(Chat set up between hard suit and Cargo Bay, Users unknown)
2: You and your big mouth.
1: What? What did I do this time?
2: 'It's not as if we'll get attacked by zombie type things and evil plants.' Guess what happened on Feros?
1: You, Shepard and Tali got attacked by Zombie type things and evil plants?
2: Correct. You had to go and jinx it, didn't you?
1: It can't have been that bad.
2: I'll list all the bad things that happened.
1. We got attacked by Thorian Creepers (e.g Plant zombies!).
2. The colony decided to try and kill us as they were under the mindcontrol of the Thorian.
3. I nearly got mauled by an Varren Alpha male.
4. The Thorian, this big massive evil plant, decided to try and kill us. I am now offically off salad for the foreseeable future.
5. We had to ride in a Mako and Shepard nearly drove us off the skywalk. Several times!
6. The Thorian Creepers love to try and vomit on you. And said vomit is acidic.
7. I was on the recieving end of a Krogan Charge.
8. Did I mention Shepard was driving?
1: I rescind my previous statement. That does sound bad. I was going to compare that to Joker bitching and moaning. But I value living...
2: Note to self: Let Joker know what I went though.
1: When are you coming back to the ship?
2: When we've finished making sure everyone is okay and Shepard's recovered from his latest mind 's actually letting Benezia's former lieutenant stay to help the colonists.
1: Could you fill in the gaps please? The Turian is lost.
2: Saren needed the cipher (an understanding of Protheans), The Thorian lived from the Prothean's time and had an understanding. Shiala (the lieutenant) was made as a spokeperson and transferred the Cipher. The Thorian kept her. Saren then sent the Geth to kill the Thorian to stop Shepard from finding the Cipher. When we killed the Thorian, Shiala was freed and we let her go.
1: And how did the Thorian control the colonists.
2: Spores, which it used to mind control them, apparently Exo-Geni knew about the Thorian and that's why they planted Zhu's hope right above it, to examine it.
1: Wait... so the colonists were test subjects. Spirits, I guess Shepard wasn't happy.
2: Hang on we're heading back to the Normandy now. I think after the debriefing, I'll be spending the next hour, cleaning gunk from my armour and having a shower to get rid of the stench.
2: And yeah, Shepard was not a happy bunny.
1: What? Damn it, Kaidan! Stop it with the human sayings.
2: I know, I know. I really should have learned from the kitchen sink incident.
1: Spirits that was embrassing.
2: Hey you nearly killed me off with laughter.
( Chat terminated. Chat resumed 30 minutes later between terminals in the cargo bay.)
1: Sheesh, you don't half stink.
2: I noticed.
1: It's bad for Ashley standing right next to you, but with Turian sense of smell, I think it's the same as what she is smelling.
2: Garrus. Telling your boyfriend that he stinks of god knows what, is not very wise. So please shut up, I'm getting enough flak off Ashley
1: Well I am just several meters away from you, so I can hear all her remarks... now that was immature even by Joker's standards...
2: What? 0:)
1: Putting some of the gunk into her hair.
2: Shh! She hasn't noticed yet.
1: For the record I am not intervening when she introduces a shotgun up your backside.
2: Point taken. Right I'm done, now I'm going to go and hide.
(User 2 Tranferred to crew deck terminal)
1: And here's Shepard on his rounds... oh my.
2: What?
1: Apparently Ashley's little sister thinks Shepard is 'cute' and she wishes he didn't hear that. Fat chance when he was standing right behind her.
2: Did she blush?
1: Yep, Shepard looks a little flattered as well.
1: Oh and Ashley's just gone off to hunt you down.
2: Shit! Gotta hide.
1: Have fun! :P