Lily and her Merry Band of Idiots
In the fantasies that Lily had had as a teen of her wedding night she had imagined it being one of dimmed candlelight and flowers because she had always been a romantic at heart.
What she hadn't imagined was spending it dragging her husband's ludicrously drunk best man away from the bar because he was the very definition of beyond stoned.
"Just one more drink!" Sirius said as he tried in vain to make another grab at the bottle that Remus had levitated out of reach.
"No," Lily replied, tugging both him and her husband away from the bar by the cuffs of their suits.
"I'm a deer!" James agreed with a glazed sort-of-look that would have made her heart skip a beat if he hadn't promptly vomited all over himself.
"You're ridiculous," the bride shook her head as she siphoned off the mess from his blazer with a flick of her wand.
"I'm ri-deer-culous you mean," he corrected her with another hiccup.
"Oh Merlin, you know that he's really stoned when he starts making puns," Remus drawled as Sirius lifted up his leg like a dog, "Oh for God's sake, don't pee on the chair leg Padfoot!"
"I'm marking my territory!" Sirius barked back indignantly.
"Oh for Aprigga's sake Black," Lily grumbled, as James burst into a fit of laughter, "Nobody wants to see that."
Sirius waggled his eyebrow at the redhead, "Is that a challenge, Evans?"
"It's Lily Potter now," James corrected him, "MY WIFE! Oi! Did you hear that?" he shouted out to everybody, "This here is my wife! Lily Fucking Evans Potter is my wife!"
"Merlin's beard, I've married an idiot," Lily muttered beneath her breath, "Come on you lot."
What's a Moony?
"Hey Prongs-ette," Sirius burped as he leaned on her shoulder as they walked down Diagon Alley, "Who'd you reckon is the sexiest out of me and Moony?"
Lily rolled her eyes, "I'm not even going to bother answering that question," she replied smoothly, "You're even more drunk and delusional than usual."
"My head hurts," Moony whined, burying his head into James' blazer.
"Oi, Moony! Keep your hands off my husband!" Sirius barked.
Lily laughed, "Your husband? Jesus Sirius, have you been high this entire time?"
"Since the day I was born, love," he said, his words slurring into each other as he struggled to keep his balance.
"And suddenly his lack of reason makes a whole lot more sense ladies and gentlemen!" James drawled.
"Wait a minute does that make me a lady?" Moony asked blearily.
"It makes you a Moony," Sirius replied with an exaggerated wink.
Lily raised an eyebrow, "What the hell is a Moony?"
"I think I'm going to be sick," Remus grumbled.
"Oi mate, mind the blazer …"
"That, my dear Evans," Sirius said as Remus expelled the contents of his guts over James, "Is a Moony."