsion?" he asked.

"I said downstairs," I muttered.

I pushed my way through them feeling their stares. We streaked downstairs and all settled in the sitting room. I curled up on the sofa while grabbing a pillow and hugging it. I was going to need it.

"So Neve compulsion… how does that work?" Carlisle asked eagerly.

I sighed, "It works like this" I said. I looked around the room, "anyone want to be a guinea pig?"

There was a silence, then Edward raised his hand, "I'll do it."

"Okay," I motioned him to come forward. He glided forwards and stopped in front of me, "You don't need to do anything."

"What are you going to make me do?" he asked.

"You'll know soon enough," I mumbled.

"Can I read your mind while doing it?" he asked.

I huffed, "Yeah you can," I said.

I felt the cloud descend but this time didn't fight it off. I stared at him, focusing, "Edward, quit reading my mind," I said my voice instantly turning into double timbre.

The cloud instantly lifted. I smiled triumphantly. "Make me some scrambled eggs, with a coke please."

Edward nodded numbly and walked to the kitchen. Everyone watched astounded. I was a little pleased with myself, "Extraordinary," Carlisle murmured.

"How do you do that??" Nessie asked, excitement dancing in her brown eyes.

"Can I try and stop him?" Emmett said smirking.

"1st question: I just did it. 2nd question: you can try. You won't get very far. He'll only stop when I tell him to," I said.

"I am gonna try," Emmett said.

I shrugged, "As I said, you can try."

He grinned and sloped off to the kitchen. There were a few muttered words, and then the banging of pots. Emmett suddenly flew out of the door and landed on the coach I had kicked earlier, smashing it even more into the wall. "Woah," he said, a little dazedly.

"Told you, he will only stop until I tell him to," I said, picking some lint off the coach.

About 15 minutes later he came back a steaming tray of food. "Set it on the coffee table," I commanded.

He did so and stood back. He blinked and murmured, "That was just strange."

"What was it like?" Carlisle asked.

"It was like being trapped in a paralyzed body," He said, "I was trying to disobey her but my body wasn't following my orders. It was… scary."

"Did you really have to shove me out like that?" Emmett said his face angry.

"I am sorry, I did not mean to do that," Edward murmured, "You were in my way…"

"Have you ever tried it on us?" Esme asked.

Silence. What should I say? Maybe the truth. "Once," I said, "You won't remember it. Because I asked you to forget it."

"Oh… did anything happen?"

I told them of the whole kitchen scene at the beginning of my first week. They all nodded and seemed to understand. "Why don't you use it more often?" Alice asked.

I frowned, "I don't like taking peoples free will away. Everyone deserves their control over their body no matter how they use it," there was another awkward silence before I said, "My turn! Do you kill people?"

Some of them flinched at that but Carlisle said calmly, "No we hunt animals. That's why our eyes are gold. Jasper's eyes have turned red because…" he trailed off.

"Because he took at suck at me," I clarified, "That explains the whole vegetarian thing. How about we have a deal that I won't be squeamish about anything you say and then you won't be squeamish about anything I say. Fair deals?"

"Ok," everyone murmured.

"Next question," I demanded.

"How does the healing thing work? Like how far do you have to go before you… die?" Jake asked.

"I once cut my thumb off, chopping carrots…I grew another thumb in place," I said a little sheepishly.

They all stared at me, "Are you shitting me?" Jake breathed.

I raised my eyebrow at him, "No, I am not er… 'shitting' you. That would be frankly gross."

"I mean are you kidding me?" Jake rephrased, as the others smirked slightly.

"No I am not kidding you," I said simply, "When I sliced my thumb off another one grew in place. I am not sure if that extends to larger parts of my body…I have never wanted to try after that."

"So you can re-grow limbs, reject vampire venom. I am especially impressed with that. The sample of vomit was laced with Jasper's venom which just showd that your body can reject it like most poisons. No human I know can do that, you are truly one of a kind. You can heal from burns, heal from being attacked…"

"How do you know about that?" I said sharply.

"Edward's a mind reader remember," Bella murmured, "he heard what Brianna was thinking when she saw you in the parking lot the next day. We didn't say anything because you didn't say anything. You should have though."

"I was handling it," I mumbled, to change the subject I said, "Not only that I have 'died' 4 times over…or is it 5 now?" I air quoted around the word died.

"What do you mean?" Carlisle asked his eyes sparked with a burning curiousity.

"The first time was when I was 14 a few months before the fire," I said, "I was walking home from school when I went out into the path of a speeding truck. My head did a 180 degree turn. Thankfully I managed to turn my head back round before they noticed anything. Second time was the fire. Three and four were the times I tried to kill myself. Three was when I 'fell' from the Crags on Arthur's Seat, four was when I jumped in front of a train and five was just now."

"Just think… just think of what your blood could do to countless of lives! You could be a life saver Neve! 1 gallon of your blood could change the course of medical science forever!" Carlisle gasped.

"And that's exactly why I am not telling the world about me," I sighed and shuffled out of the kitchen, "I don't want to be hooked up to a blood donating machine for the rest of my life. I don't mean to be selfish but I'd like to live my life outside a hospital."

He frowned and was about to open his mouth when Esme hushed him, "It's her body love."

"Did you have any medical conditions before?" Edwards asked.

"Yeah, I had really bad asthma. Couldn't run 10 metres without wheezing. Now I am as healthy as a horse. Now my turn. What vampire legends are true and which are false?"

"All the ridiculous ones are false," Carlisle said, "the holy water, crucifixes, garlic, having to be invited into a mortals home…"

"What about the sunlight one?"

"We do react in sunlight just not in the way you would expect. We'd have to show you one day. It's better that way."

"How do you fight off our powers?" Jasper asked.

"Well I feel them first. You feel like an ocean. Edward feels like a big storm cloud around my head. To fight you off I… push? Or bat you away mentally. That's the best way I can describe it."

"Huh that's different. My talent is to shield people's mind from mental abilities. It's an automatic thing and I don't 'feel' other people's powers in as much detail as you," Bella said, "I wonder what will happen if I use it on you. Can I try?"

"Sure," I said.

Bella focused on me. I felt nothing. She was frowning but I still felt nothing, "uuuhh… are you doing it yet?" I asked.

"I… can't… its like trying to look into the sun. Trying to protect you is against my instincts. It's weird," Bella said frowning.

"Maybe it's because I have already got my own defences. Don't fret," I said smiling.

"How come any vision I have of you is never right?" Alice asked a look of frustration.

"I don't know," I said honestly, "Maybe I am accidentally screwing around with your visions."

"Maybe that's the case," Carlisle murmured, "Maybe you are instinctually messing up Alice's visions to make yourself unpredictable. Like with the werewolves."

"Ok I am gonna ask 2 questions. What's the deal with the werewolves and what's the deal with the powers? Do you all have them?"

"I am a werewolf or a shape-shifter," Jake said, "Long story short, I was part of a pack but I imprinted on Nessie so I move around with the Cullens. I do not shape-shift during a full moon and silver bullets don't affect me. I can change whenever I want."

"Oh… what's imprinting?" I asked, slowly getting more and more confused.

"It's when I have an unbreakable bond with another soul. It's like true love at first sight but much stronger," Jake said his eyes glued to Nessie. I was about to ask for more details but found that I didn't need to. The way he looked at Nessie was indescribable. Just by looking at his face convinced me that Jake would throw himself in front of a train, be dipped in acid, and dropped from a cliff, if that made Nessie happy. It was … creepy. Like he had no choice.

"What about the powers?" I said dragging my eyes away from them, looking at Carlisle.

"Edward, Bella, Jasper, Alice and Nessie are all talented. The rest of us are just… normal. If you can call us normal," he said laughing hollowly.

"What do you do then?" I asked Nessie.

"Can I show you? Don't block me out," Nessie said.

"Ok," I said nervously, not sure what to expect.

She walked around the couch and towards me. She pressed her fingers against my skin and I gasped. A large blanket wrapped around my head and images began to flash through my head. It was like I was in Nessie's mind. Nessie was lying on a big russet coloured fur ball. She was looking out over a meadow. Clumps of snow clung onto the grass. All around her were people. Pale people with beautiful features, some of their eyes were gold others were red. I recognized the Cullens interspersed among the crowd. I gasped audibly because I saw other furry coloured hulks standing with them. When I looked closer I saw the large muzzles and the pricked ears. Wolves, my mind murmured. Across the meadow were another group of people, all clothed in black and white cloaks. All of them had red eyes. I could sense the fear in this memory. I knew it was a memory because what else could be? It was far too detailed to be anything else and the fear was too strong.

As I looked at this image a pang of recognition sparked through me. I recognized the people across the meadow. Their image made my heart pump with fear. But I couldn't place them anywhere.

The fear brought my natural defences on. I shoved at the blanket wrapped around my head. The image disappeared as quickly as it had come. I was sitting n the couch again, Nessie's hand on my arm. There was silence for a few minutes before I muttered, "Woah," I couldn't think of anything else to say.

"What did I feel like?" Nessie asked excitedly.

"A blanket, all around my head," I said gesturing to my head.

I wondered why she had showed me that particular image. Maybe she knew about the people in black and white.

"Why did you block me out?" she asked a frown now marring her excitement.

"Instinct, your blanket was rather suffocating," I said. Well it's almost the truth.

There was another long pause while they digested what I just said. I realised how much had changed in the last hour or so. The world was looking entirely different than from what it was this morning. I knew that form this point on my life will never be the same again. Heck it has never been what it was supposed to be. This was just another spiral into the decent of madness.

"How- how old are all of you?" I asked. This was the question I was apprehensive about. I was about to b seriously freaked.

"Well I am the oldest. I was born around the 1640s. At that time, dates weren't really followed," Carlisle said, "Jasper's the second oldest, born in 1843. Esme was born in 1895. Edward and Alice are next born in 1901. Rosalie in 1915. Emmett also in 1915. Bella in 1987. Jake in 1990 and Nessie in 2006."

I stared at them, "you are serious right?" They all nodded. "Well fuck me. Just think, if you adopted me earlier you guys could have helped out with my history homework."

They laughed but I still didn't understand something. "You said Nessie was born in 2006 while I was born in1999 yet she looks older than me. How's that possible. She's only 10!"

"Well that is also a long story but Neve, Nessie isn't our sister… she's our daughter," Edward said pulling both Nessie and Bella close to her.

"…Oh…" was all I managed to come up with.

Obviously thinking I was about to freak Bella rushed though the story, "when I met Edward, I was 17 and human. We dated until I was 18 and finished with high school before getting married. I was still human at this point and we had a proper honeymoon. I fell pregnant with Nessie and we had to go back home. When I had her I was also transformed. Nessie is half vampire, half human in a nutshell. For the first 3 years she grew really fast before she was fully grown. You are right she is only ten years old but she looks around 19."

They let me digest this. Now that I looked closer I saw what they meant. Nessie had Edward's hair but had Bella's eye shape. There were loads of other similarities that seemed so obvious to me now that I wondered how I could have missed them. Suddenly out of the corner of my eye I saw Jasper's face screw up in agony. I snapped my head round and asked, "Jasper, are you ok?"

He grimaced and said through gritted teeth, "I… am… not… sure."

"You look like you are gonna be sick or something," I said wondering what the hell was going on.

He continued to grimace before finally mumbling, "Excuse me," before rushing to the kitchen sink to throw up. A lot of people seem to be doing that these days.

"Jasper!" Alice cried, "You'll need a face wipe," she said before rushing off.

I saw nearly everyone roll their eyes before going into the kitchen. Jasper was still leaning over the sink, coughing and spluttering. I saw the sides of the sink were splattered with red. I didn't need to ask what it was.

Alice and Carlisle were the closest; Alice rubbing Jasper's back murmuring comforting things while Carlisle looked intently into the sink. Once Jasper was done and moved away from the sink and Carlisle had taken his place.

Jasper wiped his mouth with a cloth Alice proffered, "I don't think I have been that sick since I was a human," he mumbled.

"Sorry," I said, "It sucks though."

"Extraordinary," Carlisle murmured. He reached into his pocket and pulled a pair of rubber gloves. Putting them on, he wiped his finger along the side of the sink. He took a sniff of it and then a tentative lick.

"Oh, that is lovely Carlisle, are you trying to make me sick?!" I exclaimed, clapping my hands over my eyes.

He ignored me and took another sniff of my vomited blood. "Smells the same, tastes the same… "he murmured more to himself than anyone else. He suddenly whipped round snapping the gloves off. "Neve, would you mind if I take a blood sample? It would save a lot of questions."

"Sure whatever," I mumbled. He whisked away, while we all looked at Jasper.

"Are you ok?" Bella asked.

"Yes I'm fine now," Jasper murmured, "Felt like I had just swallowed a bottle of acid though." I noticed his eyes were back to their normal shade of gold.

"Did I taste that bad?" I joked lamely. He gave me a tight smile. "Has that ever happened before," I asked.

"No, never," Edward said, "We only vomit when for some unfathomable reason we eat food. Vomiting up blood is just unheard of."

"What's human food like for you?" I asked suddenly curious.

"Gross, disgusting, vile," were the words spewed out by everyone except Jake.

"I think it's alright," he mumbled.

I held out my hand for a high five, "join the club, we've got T-shirts," I said.

As he slapped his gigantic hand against mine, Carlisle entered the room carrying his tools of torture. "This will only take a few minutes," he said readying the needle.

I looked away as I held out my right arm and rolling up my sleeve. As he took my blood, I asked, "Whose turn is it to ask a question? You or me?"

"I think it's our turn," Esme said.

"When did the changes come?" Edward asked.

"Around 13/14. Just when I hit puberty. It was little things at first. I got my homework done faster, I was finding running easier, stuff that seemed to weigh tons before weren't so bad anymore. The first time I used compulsion was when a kid at school was pissing me off. He was picking on a kid half of his size. He was doing the normal shit that cowardly bullies do. Ripping up his homework, breaking his glasses, calling him names. Nobody was doing anything about it. Just watching. So I walked up and told him to stop. I don't know what came over me. I knew that if I asked… no ordered him to stop the, shit-face would stop. And he did. I was known for a hero for a couple of days before everyone finally forgot about it. But I didn't forget. I practised with different people at school. Teachers, students, even did it to the headmaster. Ordered him to dismiss class fro the rest of the day an hour after school started."

I laughed with nostalgia, remembering the days when I thought my sudden superhero status was a blessing. When I thought I could be queen of the world with one word said. Ha. What a joke.

"What happened on the night of the fire?" Carlisle suddenly asked. He had stopped taking my blood and was starting to take out Petra dishes and slides to analyze the red stuff.

I froze, heart pounding. "No," I said through gritted teeth.

"Neve, we read the police report. It didn't make sense. The things you told the police don't make sense. We need the real story. It's time to stop being scared of the past," he said looking at me intently.

"That's all fucking fine and dandy for you to say but what about me? I have been trying to forget that night for 2 years and I still have nightmares about it. The smell of smoke means death to me. I don't want to tell you. Comprende?" I said hoping that would end the subject. It didn't.

"You will probably feel better about it when you get it all out. You can't bottle it up forever," Esme said smiling encouragingly at me.

I looked at her and saw the true care in her eyes. She didn't want me to be hurt even if that meant doing the one thing I hated the most. As I gazed into her eyes, I truly thought of my own parents and what they would have wanted for me. They wouldn't have wanted the girl I had become. Lashing out at anyone who tried to show me affection. They would have wanted me to keep being a happy however impossible it may seem. So maybe telling the cullens the night that truly changed my world forever was a way of letting out all the frustration, anger and sadness out of my straining heart. They wanted to help me. They considered me one of them.

I sighed and said, "It happened on a spring evening. I was one of the most content girls in the world. I had not idea that my world, everything that was normal to me would be destroyed forever…"

OOOOOO! Flashback continues next chapter. Every place mentioned is real. Thank you to twilight source for the dates. Would have spent ages flicking through the books but was saved. Go check it out at . AWESOME fansite. If you haven't worked it out it is the year 2016. Do you like this? Was it good? Please tell me! A bit corny in places and don't think it is as good as my other chapters but you may think differently. I will try to be faster.

Lots of love

SS