I give you chapter 6 oh faithful and loved readers.
Chapter 6
Rachel looked round the fairly large private hospital room, according to Doctor White and Mrs Puckerman she'd been in a coma for almost a week, she had bandages on her wrists told her that she'd failed to take her own life, something she knew Quinn would never let her live down. 'I can see it now. "You can't even die properly. Can't you do anything right?" Or "Next time cut deeper and save us all the trouble of having to see your pathetic face." Oh yes, I can see it clearly now.'
Coach Sylvester had stayed with her for most of the tests that Dr White had performed to see whether her memory was still intact, she hadn't said anything to Rachel about the suicide, only held her hand and smiled as Rachel answered all questions asked of her before apologising for her Cheerios and assuring her that punishments have been given. She'd left the girl to wait for her fathers and that's when the guilt and shame washed over her; she'd tried to take her own life, thus hurting her fathers, Coach Sylvester, Coach Beiste and Ms Pillsbury, the three women who'd been trying to help her and the men that would always love and support her.
'I wish I had cut deeper or taken more pills.' She looked down at her wrists again before shoving them under the blanket almost instantly regretting her thought at the notion of her fathers having to bury her.
Outside the room Dr White was explaining to the newly arrived group about Rachel's possible mental state; whether she'd be feeling suicidal again for a short period of time or whether she'd recover fully.
"I think for now you should wait for her to address the situation, also maybe have her see a therapist." Dr White concluded.
"Rachel won't see anyone, she's closed herself off since her mother decided that she didn't want a relationship with her and adopted another baby." Ms Pillsbury explained. "It took some convincing for her to come and see me."
"And we're thankful that she did." Hiram smiled gratefully before turning back to the doctor. "Thank you Dr White." The doctor nodded before turning and walking away. Hiram turned to Tina, Mike, Noah, Sam and Artie. "If you kids don't mind, my husband and I would like a few moments alone with Rachel before we ask her if she wants to see you."
Tina opened her mouth to protest but Mike put a hand on her shoulder. "Of course, we don't want to rush Rachel into seeing us; what we've done is horrible and we can't expect her to welcome us into her life with open arms."
"Thank you." Leroy smiled. "We'd also appreciate it if no one outside of this group knew just yet; at least until Rachel decides that she's comfortable. We'll tell Principle Figgins that she's awake but I would like Mr Schuester kept out of the knowledge until we've thought about what to do with him and your Glee club."
"What are you going to do to the Glee club?" Artie asked worriedly; these men had almost lost their daughter to bullying within a club that she loved and was supposed to feel safe and included, they were also very powerful and influential, they could completely cancel the program if Rachel asked them to.
"The Glee club's fate was already doomed to start with, but I can tell you this; Figgins' promise to stop the club is very real if you don't place at Regionals and then at least get into the top ten at Nationals." Coach Sylvester told them. "And you have to do it without Rachel."
"If there's one thing we want more than anything; it's our daughter's safety," Leroy began, "if she doesn't want to return to the club because she feels unsafe in that environment then she won't be going back. Hiram and I can force her not to go back so it's entirely up to her."
"She's joined the Artists club and the Gymnastics team, if you succeed at Regionals and Nationals and get another year and if she wants to come back to the New Directions next year then that's her choice." Coach Beiste informed them. "You're not allowed to pressure her into coming back when she's not ready."
"There is nothing that goes on in that choir room that I don't know about." Coach Sylvester warned.
Noah was only half listening; he was trying to see through the small window into Rachel's room but the bed was out of view, he frowned and thought back to what he'd said to her when she 'broke up' with him the previous year. '"We were never friends before." How could I say that to her? She's been my friend since we were babies, longer than I'd known Finn and yet I denied all those years before high school for popularity and Cheerios.'
"Puck, where's your head at?" Sam asked quietly.
"You don't want to know." He mumbled back.
"Why don't you kids come back in a few minutes? Hiram and I just want to talk to our daughter alone and then you can see her." Leroy told them as he placed his hand on the door.
The teenagers went to protest but a look from Coach Beiste and Coach Sylvester silenced them and they went away with the teachers to the waiting room. Hiram and Leroy stepped inside their daughter's room.
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Rachel could hear her fathers, Sue, Shannon, Emma and some of the Glee club outside her door, she wasn't sure if she wanted to see anyone at the moment but the door opened anyway and she was somewhat relieved to see her fathers step inside, then she remembered why they were here in the first place and looked down in shame, her eyes burning with tears and her face flushed.
"We know what you're thinking right now honey." Her daddy sat to the left while her dad sat to the right of her. "We won't ask you anything until you want to talk." Hiram held her hand; she flinched at the gentle contact.
"Daddy? Dad? Can you forgive me?" She eventually spoke, Hiram and Leroy had to strain to hear her.
"Sweetheart, there's nothing to forgive." Leroy wiped his own tears before wiping hers. "You were hurting and alone, the people you thought were your friends had just horribly humiliated you and it was the final straw."
"But I- I hurt you both." She cried. "I w-was self-selfish and I- I-" She broke down.
"You weren't being selfish honey," Hiram moved closer and held her. "When your teacher called us and told us months ago that you were being bullied we were furious that we couldn't see it in the first place, when Shannon called and told us that you'd tried to take your own life we were heartbroken that we weren't there to help you but glad that Shannon and Sue found you just in time."
"We promise to be better fathers to you Rachel, no more long business trips and if we have to be away from you, one of us will be here so you will never be alone or made to feel alone." Leroy promised.
"But you both work so hard, I don't want either of you to give up your careers because you have to babysit me." Rachel frowned slightly; it was sounding as though they didn't trust her to be alone anymore.
"We will always trust you to be responsible honey, but we need to know that you are safe and loved." Leroy added when he caught her frown. "If we both have to be away then I'm sure Mrs Puckerman, Emma, Sue or Shannon will be thrilled to help you."
"Our trust in you isn't in question here Rachel, but the people around you in school." Hiram added. "We love our jobs but we love you more."
Rachel nodded. "I'm so sorry." She cried again and buried her face in Hiram's chest.
"We know you are honey. We know." They sat in silence for a few more minutes before Hiram spoke again. "Noah, Sam, Mike, Tina and Artie are here to see you, as well as Shannon, Emma and Sue, would you like us to send them in or send them away."
'I don't know if I can handle seeing the Glee club right now.' "Is it just Noah, Sam, Mike, Tina and Artie?" she asked worriedly.
"Yes honey, the rest of that club won't know unless you want them to, the same goes for Mr Schuester." Leroy rubbed her back.
"Can I see Shannon, Sue and Emma first? I will see the others but I just want my moms."
Hiram and Leroy smiled at the description she'd given the three women who'd helped her so much in the last few months and nodded, they stood and went to the door.
"We love you Rachel, so much; nothing you could ever do will change that or disappoint us." Hiram smiled back at her.
"I love you too."
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Outside Noah was getting impatient; the Berry men had been more than a few minutes and he was desperate to see Rachel, to make anything and everything up to her. When the older men came out of the room he stood immediately and looked hopefully at the door.
"She will see you kids but she wants to see Emma, Sue and Shannon first." Hiram told them looking directly at him. Noah sank back down in the chair he'd abandoned and threw his head into his hands, he felt someone sit beside him; it was Shannon.
"She does want to see you pumpkin, just be patient a little longer." She assured.
"I just have so much to make up for." He whispered brokenly.
"Not as much as you'd think." She whispered back before standing and joining the other women at the door, they stepped through and closed it behind them.
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Still crying from her fathers' words of love and support Rachel barely heard the door open again before closing, she did however, feel the bed sink and three hands touch her.
"You must all think I'm pathetic too." She whispered.
"Never. Don't even think for a minute that you're pathetic." Sue told her fiercely. "Those others in that club are pathetic, you're not."
"You only did what any normal teenager thought he or she should do in your situation." Emma told her gently. "We're just sorry that we couldn't have done more to help you, maybe if we had you wouldn't have chosen that way out."
"You three did everything." Rachel protested. "I let you all down."
"You didn't let us down pumpkin." Shannon assured. "You broke, it happens to everyone, there is only so much that a person can take and we each deal with our pain differently, you saw no alternative because you'd tried everything else already, it's human nature."
"But-"
"No buts Streisand." Sue said sharply. "If anyone let you down in this world it's William Schuester; he could have stopped the bullying well before it escalated like he did with Hummel but instead he ignored it and even joined in."
Rachel nodded. "I only wanted to be part of a world where I was accepted for everything about me."
"We all want that, look at the three of us; you've got Emma who has issues with OCD, Shannon eats more chicken than is humanly possible and I'm a hard hearted bitch." Sue told her.
"You're not completely hard hearted." Rachel smiled. "I don't know why I got so upset when Shelby walked out on me to play happy families with Noah's daughter, I have three moms."
The three women smiled and moved in for a hug when there was a knock at the door and Hiram poked his head inside.
"Sorry to interrupt ladies but Noah's getting pretty anxious to see you honey, as well as Tina."
"Ok daddy." Rachel held onto Shannon's sleeve nervously. Hiram went back out.
"It'll be ok Rachel, they feel awful for what they've done and haven't done." Emma assured her.
"We'll be right outside so if you don't want to talk to them anymore you just yell." Sue pointed to the door.
Rachel nodded and let go of the women so they could leave, she straightened out the bed sheets and frowned as she caught a glimpse of herself in the shiny reflection of the window. 'God I look awful.'
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"If she wants you to leave then you leave, understand?" Sue glared at the teenagers the moment she, Shannon and Emma stepped out of the room.
"Yes ma'am." Mike looked to the door.
"Alright then, go in and not a single question or word about why. Got that?" Shannon looked at them hard.
The teenagers nodded and opened the door quietly. They could see Rachel looking in the window, Tina held back a choked sob but failed to keep it back for long when she caught a glimpse of Rachel's wrists. Rachel, startled by the noise, turned and saw them standing in the doorway.
"Do you mind closing the door please? It's a little cold." She asked.
Mike immediately closed the door and wheeled Artie in closer to the bed, no one said anything for a moment, and the only sounds came from Tina's quiet sobs, until finally Sam cleared his throat.
"We're really sor-" He was cut off by Tina who openly and noisily sobbed as she threw her arms around Rachel.
"We're so sorry Rachel, we're so sorry for everything." She wailed as she held onto Rachel as though she would disappear in the next moment. "We should have stopped the others or reported Mr Schue but instead we sat back and now you're here because we were lousy friends."
Caught by surprise Rachel froze for a moment before hesitantly wrapping an arm round the younger girl's waist, her own tears falling. 'She's genuinely sorry.' She sniffed and wiped her eyes with her free hand before she gently pried Tina from her. "Why didn't you guys stop the others Friday night?"
"We didn't know what they were going to do until Finn knocked on the door and you opened it." Sam explained. "Puck sent Beiste an email Monday morning with everyone's names and Figgins had us all in to talk to him about it."
She didn't know whether to believe them or not, she wanted to, but she just couldn't bring herself to open up to them again and be hurt. "Noah, if Finn found out that you turned him in your friendship will be over with him, he's your best friend."
"No, you were my best friend, remember?" He asked. "Kindergarten right through to middle school, before Finn came into the picture. Your life was always more important than Finn's friendship, or lack of, he's done nothing to prove that he's my friend, only asked that I prove myself to him."
She bit her lip. "I didn't want your friendship to be ruined again."
"Princess, I ruined my friendship with Hudson when I got his girl pregnant last year and the kiss between you and me was also my fault. You haven't ruined anything for anyone."
"Except Glee club."
No one said anything for a moment. "You don't really believe what Quinn said do you?" Artie asked eventually. "Because it's not true you know, we may all say that it's Finn who brought the club together but in fact it was actually you; you're the reason we even made it to Regionals last year and if you had been on lead at Sectionals this year we wouldn't have tied, we would have won."
"He's right; I know you threw the duets competition to make me feel more welcome in your own way." Sam added.
"You haven't ruined anyone's lives Rachel." Mike sat on the edge of the bed and took her hand. "You may have sent Sunshine to an in-active crack house but you probably knew that she'd accept any invitation she got to Vocal Adrenaline from the start, you just saved us from the trouble of having her leave us close to a competition."
"No one else seemed to understand that, even you didn't at the time."
"Well we do now." Tina added tearfully. "You sent her to the Asian district where you knew that Mike and I would find her. You didn't want her to be hurt; you just wanted her out of the way. What you did was for love for us."
Rachel nodded. 'That's what I was trying to tell everyone from the beginning but they only saw it as me being selfish.' "I know that the pressure is on for you guys to win Regionals and Nationals now, I'd like to help you guys with the songs. I owe you that much seeing as if you don't win and the Glee club will be disbanded it will be because of me."
"No, it will be because of us and our treatment of you since before it began." Artie told her. "And we'll accept all the help we can get; Mr Schue's finally seen that the judges are looking for originality and the song you wrote was killer."
"I still want to help, I have songs that I've been working on all year, I think Shannon has them, there's a nice duet I wrote, I didn't really have an idea of who would sing it but I'd like you and Mike to sing it Tina, for Regionals."
"Really? You'd give us your songs?" Tina had a fresh wave of tears running down her cheeks.
"I don't want you to be unprepared like we were last year, I know you have all of your community service projects going on as well, and unlike myself not all of you can handle the pressure of making a difference in the community and write songs suitable for competitions, so I want everyone to be-" She stopped herself when she saw the grins on her former team mates faces. "What? Was it something I said?" She thought back to her words and covered her mouth in shock and a little shame. "I'm so sorry, I hadn't realised I sounded like-"
"Like your old self?" Noah grinned. "Like some badass performer who knows what any kind of judge is looking for and knows exactly how to get the right attention in competitions."
"Don't apologise for being who you are Rach, we should have accepted you from the start instead of pushing you to try and change yourself because we were jealous." Mike smiled.
Before Rachel could answer there was a knock at the door, it opened and Hiram poked his head through the small gap between the door and the frame. "I'm sorry kids but visiting hours are almost over and Dr White wants to give Rachel one final check over before bed." He said gently. "You can come and see her tomorrow after school."
Knowing that they had no choice but to leave and noticing that Rachel was getting tired, though she tried to hide it through her smiles and realising that she smiled on a daily basis to hide her pain, the group got up to leave, Sam pushed Artie out last as he was closest to the bed, Tina hesitated a little before throwing her arms around Rachel and then leaving, throwing her new friend a little smile and a wave as Rachel settled herself down for the night.