Chapter VII: Angra Mainyu

I woke up grasping for air, my hair matted on my forehead, and panic seizing my heart. Nausea clawed at my gut, my whole body shivering in terror. A bitter ball of bile was stuck in my throat, and I felt like keeling over and curling around myself.

A dark laugh echoed in my head, ringing at the back of my mind so ominously that banging my head to the wall almost seemed like a pleasant thought. I felt like something in me just cracked, spilling out like a dam with that dream as the catalyst. I can still see my face. That face that was mine and yet it wasn't, twisted into an expression of malevolence. I tried to take comfort at the fact that whatever I saw, it was all just a dream… just a dream… but it wasn't, because the laugh still lingered in my ears.

"Get out of my head," I can't help but demand, clutching my head between my clammy hands.

Horror made my eyes widen when the laugh grew louder.

"Not a chance," the voice answered, a hint of amusement tinged at its edges. It was a husky baritone, as if it came from another side of a tunnel and echoed around the crevices of my bones. I snapped my head up instinctively, looking for the source of the voice only to realize it was all in my head. "I am a part of you now."

"Who are you?" I asked, spinning around my room with a ready stance. "Show yourself!"

The voice only laughed harder. "You are hilarious, my vessel," replied it, almost patronizing. "But very well, I shall introduce myself. My name is Angra Mainyu."

I felt the sweat on my forehead turn cold, the hairs at the back of my head prickle. I might not know who Angra Mainyu was, but I think I could guess that he was bad news.

The dream, he was in my dream. I couldn't remember much of it, but I recall seeing him in a dark world full of swords. He was standing atop a hill as ichor and miasma leaked from him and cursed everything.

Pain in my head made me stumble and fall on my knees. My skin glowed dark for a moment, miasma oozing from my pores and tribal tattoos swirling and coiling on my limbs but disappearing almost as quickly as they appeared.

"Who… who are you?" I asked again, my heart thumping a mile a minute. "What have you done to me?"

"I told you, didn't I?" the being in me replied. "And I haven't done anything to you. Yet, that is."

Sitting myself up on the cold floor and frowning, I asked, "Why are you in me?"

"I possessed you, duh," Angra snarked.

My mind blanked for a moment, the image of my darker self rolling his eyes at me at those words made me wince.

How? When? Why?

"I admit that I'm not regretting choosing you as a host yet. You have a very cozy soul. I hope you don't mind me redecorating, though, 'cause I already did," he said with a jaunty laugh.

I took a deep breath. Can I, can I make him go away?

"When was it that you occupied my body? Why are you revealing yourself to me now?"

"I've been in you like, since forever," Angra answered, the smirk in his voice apparent. He didn't answer my question; he's keeping something from me. My intuition screamed at me to demand it from him, and I scowled.

Fine, be that way; be mysterious all you want. I'll find out eventually, I thought.

"I doubt that," he said amusedly, as if reading my thoughts.

"Yes, I can read your thoughts. I'm in your head, idiot."

I sputtered in embarrassment. "You, you, get out of my head!"

"Nope. You'll just have to resign yourself to the fact that we share a body now. Think of me as a background spectator-slash-commentator. I'll even allow you to think of me as a friend! We can be best friends, yes? We will be the closest best friends ever!" He laughed merrily at his joke.

Honestly, it was really creepy.

I growled, gnashing my teeth in frustration.

"This is such a wonderful world you've found yourself in," he continued, still with the creepy jovial tune that didn't suit his dark voice, "Grimgar, wasn't it? Taking you here wasn't in my plans at all, but that meddling old vampire got involved and ruined everything. It doesn't matter, though. Ending up here was just as well. A world ripe with magical energy, still in the Age of Gods, and with plenty of pathetic little weaklings to curse. Oh, this is paradise!"

Blanching at his words, I curled my fingers on my hair and pulled. I didn't know what the heck he was talking about, but I seriously doubt his plans was for the good of the many. "Get out! Get out of my body!"

Angra scoffed. "Oh, please, you won't get rid of me that way," he said condescendingly. "You're only hurting yourself."

"I don't care. I'll kill myself if you don't get out," I threatened. Surprisingly, I found that I meant those words. Hopefully, he'll die too if I did so.

"Then I'll just find another host when you died," he replied.

So much for that plan…

Well, if my intuition was correct and he was indeed scheming something ominous, then it might be for the best that he stayed in me. That way, I could keep an eye on him, and maybe, stop him if ever worse comes to worst. Whoever this Angra Mainyu was, I won't let him succeed in his plans.

For some reason, I could feel him smirking at me. I narrowed my eyes. He definitely knew what I'm thinking about.

"What do you want from me?" I asked with a resigned sigh.

"Nothing especially harmful. I wouldn't want my vessel to get damaged, so you can rest easy on that front," he assured, but it didn't put me at ease one bit.

"Fine, whatever," I replied. "Just so you know, though. As soon as I find a way to get rid of you, I'm booting you out. So don't get too cozy."

He chuckled. "I'm not counting on it, but sure," he replied with a shrug. "If anything you should be grateful I'm in you. Can't you see that I'm an extra skill? I can be your demon, like with the Dread Knights in this world. I'll whisper to you when an enemy is close by—but only when I want to. And I can even crack some good jokes!"

I scoffed, standing up from my sitting position on the floor and dusting myself. What are you, anyway? I asked him in my head. It's better to talk to him with telepathy, lest people who saw talking to myself think I'm crazy.

"I'm a god," he replied, almost smug.

I walked outside my rented room in the Reserve Force Lodge and headed to the bathroom. I filled a basin with water and splashed my face to wash away the sleepiness still lingering.

Right, I thought sarcastically. God of what? I thought you're so weak that you even need a vessel just to exist.

"Hey, give me some respect," he said, indignant. "I'll let you know that I'm as strong as Eldritch, or Rigel, if only I can materialize with my full strength.

"Yeah, I met them. Rigel's a wild dog; all bark and no bite. We're cool with each other, though," he added amusedly. "And Eldritch is a bitch. A big fluffy white bitch. What'd I give to get her mane as a fur blanket…"

You're incorporeal, I pointed out.

"And so is she," he replied.

Touché.

As I finished washing up and doing my morning routine of exercises, I realized that I could ask Angra Mainyu about myself. Why I'm here was pretty much answered when he slipped. A meddling vampire got involved. A vampire. What was a vampire? I tilted my head as the word vanished from the forefront of my head.

"Don't sweat it," Angra said as I tried to scurry after the word. "Most of your consciousness is locked except the most basic of human instincts. It's got something to do about the atmosphere of the mana in this world."

I frowned. Then, do you know who I was? Can you tell me that?

Angra Mainyu snickered. "You? Well, sure, I can tell you you're a dimwitted fool with an impossible and hopelessly idiotic dream."

I felt offended. I mean seriously offended, as if he just pissed on my grave and then trampled on it while dancing buck naked.

Frowning, I crossed my arms on my chest on a petulant manner. "And is that so wrong?"

"Not wrong, per se, just pitifully pathetic. Such a shame you fools are a dying breed. I'm pretty sure you're the only one left back in your old world. Lucky me!"

Ugh.

Now that I'm back in the Reserve Force Lodge, cooking breakfast was once again shared with Moguzo. It didn't surprise me anymore that the big soft-hearted giant of a boy was already up and awake as I was just heading to the kitchen. He gave me a smile when he saw me enter the room.

"That big guy is seriously presumptuous. I vote you slit his throat and own this fucking kitchen. Come on, I know you want to," Angra whispered conspiratorially to me.

I paused mid stride. What the hell? I accused him.

"What? I'm just saying. I'll really enjoy it if you did though," he replied darkly.

You're repulsing.

He gave me a mental shrug.

Deigning to ignore his sinister jabs and nefarious suggestions, I went on cooking with Moguzo. I thought about my plans last night and looking around Damroww with Manato and his party today. I should ask them now and head to the Crimson Moon HQ later to check out the bounty posters. If I want to establish a reputation as a soloist Bounty Hunter, I might as well start now.

When the rest of the party mates joined us in the kitchen/dining room, the food was already well prepared and the group did not hesitate to dig in. They all gave both Moguzo and I their praises and thanks, well, except Ranta. I don't expect a 'thank you' from him anyway so it's all good.

"Like hell," Angra commented dryly. "Can you, just, I don't know, give him a good slap or something? Use the sharp end of a knife while you're at it."

Shut up, please.

"Manato," I called the leader of the party. He looked up from his meal and game a questioning look. "I was wondering. Is it okay if I tag along your quest in Damroww today?"

He smiled at me. "Of course. The more the merrier, right guys?"

The rest of his party mates nodded. Ranta narrowed his eyes at me.

"You better not slow me down though," he told me. "I ain't saving your sorry ass if you turned out to be incompetent as a fly."

"I'll flake his skin and shove it up his ass if I were you," the dark voice muttered. I sighed, fighting the urge to pinch the bridge of my nose.

"You have no right to talk like that, Ranta. A fly is more competent than you," Haruhiro piped up dryly.

Ranta glared at Haruhiro. "Then you're crap Haruhiro! You know what flies do to crap, we eat them!"

Manato, Yume, Haruhiro, Shihoru, and even Moguzo choked with their food. This time, I really did pinch the bridge of my nose and shook my head, trying hard to vanish the mental image. Ranta's party mates gave him a disgusted look. Angra Mainyu laughed so hard I felt like my ears were ringing.

"What?" Ranta asked obliviously.

"So, are you gonna join our raids?" Manato said, ignoring the russet-haired boy and perhaps struggling to regain his appetite. "It'll be great to have another scout. Maybe we can finally move deeper into Damroww."

"Actually, I wanted to go bounty hunting," I replied, scratching a cheek. "I'll check the bulletin if there's any posters set up located in Damroww."

"Oh," Manato replied.

"Bounty Huntin'?" Yume asked wide eyed. "Ain't that super dangerous? Shirou don't have a party, are you gonna do it alone?"

"Don't worry," I said reassuringly, "I'm not going to accept anything more than I can take. I'm just going to scout around and see if I can do it. If I can, then great; if I can't, then I'll just have to get stronger till I can finally do it."

Haruhiro raised an eyebrow at me. "What if you don't get a chance? What if you get killed?" he said. It wasn't a question, more like an introspection.

I figured Haruhiro was too cautious, even more cautious than Manato. He liked playing it safe—comfortably moving in a situation that he could calculate to their advantage. He had a good head on his shoulders; if only he wasn't too much of an introvert, he might actually turn out to be a great leader.

"I'm not going to get myself killed," I replied seriously. "Not yet."

"I'm not letting you die, either. Yeah, not yet, not while you're still useful," Angra Mainyu added in my head. Inwardly, I rolled my eyes at him.

"Okay, then," Manato said. "We'll meet you at the gate at eight o'clock sharp."

I nodded at him.

Standing in front of the Crimson Moon headquarters, I can't help but realize that the dilapidated illegible sign board above the door actually says that; Altana Frontier Army's Reserve Force, Crimson Moon. I don't blame my past self for missing it, though; some of the letters had fallen out and the rest were faded. Bri was such an irresponsible commander.

Stepping inside, I walked past the familiar clutter of unoccupied chairs and tables and heading straight to the counter. As usual, Bri was just lounging on his chair; his head hanging from one side-arm while his feet dangled on the other. If he thought that the uncomfortable posture made him look enticing, he was gravely mistaken. His long green hair was especially greasy, his six-packed mid-riff showing due to his scant choice of tight and bright clothes, while his Adam's apple was exposed and his black-painted lips were parted. It was a disturbing sight; all muscles, toned skin, and thick make-up draped saucily on the seat while he dreamt… something. I don't even want to guess what he's dreaming about; if the obvious tent in his tight pants was anything to go by, it was probably something traumatizing.

"What a bizarre creature. I think he's one you humans call 'faggot'. Faggot, indeed, in every sense of the word, and there's only one, but it suits him just fine," Angra commented amusedly.

Ung… What the heck am I supposed to do? It'll be rude to wake him up, I thought.

"I say you just choke him to death," the voice in my head said with a disgusted snort. "I bet you would do a world of good if you did. Yes, just kill him. Save the world from his taint. You want to be a hero, don't you?" the annoying self-proclaimed god taunted.

You're suggestions are getting darker and darker each time, I told him with a frown.

"I'm your inner consciousness. I'm just voicing the thoughts in your head that you don't want to acknowledge," he reasoned. "They're there, though, so don't deny it!"

I don't acknowledge them because they're not good. I admit that they're there but I'm not gonna do anything about them. And having them isn't wrong; it's a part of being human and flawed.

"Oh, goody-goody," Angra replied, rolling his eyes. "Stop being so morally uptight, will you? It's disgusting. This is the reason why I hate idealistic wannabe heroes. You're all so damned hard to twist and corrupt. The end result is always worth it, though."

I sniffed indignantly. What are you talking about?

"Nothing," he grumbled. "Look, sleeping beauty is awake."

I focused back on the world outside and met Bri's half-lidded blue eyes. I felt like vomiting at the look he gave me. A sultry smile spread on his lips, making a shiver ran up and down my spine, and it wasn't a pleasant one.

"Do you like what you see, kitty?" Bri asked me, his hand reaching and tucking a green lock on his ear seductively. I think he assumed I was staring at his sleeping form. The thought made me more nauseated and horrified.

Angra's laugh echoed in my soul.

"Uh, no, no," I denied immediately.

Bri pouted at me. God, I wanted to facepalm so bad.

"You wound me, my kitten. That's not very nice at all," he said, looking hurt.

"Uhm," I grumbled. "I didn't want to disturb your sleep."

The green-haired commander grinned at me. "How considerate of you," he drawled.

"Careful now, vessel," Angra warned, "Entertaining as it might turn out to be, I don't want my new container to be defiled by that thing."

Well, neither do I.

"Actually, I just came here to check the bounty posters," I told him.

Bri sat upright on his chair and looked at me critically, observing my stature and attire. "I see you've joined a guild, the Hunters Guild. Huh? I thought for sure you'll go for Warrior or Paladin."

I shifted from foot to foot uncomfortably. I was not wearing my Hunters gear and garb. How'd he know I joined the Hunters Guild?

"So you want to be a Bounty Hunter, huh?" he asked, retrieving a thick tome from behind the counter. The book was filled with parchments messily, as if it'd all been stuffed in there in a hurry. "I reckon your Guild Master must be Hotarou."

"Yeah," I answered. "You know Hotarou?"

Bri shrugged. "Who doesn't? That guy is a well-known lazy old coot, wasting his talents on booze and stupid things. He barely had any decent student in a while, I hope you're prepared enough to go on your own. Again, I'd be disappointed if you died so soon," he said with a charming smile.

"Right," I replied with a contrived smile of my own.

"Is there a specific race you want as a target? A place? Or an amount of the bounty?" he asked.

"My friends' party is heading to Damroww. It'll be great if a target is located there," I answered.

"Oh yes, the Goblin Slayers," Bri said with a derisive snort. I frowned in disapproval, but didn't say anything. "Here's one." He took a page from the book and showed it to me.

On the page was a drawn picture of a grinning goblin. Unlike the mudgoblins I've encountered on my first day in Grimgar, this one's skin was dark ash, and he also wore armor and was armed with real weapons. According to the specifics, this little guy wasn't that much of a threat on his own, but he has a small army of stooges and a very clever head on his shoulders. For that, he was dubbed in the paper as [The General].

[The General] had taken Damroww as his base of operations, building up his army by ambushing small raiding parties and confiscating their equipment. He would then distribute the weapons and armors to his minions and train them how to use it. There was a chain of command somewhere there; [The General] had little lieutenants running around with his every beck and call, and these lieutenants had a platoon of minions under them, too. They were still barely as skilled as a trainee, but they were focused more on quantity than quality. After all, goblins were hardy little beasts, and combine that with higher durability, a bit more skill, and the advantage of numbers, they could be a lot of trouble for a small raiding group, like say, Manato's party.

"Will, you look at that," Angra tittered in my head. "Those group of weaklings you associate with are lucky or what."

I blanched when I realized the danger Manato and his group had been putting themselves in by poking around in Damroww for so long. It was a relief that they hadn't encountered [The General] yet. I'd make sure they never had to.

"I'm taking it," I told Bri.

"Wonderful," the man said, clasping his hands. "The price on his head is fifty silvers, and all the loot you get is yours, too. Now listed here are the things you should bring back in case of successful elimination. You don't have to necessarily show me all of them, maybe just enough as proof. Hmm… there's only one requirement here—his necklace. As you can see in the illustration, it's a very expensive thing—wolf fangs, gold coins, and gemstones strung on it, so all you have to do is show it to me and you can keep it."

"Sounds promising," Angra said.

I'm not so sure, I thought.

"Wait, if this [The General] is so low on the food chain and could be targeted by a newbie like me, why hasn't anyone ever killed him before?"

"Good question," Bri praised. "Well, [The General] isn't really a specific person, as the name implies, it's a position. When one of them gets killed, another just rises up in the ranks and takes the vacancy. Do you know how many goblin settlements are there in the frontier? A lot. That means there are a lot of [The General] out there, each of them having an equal bounty on their heads, and this one is specifically in Damroww. Besides, army commanders like these goblins are commanders for a reason. They're clever tacticians, the slippery little worms. Goblins they might be, but they are hard to take down, so be careful."

"So, are you saying that even if I killed this guy, another one will just become another him, and kill trainees to equip his army?"

"Exactly," Bri answered. "Don't tell me you're feeling sorry for them," he added with a smirk.

"No, that's not it," I said. "I'm just concerned that there's no end to them. Even if I slayed their leader, another one would just replace him. I would have to kill that one again, but it'll just be an endless cycle. Is there any way to make them stop fighting?"

"You're so naïve, my kitten," said Bri, his eyes softening genuinely for a moment. "If you really want them to stop, then there's only one thing you can do. Genocide. Kill all of them, then no one will succeed in the ranks."

My eyes widened. The words getting stuck in my throat at such a thought.

Angra smirked. "You know, I like the sound of that. Let's be a hero and massacre all of them."

"You can't be serious," I said incredulously to Bri, and to Angra Mainyu.

"But I am," Bri replied seriously. "We're in a war, Shi-chan. This is war, a battle of survival against the other races. It's better them than us, and the rest of them thinks the same way. There's no other angle, no fancy shmancy ideals behind it; it's either kill or be killed. You have to accept that and move on. Compassion for your enemies will only lead to an early grave."

That was disquieting. It's not like I didn't already know it, but being told outright made it all the more true. Is it so wrong, to wish for a world where everyone can be happy?

Surprisingly, Angra Mainyu didn't have a single snarky remark to throw my way.

I drifted in the streets of Altana in a daze, walking around lost in thought. I was so prepared to kill this time, thinking that I'm finally gonna do something that actually mattered, but in the end, it was all just a stupid sham. What am I supposed to do now?

"What about starting by waving back at that moron calling to you for a while now. Or you can punch him. On the nuts, I'd prefer. Yeah, that'd work, too," Angra told me.

I looked around to see what he was talking about, only to be surprised when an armored arm slung itself on my shoulders.

"Hey, hey, hey! You're the new guy, right? Shicchi? The one I met in the tavern last night? You're with Manacchi last night, ammaright?"

The overly happy, and shockingly sober warrior from last night asked in a flurry of questions. We were about the same height, so his drooping posture put a strain on my stature. The heavy arm he'd put around me in a friendly gesture chapped at my shoulders, and I fought the urge to grimace.

"Yeah, that's me," I answered. "Kikkawa, right?"

"I knew I'm right! Ha ha ha! Anyway, since we're not properly acquainted last night, yeah, 'cause I'm so far gone with the booze I can't remember things right, I realize I'd come find you and introduce myself again! Brilliant, right? And I'm apologizing, too! I don't know why, but I'm apologizing anyway! Imagine my surprise when I saw you walking around! Yeah, I'm so lucky! So, is there anything I can help you with? What're you up to now? Do you already have a party? Oooh! I've heard you came alone! Did you join a veteran party like I did?"

"What the hell is wrong with this guy? His chirpy attitude is grating on my nerves," Angra rasped testily. "Can you wring his neck for me?"

I ignored him.

"No, no, I don't have a party," I replied to Kikkawa. "I'm planning on going solo."

"Oh no! That can't do! You'll die a lonely death!" Kikkawa exclaimed dramatically. "No! I won't let you! I just met you, too! I know! I have lots of connections so I can find someone to accompany you! Oooh! I remember someone available on a short notice! And she's a priest, too! She'll be perfect! Yeah, yeah!" he nodded to himself. "I bet you're going to the gate at eight, yeah? I'm gonna tell her right now! Wait for her, k?"

As the hyperactive warrior raced away in a hurry to contact his friend, I can't help but facepalm. He didn't even give me a chance to refuse, I thought, dumbfounded.

"If I saw that guy again, I'm gonna fucking curse him and drink his soul," Angra Mainyu muttered disdainfully.