Gift Or Torture

Chapter 7

The Discussion

JPOV

I had missed her. I worried she wouldn't phone me, but was pleased she did. However, the second I heard her voice, I wished we were speaking in person. I could hear she wasn't as relaxed as I would have liked, but I was unsure just what she was feeling.

"So you're a vampire. Well, in case you didn't figure it out, I'm a witch," Ginny said.

"I put that much together when I saw Severus pointing a wand at me," I replied, trying to keep it light.

"He has some real issues with trust," she stated. The conversation started out stiff. I wish I knew what she was thinking; for my power to work, I need to be closer to her.

"Are you calling because you want to remain friends?" I finally asked, knowing how pathetic I sounded.

"I think... we need to talk before I make up my mind."

"Ginny, I don't do this whole 'speaking on the phone' thing well, at least not for anything big. I'm an empath and I need to be able to feel what you're feeling. Would you be willing to have this talk in person?" I hoped she would say yes.

"I guess."

"Great! The tea house, then? I can pick you up in about 30 minutes."

"Jasper, it's late, and unlike you I do need sleep. Lots of it in fact, and today was a hard day."

"Right, sorry. Tomorrow after class?" That night had to be one of the longest in my life. Had Alice told me I would look forward to spending time with a human, I never would have believed it possible. But here I was. I won't lie; I missed her. I don't recall feeling as empty as I had on those days she didn't speak with me. I knew I was in love with her. I was never more sure of anything. However, I knew she still had issues with the father of her baby. I wouldn't do to her what Edward did to Bella. I won't make her think that there is a chance for us. I will go on watching her grow old. I will watch her get married to a human when it's time. I will watch her have children with that lucky man; all while wanting to kill him more than any other human ever.

I will find a way to be a part of her world, even if it's only a small part, without making her feel she has to become one of us.

I waited until the last minute to enter the classroom. Like each day while we didn't speak, I took a read of how she was feeling. She was excited, but worried. When I looked at her, I saw a bruise on her forehead and on her elbow. I wanted to know how that happened.

Once class was over, I made my way to her. "Ginny," I said softly.

"Jasper." She smiled up at me.

"What happened? You have a couple of bruises."

"Yes. I thought I covered them pretty well." She reached up to her forehead. "Dr. Cullen didn't tell you?" She seemed surprised.

"Tell me what?" I asked. Carlisle had been working a double shift.

"I was taken to the ER after my bus was in an accident. He was the doctor who checked me out," she explained. I could feel she was comfortable with Carlisle.

"Are you all right?" I asked.

"Merlin, yes. I have been through much worse."

"Worse than a bus accident?" I questioned as we made our way to my car.

"Yes. I lived through a war and fought in the final battle." I could feel pride coming from her. "I wasn't supposed to fight in it, but when I got the chance, I had to go."

I stopped walking and looked at her. "I lied about my age to join the Confederate Army."

Our eyes locked and we both started to laugh. Once we stopped, she spoke, "I'm sorry, I never took an interest in Muggle history."

Could I blame her? No. "During the American Civil War." I could tell she had no clue of the reasons for the war, and I didn't hold it against her. It would have had no effect on her life. We continued to the car.

"Severus says that you're dangerous," she began. I could feel the trust she had in the man's opinion, but there was more. "I think there's more than what he saw in your mind."

I opened the car door and helped her in, then walked around to the driver's side. I got in and put the key in the ignition, turning it so the warm air would start working for her, then I turned and faced her. "Try not to get too scared by what I'm about to tell you. Dangerous doesn't even come close to describing me. I fought in the vampire newborn wars. I have killed more than you could ever dream of. I wish I had a better excuse, but it was at a time in my life when that was the only way of life I knew. It was kill or be killed. Then I was shown I didn't have to live like that. I still spent almost eighty more years feeding off humans, and to this day I still think about killing them." I could feel her fear, but it wasn't as strong as I was expecting.

"But you're willing to spend time with me?"

"I can hear your heart beating, I can hear the blood rushing through your veins, but I don't feel the need or want to drain you." I paused, giving myself the chance to analyze her feelings; she was amazed. "The only time I thought of if was the other day at your place, but it wasn't the want to drink you. It was fear that if you were to bleed, my lust would come out."

"Why me? What's different about me?" she asked.

"I don't know, but I enjoy spending time with you and not wanting to drain you."

"Does my blood smell bad?" She suddenly looked worried.

I realized I never even thought about how she smelled. I reached out and took hold of her wrist, bringing the underside up and inhaled, making her very nervous. "Nothing seems wrong with your scent. The day I brought you to my house was to see if you had the same effect on the others. Had you been with most other vampires, I'm sure you wouldn't have lasted long at all."

"Are you broken somehow?" she asked.

"No, I don't think so." I still hadn't moved the car. "I'm pretty sure it's just you."

She was chewing on her bottom lip, then she stopped, looked at me, and laughed. "Should I be offended or complimented?"

"You should be very careful around me. We don't know what it is abut you, and it's possible it could change at any minute. If I wasn't expecting it, things could end very badly for you." I knew I had to tell her the real risks to being near me.

"But you want to spend time with me. Why?"

"That was a good question. I think it's because you're someone different. I have spent 50 years with my family, and you can only hear their stories and jokes so many times. That's better than being alone, or around other vampires who do feed on humans. I don't want to go back to that way of life."

"You and Dr. Cullen said that you're an empath, too. How does that work?"

"I can feel what others are feeling, and I can manipulate the emotions of those around me."

"Then you could feel how people felt when you were killing them. That's why you don't want to go back to that way of life." She gave an understanding smile.

"Exactly."

"I'm not scared of you, even though I know I should be. I can hear Severus telling me how dumb I'm being because I'm not trembling with fear."

"Why do you let him talk to you like that?" It was something I didn't understand about her.

"It's just his way. He doesn't mean to be mean, he just doesn't deal well with people. He's been hurt and I think he's scared to tell someone that he cares because he's scared they won't care back." I could feel the sadness she felt towards him.

"Do you mind if we don't go to the tea house?"

I could feel disappointment coming from her. "No, I guess not," she replied.

"I thought we could head back to my family's home instead." I just wanted to spend time with her without the distraction of humans.

"Will you tell me more about yourself and your past?"

"Ginny, it's not a nice story," I cautioned as I finally put the car in reverse.

"I grew up in a war, and my story isn't the prettiest. I might be able to handle more than you think." She winked.

"Kid, I think this might be the beginning of a beautiful friendship," I quoted.

"Who are you calling 'kid'?" she asked, feeling insulted.

"I'm 160 years older than you, so you're a kid."

"When does one stop being a kid then?" She looked like she was looking for trouble.

"We'll talk when you're fifty," I teased her.

I forgot to stop and let her use a restroom before hitting the highway. However, I soon felt her discomfort. "What's wrong, Ginny?"

"I have to use the loo," she complained.

Not that I ever looked for one, but I was sure there weren't any between here and the house. "Can you last five minutes?"

"Maybe, if she doesn't kick. If you could just pull over I can go in the bush." Her need was that bad!

"I can't let you do that," I said.

"Why? I'm pretty sure that there's nothing in the bush that would want to eat me that you couldn't deal with." She looked at me, looking totally serious.

"Because you're a lady."

She started laughing. After a few seconds, tears were slipping down her cheeks and she reached across and slapped me. "Don't do that! Don't make a pregnant woman laugh when she needs to pee!" I felt she was in pain and I'm sure I heard a crack from her wrist.

I was confused. "I don't understand. All I said was that -"

"You called me a lady! I can assure you that while I might look like one, or even be able to act like one, I'm really a tomboy at heart."

"Really?" She was radiating happiness.

"I remember asking Mum when I was going to get my penis. I even asked for one once for a birthday present." She wiped a couple more tears away, but she was smiling. "I thought something was really wrong with me because I didn't have one."

"A tomboy, really?" I asked, still not believing her.

"Growing up with all those brothers, Mum didn't have time to be into beauty charms, so I didn't really learn how to be a girl until I started school."

"Well, for someone who didn't learn to be a girl until almost a teenager, you do a very good job of it."

She wasn't so confident. "It's being pregnant, it gives a false impression."

I had pulled the car into our drive, and once she saw the house, relief washed over her. Once I helped her out of the car, she almost ran for the house. I didn't think a pregnant woman could move that quick!

While I waited for her to finish in the bathroom, Carlisle asked me into his study. "Jasper, what's happening with her?"

"I think we're going to be friends," I explained.

"Fine, but make sure she takes care of her personal needs. The way she ran to the bathroom just now, you can't expect or ask her to hold off like a normal human can. If she were to develop a bladder infection, it could cause her to go into labor early."

"Oh, I didn't realize that. Anything else I should know?" I asked. When I was alive, men didn't talk about things like this. Besides, it was never something I needed to worry about.

"She will be very hormonal and have mood swings."

I nodded. "Can you take a look at her wrist? I upset her with a comment and she hit me. I think she may have broken it, but she hasn't said anything yet."

A/N This story is not getting as many reviews as I had hoped Please tell me if it's that bad.