(turns away from audience in shame.)

I know. I know. I'm sorry this is so late. But trust me: you do not want to know why.

This chapter may be a little confusing. There's a POV switch. It starts from Val's perspective but ends with Leah's.

Disclaimer: I disown Twilight.

Doctors were wrong. A little caffeine could do wonders for a jumpy heart. Val was beginning to realize how Moses had become addicted to tea with sugar over the centuries. Forget Chicken Soup; A Pot of Tea Blends for the Soul tasted better. Sitting in a small, mostly empty diner on the outskirts of Boise, with good tea and better eggs, Val was beginning to come to life.

The same, however, could not be said for Moses.

The past hour since leaving the motel had been interesting. Moses was torn between being furious with Val for the repercussions that killing the vampires would bring, and proud of him for remembering the lessons from years ago. He was proud of Leah for holding her own, and not too mad that she'd borrowed his signature move. And he nearly had an aneurysm when he looked through all her memories and saw the Cullens and their army. And a couple other things. After digging through the boxes he'd stored in the truck, Moses bundled up in a wool hat and cardigan to look inconspicuous (and quickly achieving the opposite affect) and sequestered himself away in the backseat. Val tried to ignore him during the drive, but Moses kept moaning, "I'm too old for this."

Moses had been in retirement for ten years, but Val suspected he missed the hunting part of the job too. And Val also suspected that Moses wasn't talking about that.

Sure enough, shortly after his first sip of tea, Moses rested his head on Leah's shoulder, tapped himself on the forehead, and described Val's thoughts exactly: "It's getting stone weird up here."

"What happened?" Beck asked.

"Apparently, the Cullens not only faced the Volturi without fighting, but they seem to consider themselves the greatest beings to walk the earth since Jesus Christ… and maybe even including him."

"If I were Jesus, I'd seek vengeance." Val was only half joking with this comment.

"I'm surprised he hasn't. These Cullens…" Moses screwed up his face in disgust, drained his cup of tea, poured a new one, and tried again. "Things have a strange way of working out perfectlyfor them, no matter what they do."

"So playing poker with them is a bad idea?"

Moses was not impressed. "If you don't start taking this seriously, I am going to have to kill you."

"No!" Beck looked terrified. Moses flushed red and Val smirked.

"Don't worry, Beck. He was being sarastic. And I am taking this seriously; I'm just trying not to think about it too much."

Moses rolled his eyes. "If wishes were horses, I could get to Florida without your help."

Briefly, Val wondered if Moses cared about making sense anymore, but it was time to change the subject. "Since you clearly think I'm an idiot, do you have any escape plans?"

Moses sat up a little straighter at the mention of scheming. Leah looked relieved to have his head off her shoulder. "Is he always like… this?" she asked.

"Yes," the three of them said in unison. Leah blinked, and blinked again. Val wondered if she was regretting staying with them.

"How long have you all known each other?"

"I've known Jeppeson for twenty-one years, and Beckett for four." Moses suddenly became very preoccupied with his scrambled eggs. The story of how Val met Moses always managed to make both of them depressed.

"Have the both of you always been like this?" Leah sounded like she was afraid of the answer.

"No." Again with the unison. The few other patrons were starting to stare. Val decided to spare Moses having to stumble his way through that story, but just this once.

"Look, I met him when I was seven and followed him around for a few years. And then he decided to help out with basic training and we were sort of friends until we were forced to live together and I discovered how annoying Senior Assassins can be."

"What are Senior Assassins, exactly?" Leah asked. "You've talked about them before."

Surprisingly enough, it was Beck who answered. "Senior Assassins are eighty-five of Cecil's best hunters, but they only ever have to hunt when there's serious trouble. Mostly they train and/or abuse new hunters."

Moses raised an eyebrow at Val, who blushed. "What? I didn't tell him that."

"Well, kudos to whoever did tell him. It's exactly right. The Seniors haven't been as busy these days as they were in the glory days…" Moses took on a look of nostalgia, like he always got when he was going through the billions of memories he'd collected over the centuries. "The Senior Assassins…"

Suddenly, he jumped up and yelled, "The Senior Assassins!"

Sometimes, Val wondered if Moses did things like this just to get attention, like all those spoiled young ccelebrities. After nervously explaining to the other patrons that Moses was a die-hard Assassin's Creed fan, Val covered Beck's ears and hissed, "Moses, you jackass!"

"It's the perfect plan!" Moses was whisper-shouting now, waving his hands. "Think about it! What do the Senior Assassins do when actually they have a case?"

"Spank whoever dared disturbed the peace to kingdom come?"

"Exactly! Vampires pissed at the local shifters… isn't that close to disturbing the peace?" The grin on Moses' face would've sent a sociopathic businessman running for cover. "Plus, if those vampires from the alley knew already, Cecil might've gotten wind of it."

"Or the Cullens aren't terrified of anything with wires and a screen like you are. Still, I like the plan. Except for one thing…" Val lost his train of thought as he thought of that one terrible, horrible, awful thing about Moses' plan.

Moses frowned. "What's wrong?"

"I actually have to call Cecil, right?"

Moses was gracious enough to wait until everyone was finished eating. And he pleasantly surprised Val by apparently possessing money that he was willing to use for 'special occasions' such as this (buying clothes didn't count, what the hell). But as soon as they were done, he shepherded everyone out to the truck. Val knew he wasn't going to get out of this. So he sat in the truck and dialled the number, grinning slightly at the trio outside. Moses didn't think it would be a good idea for Cecil to find out about Leah, and it would be a terrible thing if he found out about Beck, so the three of them were in the parking lot. Beck and Leah were standing a safe distance away, pretending not to notice anything strange, and Moses was jumping around, trying to silently dictate what Val said to Cecil. It was funny enough that Val wasn't going to tell him that Cecil hadn't-

"Hello?"

Scratch that, he had answered. The thick Welsh accent was familiar, but nowhere near comforting.

"Hello, sir. This is Jeppeson Valentine."

"Ah, hello, Val." Even the nickname he'd had since childhood sounded scary coming from one of the two most deadly dhampirs in the world. "From your delay in report, I expect to hear interesting things."

"I apologize, sir. It's been a long few days. The vampires were having some… troubles with the local shape-shifters."

"Really? What kind of trouble?"

Val carefully opened the truck's door and repeated, "What kind of trouble?"

Moses pointed to Leah.

"Um… a shapeshifter…"

Next, Moses made a heart with his hands and twisted his face into a zombie-like expression.

"Imprinted…"

Now, Moses was pointing to himself.

"On a dhampir?" Moses nodded so hard, it was a wonder he didn't shake something loose. Like another screw.

"On a dhampir? Really? I must say, that is interesting. How old is the lucky girl?"

"Five, but she looks like she's fifteen. Not all the shifters are happy about this, you see." If Leah is anything to go by, that is. "Um, there was a bit of a fight. The shifter is fine, but she might have a scar."

"She? A female shape-shifter? What kind?" Luckily for Leah's co-shifters, Cecil was always hesitant to bring in shape-shifters as recruits, especially if they turned into violent creatures.

"From the smell, probably wolves." This reminded Val of the conversation they'd had yesterday. "She has a brother. Imagine what he'll think of this."

Of course Val had no idea what Leah's brother would think, or if he was even still part of the pack, being off to school from the sound of things. But in his place, Val would've been pretty pissed.

Cecil, however, took the bait. "That could present a problem. Alright, I'll take a few Seniors and see what I can see."

"You might be better off taking all the Seniors, sir." The plan was working! Actually working! "This coven sounds like it has a lot of allies."

Moses beamed and danced around like a mime on E. Val barely held in a laugh of pure joy.

"Hmm… fine. Good work, Val, even if you are late."

"Out of curiosity, sir… if you were really that anxious to know what was happening, why didn't you call me?"

"Felix paid me a visit. Aro wanted to make sure my guard wasn't getting bigger than his. And we lost four of our trainees yesterday. I thought they were old enough to handle the Tallahassee pack, but I guess I was wrong." Cecil didn't seem very unhappy that he was wrong about their age. No, he was angrier about the fact that nothing had been done about the wolf pack from Tallahassee, and said so.

"Sorry I asked, sir. Oh, that reminds me! These Cullens and their allies faced down the Volturi and lived."

"The Volturi!?" like anything with vampiric roots, Cecil either hated or was afraid of the Volturi (probably best to assume the former). And they didn't exactly love him, either. "Well, alright then. I'm on my way. You can come back to Jacksonville, Val. I'll find something for you to do. I heard you were very good at things involving werewolves."

"Thank you," was all Val said, disconnecting before the irony could make him laugh. Or cry. He'd get hell from Cecil for hanging up on him, but he couldn't keep talking. The conversation had already been way more awkward than it needed to be.

Seeing that the deed had been done, Moses let out a loud whoop, and then began skipping around the parking lot. Silently. Which made it creepy for everybody. By now, the diner's staff and patrons were coming out to see the crazy little man, who was jumping around in a wool hat that he liked to wear on warm days.

Beck took one look at Moses and ran to the truck. "Dad, why does he have to do that?"

"I think pretending to be sane wears him out, so he has to explode every once in awhile."

Beck was not convinced. He climbed over Val's lap into the passenger's side and hunkered down. Outside, Moses was attracting some very unwanted attention from a few truck drivers.

"Hey, Beck, remember when you were little and he came over for supper and I told you that you shouldn't ask him too many questions?"

"Yeah."

"I take it back. Ask him all the questions you want to."

This got Beck's attention. He was at the age where kids never stopped asking questions. He may have been quiet the past few days, but only because of the sudden and random change in routine.

"What about Leah? Can I ask her questions, too?" his face had lit up. When most kids got that expression, it was because they'd been given candy. Someday the boy was going to be a teacher.

"I don't know. You have to get her permission first." Val didn't need Moses' permission to let Beck interrogate him. He had to be used to kids doing it by now. Leah, however, might crack.

At that moment, Leah slowly walked to the truck, keeping one eye on Moses the whole time. "I know this sounds bad… but can we just leave him here?"

Val grinned. "I'll drive. You say it was an accident."

"Really?" asked Beck.

"No. But only because I don't know how to use a flamethrower." Val sighed. "I'm not going to try and catch him, though. We might get lucky and he'll wear himself out."

Moses promptly appeared behind Leah. He threw his arms around her waist and shouted, "I love outsmarting Cecil!"

Leah jumped about a foot. "Jeez, Moses! I may never have the hiccups again!" she snapped. "How does someone so small move so quickly?"

"I may be small but I move like Jagger." Moses was still smiling. "Are you ready to go?"

Moses had yanked the rug out from under their feet so many times, it was a wonder they didn't have concussions. But at least they had something resembling a plan, and Cecil was too preoccupied to be calling Val all the time.

There were so many snide remarks Val could've made, particularly about the Jagger comment (Seriously? Moses was five foot three and tone deaf) but he was too grateful for the chance to leave, and preferably before that nice-looking waitress came over to ask if Moses was on drugs.

(Val wasn't sure of the answer, anyways.)

So they got into the truck and left the employees, the patrons and truck drivers, and possibly the diner itself, wondering what the hell just happened.

(Leah's POV)

About three things was Leah absolutely positive. First, Val, Beck, and Moses could be trusted. Second, there was a part of her, and she didn't know how potent that part might be, that was about to have a nervous breakdown. And third, this was unconditionally and irrevocably the worst situation she had ever been in.

Ever.

Leah didn't know much about Cecil, except that Val seemed to be afraid of him, Moses seemed to hate him, and he had homicidal tendencies and a weird name. But Moses had implied that Cecil was more than capable of holding his own against vampires and that could only be better with eighty-five other people who were the best of the best. Right?

The trouble was that Moses hadn't been that far off the mark when he said things always seemed to magically work out for the Cullens. The Volturi had a large army too, and the Cullens beat them by having one vampire with psychic abilities, and another one with a supernaturally thick skull.

But gifts weren't everything, another part of her brain reasoned. And if Cecil was anywhere close to Moses' age, he had more experience with this sort of thing than the Cullens did.

But what about people she cared about? Most of them were human, but there was Seth. He was going to school in Olympia, but all it would take was one command in the dreaded alpha voice to bring him back.

But Jacob liked Seth. And why would he risk Seth finding out anything?

Leah had been arguing with herself like this since she'd realized what she'd done back in the alley. It hadn't been the first vampire she'd killed, but these two might as well have been Cullens. Val and Moses were very calm about it, but clearly hunting was nothing new to them. And, in Moses' case, neither were headless vampires. That was very small comfort, though: Leah didn't hunt professionally. She didn't really want to start, either.

Beck peeked around the edge of the passenger's seat. "Are you having a heart attack, Leah?"

"No, I'm not."

"Thinking about last night?" Leah couldn't see his face very well, but Val sounded sympathetic. "Don't worry. Those two were probably nomads, so they don't have a coven to get revenge."

"Yes they do! They have the Cullens." Leah buried her face in her hands. She had a feeling that she'd have a hell of a headache soon. "Do you think Cecil can do anything to them?"

Val flinched. "I'm sure he'll be fine. He's got the Seniors. And, to be honest, he enjoys things like this."

"Even when fighting against gifted vampires?"

"He put me in the hospital often enough," Moses offered. "And that was in the last fifteen years before I left."

"Why'd he put you in the hospital?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Okay, so Cecil's good at hurting people. But is he going to go after anyone besides the Cullens? Like my brother or my mom?" Leah felt sick at the thought of something happening to Seth, or her mother, or even Charlie, who had turned out to be much more likable than his daughter.

"The main point of our organization is to protect humankind from the supernatural. Cecil's insane and dangerous, but he won't break his own laws." Val sounded a little bitter when he said this. "And I mentioned your brother to Cecil. You can call him if you want, but Cecil didn't seem too interested in him. Not as interested as he was about Renesmee, anyways."

To anyone else, it would've sounded like he was saying, "Rain Is Me." In spite of herself, Leah laughed nervously. Val looked in the rear-view mirror and made a face.

"What? It's not like pronouncing it correctly makes it a real name."

Leah laughed again, a little less nervously. "I'd keep that to yourself if you ever meet Bella. She likes to think of the name as her first original thought."

Val rolled his eyes and focused on the road again. "Well, I'll give her that, but couldn't she have just named the kid after a character from classic literature or something? That would be pretty original, too."

"It might've been worse, actually. She's the type that reads Romeo and Juliet and calls it a love story." This provoked a shudder from those old enough to know better.

"I guess we don't need to worry about Bella being a danger, unless someone sets her loose on impressionable teenage girls. Still, we can't be too careful," said Moses. "Val, do you have any paper?"

"There's an old copy of the Yellow Pages somewhere. Why?"

"Getting Cecil on the Cullens' case was only the first part of my plan." Moses took a pen out of the pocket of his baggy cardigan and retrieved the Yellow Pages from under the seat. "Now comes the fun part."

This statement was met with silent. It was clear that they were all thinking different versions of "oh shit, what's he planning now?"

Sensing their discomfort, Moses continued. "We need to come up with some rules."

A sigh of relief came from the front. Moses glared. "That wasn't funny, Beckett."

"Sorry." Beck didn't sound sorry at all. Leah couldn't help but laugh again, this time louder and with no nerves at all. Of course, that got Beck started. Val didn't laugh but he looked like he wanted to. Even Moses seemed to be fighting a mouth quirk.

However, that didn't stop him from grumbling, "Damned Valentines. Always doubting me."

I'm sorry about the POV switch. My friend helped me write this chapter. I wanted Leah's POV but she wanted Val's, so we were forced to compromise.

I'm planning on letting Leah have the next chapter to herself. Hopefully it'll be up sooner.

For the record, the awkward phone call with Cecil is based on conversations I've had with my manager. He's nothing like Cecil in the slightest (thank God), but our relationship is something like The Pink Panther and the Little Man.
(I'm the Little Man.)

Read and review please!