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Dean watched Sam like a hawk, never daring to take his eyes off of him. He gripped Sam's hand. Finally Sam had fallen asleep out of exhaustion of his tears. Dean hardly ever had seen his brother break down like that, the last time was when Sammy had to shoot Madison, so it unnerved him greatly.

"You sure you're not hungry?" Bobby poked his head in the door, keeping his voice low for Sam's benefit.

Dean shook his head.

"No, I'm good," he said calmly.

Bobby paused, uncertain of how to continue.

"You know Dean, it wasn't just Sam that was captured and tormented," he finally said. Dean eyed him warily.

"What do you mean?"

"What I mean is you had to watch your brother be tortured! Surely you can't come out of something like that...unharmed."

Dean sighed.

"I'm fine, Bobby, really I am. It's Sam you need to worry about."

"No, it's both of you," Bobby argued. "I've worried about Sam since I rescued you two. Now it's your turn."

He sat on the nearby chair. Dean frowned.

"What? Do you want me to compose some goddamned poem about what I'm feeling right now, is that it Bobby?"

Bobby shrugged.

"If it'll help."

Dean shook his head.

"That's impossible," he whispered. "There's no words to express what I'm feeling. What I felt when that monster mutiliated Sammy like that...in front of me." He bit his lip. "There aren't words," he repeated. "So that's why I can't talk about it. I can't even describe it to myself, much less someone else."

Bobby remained silent as he shook his head.

"I'm sorry you had to go through that," he mumbled.

"Yeah, you and me both," Dean snorted. Sam moaned, causing them to look at him sharply; but all he did was change position. Dean sighed in relief.

He shook his head.

"It was..."Quickly he faultered and the setence was cut off by his hesitation. Bobby looked at him sharply.

"It was what?"

"My responsibility," Dean whispered, holding the beer and staring at Sam in the face. "To protect Sammy. And I couldn't. At the end I couldn't save him. You did, Bobby. If you hadn't come and saved us I..." He shuddered and collected himself. "I would have had to watch them cut up my brother. And there was nothing I can do."

He looked at Bobby.

"How can you talk about something like that?" He wasn't being smart. He truly wanted to know. Bobby shook his head.

"Guess you can't," he mumbled, apologitic. He stood up. "I guess I should leave you alone with your brother," he finally sighed and Dean nodded miserably. Before he left though Bobby placed his hand on Dean's shoulder. "It wasn't your fault son," he said sternly. Dean said nothing so he repeated himself. "It wasn't your fault."

Dean still said nothing and so, while heaving a sigh, Bobby left him alone. That was when the tears came. And quietly Bobby listened to Dean cry over the other end of the door. He wanted to go in there and comfort the boy but knew as soon as he entered Dean would put the tough guy mask on him that he always had. He wouldn't let Bobby see him cry. So finally Bobby left the house, leaving Dean alone with his brother.

Suddenly as the tears rolled down Dean's cheeks he sat up as he saw Sam jolt a bit, as if shaken. And than, before Dean was able to do anything, Sam convulsed into a siezure. Dean stood up.

"Sam? Sammy!" Quickly he rushed towards his little brother, panic in his voice. "Sammy?! Bobby! We need help in here! Somebody? Anybody?!"

He grabbed Sam's shouldesr as the seizure continued, praying for it to stop. Than he did something he never did before. He prayed. He prayed that he wouldn't have had Sam save, just so he could die in his arms, yet again. He prayed for Sam to live...

Short but because it's a long weekened I'll probably put in another chapter, and this time it was filled with some Dean angst :)