A/N: Finally, onwards!

7 Pots and Kettles

The second ride to Ranger's quarters was an upgrade from the previous. This time I had a bathrobe and I was riding shotgun. I was almost warm.

Ranger said nothing during the ride. When I decided to open my mouth, he turned on the car radio. Classical.

At his apartment he left me waiting on his sofa, ordering to stay until he returned.

I actually waited. Somewhere in the middle of this disastrous situation I had subconsciously started to lean on the fact that perhaps Ranger's initial intention wasn't to end my days and the thought was now at last surfacing. And as much as I hated to admit it, I did own my life to his "company". I should offer my gratitude to him. Plus, dare I even think about it, I could profit from Rangemen. They'd watch my back if needed and I'd give them a reasonable share of my skip fees.

Ah, Ranger was taking his time. I slumped on the couch.

A conversation woke me. It was Ranger and another muscle-bound man around the kitchen aisle.

"I believe she's in shock. O'Brien attacked her, though it seems he didn't manage to do any physical damage. According to Santos, she appeared shaken, acting irrationally after the encounter. Not long after that someone had turned her home into a mess, and she was lying on her floor, lucid."

Then, "Could you give her a sedative?"

The other man murmured something, shuffling through a thing resembling a medical kit.

My eyes widened into saucers. Ranger wanted to drug me? The bastard. Here I was, ready to try a civilized conversation, even thank him, while he plans to render me unconscious. And then sell my kidneys? I doubted that the Dr. Mengele there practiced some serious doctor ethics.

So in another escape attempt, the men's back to me, I tippy-toed my way to the front door, finding it unlocked. And the hallway was empty! I took the stairs, cursing the seven floors. Finally I landed my feet on the parking lot and made a quick dash to the lot's door.

Except the POS of a door wasn't opening when I jumped, waved and practically kept a short aerobics class in front of it.

It didn't operate on motion detectors.

Shit. I didn't have time to find out if there was another door out.

Maybe I could crash this one open. I turned and eyed the vehicles.

"Hi, Stephanie."

Someone had appeared to rain on my parade.

"Lester."

"Got tired of Ranger already?"

"Yes. He's… persistent."

Lester looked around the spacious garage and glided his fingers over an SUV's roof next to him. "You planning to go somewhere?"

We both knew the answer to that, so I said nothing.

"Shouldn't you take a shower first? Would make you feel better."

"As you can see, I already took a shower." I sighed. "So I shall not pass?"

I felt defeated, pathetic. Must've looked like it too. Weighing my shoulders down, the heavy robe was enhancing the rag doll impression I was giving.

"Sorry."

"Would it be that horrible to let me go? I'm sure you have plenty of better things to do than babysit me. No one would even know how I left."

"Uh. The cameras."

"Oh. Of course."

"You don't have to return to Ranger, though. Maybe you'd like to meet us instead."

"And by us you mean..?"

"The Rangemen."

There was no need to ponder my options, I followed Lester to the fourth floor.

"This is our break room. Guys, this is Stephanie Plum."

Lester stood back to give me space to enter the room filled with men in black.

In my mind I had pictured exactly what I was now seeing, and yet, when suddenly surrounded by the fit Rangemen tribe, I was speechless. I felt flustered. Hot. I tried to scoff at my lustful glee and nodded a forced greeting. They were individuals, after all. Having their break. They didn't need my objectification. But if names were given, they flew past me.

Lester gave me a cup of coffee and guided to sit me on a sofa. He eyed my dazed appearance.

"You must be cold. Here, let me."

Before I could protest, he took my legs into his lap and curled his fingers around the ankles. It was an awkward position. I stayed stiff as a stick, afraid that the bathrobe would part. Lester however found such a spot in my heel that I soon let out a long moan and forgot the critical clothing situation. I surrendered my neck over the sofa's armrest.

The men's quiet chatter and the hot cup of coffee added to the comfort. A girl could get used to this.

"I never apologized for tazing you," I said after a while.

"You were defending yourself. Nothing to apologise for."

I looked at him through half-closed eyes. He was staring right back, looking serious. I blushed for some odd reason, became ashamed of my blushing and then blushed even more. Jesus.

Then the door opened. It was only me who jumped at the sight. Others merely watched when Ranger stepped forward and focused his eyes onto me and Lester.

Behind him was Mengele. He had a syringe with him.

Lester groaned. "Always the subtle one."

The man behind Ranger started to laugh. "I think she's calm enough."

"What do you think you're doing, Santos?" Ranger asked. His expression and the tone of his voice didn't belie emotions, but the spoken words made it known that he was irritated.

"Offered some civilized company to Miss Plum here. Unlike others."

"Mats, 6 A.M."

The air around us tensed. What was "mats"? A code?

I looked at their interaction with interest. Lester went back to his massaging, but I guessed his chin was a bit too high for Ranger's liking.

Ranger soon chose to look at me. I dropped my gaze to Lester's fingers.

"When you're finished, bring her back to seven," Ranger eventually stated and made a move to leave.

"Do I have to?" I whispered to Lester.

"I'll come with you."

Ranger turned back to us. "Santos. As a disciplinary action, you're suspended for two weeks."

"What, because of me?" I asked. "No need to. I want to leave this place right now. Problem solved."

"Not possible."

"Not possible?" Lester released my legs. I guess I emitted frustration that could lead to senseless behaviour, something that Lester had already once witnessed.

"We'll have our discussion first," Ranger replied, only his lips moving.

"But there's nothing to discuss."

"You're coming with me, now."

I took Lester's handcuffs and a made quick move to cuff myself to an office chair nearby. "I repeat, I'm not going anywhere with you. I stay here."

"Santos, the key!"

I looked at Lester. He hesitated.

"The chair isn't irreplaceable." Ranger then whispered, his voice a bit menacing now. He walked toward me.

Hm. A rather drastic action to wreck a chair. Unless he was going to chop off my wrist.

I scowled, crouched, ready to defend myself.

The fight never got started, though. The door opened and a leather-clad female entered the room. She was fit as a Rangeman. An expensive perfume invaded the air as she strode forward, mastering sky-rocketing high heels like they were comfortable sneakers. Her blonde hair was in a bun, high-lighting her sharp cheek bones.

"You busy?" she asked, looking at me with no real interest. "I came to discuss the Saturday's distraction."

Ranger took a glance at me and decided a more important issue was at hand, for he nodded and led her out of the room.

"Is she a skip?" I heard her asking when the door closed after them. A reasonable question. I was not having the finest moment of my life.

"Lester, if you will?" I rattled the cuffs.