Chapter 7 - Finding The Sky

Lincoln's knees gave in. The world seemed like it was going in slow motion as his head slammed into his desk. The pain was great, but he had an even more urgent feeling in his gut. He quickly crawled to the corner of his room and stuck his head in a small wastebasket.

*BLEH*

Lincoln emptied the contents of his stomach. He hadn't been eating much, but that didn't help him at all. In fact, it made each chuck hurt even worse. His sides hurt like he was being stabbed, a taste of ash was in his mouth, and his eyes couldn't stop burning.

How many times had he vomited since Saturday morning? He couldn't count anymore. He rarely barfed like this, even when he was actually sick.

"No, I AM sick." He told himself. He had intentionally messed with all of his sisters in an attempt to make the guilty one crack, and instead all he did was provoke her even further. And now the stakes were even higher for him.

He rolled backwards and leaned against his bed, and started thinking about the note in his hand "You flirt with any one of our sisters again, you'll regret it…" Just what could that mean? He took extra care to make sure that none of the others were around when he approached them. With the exception of Lori and Leni, they were all one on one exchanges. Does that mean that one of them is the culprit?

"No, it's possible that he got found out. These walls are paper thin after all." He said under his breath. There was also the possibility that they held a sisters only meeting at some point in the night. Those weren't entirely unheard of, but it would severely put a damper in his plans if that was the case.

He looked over to his clock. It was just about time for breakfast. He wanted to skip out on that. He wanted to tell his mother he was sick to stay home from school and avoid the world. But that couldn't happen. He needed to be at that table so he could observe his sisters. He needed to know if any of them would act differently around him.

Lincoln started to make his way down the stairs. He wasn't sure what he would find once he reached the dining room. His head booming with ideas, causing it to throb like the worst migraine he had ever felt in his life. He could barely walk without stumbling. His whole body was hot with pain, and his head still stinging from his fall. But he kept on moving. He wasn't walking straight, but he was at least able to keep himself upright without holding onto the wall.

When he finally reached the dining room, he put on a good face. He was getting better and better at masking his pain every day, so he didn't find it that difficult this time.

"Good morning everyone!" Lincoln said with a smile and a wave.

There was an audible gasp from everyone in the room when he entered. "Interesting…" He thought as he continued on.

He walked around the table until he found an empty seat in between Luna and Leni. When he sat down, he noticed something odd. Both girls scooted away from him. It was ever so slight, but it was enough for him to take notice. As he poured himself a bowl of cereal, he examined the room. No one was talking. The silence was made even more awkward as they were all clearly avoid his eyes.

"Hmm, this is unusual, but I have to play it cool." He thought as he put the box back on the table. Lincoln was far from hungry. If he was being honest with himself, and he wasn't, the idea of eating anything made him want to puke again. But he had to eat to keep up appearances. He shoveled a few spoonfuls of cereal into his mouth and began to chew.

"So, what's everyone got going on today?" He asked with a swallow.

There was no response.

He went back to his cereal, and then tried to talk again. "Lynn, got any sports games today?"

Still no response. When he went back to his cereal a third time, he used a trick he had seen in an old detective tv show. Angling your spoon at just the right angle so you can use it as a mirror to see around the room without being noticed by the other people. Doing this, he was able to see something that was very strange. Every single one of his sisters was staring directly at him. None of them eating, none of them talking. And every time he lifted his head, they would move theirs so that he couldn't notice.

"Just what is going on here?" Lincoln thought. His sisters were all averting his gaze and not talking to him, but they were staring at him every chance they got. "I need to get to the bottom of this. I don't care what that letter said, I need to start pushing!"

"Hey Luna, I was wondering if you could tell me the pros and cons between a six string and a twelve string guitar." He asked with a smile. Luna moved her eyes slightly to him, but then quickly looked away. It wasn't a great reaction, but it was something.

"Leni, Is there any new fashion trend at school?" Leni looked at Lincoln a little longer than Luna did, but it was essentially the same reaction.

Lincoln wasn't quite sure what was going on with them, but at least he was starting to get responses from them.

"This room is uncomfortably quiet…." He acknowledged. "Hey Luan, why don't you tell a joke to break the ice in here?"

Luan didn't budge. That started to worry Lincoln. Normally she would jump at any chance she could to tell a joke, prompted or otherwise. But here she couldn't ignored a direct request. Something was up. But that wasn't necessarily a bad thing. He could use this to his advantage.

"Ok fine!" He shouted, causing all of them to jump. "Ignore me all you want, I'm outta here!" Lincoln pushed his chair away from the table and began to storm off. With any luck, one of two things could happen. Either one or all of them would run after him, or they would all start to feel bad for avoid him. No matter what happened though, his original plan had completely failed. If they hall acted weird, then there was no way to validate who had raped him.

When Lincoln got to the living room, he became face to face with Lana who was sitting on the couch.

"WHA!" She shouted, looking at him with a horrified expression.

"Whoa there, what's with that reaction?" Lincoln asked, unsure of what was going on.

"You really haven't noticed yet?" Lucy said from behind, causing Lincoln to jump.

"Notice what?" He asked.

Lucy pointed at his face. "There's a giant gash above your eyebrow, it's been bleeding this entire time." She replied. She then looked away. "It's quite unsettling...even for me."

"Wh-what?" Lincoln said in shock.

He slowly touched his forehead and felt an incredible amount of pain. He winced at it and quickly shot his arm back down. Clenching his fist, he forced his eyes open and looked at his hand. It was covered in blood. He began to shiver. He had never seen so much blood on his hands before. And it wasn't the light red blood you see from a paper cut or a nosebleed, it was a deep, dark red. The kind that you see in the movies.

He became even more light headed. The whole world started spinning rapidly. He could see Lucy's mouth moving, but he couldn't hear a thing. There was just a loud ringing sound filling his ears. His vision started to go blurry.

"Not good." He said. "I….I'm going…..down…."Lincoln fell backwards. He could feel someone catch him, but he didn't get the chance to see who it was. Everything was just black.

Lincoln was in a void. He appeared to be floating. All of his limbs were free, but he move forward. He was stuck in the same space.

"Where am I?" Lincoln said.

"You're asleep, you fainted from the shock of seeing your own blood….You really shouldn't stir the pot like that." Said an ominous voice. "The results can be hazardous."

Lincoln spun around, but he could find the voice. It seemed to be coming from all directions and no direction at the same time. "Who, who said that?" He shouted. His voice echoed all around him.

"What does it matter?" The voice replied. "You won't do anything even if you were to find out." The voice was heavily distorted. It was barely even human. There were no characteristics that could be determined as belonging to someone he knew.

"That's not true!" He said. "I, I'll-"

"You'll what?" It interrupted. "You'll act out in violence again? Is that your master plan?"

"NO! That was just an accident." Lincoln started to shake.

"Oh? Then maybe you're planning to mentally sabotage them." The voice began to snicker evilly. "It would be the fair thing to do, wouldn't it?"

"I….I" Lincoln couldn't finish the sentence. What was he planning to do?

"Why do you seek the answer anyway?" It asked him.

"They hurt me more than anything! I need to know who did it and why!" He said, confident in his answer.

"Was it really the rapist who hurt you, or was it yourself?" The voice said.

"What do you mean?" Lincoln asked.

"Look at yourself Lincoln."

Suddenly, a hooded figure appeared before him. It's hands slowly went towards the hood. Lincoln took a big gulp. The figure removed the hood to reveal a mirror copy of himself. Lincoln stood in horror as he looked.

"Your eyes are bloodshot, your hair is ragged, your skin has grown pale, you can't walk straight, you're constantly feeling ill, and you were too caught up in your little scheme to notice that you banged your head up pretty badly." The other Lincoln said, speaking in the voice he had been hearing. "The sister who raped you may have caused you some trauma, but you have been hurting yourself far worse than they ever did, and you were too stupid to know it."

"I didn't mean to!" Lincoln cried. "I just needed to get her to reveal herself to me!"

"Do you think she's going to at this point?" It said sternly. "If anything, you've made it so she will never come clean as long as you live."

"How can you know that?" He asked.

"Look at the letters." The other Lincoln snapped his hands and all of the letters Lincoln had received appeared before him. "Almost all of them say they love you in it, do they not?"

Lincoln looked them over. It was definitely the case.

"You would want to confess to someone if your love notes caused them to physically harm themselves?"

"But if they truly loved me, why would they rape me like that?!" Lincoln argued. "Why would they send me taunting messages like that, why would they threaten me with a bloodstained rose petal like that?!" Lincoln was beginning to get angry. "There is no love here, only cruelty!" Lincoln's eyes sunk. "Maybe I should just stay asleep forever."

"Cruelty, huh?" The other Lincoln began to laugh. "They were wrong in what they did, but you were the one who choice to parade around like a lunatic instead of directly approaching them. This all could have been solved so easily if all you did was ask for a family meeting." It held out the stained rose petal. "Tell me Lincoln, did you use forensic testing on this?"

"N...no?" Lincoln said in confusion.

"Then how can you be 100% positive that this is blood and not something else?" It turned the petal around and examined it closely. "It could be paint, nail polish, lipstick, food coloring, ink, you have no way of knowing for sure. Perhaps they were just trying to send a message."

"A message like what? That I'll be physically harmed if I talk to our other sisters again?"

"That's a possibility." The other Lincoln said. He turned his attention to Lincoln and shot him a condescending look. "Or maybe she was making it red to match the red rose petal she gave you." He let out a chuckle. "Red roses mean romance, and wasn't it you who said white roses mean unity?"

Lincoln angrily grabbed his doppelgänger by the collar and pulled him close. "Cut the shit, how dare you try to accuse me of being the villain here!"

Other Lincoln rolled his eyes. "Oh of course, how could the guy who is literally threatening himself with violence right now possibly be the culprit when he's too busy playing the victim?"

Lincoln released him. He was right. He had been too brash, too quick to assume things that he lost sight of himself.

"Oh cheer up sport, you were the one who decided to become a devil, where you not?"

"That was-"

"That was you giving up on yourself." The Other Lincoln interrupted. "It's no use lying to me kiddo, I am you." A grin formed on his face. "That's what happens when you start splitting your personality like that."

Lincoln sighed. "Alright, "me" what do you suggest I do?"

"I think that we should wake up." Other Lincoln said. He glanced down at his freshly manicured fingernails. "There's a lot of young girls waiting for us to return to consciousness, who are we to deny nine angels of the devil they've grown attached to?"

"Don't you mean eight?" Lincoln said. "One of them raped me."

"Doesn't make her intentions any less pure." Other Lincoln insisted. "Perhaps she just wasn't sure how to express herself and lost control of her better judgement." He blew on his hands and buffed his nail with his thumb. "At one point, we may have been able to be mad at her, but at this point that would be hypocritical, no?"

"So you want me to just forgive and forget?!"

"Of course not Lincoln. But we need to at least hear her out." Other Lincoln put his hand on Lincoln's shoulder. "We've put some terrible strain on our body, and in the process we've probably been putting a lot more strain on our family. Let's wake up and fixing it the Lincoln Loud way."

"But how? I'm weak,I'm a failure." Lincoln said with his head down.

The Other Lincoln lifted his head up softly with his hand. "No man is a failure who has friends Lincoln." He gave him a smile. "And what we have is better than friends, we have a village's worth of family who would go to the moon and back for us. One of them got carried away, so we need to do our part and go to the moon for them!"

"But we don't even know who that was." Lincoln said. "And what if I take it bad when I finally find out who it was?"

"There isn't really a way for us to take it well Lincoln. I hated that night just as much as you did." Other Lincoln replied. "But we can at least listen to her whole story and then decide how to proceed. But we have to do it as ourself, not some devil, and not some self loathing shell."

"That's easy for you to say, you're not the one going through it."

The Other Lincoln started to laugh hysterically. "You're joking right?" He said, a tear in his eye. "I'm you Lincoln, and you're me." He touched the area above Lincoln's heart. "After you got raped, your psyche went so far out of whack that you lost track of me, you're true self. But I never left. You always had the ability to find me, to find the real you."

"Then, why did it take until now?" Lincoln asked.

"Simple, you haven't been getting enough rest." Other Lincoln said casually. "You were trying to solve this whole mess with the mentality of a starving, sleep deprived barbarian."

"Then, what if I go back to being that as soon as I wake up?" Lincoln asked, completely unsure of himself.

The Other Lincoln punched him in the arm.

"Ow!" Lincoln said.

"You still haven't realized it, have you?" He said.

"Realized what?"

"Your sisters are what keep you from being like that." Other Lincoln replied. "Just look back to all the interactions you had with them. Modeling with Leni, manicures with Lori, guitar with Luna, rehearsing with Lucy and Lola, frog hunting with Lana, racing Lynn, making scientific discoveries with Lisa, comforting Luan, they are the key to you being you."

Lincoln thought about it. Maybe he was right?

"I am right." Other Lincoln said.

"How did you know what I was thinking?" Lincoln asked.

"Because I'm you dummy, we share the same thoughts." He said with a laugh. "Just don't ignore them like you've been and you should be able to find the courage to get through this."

"You're right." Lincoln said. "I may not know what will happen when I see them next, and I may still be afraid of all of them, but I can't figure anything out without them around me." Lincoln smiled. He held his hand out to his doppelgänger. "You ready to wake up buddy?"

The Other Lincoln smiled back and took shook his hand strongly. "I thought you would never ask."

"Alright then." Lincoln said.

"LET'S DO THIS!" They both shouted as the void started getting brighter. "It's time to see the sky!"

The view was white as Lincoln opened his eyes. But it was a familiar white. There were a few cracks, and some odd textures everywhere. It was one of the most familiar sights in the world to him. The ceiling of his bedroom.

"HE'S AWAKE!" A voice cried out.

Lincoln didn't even have time to breath before he was rushed by all of his sisters, including Lily.

"Hey guys, sorry to bother you." He said with a light chuckle. He reached up to feel his forehead, but Lori quickly slapped his hand away.

"No touching! The doctor put some stitches in." She said strictly.

"Yeah, he said if you pick at it too much, you'll get a scar." Luna added.

"I won't have one already?" He asked.

"No, thankfully it wasn't that bad." Lynn said with a sigh.

"What time is it anyway?" Lincoln asked. He was about to sit up, but his sisters pushed him back down.

"It's noon, we all stayed home to look after you." Leni said.

"Yeah, what gives Lincoln?! I thought I told you to take care of yourself!" Lana said, tears starting to form in her eyes.

"I'm sorry Lana, I wasn't paying attention and tripped this morning." Lincoln replied. "I didn't even noticed the cut until Lucy chimed in."

"I never mistake real blood when I see it." Lucy said.

"Not only that, your blood sugar levels were uncharacteristically low" Lisa injected.

"Anyway guys, I'm sorry for scaring you all like that again, I promise it won't happen a third time."

"It better not, or you'll really be sorry!" Lola said angrily.

Lincoln started to laugh. "Alright, I'll hold you to that." He said playfully. Lincoln looked around the room. All of his sisters were present, now would probably be the best time to start being honest like he told himself.

"Hey guys, I need to say something." He started. "Something came up and it caused me to want to avoid you all these past couple of days." His eyes wandered around. All of his sisters were attentively looking at him. "I thought that was the only thing I could do, but I was wrong. I need you all more than anything." His lips moved into a soft smile. "I guess what I want to say is, I'm sorry for how I acted. I love you all, and I hope you can forgive me. For everything"

He was greeted but a huge hug from all of his sisters combined. In a world full of nothing but fear and pain, this moment was pure bliss. It reminded him a lot of the moments just before this all started. Lincoln started to cry. As he looked to his sisters, he noticed they all had tears coming out of their closed eyes. Things would be difficult going forward, but with the love and support of these ten angels, maybe he could finally start to heal.

After the hug, his sisters excused themselves so he could rest. Lincoln checked his room,no new notes were anywhere to be found, but that was fine. He opened his backpack and wrote his one of his own.

"Whoever you are, I love you and I'm ready to talk about all of this -Lincoln."

If she would keep her trend going, she would come in while he was asleep to try and leave another. Lincoln looked over and saw a vase on his desk. Inside it was a bouquet of nine red roses. He went over to his basket and pulled out the last of his white roses. He placed in the vase and left the note alongside it.

"Perfect." He said as he looked at the scene. Nine roses of red and one of white. It was just like his family. He had given them all a rose, and they gave him one back.

Lincoln took his pain medication and laid back down. As he closed his eyes, he started to smile. Tomorrow was another day, and he was going to solve this whole thing. He may have been lost for a while, but he was found. He now had the strength to do anything, and it was with him all along.

Two things heavily inspired this chapter. The first was a spontaneous nosebleed that occurred while I was writing this. The second was a time when I was a kid where I actually did bust my forehead open. I guess I was in shock of something because I didn't notice at all. I only found out because my family freaked out when they saw me, which confused me before making me freak out when I saw the blood(oddly enough, this was not the only point in my life where I severely injured myself and didn't notice until someone else reacted to it, one of which caused a permanent scar on my arm.)

I also wanted to finally address the internal struggle and bring it to an end. It has been the primary theme of this whole story, and I didn't want it to get stale. So with his confidence back, and his fears taken away, can Lincoln finally figure out which sister did it? How will he react to it? Only time will tell.