A/N: I really hate seeing Rei depressed, unfortunately her story and mood is in sync with mine- I was feeling rather depressed these past few weeks but I'm feeling great now so it was time for her to get off her bum and show everyone she isn't going to brought down by something so trivial! ^.^
This chapter was inspired by Katy Perry's song- Fireworks and Avril Lavigne's old music~! Enjoy~!
I had a nice, steady stride going on as I walked along the footpath. I stopped short through and turned on my heel just before I stepped into Ouran Academy's grounds.
The beautiful crafted black iron gates had caught my eye. I stepped closer and brushed my hand across them, shivering at the touch of cold metal. A small smile touched my lips, these gates held so many memories, not just for me but all the students who had stepped through their gates and into their protective embrace.
This spot had been where I first sat impatiently waiting to see my sister, the first time I had met Hikaru and Kaoru.
There wasn't anyone around, I had decided to come to school extra early this morning. I couldn't say why but I'm glad I did. It was the first day back though, and even more than that- the first day as the new me. My smile grew as I took that first small step through the gates, I felt like a brand new person, a smooth shiny slate ready to build a life on.
This new school year was going to be full of surprises, but this time I was going to ready to face them face on.
The hallways were quiet, my footsteps echoing, bouncing off the walls. I stared at the double doors for a few minutes. They held so many secrets inside, so many stories and so many emotions.
"There really is more to the Host Club then it seems." I thought to myself and pulled down on the handle, quietly stepping inside.
As expected, the room was empty- perfect. A lot of time had passed and a few students were starting to filter into the Academy, I didn't want to be seen so I had to hurry. I passed the lounges and coffee tables, all still but for me I saw the translucent shimmering images of the Hosts going about their business.
Tamaki's carefree smile and all of their waving hands, gesturing me to join them faded in the hazy rays of light and once again I was standing alone in an empty room. I moved on to unlock the door of a starch white cupboard.
Inside a black case holding a beautiful lacquered acoustic guitar sat, awaiting the return of its master, for gentle hands to strum it's strings once more. I smiled at it, pulling the support strap over my head and strumming the strings softly. It felt so natural, standing there playing. Like I belonged there.
I centered myself, the apparitions of my friends taking their seats on the lounge in front of me, smiles all around as they waited for me to start.
"What are you going to play for us today Rei-Rei?" The twins said in unison, grinning at me like a pair of excited children.
"Stupid doppelgangers! I was going to ask our angel that!" Tamaki retorted and reached over to smack them on the head. The twins slid out of his reach, squeezing up to Haruhi and laughing at the yelling Tamaki.
Honey giggled at them and gave me a cute smile.
"Play whatever you like Rei-chan~!"
Mori nodded in agreement and Kyoya looked up from his book, his eyes unusually gentle.
"Let it out…" He said quietly and put his book down to focus his attention on me.
I nodded to myself and smiled, putting my fingers in place. I was going to let it all out, all the uncertainty I had been feeling, let it flood out like a raging storm. The words would spill from my heart.
"You held my hand and walked me home, I know. When you gave me that kiss it was something like this it made me go ooh oh.
You wiped my tears, got rid of all my fears, why did you have to go?
Guess it wasn't enough to take up some of my love. Guys are so hard to trust.
Did I not tell you that I'm not like that girl? The one who gives it all away."
I sang softly at first, building up volume as all my emotions raged. I couldn't tell out exactly what I singing about, or for. Kyoya had something to do with it, that much was obvious but the rest was just a blur. It's hard to explain everything I felt, but putting them into words seemed to work.
"Did you think that I was going to give it up to you, this time? Did you think that it was something I was going to do and cry?
Don't try to tell me what to do, don't try to tell me what to say, you're better off that way."
My fingers slid across the strings, my heart feeling even lighter with each note. This was me letting everything that had crushed me, restrained me, over this past half a year. This was necessary if I was going to begin to improve my life, if I was going to start anew and become stronger.
"This guilt trip that you put me on won't, mess me up I've done no wrong. Any thoughts of you and me have gone away.
Better off that way, I'm better off alone anyway."
I stopped, my arm falling to my side, my head dropped with my eyes trained on the tiles. I took a deep breath and a tear slid down my cheek. It hurt trying to let everything painful and private out that you had kept to yourself but I felt better, much better than I had felt in months. I felt free, like a leaf dancing high above people's heads in the sky.
I heard the soft shutting of a door and my head snapped up. The Host Club apparitions disappeared like shimmering dust in the air and behind where they had been a sheepish Tamaki was standing just in front of the door. He flushed red and scratched his head nervously.
"Oh, I'm sorry, I ugh was just going to prepare things for the club, I um really didn't mean to interrupt. Really."
He rambled on and didn't meet my eyes. I couldn't help but smile, either way he was always Tamaki no matter what.
"It's alright." I told him and carefully placed my guitar back in its case, locking it back in the cupboard.
He walked up to join me, slowly. But he didn't speak. An awkward silence hung lazily in the air. I realized why pretty early on though. We hadn't properly spoken since our trip to Karuizawa, he and the other were aware that Kyoya and I had broken up but didn't know any of the details and had been warned by Haruhi not to pester me about it.
As we exited the room, I glanced out the window and saw many students loitering about the courtyard; it must be close to bell time. We walked side by side silently and awkwardly. I took a small breath, breaking the silence.
"Hey, um about last time we saw each other, I'm really sorry for not explaining anything." I apologized and peeked up to see a soft smile on his kind face as he shook his head.
"You don't have to apologize, you were going through a hard time and wanted to be alone. I may have been worried but I'm smart enough not to pry where I'm not wanted."
He was too good to me, despite the fact that I had definitely left him distraught with worry, almost as much as my sister. He was like a brother to me and Kyoya was his best friend. It couldn't have been easy for him to sit quietly while we both were in pain. But he did anyway because he was that kind of person.
"By the way." He added with a mischievous grin. "That was a magnificent performance."
I rolled me eyes and gave him a playful punch he laughed and tousled my hair, giving me a half hug as we walked.
Some people would think if they saw us that we had feelings for each other but it was different, he was a relaxing and gentle influence on me. Like Rou, he always knew how to make me smile and because of the fact that I had no romantic feelings for him, I could talk to him about anything. He was the desirable big brother, someone who is always prepared to come running if you say so and always stick up for you.
"The perfect person for Haruhi." I thought unconsciously and blinked with surprise. Now that I thought about it… they did get along well.
I smirked and coughed slightly.
"Hey Tamaki?" I asked and he looked down, I could see my classroom at the very end of the hall.
"What kind of feelings do you have for my sister?"
He flushed red at this and couldn't seem to form words, stuttering in shock at the sudden confronting nature of my question.
"W-what? Feelings for Haruhi? But she's my lovely daughter!" He insisted and my smirk grew as I watched his anxiety and I laughed.
"Never mind, I was just joking." I told him and he took a breath, calming down.
"I wonder when he'll realize it for himself…" Then pushed the thought to the side. It didn't matter right now anyway, I couldn't be sure if Haruhi felt anything for him, at least not yet.
The bell rug, as shrill as ever and I waved goodbye to Tamaki, entering my classroom and happily taking my usual seat. Slowly people started to enter the question and I smiled at the people who greeted me. Haruhi peeked in from the hallway and when she spotted me, darted forward to take her seat behind me. She looked usually nervous.
"What's up with you?" I asked her and she frowned.
"The Twin's wouldn't let me go, they waited behind the gates and ambushed me with hugs when I got here!" She exclaimed and I giggled.
"Also, why did you leave so early this morning? I had only just gotten up when you left." She raised an eyebrow at me and organized the books in her satchel.
I shrugged; I didn't really want to explain this morning's events in the clubroom. She dropped the subject as the two redheaded devils themselves sauntered into the classroom, their faces lighting up when they spotted us.
"Rei-Rei~!" They sang and skipped over to clamp themselves each to my arms.
Then they both looked up and stared coldly at Haruhi.
"I believe now we can demand answers." Hikaru said to her and turned his face, now outraged to me. I stared, confused and slightly frightened at the same time.
"What on earth happened in Karuizawa?" He ordered loudly and almost everyone turned to look at us.
I flinched; I should have been expecting this from them.
"Ah well… about that." I stumbled over my words and gazed up at the ceiling like it was the most fascinating thing I had ever seen.
"Not much actually, totally nothing! Not can we drop this, everyone is staring!" I hissed and pleaded at him with my eyes.
He sighed but released my arm grudgingly as did Kaoru.
"You will explain later." He told me then they both took their seats unenthusiastically.
I buried my face behind my hair as our names were being called out. So much for a great start to the semester.
"And Rou is going to absolutely blow up when I see him…" I whimpered mentally and groaned. Today wasn't a lucky day, but I had been asking for it.
Oh well, I could get through this. It was just another small obstacle.