A/N: I managed to come up with the 1st half of this chapter while battling writer's block. Despite the block, I'm glad at how this chapter turned out. Plus the second part of this chapter has a very special guest.

Chapter 7: The Evil "Plot"/Preparations

*White Castle Basement*

Still infuriated over the burn, Aquamarine contacted several enemies of StevenxLapis and held a meeting in the basement of a White Castle since she was friends with the manager. Connie, The Former Minnesota Vikings, Jasper(no longer a furry wolf after her last defeat), The Ruby Gang, Yellow Pearl, Blue Pearl and Bismuth were talking amongst themselves as Aquamarine was getting prepped.

Aquamarine is escorted by Topaz, gestures everyone to stop talking she gives her introduction speech. "Gems and humans, though we are all different, we have 2 common enemies…."

"Losing your testicles along with losing your penis?" Jasper said all sad.

"…no…what…what does….that….. have to do with…..?" Aquamarine questioned.

(One Recount of Chapter 6 via Jasper's point of view)

"…AND MY SEX DRIVE IS COMPLETELY GONE! I'LL NEVER EXPERIENCE ANOTHER WET DREAM EVER AGAIN!" Jasper mourned as she cried into Bismuth's comforting arms, the other villains sobbing as well aside from Aquamarine. (who was more shocked than sad)

Aquamarine tried to regain attention. "Wow…I mean that's sad and all…really sad…..but the real two common enemies are…"

"My unsupportive parents who kicked me out for being a whore?" Connie asked, also sad.

Aquamarine was getting slightly agitated. "Look…I don't need to know about you and your relationship with your parents…."

(One Recount of Connie's story and other stuff not covered already)

"…AND BECAUSE OF THE PATH I CHOSE… SEX IS THE ONLY CAREER FOR ME! I MADE THE SAME MISTAKE AS BELLE KNOX AND LAURENCE FISHBURNE'S DAUGHTER MONTANA!" Connie cried into the shoulders of the Former Vikings, who were also sad and started groping her.

Aquamarine started getting pissed off. "Connie… I'm sorry about you not knowing what would happen to you by becoming a whore…. but the two, common, enemies are…."

"Adultery and Scandals?" The Minnesota Vikings said all teary-eyed.

Aquamarine wanted to break something. "…..Guys….….this ISN'T why I called the Meet…"

(Vikings recount the Connie Sex tape and the double sex cruise incident)

"….AND BECAUSE WE GAVE INTO CARNAL PLEASURES…..SO MANY LIFE-LONG FANS SENT US HATE LETTERS…..HATE LETTERS!" Fred Smoot, Bryant McKinnie and the other former Vikings started crying as well, Connie was kissing their crotches trying to make them all feel better.

Aquamarine was seething. "….Can….We….FOCUS….On…The…Two….."

"Being individually weak and lacking of a loyal fan-base?" The Ruby gang cried in unison.

Aquamarine wanted to go Postal. "I.…don't…. CARE…"

(Ruby Gang recounts their problems)

"NO ONE LOVES US!" They five of them fuse into a huge Ruby who lies on his belly, hitting and kicking the ground while crying like a baby.

Aquamarine popped a broken blood vessel in right her eye due to pent up rage. "AAAAAAAGHGH GUYS! THE TWO, GODDAMN, MOTHER-FUCKING, COMMON, ENEMIES ARE….!"

"The way Yellow Diamond and Blue Diamond treat us?" Yellow Pearl and Blue Pearl asked all sad.

Having far surpassed the level of rage her body was capable of handling, Aquamarine's right eye blew up causing the now little cyclops to fall on her back screaming at the top of her evil lungs. Topaz had to stuff rolls of tissue paper into her right eye-socket to stop the massive bleeding, and put an eyepatch over her right socket to cover the wound. As a result, she couldn't protest to the upcoming story.

(Yellow Pearl and Blue Pearl's recount later)

"…THEY ALWAYS ASK US WHAT CAN YOU DO FOR US BUT NEVER ASK WHAT CAN WE DO FOR YOU!"

The two Pearls cried into each other's shoulders.

Aquamarine is rolling in fetal position. "…this isn't happening...this ISN'Thappening…"

"Poofing Lapis and cracking her gem?" Bismuth cried.

(Gets up) "ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! I SET UP THIS GROUP SO AS TO PLOT AGAINST LAPIS AND STEVEN, BUT ALL I GET IS 6 FUCKING HOURS OF "SUPPORT TALK" AND WHEN SOMEONE FINALLY ADMITS TO HARMING ONE OF OUR TWO "COMMON ENEMIES" YOU SAY YOU REGRET IT! WELL BISMUTH, GOT ANYTHING ELSE TO ADD?!(brief pause)...wait…..NO….WAIT….."

(One final recount)

"I JUST WANNA GIVE LAPIS A HUUUUUUG!" Bismuth cried as the whole room aside from Aquamarine hugged her.

(Closes her remaining eye while pinching the spot between her eye sockets.) "Does anyone else, feel like leaving the group?" Aquamarine said while combatting a splitting headache.

With that, Bismuth, both Pearls and The Ruby Gang left the group. Having not accomplished a single, solitary thing all day, Aquamarine walked over to a wall, laid her forehead on the surface and stared at it.

"Say…. uh…. Aqua?..…Jasper, The Former Vikings and I all have some things to we need to do right now, but we still want to help you with your evil plan…..can we meet next week?" Connie asked, drying her eyes.

(Deep sigh) "Sure…whatever." Aquamarine said, not even bothering to turn around.

*Back to Steven and Lapis*

Despite Pearl's protests, the next few months were spent getting the wedding set up. Unable to find anything to use against Lapis, Pearl eventually caved in. Everything from location, food, suits/gowns, entertainment, finding a Priest as well as bridesmaids and groomsmen were top priority.

After a painfully long day of shopping for a wedding dress, Lapis and Steven were heading home from the mall. Things were nice and quiet, until they heard someone shout "STOP THE HATE: SAVE ANILINGUS!" through a megaphone, and the one wielding the Megaphone was Ruby.

Ruby and Sapphire are wearing pro-anal attire and are are driving a big float with two statues of themselves about to perform the gross act but built black censor bars where their mouths should be meeting their anus' that read "anti-anal bill".

"RUBY, SAPPHIRE, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!" Lapis and Steven both said at the same time.

"Haven't you guys heard? Dewey is Mayor again and signed a bill outlawing the beautiful act of Anilingus!" Ruby said while trying not to cry.

"But wait, I thought he lost to Nanefua Pizza during the season 5 election?" Lapis asked.

"True, and she vowed to protect Anilingus but after she won, President Trump was suspicious so he issued an investigation and as it turns out, Nanefua Pizza and her family used fake immigration papers to get into the United States. As a result, Trump had them all deported back to their home country Ghana, they're not even allowed to come back here! So with Dewey back in control, ANILINGUS IS GONE!" Sapphire explained as she cried into Ruby's arms.

"Whether it's work, play, sleep, and even binge-watching The Human Centipede Trilogy while eating each other's ass-chocolate every night, Anilingus is the center of our lives!" Ruby said while comforting Sapphire.

Upon hearing this, Lapis' eyes bulged as she put her hands over her mouth, ran into a park bathroom that was 12 ft. away, locked the door and violently upchucked into the toilet.

Steven wanted to kick Ruby and Sapphire's asses for making Lapis puke, but tried to remain civil. "Look guys (fighting the violent urge to beat their asses) as much as I don't like Dewey or Trump, this isn't such a good…"

"What do you mean? We have the right to protest!" Ruby replied.

"Yes, but you are fighting for an act that to be brutally honest, is one of the most reviled acts ever conceived and to do all of this in public, and especially where families gather is really counter-productive." Said Steven.

"Wait…I thought you were supportive of our favorite activity?" Sapphire asked all confused.

"Actually, Lapis and I hate it so much that we had trouble sleeping at night, didn't we Lapis?" Said Steven, to which Lapis nodded in agreement after heading back from the bathroom, she was staring daggers at the two little shits on the float.

(Through Megaphone) "ANAL-PHOBES, ANAL-PHOBES WE GOT OURSELVES SOME ANAL-PHOBES HERE!" Ruby yelled into Lapis' and Steven's faces, with zero regard of their eardrums.

Lapis wanted to drown the little anal fuckers but Steven stopped her, despite having similar urges.

"ANILINGUS WILL RETURN!" Ruby blared.

Just then several police officers were following two devastated parents and a traumatized boy who pointed at the two gems on the float and said "THEY'RE THEY ARE OFFICERS, THE ONES WHO PERFORMED THAT GROSS ACT IN FRONT OF ME WHILE I WAS PLAYING IN THE YARD!"

"OH NOES! FLOOR IT SAPPHIRE!" Ruby yelled.

Ruby and Sapphire's antics attracted half of the Beach City Police Department in a high-speed chase. Ruby started shooting fire bolts from her finger tips in hopes of scaring away the cops, all that did was allow for said cops to return fire, one of the shots hitting Ruby's left knee-cap.

"AAAAAHHHH FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!" Ruby screamed as she rolled on the float floor while holding on to her bloody knee.

(looks back at Ruby thus breaking the number one rule of driving: keep your eyes (or eye) on the road) "OH NO RUBY ARE YOU…"

*Children's Christian Hospital, 1ST floor*

Mayor Dewey is about to finish reading Noah's Ark from the Bible, to a room filled with terminally ill children aged 3-10 whose dying wish was to meet the mayor. Despite all the pain and suffering, the children were smiling as their dream was coming true. Dewey is at the part where Noah built an Alter for God.

Dewey reads. "The LORD smelled the pleasing aroma and said in his heart: "Never again will I curse the ground because of humans, even though every inclination of the human heart is evil from childhood. And never again will I destroy all living creatures, as I.."

Ruby and Sapphire's float smashes right through the wall and crashes into Mayor Dewey before the float finally stops. As the smoke cleared, Ruby and Sapphire saw that while none of the children were harmed, they started crying their eyes out. Right as Ruby and Sapphire were about to ask why, the two lovers froze as they found Mayor Dewey's exposed, bloody arm, still clenching the Bible, under their float.

*Town Hall Evening*

President Trump leaves Air-Force One and arrives at Beach City Town Hall to commemorate the town's former mayor. He is accompanied by Vice President Mike Pence.

"My fellow Americans, it is with a heavy heart I announce that today, we have lost a very special person to the evil that is Anilingus. As my long-time friend Mayor Bill Dewey was reading Noah's Ark to a room full of terminally ill children, two psychopaths, who had also exposed themselves to a young boy earlier, crashed their evil float through the room Bill was reading, and assassinated him. What was supposed to be a touching, final moment for these children, became one of anguish, horror and remorse, as their hero Mayor Dewey was murdered, right in front of them. That, was the children's final moment before they all past away, 10 minutes later from their illnesses. Bill Dewey was a hardworking single father whose wife of 10 years died from childbirth complications, leaving him to raise several children. The oldest Buck, a Navy SEAL who had returned from a dozen tours in Afghanistan, and wanted nothing more than to play baseball with his father, only to learn that he was killed. Bill was a man who never quit, after losing a rigged election to a woman called "Nanefua Pizza" who with her family, came to this country illegally, worked at a doughnut store. Had it not been for the investigation, Pizza and her family would have gotten away with it, and Dewey would never have been in office again. Bill Dewey also tried to remarry, but was rejected by numerous, unpatriotic individuals, one of whom, was a crystal gem named "Pearl." Despite this, Bill continued to work and successfully outlawed Anilignus. The two assassins were tried, found guilty, and sentenced to life at Guantanamo Bay. While denying that they had any ties to The Islamic State, they did however, admit that they wanted to spread their ideology to said terror group, in hopes of getting them to become "good guys." Anilingnus is a scourge that threatens our great country, family and friends. As your President, I will be meeting with several world leaders to put an end to the evil that is Anilingus. For his commitment to keeping Beach City's streets clean of the Anilingus threat, I award Bill Dewey with the Distinguished Medal of Honor. Thank you all, and God Bless Mayor Dewey."

*Barn*

Steven and Lapis watch the whole speech and face-palm at how stupid Sapphire and Ruby acted today.

Just then another news report came which showed that upon being sentenced, Ruby was able to fuse with Sapphire and become Garnet. But right before Garnet could do anything, she said "….Why do I taste shit?" Upon being briefed on what happened, Garnet not only freaked out but for some strange reason was able to expel both Ruby and Sapphire without vanishing herself. Traumatized, Garnet fell on her back and cried heavily. While Sapphire and Ruby were sent to Guantanamo, Garnet was pardoned and treated by Connie's Mom who was 9 months pregnant with her next child.

As the news report was ending, Garnet walked into the barn.

"GARNET ARE YOU OK!?" Steven and Lapis asked.

"Yeah I'm fine now." Garnet replied.

"But we don't understand….How did you recover from what you learned during the trial?!" Lapis asked all confused.

"Because I'm Garnet." Answered Garnet.

"Okay." Lapis said.

"Makes sense." Steven replied.

Pearl and Amethyst then came to the barn and hugged Garnet.

A/N: Originally these were going to be 2 separate chapters but I decided to combine them. As of now, I am more than halfway done with this fanfic but don't you guys worry, it's only going to get better and better!