At the knock, Arthur looked up from the screen. "Come in."

He expected Merlin but instead, Sefa, a relatively new housekeeper, entered instead.

"Your highness." She curtsied, balancing the tray she carried carefully in her arms. "Fresh water and some biscuits for you, your highness."

"Thank you," he said. "Would you bring them over?"

She nodded then gracefully placed the tray on the table. Occasionally, she darted glances at him and he smiled encouragingly. He knew his father could be hard on the servants so he tried not to be the same.

"If you don't mind, your highness, may I tidy your room?"

"Of course. Pretend I'm not around."

Usually, cleaning of the rooms were done when the rooms were empty but Arthur supposed the fact that he rarely left his room meant that Sefa had little choice. He watched as she deftly pulled the sheets off his bed, then followed by slipping on new sheets. She seemed like a good worker, he thought absently. Their eyes met again and he smiled at her. She flushed and looked away.

He reread the email from Leon, highlighting a few issues that had cropped up recently, and once again suggesting that Arthur should stop hiding in the shadows. Arthur made a note of the issues and ignored the second part of the email. He was well aware that putting his face on the Albion Hearts charity would immediately trigger a great deal of publicity and following that, funds but funds wasn't the problem here. And despite both Leon and Merlin's insistence that he was just being paranoid, Arthur was pretty certain that all that would happen was his past being dug up again and the charity dragged into that mess.

And the charity was the one thing that meant a lot to him, the one thing that he had actually been successful at in life, the one thing he hadn't ruined. Yet.

By the time he replied to Leon's email, Sefa was gone. He glanced at the time on his screen, groaning when he realised that it was soon to be lunch time. Usually he ate in the cosy Green Room with Merlin but today, his father was back from whatever diplomatic trip he had been on and had arranged lunch with him. A stickler for protocol, his father would expect him to be dressed formally and in the dining hall on time. Arthur wondered if Merlin would want to join them for lunch.

Merlin less than gracefully declined. In fact, over the phone, he'd laughed at the suggestion. Which left Arthur all alone with his father, who as usual was eyeing him critically while poking at his broccoli.

"Morgana returns tomorrow."

Arthur nodded. "She told me."

"Are you attending the Prime Minister's ball tomorrow?"

"You know I am, father." Arthur stabbed at his salad. "I'll be happy not to go if Morgana wants to go instead."

As expected, his father ignored his words. "I saw the papers. That girl is the bodyguard Merlin chose? She doesn't look like she is up to the job."

Arthur sighed then moved his roasted potatoes from the five o'clock position to the nine o'clock position on his plate. "Merlin assures me that she is more than capable. She has good references."

His father gave him a disbelieving look, then shook his head. "I've arranged for more security in the palace as well. Are you sure you haven't done anything dumb again that has resulted in all these threats? It's going to come out eventually, probably in the news, so you might as well tell me."

"No, father."

"I don't need more scandals originating from you. Sometimes I wonder what it is I did wrong that you are like this."

Arthur chewed on his food and kept his eyes on the table. Years of experience had taught him that there was no use challenging his father and there were moments when he wondered if his father was actually right about him.

"You know how much that incident cost me and is still costing me. All the goodwill of the people won by my parents and your mother wiped out by your actions, the amount of damage control that had to be –"

Arthur had heard this line so many times in the past few years that it sometimes surprised him how much the words still hurt and how much emotions they stirred up in him. "I think Lord Odin lost more than any of us," he said quietly, his fingers tightening around the fork and knife he was holding.

His father looked coldly at him. "If not for you, no one would have lost anything."

There was nothing to say to that. As calmly as he could, Arthur placed his cutlery on the table, and stood. "Excuse me, father. I've lost my appetite."

Back in his room, Arthur flopped on his bed and closed his eyes as he tried to push the memories out of his mind. The screech of tyres, the heat from the fire, the screaming then the blaring of the ambulance sirens. Then, the constant demands from everyone for answers.

"You really need to forgive yourself."

"What the hell?" Jerked out from his miserable thoughts, Arthur sat up to see Merlin lounging at his desk. "Why are you lurking in my room? No, never mind. I don't want to know. Go away."

"I thought you might want to know that you've received another letter and made an appearance on the Royal Watch website."

Arthur fell back onto his bed, throwing his arm across his eyes. "No. I don't want to know any of that. Now, go away."

Ignoring his instructions as usual, Merlin continued, "Also, your sister returns tomorrow."

"I can't wait. With her back, father can focus his attention on her and pretend I don't exist."

He heard Merlin stand. "You know that's not about to happen. Like it or not, you're the crown prince and your father is right. You need to –"

"Don't start." A cold hand closed tightly around his heart, a feeling that was far too familiar to Arthur. "You, of all people, know I've tried. People see what they want to see and, you know, maybe there's an element of truth in their impression of me."

"Arthur." Merlin's long-suffering tone was back. "It's been 5 years. How long are you going to punish yourself?"

Lifting his arm from his face, Arthur stared at the ceiling and shrugged. "I don't have to go to work, I attend parties all the time, I open the occasional school or hospital and spend money like water. I even have a hired girlfriend – I'm hardly suffering."

Even without looking, Arthur could imagine the look on Merlin's face. Disapproval with a mix of exasperation, his lips pressed together. If he was really annoyed, those huge ears of his would probably be tinged red.

"You can't live like that," said Merlin quietly.

Arthur forced a smile. "It's a great life."

There was a long silence and for a moment, Arthur thought Merlin might have left the room. He turned his head to see Merlin standing at the window.

"Leon is going to send over details of the new requirements for non-profits. Feel up to looking through them with me? Plus, I'm thinking of making some changes as to how we identify who to help. I think it's been a bit of a hit and miss at the moment."

Merlin rolled his eyes but smiled. "Fine. But I've a meeting with Gwen this evening to pass her the latest letter and get updates on her investigation."

"Hmm."

"The pictures on Royal Watch suggest that you two got a long well." Clearly, Merlin had found his sense of humour again.

This time, it was memories of kissing Gwen that he tried to push out of his mind. He didn't need to remember the kiss he'd replayed in his mind several times last night and he didn't need to think about how soft her lips were and how they felt against his. Then he remembered her quiet disapproval of him.

"She's pleasant enough."

"I'm glad. I was worried before," said Merlin. "I would be happier when this whole situation goes away."

"Yeah. Me too."

AN: Sorry for the wait. :)