A/N: Again, thank you so much for the patience on this story; I am so sorry about how long it took me to come back to this story. I especially appreciate the people who had a prayer circle on tumblr to make me come back haha, it worked! Also, thank you for all of the reviews, it really means so much to me to know how you feel and your ideas about this story. I feel rather vulnerable, putting my culture and quite honestly some of my personal life experiences into this story, so the wonderful reviews make me feel more comfortable sharing this chapter. I think I forgot to mention but I'm sure you've noticed, I've been having the mockingjay be her family clan which is why she has both a hair pin and received a gift in this chapter with it. That'll be important for understanding what happens in ch. 8 (already halfway written) so yeah, just keep it in mind.
Chapter 7: Memories Come Back to Life
Prim barely waited for the tires of the truck to come to a stop before she flew out of it, claiming she couldn't last a moment longer wearing a skirt.
I followed at a slower pace, climbing out of the bed of the truck. I turned to look up at Gale from the ground, and he reached out to flick the mockingjay pin in my hair.
"I'll come by later to grab you for Madge's party." He said.
I nodded, waving to him through the dust as the truck drove away. As I turned to go inside I touched the prickly leaves of the blackberry bush beside the house, noticing that it had an early crop of berries ready. Following my eyes, my mother rushed to get a basket filled so that she could make some wojapi.
For four years, I had pushed through school with the knowledge that all the work would pay off when I graduated. Now that I was here, with nothing but choices ahead of me, suddenly it didn't feel as triumphant as I had expected. The porch swing creaked under me as I curled up on it, pulling my knees to my chest. Resting my cheek against one knee, a sigh I didn't know I'd been holding slowly slid from my lungs, drifting in the warm air around me.
The swing faced out toward the valley, I could see Tashunke chasing a few rez dogs around happily in the streams of sunshine that broke past the trees. The leaves on my father's tree swayed gently, drawing my eyes to them. A whisper floated to my mind, telling me to come closer.
His tree was still small; a reminder that time is not in human's hands. Every single moment since my father's death had been deeply felt within me, every second that I grew older marked an inch of space between his soul and mine. If trees grew at the same rate as a heart broke, his tree would be as tall as a redwood by now. I reached out, rubbing a leaf with my thumb and taking in each line and vein in the surface. He was here; I could feel him swirl around me like a hug.
A small sob escaped my lips before my hand could stop it, and I curled up in the forget-me-nots that surrounded the thin trunk of the tree. Their fragrance joined my father in overwhelming me. No matter how many of the tiny flowers I gripped in my fingers, they all crumbled and broke apart like an old forgotten memory.
"I wish I could hear your voice one last time, I have so much that I need to learn still." I whispered, finding the soft earth beneath me.
My father had always bragged to anyone who would listen about how smart his little girl was, the pride that he held for me was the reason I had pushed myself this far. Not having him there in the crowd cheering me on had made real what I had not noticed after all of this time. His ghost never left this place, so I had never truly felt that he was not there to share in every part of my life. The absence of him at graduation somehow shook loose a part of my broken heart that I had grown so used to, its presence within me so familiar.
The breeze that came across my face was cool, gentle. The forest quietly looked on as I lay there on top of my father's grave, holding his little tree for strength. Birds seemed to slow their songs, changing from a lament to a lullaby. My lungs filled with air, and as I opened my eyes I noticed the light had changed. Everything had grown softer as the sun fell behind the mountains, casting long shadows across my skin.
A hand came and gently rubbed my cheekbone.
"You'll need to change." My mother said, eyeing up the dirt now covering her borrowed blue dress.
I nodded, unsure how long I had been lying below the tree. She looked at me with concern before returning to her usual stoic expression, her mouth puckered into a small heart shape. The moment of concern passed so quickly, if my skin didn't still hold the memory of her touch I wouldn't think it had happened.
After digging through my room to find something clean and not too terribly wrinkled to change into, I stopped and touched the photograph of my father hanging by the door frame. His smile was so big that his almond eyes looked like slivers, just a sparkle shining through his long eyelashes. Prim came bursting through from the living area, talking loudly on her phone to Rue, drawing me fully back into the present. I slipped quietly around the blanket that separated our room from the living area and slid my feet into a worn pair of flip flops.
"Before you go out celebrating, I made you something." My mother's voice rasped from the porch.
I peered curiously at the small bundle she placed gently into my arms. The smell of newly tanned moose hide filled my nose as I looked at the beautiful moccasins that she had made me. They were fully lined in soft rabbit fur that had been dyed a deep cranberry color, and a small beaded mockingjay lay across the toes of each one. I knew how much time they must have taken my mother to make, the quiet sign of affection done in a way she was comfortable showing me.
Our eyes locked, and after a moment of silence she nodded firmly at me before standing up and rushing inside. I rubbed my fingers over the soft fur one last time before tucking them gently on the pile of shoes by the front door.
I took my time walking along the well-worn path to Gale's house. He jumped down from the porch as he saw me approaching, all ready to go. As he opened the passenger side door for me, I saw a big box in the bed of the truck full of bottles. Gale wiggled his eyebrows at me when he saw me staring at the box before we headed off the rez.
The sun was falling behind the mountains in the distance as we approached Madge's house.
There were already several cars parked in the long circle driveway, and as we headed to the back of the house music floated out as a greeting.
Gale's long arm draped across my shoulders, pulling me against his chest, as we walked out to the back patio to join everyone. I scanned the crowd, and warmth filled my body as I found a pair of blue eyes resting on mine.