Feels like everyday stays the same
It's dragging me down
And I can't pull away So here I go again
Chasing you down again
Why do I do this?
*~*~*~*
Chapter Seven
Light didn't remember falling asleep, or even closing his eyes. But he must've, because he was opening his eyes groggily, trying to get used to the bright light. When he finally did and opened his eyes all the way, the first thing he noticed was a nurse's cart a little ways away from him. Then the steady beeping of some annoying machine nearby, the hurting stiffness of his back. Then the feeling of a body beneath his, rising and falling with steady breaths, the creepy feeling that he was being watched by someone.
Turning his head slowly, but not picking it up, Light locked eyes with wide, midnight orbs. Gasping, his head snapped up, causing his neck to hurt painfully. He put it down again with his eyes closed, whimpering slightly at the pulled muscle. But he ignored it for now.
"Why are you so close to me?" he asked L. It took a few seconds to register in his still slightly tired, shocked brain that L was awake.
L was awake.
Opening his eyes slowly again, Light looked up at the detective. He couldn't believe what he saw.
L's eyes were wide open, alert, perceptive, and looking straight back at him. As usual, they didn't betray very many emotions. Just slight amusement at Light's current situation.
"Light-kun is the one close to me," L responded.
Light stopped from jumping and screaming like a little girl when it hit him L was finally awake long enough to be confused by the detective's words. Dread suddenly filled Light's chest and spread throughout the rest of his body before he looked down.
He was spread over L's body—L's half naked body, he might add, as the sheet that usually covered the black-haired man had slipped off. Light could see scars covering L's torso and he wanted to ask what they were from, but in his current situation, he didn't have time to pay much attention to that.
His head had been laying comfortably on L's stomach, his right arm currently flung clear over him and his hand lying on the other side of him. It was when he mentally found his left hand that he truly started to freak, his eyes widening slightly. Lifting his head as much as he could without sending a spasm of pain down his spine and turning it, Light stared wide-eyes at where his hand had wandered during his sleep.
Lying there, right over L's groin, was Light's hand.
Heart beating erratically, face and neck flushing a brilliant red; Light yanked his hand away quickly. As he did so, his fingers brushed against L's member, making him blush harder.
"Sorry," he said hurriedly, scrambling to get upright in his chair. In his haste, he almost fell out of it completely.
"Why so bashful, Light-kun?" L asked.
Light swore he heard a smirk in the detective's voice. But he couldn't look up at him. He was pretending to straighten his clothes. "I'm not," he growled, not in the mood for L's antics.
"No need to get defensive," the detective said slightly smugly in Light's opinion. Then again, he couldn't really judge. His mind wasn't exactly working properly right now.
"I'm going to get the doctor," Light muttered, getting ready to stand up.
"Light-kun is avoiding me. Does he feel guilty for trying to kill me?" L wondered aloud.
"What are you talking about?" Light snapped, finally looking up at L.
"Light-kun is Kira," L responded, as if this was the most obvious thing in the world. "You killed Watari and you tried to kill me." L looked away from Light to the ceiling, putting his thumb on his lips. "I wonder why…." L trailed off, not finishing his thought.
Light sighed. He had missed L to no end, but he definitely didn't miss this. "I'm not Kira," he repeated for what had to be the millionth time. Before L could counter, which Light knew he was going to do, he continued. "And I'm sorry about Watari. You two must've been close."
L's thoughtful expression turned subtly blank. "Yes. We were close. I will deeply mourn his loss." He looked back to Light, his eyes still emotionless. "But Light-kun is diverting again."
Light's eyes widened. "How can you be so heartless?" he asked. "Unemotional? Cold? You don't seem to really care! The only person you've come in contact with for who knows how long died! How can you not care?"
"I already said I will mourn his loss," L said, eyes narrowing. He obviously didn't have much experience in the feelings category. Even for Watari. "I choose not to show my emotions," he continued. "It shows weakness. I deal with pain by doing work. It distracts me."
"But what about when you're done?" Light challenged. "You won't be distracted and the pain will just hit you sevenfold!"
L's eyes narrowed further. "Why is Light-kun so worried about my pain?" he asked suspiciously.
Light looked down to his hands. He couldn't think of a reason. All he knew was that he was worried about L. Then his conversation with his father replayed in his head.
"I saw you. Twenty-three days ago. I came to get you. You kissed him…. You told him 'I think I love you'."
"….when he was starting to wake up, you never once took your eyes off him."
"You're different when you're around him. Happier…. You show more emotion around him. He gets under your skin. He brought life into you, Light. I thought that it was there before, but after seeing the two of you…."
"You being gay."
"I can see that you like Ryuzaki more than a friend."
"I think that you two would be an amazing couple."
"I don't know," Light answered L, only being half-true.
There was a sudden silence enveloping the room. It was slightly tense, and neither one of them looked at the other. It lasted for a few minutes before Light broke it.
"I'm going to go get the doctor," he said, standing up. This time L didn't try to stop him.
Light leaned on the wall out in the hallway, out of sight from L. He banged his head on the wall behind him and clenched his eyes shut. Tears threatened to escape his eyes and he was too confused and emotionally spent to try to hold them back. With the hot, salty water coming from his eyes, Light took a deep breath to try to calm himself.
'What's wrong with me?' he wondered.
*~*~*~*
Over and over Over and over
Over and over I fall for you
Over and over
Over and over I try not to
Over and over you make me fall for you
Over and over
Over and over you don't even try
*~*~*~*
Song:
Over and Over
Artist:
Three Days Grace
*~*~*~*
Special thanks to Vietta for suggesting the song.