Friday
Judgment Day
Nature Party Day
School Day
Loon Appreciation D- Shut up Brain, I have a handbag!

8am
Woke up with suspected bags akimbo. The kind under you eyes. Not the shopping kind. Though that is not as unlikely as it sounds in Casa Loon (finding shopping bags under your eyes). Which is what Vati, dearest, christened the house last night after he dropped a glass of cheap champagne. Casa Nicolson. Honesty. So naff. And also chavvy. Casa Crap is a more fitting name. I am hoping Vati was too drunk to remember. Rosie sleeps like a normal person surprisingly. Minus the Libby-like snoring. And beard. I wonder if Uncle Eddy is still asleep in the garden.

2 minutes later
Yes, yes. With his 'feminine side' still on display to the world. I suppose I will have to get up and make brekkie for me and Ro-Ro. She is used to that kind of thing. If I go sneaky sneaky quietly Libby and the Elderly Hungover Loons will not wake up.

3 minutes later
Urgh! Have just seen what I look like in the mirror. The bag situation is worse than I suspected. I am like Panda Woman.
But it won't scrub off. Must find concealer.

4 minutes later
That looks a bit better…

30 seconds later
Oh wait! Brekkie!!

2 minutes later
What in the name of Rosie's beard! Cereal! It's a sign! Of what I am not sure…

6 minutes later
Rosie has joined me. Wonder were she got her uniform from? I shall ask.
"Simple, your wardrobe."
Ah well sharing is caring. A man who thinks he is a purple dinosaur taught me that.

15 minutes later
Oh my God. The olds have broken the coffee table. I think Vati squashed it singing to Mutti last night.

1 minute later
Decided to wake the Bald-o-gram up before anyone saw him and reported him for indecent head exposure.
"Uncle Eddy, go home."
"Huh?"
"Home!"
"Georgia? Is that you?"
"NOW!"
"Um ok. Jesus Christ, headache."
He wondered off down the street. Clearly unaware of his feminine side.

Jas' house
Fringey is sitting on her wall with hunky, inspecting a paper bag. What larks.
"PO! HUNKY!"
Hahahahaha she got such a surprise she fell off the wall! Tom just stared at us.
"GEORGIA!"
"Yes, besty pal?"
"ARGH!!"
"Jassy I have news for you."
"I don't want to hear it."
"Fine then I'll tell TOM!"
"Fine!"
"Fine!"
"Tom there is fisticuffs after school."
Tom said, "Err… hi Rosie. And between who?"
Jas said, "FISTICUFFS? ROSIE?"
I said, "Yes Jas. Get up and come stare at Rosie. Between Dave and Masimo."
Jas screamed, "WHAT?? WHEN DID MASIMO GET BACK?? AND WHY ARE THEY FIGHTING?? AND WHY IS ROSIE HERE??"
I said, all calmy downy Jassy, "Jas, Rosie slept over-"
Jas screeched, "ON A SCHOOL NIGHT??"
Thank you captain obvious. You sound like grumpy pensioner.
I said, "YES! Anyway as I was saying me and Dave saw him at Luigi's yesterday and he called us a bunch of names so Dave and him are having it off outside Foxwoods today."
Tom said, "Did Dave call the fight?"
I said, "Yeah. Because Masimo wouldn't apologize to me."
Tom said, "He's always fighting. Too bloody cocky for his own good."
I said, "I know! Just yesterday he was fighting with Mark for pushing him in the bush."
Rosie said, "Dave won obviously."
I said, "Yeah, but he's got a black eye."
Jas, finally coming around from the wall with twigs in her hair looking like the twiggy twit she is, said, "Now he's going to fight? Again?"
"Yes."
"Oh my God!"

3 minutes later
What normal person brings badger poo to show his girlfriend? And what girlfriend is overjoyed by it? Honestly.

Assembly
Radio Jas has told all the Ace Gang of the fisticuffs at dawn fiasco. Which means all of Britain should know by break. Slim warbled on about the Great War she participated in (she was the elephantine distraction). I wonder what she is saying:
"Mr. Attwood… fire demonstration… Madame Slack… respect!"
Oh ok not the Great War. 'Respect'. O Buddah, are we never to be free?
The hymn today was 'Onwards Christian PANTS' another mystic sign. It was nice to have Rosie back, we did shoulder disco dancing to brighten the otherwise boring assembly up.

German
Oh my favorite German family, the beloved Kochs, they have provided many comedic opportunity to this otherwise pointless and dull language. Herr is particularly dithery today since Rosie is back and she has been looking at him in a threatening manner. He has agreed to let us discuss the Koch way of life amongst ourselves because Rosie asked and threatened to set Sven loose on the school again. Herr Kamer looked terrified and let us discuss the glorious Kochs. This all sounds so rudey dudey. But I love the Kochs anyway and Herr Kamer for being such a useless teacher.

1 minute later
Did I just say I love Herr Kamer?? ERLACK!! I think I have the beginning of the Cosmic Horn. Oh my giddy Gods pajamas!! I need to tell the Ace Gang, they must restrain the red bottomositsy from rearing it's ugly head.

2 minutes later
"I think I have the Cosmic Horn."
"O my God Georgia, you have only had the Specific Horn for a week!"
"I know Jas, that's why I have told everyone this, so they can keep me on the path of righteousness."
Rosie stoked her imaginary beard and said, "No, no. you are experiencing the withdrawals I warned you about."
"WHAT??"
Jas, the ever-helpful, said, "Oooh yes. I had them when me and H- Tom started going out."
"I saw Dave and Gee yesterday together, deffo withdrawal symptoms."
"Explain Ro-Ro."
"Well you see there are two types of withdrawal, the anger and the lovey kind."
We were all agog.
"The angry is experienced when you haven't seen you beloved in a while, you get very emotional and irritated because of your pent up snogging energy."
Miss Wilson's naff dress.
"The lovey kind is when you just saw your beloved and think life is great and seize the moment etc. It is similar to the Cosmic Horn except you don't want to snog the things you 'fancy'."
Herr Kamer. Erlack! Snogging image in my brain!!
"These withdrawals only happen when you are in complete luurve and they only happen when you are not around your beloved. When you are around your beloved you snog and are very happy."
That explained a lot. Like Jas' huff fights. O God I hope I wasn't going to become a Jas.
"So do boys get the same withdrawals?"
"I don't know."
Jas piped up, "Tom says gets in very bad moods when he doesn't see me for a while."
We were quite literally stunned into silence at Rosie's wisdom.

Break
Still having withdrawals. And I permanently got Dave's face on my brain. And his nib libbling technique. I am starting to get the angry withdrawal symptoms. We tried to do some disco dancing to relieve the energy but it only helped for a millisecond. Ellen is very nervous for tonight's party. Justin is meeting Ellen at the party. Dave is coming over today to help make the costumes. Which reminds me, I still have to steal the bloody fake fur. I think it is in the store room in Miss Wilson's classroom.

PE
Miss Stamp is making us practice first aid. This is disgusting. We have to feel the 'injured' person's botty to see if they are bleeding. And stare at their nungas to see if they are breathing. Miss Stamp's mustache is bristling with delight. Pity the fool that has to be paired with P Green, they will be botty checking for ages. ERLACK! Me and Jas are a partners. Which is a plus since she has no nungas.

10 minutes later
Why Lord Sandra? Why are we encouraged to perform lesbian acts? This will kill me.

RE
I told Miss Wilson that I had to go to the storeroom to get something for Hawkeye. Miss Wilson let me.

10 minutes later
I have hidden the fur down my top. It makes my nungas even larger but it is fine, I will put it in my bag when I get to class.

5 minutes later
Told Miss Wilson Hawkeye had already gotten what she needed and put the fur in my bag. Only half an hour till the big fight.

1 minute later
I should probably put my make-up on for when I see Dave.

15 minutes later
All done. Miss Wilson is still prattling on about world peace.

Outside Foxwoods
There is already a large crowd. They had formed a circle and in the middle stood Dave and his posse. I went a little jelliod when I saw Dave. He has a black eye and his tie was off. I suppose so Masimo couldn't strangle him. Sven was roaring like a lion when we saw him and Dave was leaning against the wall. Me and the Ace Gang pushed our way into the circle. Dave put his arm around me and gave me a peck on the cheek. The tensionosity. Even the crowd was quiet. Ish.
"KittyKat, did you get the fur?"
The crowd all went silent and stared at Dave.
"Yeah I did."
"Good good."
Then Rollo said, "Blimey, look at the size of the crowd. Do you think I could get them to do a decent Mexican wave?"
"Lets see… OY!! ALL YOU SPECTATORS, I WANT ALL YOU GROOVESTERS TO CROUCH DOWN!"
A few first formers did.
"ALL OF YOU, IF YOU WON'T LISTEN THEN BUGGER OFF!!"

7 minutes later
Amazingly Dave has managed to get all of the crowd to crouch down.
"GOOD!! NOW WHEN ROLLO HERE RUNS PAST, YOU JUMP UP AND THEN CROUCH BACK DOWN, OK?"

3 minutes later
Rollo has managed to get 7 rounds off the Mexican wave. Oh my Giddy God, I hear Masimo's scooter! The crowd all got up.

30 seconds later

Masimo arrived on his scooter not wearing a helmet and wearing a pair of sunglasses. He looked a bit like that Portuguese soccer player. Except really angry.
Dave said, "Oy! Masimo! Over here!"
And Masimo said, "You should be afraid!" and took off his glasses and his jacket, Wet Lindsey attached herself to him like the wet drip she is.
Dave smirked and said, "What you going to do? Hit me with your handbag?"
Then Masimo shrugged WL off and walked towards Dave, Dave gave me a peck and walked up to Masimo while saying, "Oooh! Careful, love, you wouldn't want to mess up your hair!"
And that's when Masimo hit him.

Half an hour later in the hospital
Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God.

Cliffy!! Don't worry I'll update soon. Pls review! I won't stop writing or anything, because that is sooo mean, but I would really appreciate the feedack. Soooo sorry about the Gee lingo. It's just so hard to write! It's just soo different from South-African slang, observe:

Gee:"really? how many pairs of knickers are you bringing?
SA: isit? how many brookies are you taking?

Gee: Crikey.
SA: yaslike, that's hectic.

Gee: God she's a prat of the first water.
S.A: KU!!

I could go on and on. But I won't. FYI ku (aka Kugal from Sandton) a really bitchy, snobby, stuck up, rich girl. Actually like Regina George in Mean Girls, she is like the definition of ku. or Paris Hilton, their role model. Not to be confused with a farmer brown -or just plain farmer- (a person who tries to be cool but fails). To be 'Farmer' would be wearing clear platform heels. Or getting a really bad dye job. Or tryin to be gangsta. Or playing crap music really loudly. That is a farmer. I could ramble on and on. But enough is enough.

Just thought I would warn you ahead of any slip ups. I love you all, my little petunias. please review!

Pip pip
Mel