Well, (Covered in blood.) that was fun!
Wendell: Right...
My mom uselly lets me pritend 2 be sock
Lucina: WE MUST BECOME ONE WITH SOCK!
Narrator: Geez, first Stan, now Sock... Then again, Satin was a thing for a bit too...
on my burthday and stey hom frum skool so thats wat hapan. Sholks gaem didant cum becuz Obana dosent want me to playit i gess and tolded teh mael pepol not to breen it yet evan tho my mom ordared it 2 dyas ago! Butt Oboma didant reely ruan my burthday compliantly becuz thus gived me moar tim 2 wach epsods of gam of throns. I wach the antire furst sesan and teh furst 3 epsods of secant sesan. Their r lotsa nakid womans init BUTT TAHT NOTE WY I LEIK IT BECUZ IM NOTA LESBAN!
Me: I CALL BULLS*** ON YOUR BULLS***!
Imagi: Wait... *Does math in head.* Is that even a thing?
I lerned sum thins abot Briten liek evan tho pepol otsid Briten call teh captal of Briten Londun i gess in Briten tehy calit "Keens Landen" (witch i gess sonds kinda liek Londun). Alos tehy cal Britash Congrass teh "smell consul" and teh ledar of congrass is teh "Hen off eht Keen" (I thot the Hond off the Kine was liek the Britash vershan of vise presadent butt wen the keen dyed that Jofri kid becum keen insted of Nad Stork so i gess he wuz Vise King).
Wendell: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! BETWEEN YOUR BULLS*** AND HORRIBLE SPELLING, I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE FUDGE IS GOING ON!
And than tehy ned 2 held big erection 4 noo keen, expect in Briten elecshans they dont voet insted they hav a big war to deside who next keen is (I wish we did taht in America becuz conservativs hav moar guns than libruls so wed alweys win. By the wey they dont hav the secant amendmant in Briten so sum librul taked all there guns awey and everone fites with sords an stuff. Also tehy rid hoarses insted of cars becuz Briten is suronded by oshan and u cant driv cars ovar waiter so no cars evar gotted their).
Me: ... Heh. Ha ha. HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAAHHAHAHAHA- (Starts shooting shotgun.) - AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAH!
Imagi: TO THE BUNKERS!
Me: (Explodes randomly.)
On off teh candidats 4 keen of Briten is gay so i hop he lose. Also I notased ther was a big wal in Briten, and i thenk America shuld get on liek it expect on r sothurn boarder to keep ot teh Mexakans.
Narrator: NOT HELPING HIS SANITY LADY!
Me: Oh NaRaToR...
Narrator: F*** us...
-(Later.)-
Lucina: (Foot firmly planted in King's face.) Done?
Me: Yes...
Lucina: Good!
CHAP 6: JERNEY 2 YUROP
Lucina an Sholk watted 4 Capten Falken 2 leev the garag off Manshan so taht they cold steel his car. Kapten Futon wuz washen his car wen sudanly Mastur Hands vois cum thro lowdspekar. "Capten Falkan u ned 2 fite Mart in arina" Mastar Hond sed. "Ok" sed Capten Falken so he lfet garag of Manshan 2 goto arina.
Imagi: ... Why is he evil again?
"Nos r chans" sed Sholk. Sholk gotted in2 drivars skeet becuz hes a man and mens no moar abot cars tehn womens.
Lucina: (Pulls out gun.)
Narrator: No.
Lucina: Dammit...
Lucina gotted in passanger seet. Sholk turd on car and driv ot of garag and onto rode.
Lucina turd on teh rado off car and startad lissen 2 Fansy by Igey Azala.
Lucina: (Pulls out kitchen knife.)
Narrator: NO.
Lucina: F*** OFF!
Im uselly nut alowed 2 lissan 2 taht kined of muzak butt my dad sez its ok becuz shes wite.
Narrator: (Raises Rifle.)
Lucina: Really?
Narrator: Yes.
Alos she sez lotsa reely smart thins on twitar.
Wendell: (At the fridge.) HAHAHAHAAHAHAHA!
Sholk and Lucina taked teh rode on2 hiwey and drivd alon until tehy saw teh exat 2 teh reel world and gotted of hiway and tehy wer in teh reel world. "Ono!" Lucina sed "were in teh reel world butt were in America not Briten! Kapten Felcans car cant get ovar teh oshan 2 Briten!" "Tahts a problam" sed Sholk. They loked arond 4 a solushan. Than they sawed a baot at a dok neerbye. "Lets rid baot 2 Briten" sed Lucina. So Sholk drived Capten Falkens car onto teh boot. Butt tehy realiz 2 laet that teh bot wasant goen 2 Briten it wuz goen 2 Frans. "Ono!" sed Sholk. He wented 2 capten off baot. "Wats the problam" sed capten. "We dont want 2 goto Frans we want 2 goto Briten" sed Sholk.
Imagi: Don't agree...
"Well we cant do anythin abot that becuz we alredy setted sale" sed capten.
Imagi: YES!
"Butt my gurlfrend is captar by Mattel Fase and he takes her 2 be rap by Lauren and Kairi who r lesbans!" Sholk sed. "Butt im alredy sale 2 Frans I cant chang distraction nao" sed capten. "Pleese capten guy Saras my beest frend u ned 2 halpus sav her" sed Lucina. "Sorey i cant" sed capten. He wuz a reely meen capten.
Me: Or he needs his job to pay for his two kids and the third one on the way. Is he really mean? Is he?
So teh baot wented 2 the Frans and Lucina and Sholk gotted of baot in Capten Felkans car. "Now we ned 2 fined otter baot frum Frans 2 Briten" sed Sholk. "I haev otter idea" sed Lucina. then she yell "gesunhite!"
Wendell: *Sits down with a bag of jellybeans and other candies.* What did I miss-
"WE SURANDAR!" sed everone in Frans wen tehy herd Lucina speck Germen. So Lucina wuz teh Quine of Frans now.
Wendell: o_0
Lucina: *Grabs a bag of M&M's.* Yep.
"Ok now wecan invad Briten with milatry off Frans" sed Lucina. "Butt Frans is reely week and tehy alweys loose and surandar" sed Sholk.
Me: And, you know, YOU'LL BE STARTING WORLD WAR III!
"Taht isa reely big problam" sad Lucina. "I hav idea" sed Sholk "lets get teh Germens 2 halpus." So Lucina and Sholk gotted in Capten Felkans car agen and drov 2 leedar of Germenys hose. "We ned u to helpus invad Briten" sed Lucina. "Nine" sed ledar off Germeny witchis ho they sey no in Germeny prolly becuz 9 and 0 ar rite naxt to eachotter on teh keybored and foreners r 2 stooped 2 no teh difrance.
Imagi: HOW DO PEOPLE STAND YOU.
Lucina: Wait, people stand her?
Imagi: True.
Butthan Sholk gotted ot off car and teh ledar of Germeny sawed he had blond hare and bloo eeys. "We cant say no 2 teh mastar rase!" sed ledar of Germeny "u r teh supreem Furor of Germeny nao." "Hile Sholk!" sed all teh Germens.
Narrator: THE F*** IS HAPPENING?!
"Also Laurens gurlfrend Kaeti loks liek a jew" sed Sholk. "Yay! We luv killen thos!" sed teh Germens. So nao taht Lucina wuz ledar of Frans and Sholk wuz ledar of Germeny tehy wer redy 2 plan there invashun of Briten.
So they just became the leaders of two huge countries, too much racism happened, and the Germans Master Race is anyone with blonde hair and blue eyes. Yep, we're in a Sara story.