note the change in rating. also: trigger warning for hints at past sexual abuse.

Hours later, the party was slowly starting to wind down. Ziva and Ray were dancing, his hands resting on her back while she had hers on the back of his neck, looking up into his eyes and getting lost in them.

"Today was great." Ray softly said, brushing his nose against hers shortly. Ziva smiled up at him, nodding.

"It was. I was so nervous before the ceremony started, I thought I was going to faint." she admitted, allowing him to turn them slowly to the soft music playing. She looked over his shoulder and saw Abby and McGee dancing close together. Abby was resting her head on his shoulder, and Ziva wasn't sure if it was merely the late hour that had worn her out and made her tired and cuddly. She hadn't pushed the issue further when they had included Tim in the wedding party, but she knew that he and Abby had a past, had seen it herself in the NCIS elevator on the day Mike Franks had died. But she had gotten the feeling that Abby didn't want to have a relationship with him, even though McGee may have been interested. At least he had been, lately, Ziva had gotten the feeling that Tim was getting over his crush on the Forensic Scientist. Which she had considered to be a good thing, until now. She didn't want either one of her friends to get hurt.

"Have you seen Tony?" Ray asked her, looking around slightly, and Ziva had to bite her lip to keep herself from laughing. "What?"

"Last I saw him was after Malachi had escorted my father out. He seemed to be slightly drunk and was trying to hit on your cousin."

"He was hitting on Andy?" Ray's eyes bulged slightly and Ziva grinned.

Ray shook his head, chuckling softly. Just then McGee looked down and saw Abby fighting to stay awake. He whispered something in her ear before slowly removing her arms from around his waist. He nodded towards Ziva and Ray and then gently dragged the Goth out of the room and towards the stairs. Ziva frowned slightly and hoped that they would be staying in their separate rooms. Before she could muse further on the behavior of her two friends, Ray bent down to whisper in her ear.

"What do you say? It's past midnight, I think no one would be mad if we slipped away now." he muttered and she felt her heart speed up in anticipation. She swallowed thickly, leaning back and nodding. On their way out, they ran into Gibbs, and Ziva felt herself blushing to her toes when he looked at them with a knowing smirk. He didn't say anything, though, merely raised his glass of bourbon in their direction and then let them pass, though Ziva could feel his eyes on her back still when they got into the elevator. Ray was drumming his fingers against the railing while his new wife wiped her sweaty hands on her dress. This was ridiculous; she had nothing to be nervous about. Once at their floor, Ray opened the door to their room, standing in the way and not letting Ziva get through.

"Hands around my neck, hold on tight." he told her, and she rolled her eyes at him, but obliged. He bent down and swept her legs out, lifting her up and carrying her over the threshold and into the room. Ziva expected him to let her down immediately inside, but he carried her to the bed, gently placing her down before turning to close the door. She got up and reached up to take out the pins that had kept her hair up most of the day. She shook her head, causing her curls to fall to her shoulders, and when Ray turned back around to face her, his jaw dropped and she felt herself blushing yet again.

"What?" she asked, and watched him swallow thickly.

"You're gorgeous." he whispered, slowly walking to her and taking her face into his hands, scanning her features as if he hadn't seen her in months.

"So you have told me twice today already." she reminded him, her voice dropping to a whisper when he leaned in and brushed his lips over hers in a gentle caress.

"I can't help it, it's the truth." he muttered before kissing her again, wrapping his arms around her waist, and Ziva found herself responding to the kiss. Her hands at her sides grew restless and she reached up, burying them in Ray's hair and pressing herself against him. She felt one of his hands leave her back and going to her hip as the other went up to tangle in her hair and she sighed against his mouth. "I can't believe-" Ray muttered between kisses, "that we're actually married now. Feels like a dream."

"I know what you mean." Ziva responded, brushing his jacket over his shoulders before loosening his tie and starting to unbutton his shirt, kissing the newly exposed skin. Just as she was pulling the hem out of his pants, Ray gently grabbed her face and pulled her up, kissing her again.

"Turn around." he muttered, and Ziva swallowed before doing it. He kissed her neck and she felt him slowly lowering the zipper of her dress. Anticipation was rising up inside of her again and her breathing quickened. Just then, Ray cursed softly and she couldn't help but laugh softly. His lips felt soft on her shoulder.

"You did this to torture me, didn't you?" he growled, and she bit her lip to keep from laughing out loud again. Instead, she nodded, turning her head so she was looking at him.

"Of course. Where would have been the fun in a dress without corset?" she grinned at him and he stuck out his tongue shortly before giving her a quick peck on the lips. He disappeared again and she felt his hand run down her spine, tracing the lacing.

"Ok, this sounds really stupid, but… where the hell do I start?" he asked her sheepishly, sounding really confused.

"Abby tucked the ends into the lacing, they should be down somewhere." she told him, trying to look over her shoulder. Her husband was wearing a slight frown as hetraced her spine again, sending a shiver racing down it.

"Ha!" he called out in triumph as he finally spotted the ends of the strings and carefully started undoing them. "How long did it take to get you into this?" he asked her, his fingers tracing over her newly exposed skin, making Ziva shiver again and again.

"Long enough." she shrugged, her breath hitching when he reached the line where normally her bra would be. Ray seemed to notice, because he stopped unlacing her and bend down to kiss her skin. "Stop teasing me." she muttered, closing her eyes and leaning back into his touch.

"But that's my favorite part."

She felt him grin against her skin and a soft moan left her mouth. Before she realized it, he had undone the remaining lacing and her dress fell to the floor, leaving her standing there in her underwear and heels, with her back still to him. Ray stood and wrapped his arms around her from behind, kissing her neck. His skin was burning hot in contrast to the cool air of the room and Ziva felt like he was setting her on fire. She slowly turned around in his arms, looking up at him shyly.

"Hi." she whispered.

"Hi." he returned, a soft and happy grin tugging at his lips as he traced her collarbone with his index finger. As he reached down to cup her breast, Ziva moaned deeply before grabbing his hands and walking backwards to the bed, tugging him with her. Her legs hit the wooden frame and she sat down, her hands undoing his belt and pulling his pants down. She kicked off her heels as he got rid of his pants and shoes before laying down next to her, his head propped up on his one of his hands, the other tracing down from her breastbone to her panties, making her arch her back into his touch. She grabbed his head and pulled him in for an urgent kiss, gasping against his lips when his hand slipped into her panties, brushing over her. "Easy there." Ray smiled, flicking his wrist and sending shocks of pleasure through her. It never ceased to amaze him just how responsive she was. Though it had taken some time until he got in any position to realize that. After what had happened to her, she needed to completely trust the person she was with, and even though she insisted she trusted him, the flashbacks she had gotten early into their relationship had made him doubt that statement at times. He knew it wasn't something she could control, but he was never able to shake the pain when he sent her into another one and saw firsthand her fear and pain.

Ziva hand wrapping around his wrist pulled him from his musings. His finger stilled immediately in her grip, but it lacked the iron strength she used when she slipped into a flashback. Looking into her eyes, he saw them clouded with lust, not fear, and breathed a sigh of relief.

"I believe I told you to stop teasing." she muttered, a mischievous glint in her eyes. He shrugged.

"Huh. Short memory span." he returned and leaned in for another kiss. Just after her tongue started tracing his, Ziva somehow managed to turn him onto his back and sit down on him, pulling his hands over his head with a triumphant grin. He gave a weak attempt to get out of the position, but found he rather enjoyed the view she presented him with. She leaned down again, kissing him, her breast rubbing against his chest. Her hips rocked slightly against him, brushing against the tip of his erection and he groaned into her mouth. Now it was her time to smile and her hand to travel south. When she touched him through the material of his boxers, Ray threw his head back and clenched his eyes shut.

"You may wanna," he pressed out when he felt her skin against him shortly after, "stop that." And just like that, her touch vanished. Her weight left him and when he opened his eyes, he saw her removing her panties before her fingers tugged down the waistband of his underwear. He couldn't help the moan that left him when she ran her soft hand over him again before removing his underwear and throwing it into the general direction hers had taken shortly before. Ziva sat back down on his abdomen, and he felt the moisture between her legs against his heated skin. She leaned down for another kiss, one he greedily returned, twisting his hand into her long curls while the other ran down her back. She had braced herself with her hands next to his head, and again he felt her hips shift, rocking into him, and this time, he couldn't help but counter the motion, causing her breath to hitch in her throat. Her hands traced down his chest, nails digging into his skin slightly, adding a tiny amount of pain to the pleasure. She felt his hand leave her back and squeeze her thigh roughly, his body shifting under her to move her down, and she broke the kiss. Staring into his eyes, she allowed herself to relax and shifted her weight so she could run a hand through his hair.

"I love you." she whispered, her voice barely audible between their harsh breathing.
"I love you, too." Ray returned, leaning up to kiss her again. Ziva gathered her courage and slowly rolled off him, pulling him with her, not letting up in the kiss. She could feel his arousal pressing against her thigh and shivered in anticipation. He was hovering over her, letting up in the intensity of the kiss immediately. One of his hands found her hip and he gently stroked her skin in a calming motion before he opened his eyes, looking into hers. "You sure?" he asked her gently, drawing up his hand to stroke her cheek. She turned her face into the touch and kissed his palm, waiting for the well-known feelings of anxiety and panic to start up like they had often enough in the past.

She had liked to be in control during sex before Somalia. After, it had become a necessity. It had taken months for her to not panic when Ray accidentally trapped her, for her not to freak when she could feel his erection through his jeans when they were making out. She never blamed him for her flashbacks, and they had talked a lot about what could be possible triggers for her. Once they found something that set off a flashback, Ray would go out of his way to avoid it. It was only recently that she found herself comfortable enough with him to relinquish the upper hand. And if her suspicion was correct, the first time she had done so had ended up being the time that got her pregnant with his child.

"Yes." she nodded, reaching up to wrap her arms around his neck. "I trust you, my love."

Ray leaned down, resting his forehead against hers as he shifted his weight and slowly started entering her. Despite the flare of pleasure, Ziva forced herself to keep her eyes open, to watch his face and the emotion playing on it. She felt his hot breath on her face and inhaled, relaxing as the familiar scent of his cologne and sweat filled her nostrils. Once he was completely sheathed in her, he kissed her again, and Ziva allowed her eyes to flutter close shortly as he started moving inside her. Her hands wrapped around his biceps, nails digging in as she arched her back to change the angle slightly. She gasped as he hit her just right, her legs wrapping around his waist in an effort to get even closer. She let go with her hands, reaching up with one to twist it in his hair and pull him in for more kisses, other stroking over his back, feeling the muscles work under his tight skin. Ray broke their lip-lock to trail open mouthed kisses down her jaw line and neck to suck on her skin where her neck met her shoulder, teeth teasing her flesh. She found she didn't care about the hickey he would surely leave as one of his hands cupped her breast, making her moan his name loudly. She could feel the pleasure building, coiling deep inside her, and the increased urgency of his movements told her her husband was not far behind. She rose slightly to meet his gentle thrusts and before she knew it, she felt her orgasm wash over her, unexpected and strong enough to make her see stars. Her walls clenched around him and it was enough to make Ray join her with a groan, shuddering against her.

She let him roll them over so she was sprawled on him, deeply sated. She sighed softly, kissing his chest before rubbing her face in his neck, trying to catch her breath. Ray pulled out of her and leaned down to grab the comforter so he could cover them, and Ziva cuddled close as soon as he had laid back down. He wrapped his arm around her, kissing her forehead gently.

"I feel like I should say something." she whispered, her eyes closed, her fingers tracing nonsense patterns on his skin.

"Like what?" he returned, his voice husky.

"I have no idea." Ziva admitted and felt his chest rumble with laughter before he kissed the tip of her nose and she couldn't help but smile a little herself.

"Do you know that everyone will know we had sex tonight?" Ray muttered sleepily and Ziva groaned slightly.

"I had managed to push that thought away, thank you very much."

In response, her husband shrugged against her, running his hand through her hair.

"Ray?" she muttered after a while, thinking he had fallen asleep.

"Hm?"

"I have never felt so loved than when I'm with you." she admitted, pressing a tender kiss to his cheek before resting her head on his shoulder. She felt him turn his head so he could look at her face and turned it upwards to look into his eyes. Surprised, she saw the tears shining in them and felt him wrap his arms around her more tightly, pressing her against him.

"I love you, so much." he breathed against her neck and she could feel the tears drop onto her skin and had to close her eyes against her own.

"That's good, because I love you, too." she returned, squeezing his arms in reassurance.

only the epilogue to go =)