WARNING: CUSSING ON THE WAY AND TORTURE SCENES
It took a total of 3 days to make it to the cabin.
Sam woke up twice screaming thrashing around in the back he tried calming him down but Sam had kicked out running for it. He nearly was hit by 3 cars in the process of escaping. The bright lights only freaked his brother out even more making him run for the open wasted field that held only junk. Dean found his little brother digging into his arm with an old bear bottle digging out the bugs that were in his arms that were eating at his veins.
Two hours later Dean was able to drug his brother again, drag him to the car and run from the cops that had been called. All in all it had been a good well spent trip.
Now they were safe well safe as they could be. The place had been old, dusty and wet but Dean was able to fix it up every time Sam finally found peace in the form of sleep. He called Bobby to let him know they were safe and then invaded his trunk.
Food would be a problem was his first thoughts. Hunting, normal hunting, wasn't an option with his brother in this sate but his worries were put away when he found his trunk over loaded with can foods. There was bread, cheeses and meats that would go bad after a while but it didn't matter tears came to his eyes at what Bobby had done for them. He would never be able to express how grateful he was for having Bobby in their lives he had no idea how they could have survived without him. Nope he thought they wouldn't have survived without him.
He loaded up and was putting things away when he heard a groan from the couch. Dropping the box of cans Dean ran for his brother who was struggling to sit up. "Sam hey you with me?" he never knew if his brother would wake up knowing his surrounding or see hell fire but for now his brother seemed to be sane.
"Dean?" Sam looked around. He was really confused right now.
Images of hell blurred through his mind bringing pain that he didn't want so he pushed them back as new ones that threaten to drowned him if he thought for to long. Last normal thing he remembered was the panic room but this wasn't the panic room. Steel didn't surround them. There was no salt smelling thing here it was different. Wooden ceilings and wooden floor was what his eyes met his senses kicked in and he smelt fresh air, wood, and dirt. "Sammy" looking around he finally met Deans worried gaze.
He thought about trying to smile for his brother he wanted to calm mother hen but his mind was sluggish part of him didn't understand what was going on or remember how to smile. "Where are we" calm mother hen later get answers now while he was still sane.
"the cabin don't you remember we talked about going. Ya I drugged you to get you here but we agreed to go."
"what you" he tried thinking and he flinched when pain sliced through him.
"SAM" confused eyes met panicked eyes. "calm down ok don't think about it. Ok just trust me. Were in our old cabin and were safe. Were safe here. Trust me." Sam struggled to obey struggled to breath but finally calmed down enough to do so. He had no idea what Dean was talking about he wanted to remember but trusted his big brother. But why couldn't he remember. Still seeing panic on his brother Sam smiled trying to calm the both of them.
Dean relaxed a little but not enough. "You hungry" Sam didn't trust his voice from shaking so he nodded instead. "Good. don't worry Sammy I'm gonna fatten you up and kill that healthy style of yours in no time" Sam had to smile at that. Dean never liked his healthy eating and even when Sam was about to go crazy his brother couldn't resist trying to feed him a grease burger. He knew Dean wouldn't but he had no doubt it hadn't crossed his big brothers mind.
Dean came back with a meat sandwich that made his mouth water he was starving. Dean sat down next with him with beer and a water bottle. Sam reached for the water he was weak but he was so hungry. Draining the water he began to devour the meaty sandwich. His throat was sore but it felt so good to eat.
Dean was up and in the kitchen before he could process it making another sandwich. He didn't realize he had finished it before he craved more but Dean knew he wanted more, Dean always knew what he wanted before Sam even did. "Don't worry fatty its coming" Dean was smiling finally glad his brother was eating.
Sam could only smile. Only Dean would be happy as a clam that he was eating.
Sam looked around taking in the surrounding. This was their cabin. There was so many good things about this place that he remember. But some memories were tainted with blood and blurry. One memory, a happy memory played out before his eyes as he saw a repaired window.
It had been snowing badly outside and Sam had wanted to play baseball, it had devastated him that they couldn't. it was a blizzard and if out there long enough they could freeze or that's what their dad said would happen. Dean saw how badly he wanted to play so he got the baseball, gave Sam the bat and they played in doors. It had been awesome till Sam's swing had the baseball flinging out the back window.
They had sat there staring both worrying about what dad would say when Dean started laughing. He couldn't stop and soon Sam doubled over from laughing. Not sure what was so funny but he couldn't stop laughing.
Dean sat down and ruffed his hair. "Not a bad hit Sammy. Maybe you have a career in baseball." Sam smiled happy that Dean thought so. "and now were gonna see how you do in construction"
"What"
"Yup you heard me you broke the window now you fix it" he had not been happy and refused at first but the cold air leaked through had them both racing to cover it. They patched it as best they could with duct tape. Then they huddled by the fire laughing and joking about...
About what?
Sam thought hard but the memory was blurry. The end of it seemed missing. Why couldn't he remember. "Sammy?" an outside voice called for him but he was to lost to register who. What the hell did they talk about. He knew it was funny stuff he remember it brought them closer together but he couldn't remember. Damn it why couldn't he fucking remember.
"SAM" he dragged himself away from the fading memory and found himself staring at Dean. The concerned mother hen the big brother. Why did he call him mother hen? When did he come up with it? He was frustrated now trying to find the origin of it. "Sammy. Come back to me man" he looked at Dean not realizing that he had been crying.
"Dean?" Dean smiled concerned was in his eyes but the smile was real. Sam wanted to smile back he really did but he couldn't. "cant.. Dean I cant remember it" he looked at his big brother whose smile faded and they just stared. "remember what Sammy?" he had to know. Was that it then? Hell came back and other memories sort of stopped existing? He wanted to cry but didn't.
Sam shook his head looking away. "Did I get another sandwich?" he knew that his brother didn't want to answer and he respected that. He handed the sandwich to Sam and his brother ate soundlessly.
"here" he grabbed bobby's letter before he forgot. "bobby wrote you a cute little love note. Bet you five bucks there's a kiss mark inside too." Sam smiled and he saw dimples that made his life worth living.
Giving his brother some time he went to the kitchen finishing putting things away trying to make it more bearable to live. "Bobby's a good guy" turning he saw Sam walking towards the kitchen. Stumbling mostly. "Hey hey" he ran towards his brother who waved him off.
"I can walk I'm a big boy dude" he stumbled even more but he finally got to the chairs and sat down. He was breathing a bit heavy but obviously proud of himself that he made it this far without help.
"what did grandfather time have to say" Sam just shrugged it off but a smile lit his face.
"So cabin? Why here" Dean wanted to cry his brother didn't remember. He cleared his throat.
" its safe place free of people and we needed air. The panic room view was getting a bit old." Sam nodded agreeing whole heartily. He looked at the kitchen counter. The fruit was there meat and beer bottles it was a normal counter top. So why was it bleeding?
Dean picked a tomato up and began to cut into it. The knife was big and he wield it like a pro. Each cut a thin line of blood ran out. Leaking off the cutting board. The blood raced across the counter seeming to be attracted to him. "Sam" he wanted to answer the big brother that meant so much to him. But the blood was coming closer.
The knife raised and was pointed at him. "Sammy?" he looked up. 'oh Sammy your nothing but a waste of space'
Dean smiled the cold smile and tossed the knife at him. It buried deep into his chest cutting off any reply that wasn't a scream. Fire consumed him the shackles in place he screamed while Dean approached him like he did when approaching his prey, a monster. '
Sammy you mean nothing' his brother kneeled next to him pulling out the knife and stroked his hair. 'you mean nothing to me' the knife was once again buried deep into his chest pain increased when the dagger was twisted deeper. 'monster Sam that's what you are. A monster'
"NNOO" Sam screamed kicked and struggled against the invisible chains that held him in place. "Sammy. Sammy its not real your not there. Its ok little brother your safe." tears fell from his brother as he shook his head and screamed again.
"please" begging came after the screaming. "please Dean please don't. please I'm sorry Dean I wont" he was cut off by another scream that sent Deans blood cold. "Sam" he was free of the chains and his brother ran. Blind to it all but he found a corner and seemed to make peace with it he curled down and hunkered down as if waiting for something but not wanting to see it coming.
He began whimpering, hissing and muttering Dean looked away he couldn't take that site in on a normal day this was breaking him down. He staid were he was and glanced out the window.
He was so lost. He didn't know what to do.
Sam had always known what to do he was the brains of the family though he never told Sam that and at this rate he never would be able to. His brother made him open up about hell and Dean felt better talking, guilty that he had but Sam only pushed him the right way.
Sam had always had the way. He knew what to do specially with this hunt. This hunt had cost them dearly.
Dean sighed wiping away the fallen tears and walked away from the window that over looked everything but held nothing for Dean. There were trees and being out in the middle of no where once was beautiful but not now. How could it be.
He walked to his dads old chair sitting directly across his brothers shivering form, the chair creaked when sat in and was barely being held together. It was in many ways like Dean. Old and creaky and barely being held together as he stared at his baby brother who sat huddled in the corner.
He couldn't believe it when the wall broke ya it wasn't Deaths fault totally but fuck the wall held for 3 months. Only 3 fucking months. Death was a dick Dean had expected a stronger wall. The witch wasn't even that powerful, or maybe she was but Dean had gone in there blind not realizing anything.
if Dean could take Death he would go after him right now. Dean didn't care if he lived or died, he would mainly die but damn it his brother needed him now. And it was Deans fault. He pushed to work the case he wanted to keep himself busy ever since he ran into Lisa with a new guy and he was to broken to start picking up the pieces. Sam wanted to talk but he couldn't have talked he just needed to hunt.
Now here they were in an old shitty ass place that once use to mean so much to both of them. Dean old and weary and Sam insane. The life of being a Winchester.
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