Kim Possible: Reaching You
Chapter 7
Kim gave the girl more rapt attention than she'd been expecting. Her tale thus far had been…Kim couldn't think of words adequate enough, but she felt an overwhelming amount of pity for her despite the fact that the teen had basically forced herself into this dilemma. However, she made sure to hide that pity, as she was very aware of what reaction she'd draw from the angry girl whose lips curled into a snarl at random intervals during her story.
"I guess…," Sheridan began hesitantly, "…that I should thank you for taking care of me that night."
"Don't mention it," Kim shooed the thanks away.
"But I have to. Between you keeping my exploits that night a secret to just being there to care…you keep taking me by surprise and I don't know if I hate you or respect you for that."
Kim chuckled without much humor, "Would it help if I said I kind of relate?"
Sheridan slowly turned to face her, her brow furrowed between confusion and anger, "It makes me want to slug you for thinking you have an inkling of what I'm feeling. But, knowing you, I can't help but think you aren't messing with me."
"It sounds like you're hell bent on not relating to anyone. I don't understand why you want to be alone so badly."
"Maybe I am," she stood and made for the door.
Kim jumped after her, "Wait! Is that it?"
Sheridan spun and gave her a cocky smirk, "This sharing garbage is wearing thin and I'm done for the night. Thanks for listening to my bitching, I guess."
Kim reached for her hand and caught it as she was opening the door to leave, which made the girl tense and spin to face her with a less than amused look on her face. She held her hand for just a moment as the raven haired girl slowly looked at their hands touching and then looked back at Kim's olive eyes with crossness burning in her own.
"Talk to me again soon?" Kim said softly. "I don't want this to be a one-time thing."
"Why?" was her simple reply as she snatched her hand away less hatefully than Kim had expected.
"Because you looked peaceful for a second after you'd talked to me and I…want to see you happier."
Sheridan's eyes opened a tad wider, confusion and annoyance playing against her youthful features. She closed Kim's door and stalked across her room with hands on her hips.
Finally, she spun to face her and spoke slowly, "You…don't…like me. I know you don't like me and I don't like you, so why in the hell do you care whether I'm happy or not?"
"Maybe I want to like you," Kim hooked her hands behind her back, a little taken aback with Sheridan's anger. "Maybe I want you to like me. I don't have to have an excuse for wanting to see people happy. If you want a reason, then it's because I don't want to awkwardly stare at you every time we see each other for the next year."
Sheridan stalked so close they were almost touching noses, "Stop trying so hard to be perfect. No one in existence tries this hard and no one expects you to, so knock it off!"
Kim's anger was finally starting to take hold and she was disappointed she couldn't hold it at bay. She'd hoped they were on their way to understanding one another after Sheridan had opened up, but it seemed nothing had changed. The girl was just so damned stubborn.
"That's all you see in me?" Kim scrunched her face. "You see that perfect little, trouble free princess?"
"Am I wrong?"
"Yeah," Kim's voice cracked and she dialed it back to hide it, but Sheridan's face told her she'd caught it. "You and everyone else who thinks that simply because I wear a smile all day means I don't have problems. Nothing bad ever happens to Kim Possible, right? She doesn't have to try hard at all because she's perfect. She didn't work for her acrobatic skill or her strength or her tenacity or her good grades; it all just comes so naturally."
She felt her eyes water and she turned away before the other girl could notice. She made a show of busying herself with putting her headphones into her iPod and crawling into bed. She pulled the comforter over her legs and tried to find something soothing to listen to, outright ignoring Sheridan's presence.
"Kim…," the other girl began, but the redhead cut her off.
"Go to bed. There isn't anything else to talk about. Have a good night's sleep."
She didn't bother watching the other girl eventually leave or feel much more than disappointment as she exited without a word. All she felt was more frustration building that she needed to cut off before it became a problem again. She punched up a collection of classical music with techno beats she'd found online and let the rhythm calm her as she laid down on her comfortable bed.
Her phone's quadruple chime sounded off just loud enough to catch her attention and she pulled it up to see a text message had come in from Hirotaka. She'd given him her number out of kindness, but she hadn't expected him to text so early after their…social gathering today.
I had a wonderful time today. I noticed you were distracted near the end and I hope Stoppable and his friends didn't annoy you. I look forward to future outings. Have a peaceful sleep.
She snickered at how the boy actually texted like he spoke. She also felt a little flutter in her stomach at the prospect she'd been ignoring up to that point. Hiro liked her, that was evident even to the thickest head, but she hadn't given adequate thought to how she felt.
She was attracted to him, no question, but every time she thought about taking it a step further and actually dating him…it seemed like such a hassle. Maybe she simply needed to rise from her doldrums and give him a chance. Then again, if she wasn't one hundred percent into it, then it would be unfair to Hiro to go into something official halfheartedly.
She growled low and flipped onto her stomach, aggravated that she had such a difficult time coming to any decision whatsoever. Did she want to be alone the rest of high school? That was actually a little pathetic the more she entertained the idea, but it just seemed so pointless. Maybe she simply didn't relate to anyone on that level.
Her phone sounded again while she was mulling over Hiro's text as a separate number texted her. She slid to it and saw an unrecognized number had sent a short message.
Im sorry
Weird. Who could that have possibly been? There was honestly no way of knowing seeing as the number wasn't on her contacts. She supposed she could get Wade to track it, but that seemed more of a hassle than it was worth. Maybe someone simply texted the wrong course there was always the direct approach.
Who is this? Kim typed.
She waited for a reply for several minutes and one never came in, at least not before her tiredness and the music lulled her to sleep still gripping her phone.
Dammit! Stupid! What's your problem!?
Sheridan's brain let her have it as she threw a small tantrum outside the redhead's door. She wasn't angry with the other girl, as much as she wanted to be. No, she was frustrated with herself and her blatant inability to do something smart when it needed to be done. She walked back to the other teen's door, balled her fist to knock…and paused mid swing.
She told herself it was pointless in trying to level with her. The girl couldn't comprehend what she'd been through no matter what she may think. She realized that was what infuriated her the most: Sheridan wanted someone to understand…badly. Out of everyone in the world right now, Kim was the only one who might.
She growled and stormed back towards her room, refraining from slamming the door in fear of the parents coming to investigate before crashing into the bed and huffing irritably. She was at war with herself right now and she didn't want to admit it. It was so easy to hate everything and everyone, especially whenever others made it easy to do so.
However, she gripped her pillow with both hands, laid her chin against it, and forced herself to admit that she had just lied to Kim. While Sheridan wasn't sure exactly how Kim felt about her, the green girl was suddenly very certain that she didn't dislike Kim. In fact, if she was being totally honest…she thought Kim was cute.
She shuddered and scowled from that little personal revelation, but it didn't surprise her anymore. She'd been wondering about her ever since Kim had started to consistently show such irritating amounts of pure honesty. She cared, as bizarre as that was, and she was a complete softy in most situations. Then again, she also had a little mean streak in her that even she didn't like to show. Demanding she shut up and be nursed was one thing, but her cold cocking Sheridan's dashboard had shocked her into speechlessness.
There was a dark side to Kim and that intrigued her immensely. In the span of only a few days, she'd learned that the princess moniker she'd granted her had been grossly inappropriate. Kim had had a great life, which was apparent in her friends, family and personal accomplishments; however, the girl also held some very intense emotions just beneath her skin and that had made Sheridan question everything.
It had all come to a head days previous however when Sheridan had seen Hiro and Kim recreating a bad anime scene by fumbling all over one another on the gym floor. She couldn't resist teasing the clearly virginal redhead and had waited at her door to rub it in. Kim didn't play along and Sheridan hadn't taken that well. They scuffled and she'd ended up pinning Kim to the wall accidentally…and that had been the first time she'd seen it.
As if the heat radiating from the other girl hadn't been telling, she'd seen that fear and longing in Kim's eyes that she'd seen in others before. It was the telltale sign of a young woman being victimized by her sexuality and, after rolling about with someone that looked like Hirotaka, Sheridan didn't blame her. It was also the exchange of breaths at such a close proximity that had muddied Sheridan's mind.
After Kim had retreated to her room, locked the door and turned up her iPod, it was plainly obvious what she was doing behind closed doors. That instance had forced the dark haired girl to stop seeing Kim as the princess, the sheltered perfectionist and the Ms. Best All Around and start seeing her as…a person.
After that, it didn't take much to follow into the next step of her mentality. Kim wasn't scrawny and weak, she was athletic and strong. She wasn't a brown-noser, she was honest and kind. Most importantly, she was throwing herself at Sheridan wholeheartedly in an attempt to meet her halfway, but had been repaid with hate and condescension.
Sheridan's face glowed with shame and she wanted to detest the redhead for making her feel that way about herself. Instead, she felt shitty that she'd finally decided to open up, finally found someone who legitimately cared about the problems she was facing, and she'd only ended up getting pissed and pushing them away because she hated being pitied.
She'd hurt Kim multiple times since she'd arrived in this house and she hadn't cared at first. In time, less time than she'd believed, she'd begun to regret casting aside Kim's honest attempts at kindness because it frustrated a girl who obviously never found difficulty in relating to people. Kim wasn't even afraid of calling her on her bullshit and that was…Sheridan didn't know what it was, but it had the bizarre effect of making her want to do something to make peace between them.
She couldn't go back and talk now. The redhead was ignoring her admirably by the time she'd left her room. Instead, she grabbed her cell on the desk next to her and typed in Kim's number. Kim's parents had given everyone's contacts to her for emergencies, but she still hadn't added them to her phone. She'd been too busy taking everyone out of it.
There was only one thing to say, despite the millions of words jumbled in her head and stopping just at her fingertips. It was a duo of words that she rarely uttered, which means she meant them every time she spoke them.
Im sorry
She stared at the words for a minute before hitting send and waiting for a reply with a knot of dread in her stomach. She was expecting many replies, fuck you, who cares, dont talk to me, but she hadn't thought about the most obvious one.
Who is this?
Sheridan glared at the screen for some time before hovering a finger over the S key…and then pitching the cell back onto the desk. She growled and pulled her covers over her head, confused and irritated beyond measure. She was going to be up all night at this rate. Fuck it; she'd deal with this shit in the morning.
Dealing with it had proven to be an arduous task. From the moment Sheridan had left her room and bumped into Kim on the way downstairs, the redhead had greeted her with a neutral expression and a halfhearted "Hey". After that, the Saturday had been spent inside with Kim doing everything in her power to avoid a confrontation or even a conversation with her new housemate.
Kim's mood rose significantly when Bonnie and Tara had shown up to do homework together and whatever else popular girls did in their free time. It gave Sheridan the chance to roam about freely without worrying over seeing Kim before she had a chance to devise some way to speak with the girl.
She'd sought out Ann first and foremost, the Possible matriarch being the voice of reason in the household. She was in the midst of studying with the twins in the kitchen when the teen pinched a snack and took a seat close to Dr. Possible. She listened in as they worked and waited until the mother had shooed her groin spawn away.
"Everything alright, Sheridan?" she asked, pivoting to face the younger girl.
"Peachy," she drawled. "I was just gonna' grill you for info, if that's cool."
"About Kim? You two seem to be at odds today."
"Is it that noticeable?"
Ann sighed and crossed her legs, "My daughter is a mystery emotionally, but even she shows some obvious tells now and again."
"So, she's known to have moods?"
Ann looked off into nothing for several seconds before turning back to Sheridan, "You know I can't just give away Kimmie's secrets. At least, not while you hide some of your own."
"Like she cares to hear...," Sheridan stopped and growled softly. "Okay, if I promise to tell her, will you tell me?"
"Do you keep your promises?"
Ann was serious now and eyeing the teen intently. She was hiding something significant, which was obvious by her mental Poker game now being played. This made Sheridan's curiosity skyrocket.
"When I feel like it," Sheridan answered cockily. "I just so happen to care now."
Ann laughed incredulously, "You've always loved that bad girl act. I wonder how well you could maintain it if you were surrounded by kittens."
Sheridan darkened at the mention of her absolute favorite thing in existence. While she was mostly a tomboy and into very "boyish" things, she turned into an absolute girl when around small animals of any sort. Her squealing, baby talking and outright affection were at once her fondest memories of childhood and a constant embarrassment for anyone who saw it.
"Just tell me," Sheridan flustered.
Ann's demeanor changed immediately as she visibly pulled her consciousness back to previous times. She seemed to relive the emotions attached to them as she recalled them and, considering the look being given, they were not exactly fond memories.
"Kim was hospitalized when she was twelve by a bully who'd been teasing and physically intimidating her friends. She was always a little soldier and she hated seeing people cry when they were bullied. Sadly, that other child had brought out the warrior in Kimmie. She was a terrible little fighter, but she kept throwing herself at the bully in hopes he'd focus on her and not her friend. She'd succeeded and the bully injured her out of a blind panic or fear of Kim. We'd talked to the parents and the boy had apologized. We'd hoped that was the end of it."
Ann's face darkened significantly and Sheridan whispered, "What happened?"
Ann's eyes watered just enough to be noticeable, "Kim found out the bully was still picking on people even afterward. It…it did something to her. She was just a child, but the look she had when she heard about it was something I never want to see again. Unbeknownst to us, Kim had challenged the bully to meet her at that same playground where they'd first fought."
Sheridan felt something tighten in her stomach as she realized Ann had stopped talking. The pain on the older woman's face was palpable. Slowly, almost delicately, she slid closer to Sheridan and grasped her hands. The teen wanted to snatch them away, but she also didn't want to be rude. Ann didn't have to tell her all of this after all.
"Sheri, you need to hear this from Kim's mouth, not mine; just like you're going to eventually need to talk to her about your problems."
Sheridan looked away, but Ann pulled her back to face her, "I'm not your parent, so I won't judge you for what happened in Go. I know you don't want to talk to me, because I'm an adult and we're all squares. But, I promise you, out of everyone in the world, Kimmie will listen and she'll care. She needs this just as badly as you do."
"Why?" the teen asked.
"Because Kim needs someone to help her shoulder this burden she's placed on herself. You've seen her little bouts of frustration. She hates the person she becomes when she gets angry, but it's part of who she is. And she won't talk to us about it because she doesn't want us to worry…or maybe she doesn't want to admit to us of all people why she's frustrated."
"Why would she not come to you? You guys would positive reinforce her until she's sick of it."
Ann chuckled, "Because we're the reason she's frustrated. I'm a brain surgeon, her father is a celebrated rocket scientist, and her brothers are already understanding design concepts even college kids will never comprehend. She's surrounded by prodigies. Kimmie is wonderful and brilliant and caring…but she isn't on par with us. That's why she keeps her grades high and does community service and breaks herself to do well: because she thinks she has something to prove to us and to herself."
No way. No way was she right about Kim. That didn't make any sense in the slightest. Kim was so comfortable in her own skin, so radiant in her intense do-goodery. Then again, she remembered when she'd pushed Kim to that breaking point. She'd called her princess one too many times and watched her shamed expression as she'd assaulted her car.
More than that, she remembered their conversation from last night:
You and everyone else who thinks that simply because I wear a smile all day means I don't have problems. Nothing bad ever happens to Kim Possible, right? She doesn't have to try hard at all because she's perfect. She didn't work for her acrobatic skill or her strength or her tenacity or her good grades; it all just comes so naturally.
Sheridan's eyes widened and Ann nodded, knowing the girl understood now. Suddenly, infuriatingly, the green girl began to hurt for some reason. It was spontaneous and confusing and centered right around her stomach as though something was pinching her insides. She hated it, but she knew she'd needed to feel it to understand what she'd heard.
Without words, Ann patted her hands and turned to walk to the fridge. Sheridan slowly stood and headed for her room. Her mind roared at her to ignore the pity party she'd just bore witness to. So what if Kim had suffered? It hadn't been near as vicious as the one Sheridan had endured. Why should she care?
That part of her was still there and would always be there as far as she knew. The larger part, however, was the section of her that told her to go to her room and calm, because tonight, no matter what happened, she was going to meet Kim Possible halfway.
It was late afternoon before she heard the other cheerleaders leaving Kim's room. Sheridan walked out just in time to see the redhead walking her friends to the front door, her smile honest and pure until she'd noticed the green girl. It actually hurt a bit to watch her bright smile curl into a slight frown and knowing she was responsible. What she didn't understand was why it hurt.
Bonnie told Tara and Kim to keep going and she would be there shortly. As soon as they were down the steps, the brunette gave her a death glare that would make the iciest of ice queens proud.
"What did you do to Kim?"
Sheridan balked, "Nothing."
"Bull. She's been faking it almost all day and she refuses to talk about you. Even an idiot can tell there's trouble between you."
"An idiot would also make the mistake of thinking she can bark orders to me without getting her shit pushed in."
A tiny fraction of fear crossed her tanned features and Sheridan was glad she at least had some reputation left over from clocking Mongo.
Still, the girl pushed on, "Kim doesn't need you and your holier than thou attitude wearing her down. She has enough to deal with."
"Like you know."
Bonnie stepped into her, actually pressed their faces together with righteous anger, "I know more than you ever will, Grinch. She's one of a kind. Hurt her and I can hurt you in so many more ways that don't facilitate violence."
Sheridan wiggled a hand animatedly, "Oooooh, scary. I dread the moment you form a pyramid in front of me. Maybe that'll finally make Brick notice you instead of me."
Oh, that royally pissed her off. The brunette clearly desired to swing on her if her clenched fist was any indication. She wasn't stupid, however, and knew that'd be a whipped ass on her end and wisely backed off. She stormed away like a petulant child and Sheridan couldn't help a little smirk of pleasure. There was no love lost between the two and that was fine.
That smirk disappeared soon, however, as Kim came back up alone and shot her a very displeased scowl. She didn't even bother to stop and yell as she passed by her and made for her room.
"Hey," Sheridan followed.
Kim spun, "What!?"
She flinched from the unexpected hostility, "I…wanted to talk again."
The redhead bared her teeth, "Why? Did making Bonnie angry not satisfy you? Is it time to establish your superiority over me now?"
"What? Hey, she got in my face first! Be glad I didn't drop her!"
Kim rolled her eyes, "Whatever. I have nothing to say to you and honestly…I'm sick of you flip flopping on what you want from me. You clearly don't give a shit, so stop wasting my time making me think you do."
Sheridan felt her teeth grind together and she was about to lose it. She needed to walk away, needed to fill her head with Ann's words from earlier, but her pride made her stand her ground. No one talked to her like this, especially not some pampered little princess that still had loving parents and close friends and everything that Sheridan COULDN'T HAVE ANYMORE!
Her mind stopped then. Those last few words echoed like a siren in her hollowed mind. They bore into her as the difficult, ugly truth was finally allowed to take hold in her brain. She was jealous. She didn't hate Kim, far from it; she hated that she had to see someone who had everything that she'd been robbed of in so little time.
Sheridan, in one encompassing, suffocating moment, allowed herself to think about the fact that she missed her home and her family and her friends and she wanted it all back. She hated what her parents had done to her, but she desired their embrace so badly right now that it hurt in so many places.
Kim's scowl softened and actually formed into a face of worry, confusing the other girl until she felt the telltale, rare occurrence of a tear rolling down her cheek. Her anger flared, but it wasn't strong enough to override the sorrow overtaking her bit by bit. With a weak growl, she spun and dashed into her room, slamming the door and stumbling for her bed.
She fought sobs, intent on riding out the sadness and smothering it with anger. Stupid fucking useless tears invaded her face and made her curl around a big, black and green body pillow for support. She'd usually use the overstuffed accessory as a punching bag, but now she didn't feel like hitting anything. All she wanted was for this pain in her chest and stomach and head to go away and never come back.
A soft knock sounded on her door and she cringed because she knew who it was and what she wanted. She cuddled closer to the pillow and fought more tears as she pictured the face of the redhead, filled with worry and sympathy and she wanted to hate her even more.
A muted click was followed by a soft voice, "Sheridan?"
"Get out," she said with no real fire.
Seconds of silence passed before she practically felt the girl's presence ever closer, standing right next to her bed. She pleaded internally for the girl to go away.
"I'm sorry," were the words the dark haired girl was dreading.
Sheridan spun on her, "You don't get to be sorry! You didn't do anything wrong! God, why do you do that shit!?"
She still had that look. No matter what Sheridan had done, no matter what hateful things she'd said to anyone, Kim still visibly hurt from Sheridan's pain and that nearly drove her insane. People like her don't exist! No matter the anger or the doubt she knew existed behind that beautiful face, Kim could somehow always ignore it for the sake of another.
It was then that the girl wished the redhead would leave because she was angry and she didn't want to snap over someone who honestly didn't deserve her vitriol. All of a sudden, hurting Kim became taboo, almost blasphemous to the other girl and she knew she lacked the self-control to keep her attitude in check. What was worse was that she knew Kim would never truly hold it against her. She'd understand and be sweet and that pissed her off for reasons she couldn't even fathom.
The redhead sat on her bed, but gave her ample space, "Sheridan, please talk to me. I don't want us to keep doing this. I don't want to hate you. We don't have to be friends, but I can't take seeing you of all people cry. I feel like I have to do something."
"You care too much about other people's problems," Sheridan curled up and looked away again. "You really think someone's always gonna' be there to offer a shoulder?"
"I'd like to think so," even Kim sounded doubtful, but there was enough hope mixed in to break Sheridan's heart.
She didn't answer and they sat there in silence for a few minutes, neither honestly knowing what to say. Sheridan wished for her to leave, but a small part wanted her to stay. She didn't understand it, but she was certain she wanted it and that was too complex for her teenage mind to comprehend.
"I'm…," Kim stammered and Sheridan detected a small sob in her voice, "…I'm afraid that you're going to end up like me."
She laughed darkly, "You mean perfect?"
"I'm not perfect!" she almost growled, but it was too full of sadness. "I'm far from perfect."
"You're talking about what you did to that bully when you were a kid?"
Kim's breath caught, "Mom told you?"
"I asked. You didn't do anything wrong. You protected your friend and you whipped someone whose ass was in serious need of whipping. Good on you."
"The first time, maybe. Not the second time. Not when I lured them to the park at night…with a baseball bat."
A small choking sound made Sheridan turn, but Kim was also turned away. She breathed a little too heavy and the dark haired girl recognized that sound. She'd dealt with it time and again herself and it hurt her in that weird, new way she was beginning to detest.
"I had no right," Kim continued with obvious tears. "I just wanted to help my friend at first. But I wanted to hurt him the second time. I needed to hurt him. I needed to show him he wasn't going to get away with hurting people. I only wanted to scare him, but he reveled in putting me in the hospital. Before I knew it I'd seen red…and shattered his forearm with the bat."
That threw her for enough loops to last a lifetime. She'd like to say Kim's previous bouts of anger were indicative of what she'd done, but she simply couldn't see the girl doing anything to permanently damage another human being. Kim was far too sweet, far too kind…at least Sheridan had thought so.
Honestly, she still thought so. As dark as Kim's admission was, she still couldn't ignore the abject sorrow that ate away at the redhead while pouring her secret out. She felt true regret for what she'd done and it harmed her years later, which was indicative of a good person who'd simply fallen victim to her own rage.
Kim probably still thought she was a monster. Sheridan didn't want that. For some strange reason, she hated seeing the girl sad. The problem was she didn't know what to do to make it better. Well, she knew what it would take, but she refused to do it. She already hated how gooey and soft this whole ordeal was making her and she detested the thought of making it more sugary.
"Am I supposed to be impressed?" Sheridan said, but tried to sound less confrontational and more dismissive. "Let me ask you something no one else probably bothered to ask: did the bully ever bully anyone after that?"
Kim thought for a moment, giving herself time to sniffle, "I don't think so. I don't know. I tried to avoid him after that."
"I guarantee you he definitely hesitated after you were done with him. I know you feel like shit for what you did, but think about how many people were spared afterward because you put fear into him. How many kids escaped what you endured because you stood up to him?"
"That doesn't excuse it."
"Doesn't it?"
"No!" she hunched over as a sob tried to escape her. "I don't like hurting people. I could have just threatened him or…"
Whatever she'd intended to say afterward was lost to a new surge of crying that increased in sound to the point she attempted to stifle herself with her hand. The sound cut a little too deep into Sheridan and she was beginning to be worried by how much it bugged her.
"I'm sorry," Kim choked and attempted to stand.
Something possessed Sheridan in that instance. Without thought, without provocation, she reached out and grabbed the other girl's wrist. Kim immediately looked back to her in confusion, her reddening eyes and tear streaked face turning Sheridan's stomach into a knot. She commanded herself to release her, but that face and those pained eyes had drawn her reaction automatically.
"Look," Sheridan had to speak and justify her action, to the girl and herself, "you don't need to be alone right now. Don't run and hide. Stay and talk."
The olive orbs widened just enough as Kim registered the uncharacteristic request being offered. It wasn't even the offer itself that seemed to shock her as she stared at Sheridan, almost stared into her with an emotion she couldn't place. Still, she didn't move one direction or the other and she might have still fled had the dark haired girl not still held her wrist in a death grip.
Sheridan knew the girl wasn't intent on trusting her completely with her emotions and she couldn't blame her. She also knew what Kim needed in that moment and it made her sick how badly she wanted to offer it. Kim, however, took the initiative.
"I really want to hug you right now."
Sheridan groaned lightly, "Do you have to?"
"I think I do."
"Will it be for long? I don't think I can handle this crap much longer."
The redhead practically fell into her arms and, surprisingly, Sheridan made an effort in catching her and haphazardly throwing her own around the slender framed girl. Kim put some oomph behind it, so Sheridan reciprocated and tried to refrain from vomiting. A few more sniffles tugged at her heartstrings and she rolled her eyes out of reflex.
She flashed back to her twin little brothers and an instant wherein Wendell had fallen from the staircase in their mansion in Go City. All the Go children were exceptionally tough, but he'd only been eight and the fall had scared him. He couldn't be consoled by anyone save for his big sister who they always sought out before anyone else.
She remembered him bursting into her room, bawling his eyes out and explaining what happened between sobs. She loved her little brothers immensely and hated hearing them cry. She'd held him like she held Kim now and let him vent his fear and tears, all while she lightly stroked his hair and whispered reassurances to him.
She denied herself such reverie with the redhead. She owed her nothing. She wasn't even sure she really cared about her pain had it not crossed her threshold. They disliked one another…okay, Kim disliked her and it was a waste of time and energy to pretend like this moment changed anything.
Kim sidled even closer into her, finding real comfort in her arms and that made a tad more of those stupid tears come back. She grit her teeth and cursed her luck that she'd have to be placed in this pointless situation. She then unclenched them as she slowly, ever so slowly, began to run her fingers through Kim's vibrant, orange hair.
She had no soothing words that came to mind, but this already seemed to be enough as the girl lightly dug her fingernails into Sheridan's back and let out a bit more from the display. She wondered when the last time was the girl even allowed her parents or her friends to just be there while she let all this out. Considering she was the "perfect teen" and was constantly running as fast as she could just to keep up with her family, Sheridan would guess not often.
Shit. And here she was thinking she was the one who'd needed a shoulder. Strangely, her own problems, the revelation she'd just endured moments ago, was now a fleeting memory in the face of doing something to alleviate Kim's own frustrations. She hated having to do it…or maybe she hated how much she enjoyed doing it.
She sighed just softly enough to disguise under Kim's sobs as she decided this position was getting way too uncomfortable. This might take a while; might as well dig in for the long haul. She braced Kim's back with her arms and gently laid back, allowing the girl to follow her down and retain that death grip she had on her. She barely ceased whimpering as she buried her face deeper into Sheridan's shoulder and the green girl rolled her eyes at the increasing dampness of her shirt.
It wasn't too bad honestly. Despite the redhead's moaning, she was comfortable enough to lie against her pillow and close her eyes. She'd give the girl a few more minutes before kicking her out and simply rest her eyes in the meantime. She barely registered the last bits of sniffling that eventually changed into soft breathing, signifying the girl had fallen asleep, before she drifted off herself.