Chapter 7

Episode 2.1: We Don't Need Another Hero

Jane slumped on the couch, eating a bowl of cereal and staring at the TV but not really focusing. Maura was upstairs getting ready for BPD's annual Salute to Heroes, but the more she thought about it, the more Jane was sure she did not want to go. This was going to be a nightmare.

It had been three months now since the day Jane shot herself. She was almost recovered and was hoping to return to work soon, though her energy wasn't back yet, and she was still having some pain, especially when she moved in certain ways. Maura was worried about it and kept asking her horrible questions like whether she had had a bowel movement yet today. She had bugged the crap out of Dr. Slucky at Jane's last appointment, and they had butted heads so severely that Jane was forced to realize how ridiculous her nightmare about Maura dating Slucky was.

Maura had long since gone back to work full time, leaving Jane alone in a giant house all day, well alone with a dog and two tortoises. Maura insisted that stimulating Jane's mind would help her to heal faster, so she designed a program to keep Jane's mind busy while she rested, including a timetable for reading the entire works of Shakespeare and a computer program that was supposed to teach her Finnish. Jane couldn't figure out why Maura wanted her to learn Finnish, and she hadn't touched a volume of Shakespeare since high school, so she mostly just watched TV all day. Sometimes she ordered stuff from the Home Shopping Network, which Maura complained about, as if she didn't do plenty of her own stress shopping.

The thing really irking Jane, the thing that made her realize she couldn't accept that medal, was that she wasn't looking forward to going back to work. She was scared. She hated to admit that, because she had fought like hell to get back as soon as possible after Hoyt's attack. That was different, though. Hoyt was alive, in prison, and still obsessed with Jane. If she left her dream job because of him, he would find out about it, and he would be thrilled to know he had altered the entire trajectory of her life. She couldn't let that happen. This time…she still wanted to be a cop, she was pretty sure she did, but she couldn't shake the sense that she couldn't trust anyone anymore, that she and the people she loved were going to keep getting hurt. She didn't want to admit to anyone that she was feeling this way, least of all to Maura, who saw Jane as her personal superhero.

"Jane, get up here and put your uniform on, we're going to be late!" Maura called from upstairs. Jane turned up the TV and pretended not to hear her. Finally Maura came down, looking stunning in a black dress and holding Jane's uniform. "You look awful," she said.

"Thanks, I love you too," said Jane.

"Here, put this on. You're making everyone late."

"I'm not going," Jane grumbled, continuing to eat her cereal. "I don't want a medal for shooting myself. It's not heroic. Eight people still died."

"Five of them were bad guys. Now we can do this the easy way or the hard way." Maura set down the uniform and sat on the couch, pulling Jane's feet into her lap and massaging them. "You know, this ceremony isn't for you. It's for your parents, and the community. You are a heroic flesh and blood reminder of the thin blue line."

"Yeah, that's good," smiled Jane. "You almost had me."

"Fine." Maura pushed Jane's feet off her lap, patting them gently. You had to hand it to her: she was always gentle, even when bossing people around. She stood up, a determined look on her face. "The hard way," she said.

Jane looked up in amusement. She had to admit, she was kind of curious to see how this would go. Maura walked up to her purposefully and pulled the bowl of cereal out of her hands.

"Hey, I wasn't done with that!" Jane complained.

"There will be food at the ceremony." Maura unzipped Jane's hoodie and yanked it down her arms.

"Hey, ow, stop!"

"No. Your parents are coming to watch you get a medal. You're going to be there." Maura took the uniform top off the hanger and began unceremoniously stuffing Jane into it.

"Ow, Maura!"

"You're going to look wonderful." Maura buttoned up the shirt. "There, you look sexier already." She yanked Jane's pants off.

"Maura, stop! I can dress myself!"

"I know you can, but you've proven yourself unwilling!" She began pulling the uniform pants up Jane's legs.

"Here, I've got it!" Jane stood, fixing her pants and belt. "There, are you happy?"

"Not quite, we still have to do your hair." Maura took her hand and led her to the stairs.

"Do we have to take the stairs? We have an elevator," Jane whined.

"You need to start building up your strength." Maura led her up the stairs to the master bedroom – their bedroom – and began dragging a comb through her hair.

"Okay, now you're really hurting me!"

"It wouldn't hurt so much if you would just hold still! You haven't been very diligent about combing your hair lately."

"Well, I haven't been doing anything but sitting around the house."

"And when you take that attitude, it only makes your hair harder to comb when you do have to. It's gotten longer…I think it'll look really pretty when you fix it right." She pushed Jane down onto her vanity seat and began working to get her hair into a bun.

"Is this what the rest of my life is going to be like?" asked Jane, looking at herself in the mirror.

"Only if you continue to be this stubborn about things that matter." Maura went into the enormous walk-in closet and studied Jane's designated corner. "These shoes will probably be best, although they could do with a shine." She came back out and dropped the shoes at Jane's feet. "Put them on, or do you need me to do that too?"

"I can manage." Jane put on the shoes. "There, I'm ready."

"Could you let me put just a little makeup on you? You're a little jaundiced, and you're going to be speaking in front of people."

Jane heaved a sigh. "Fine."

When Maura was finished making her up, she stood back and smiled proudly. "You look so gorgeous, Jane. Unbelievably sexy."

"Well I'm glad you think so." Jane took a better look at Maura, who really hadn't had a reason to get dressed up in the past three months. "You look beautiful," she told her softly.

Maura beamed. "Maybe when we get back home, we can spend some quality time together. And by 'quality' time, I mean 'sex time.'"

"Yeah, I figured that out. You're right, we should."

"We haven't been doing it enough lately," Maura pointed out.

"I know. I'm just sore and don't feel like myself."

"Sex might actually help with the pain. It's good for you, physically and emotionally."

"Yeah, I'll give it a whirl."

"I'll make it worth your time. Now come on, we need to go!"

The ceremony wasn't so bad, although Jane had to get her medal right after a soldier named Abby Sherman who was just a bit more heroic than her. Still, when she took the podium, Maura beamed at her like she was the biggest hero she had ever seen, and that was what mattered the most.

What was odd, though, was that her father wasn't there. He had said he was coming. Their relationship had been uneasy ever since her coming out, but he had tried to be nice during her recovery. He still wouldn't have Maura in his house, though, and their last conversation had been an argument about Thanksgiving. He didn't want Maura to come, and Jane wouldn't come without her, and Angela didn't think they could have Thanksgiving without Jane, and they had never come to an agreement. All Jane knew was that she wasn't leaving her girlfriend alone on a holiday, and she wasn't taking her someplace where she would be uncomfortable either. The two of them could just pick up a catered meal and eat at home. She wondered if that argument had put her father off.

When the medals were done being awarded, Jane went to ask her mom what was going on, and ran into someone she hadn't seen since high school: Casey Jones, whom she had briefly dated her senior year.

"Jane," he said in his half-British, half-American accent.

"Casey," she said, hesitating before giving him an awkward hug. "What are you doing here?"

"You never come to the reunions. I wanted to see how you turned out."

"You came all the way from Afghanistan to see how I turned out?" Jane willed herself not to make a face. Was he still carrying a torch for her after all these years?

"They invited everyone on leave."

Jane looked for Maura and began beckoning to her. "Well, this is how I turned out. I'm a detective, and here's my girlfriend." Maura arrived, sipping champagne, and Jane slipped an arm around her. "This is Dr. Maura Isles, chief medical examiner of Massachusetts. We're living together in Beacon Hill now. Maura, this is Casey Jones. We dated in high school."

Maura sized him up, but did not offer her hand. "Jane hasn't mentioned you," she remarked.

"We didn't date for long," he said with an amused smile. He looked back at Jane. "So, she's your roommate?"

Was he being intentionally obtuse? "No, she's my girlfriend, as in, sleeping together. Excuse me, I need to speak to my mother." Grabbing Maura's hand, she pushed her way through the crowd to where her mother sat and asked why her father hadn't come. To her surprise, Angela began crying inconsolably and couldn't speak. She had Maura fetch a pen, and the elder Rizzoli woman wrote on a napkin, We're getting a divorce.

A divorce? How was that possible? They'd been married over 35 years. Sure they fought, but it had never crossed her mind they might get divorced.

"I don't understand," Jane said as Maura used her spit to clean her tie. "I knew they'd been fighting, but I didn't think it was that bad. I mean, two of their kids were shot, and their other kid is in jail; of course they've been stressed."

"I'm so sorry, Jane," said Maura sympathetically.

"You don't think it's because of me, do you?" Jane asked. "They really didn't agree on my coming out. Maybe they split over that."

"Oh, Jane, I hope not. But even if they did, I hope you know it's not your fault."

"Well, I'm not giving you up to keep them together," Jane agreed, lightly squeezing Maura's arm. "I just wish I could have both. I thought my dad would come around."

They stayed for only a little while after that. Jane seized the chance to talk to Abby Sherman, who in her opinion was the real hero of the night, although a lot of people seemed eager to meet the cat that had gotten a medal for waking up its humans to alert them to their little boy's diabetic seizure. But then Casey reappeared, as he knew Abby from having served with her in Afghanistan, and he seemed keen to get details about Jane and Maura's relationship once Abby had moved on.

"How long have you two been together?" he asked with a frown.

"Nine months!" Maura said proudly, snuggling closer to Jane.

"Jane, I know we haven't seen each other since high school, but…" Casey shook his head. "Is this why you don't come to the reunions?"

"You have reunions?" Maura asked, looking at Jane with interest.

"Yeah, our school's weird, it has annual get-togethers," Jane told her. "And no, it's not why I don't come to reunions. I just don't like reunions."

"I'd love to go to one of your reunions," Maura said.

"Would you now?" Jane said, giving her girlfriend an exasperated look.

"I just thought you must not be Catholic anymore," said Casey.

"Why would you think that?"

Casey cleared his throat. "Never mind. You never were a girly girl, but I just didn't think of it like that."

"Excuse me?"

Maura looked at Casey thoughtfully. "I get the impression you're not happy for Jane."

"I get that impression too," said Jane through gritted teeth.

"No, I am, I'm happy for you," Casey assured them, unconvincingly. "I'm just...surprised. But it explains a lot, really. All the boys thought you were scary."

"You know what?" said Jane. "There's a cat over there who saved a kid's life, I'm just gonna go shake its paw. Come on, Maura." She grabbed Maura's hand and pulled her through the crowd. "Where did you hang your coat?" She asked when they were well away from Casey.

"I thought we were going to see the cat!"

"We're not going to see the cat, I just wanted to get away from Casey! I'm ready to go home."

"Oh!" Maura looked delighted. "I can't wait to be alone with you in that uniform."

"Maura! I just found out my parents are getting divorced, and you're still trying to get me in bed?"

"Well we're not the ones getting a divorce." Jane gave her a look, and Maura turned red. "Sorry. It's just, you could really use an immune system boost right now, and sex is very good for that." She put her hand on Jane's arm, gazing up at her seductively. The woman really couldn't help herself.

"Fine," sighed Jane. "Apparently you could use a boost too. Get your coat."

Shivering in anticipation, Maura hurried to the coat rack and pulled on her trench coat. The two women went out into the chilly night, bidding goodbye to Abby Sherman, who was also leaving.

Unfortunately, their sexy plans were not meant to be. Just as they were getting into Maura's car, Abby's car exploded, instantly killing her. Maura, afraid Jane would receive further injury, pulled her out of the car and far away from the blast, arms wrapped around her protectively until Cavanaugh came along insisting that he needed Maura and ordering Frankie to take Jane home. That was when Jane knew: as much as it frightened her, as hard as it was to imagine getting back in the game, she had to return to her job. There were always going to be victims like Abby she would want to help, and knowing Maura was on the job without her just drove it all home.

"Do you think our parents are getting divorced over me?" Jane asked Frankie after he insisted on walking her into her house. "They fought a lot over me being with Maura. Ma thought Dad was stuck in the Dark Ages, and he thought she was encouraging me to be deviant."

"Nah, I think it was coming for a while. They've been fighting over everything. And anyway, what could you do about it if it did have to do with you? If you love Maura, then you should be with her."

"Oh, I will be. No one's going to change that."

Frankie looked at her. "You think you're gonna marry her?"

Jane nodded. "Yeah. I think so."

"I'm happy for you. It's time one of us settled down with someone. At least that's what Ma says."

"I'm happy for me too. She's an amazing woman. Now get back to work. They need you, and I don't."

"Jane…"

"Go! You don't need to put me to bed. I'm gonna wait up for Maura."

~R&I~

When Maura finally got home, she was still interested in sex, but between the pain in her abdomen, the news of her parents' divorce, and seeing a really nice woman blown up, Jane was not in the mood. All she wanted was to hold her girlfriend tight and feel thankful that neither of them were injured in the explosion.

When Maura's alarm went off the following morning, Jane jumped right up and started getting dressed.

"What are you doing?" Maura asked her. "You're not cleared to work yet."

"I'm ready to go back. I want to help solve Abby's murder."

"You can't come back until your surgeon clears you."

"So call him and tell him to clear me!"

"He's not going to clear you just because I said so. Go and see him if you think you're ready."

"Just take me to your office. I haven't even seen it since you had all that remodeling done. I'll watch the autopsy."

"I do want you to see my new office," Maura admitted. "The decorator just finished. But I'm afraid you'll sneak upstairs and try to work."

"If you don't take me with you, I'll just go by myself."

Maura sighed. "Fine, you can come with me, as my visitor. That means you have to stay with me."

"Fine. I think you just want to stare at my hotness all day."

"I do, but that's not the reason why. I don't want you to hurt yourself."

So Jane trailed her girlfriend to work. It was her first time at BPD since the shooting, and she was surprised by how much tighter security was. Even though everyone knew who she was, Jane still had to get a visitor's badge before she could go downstairs with Maura.

The morgue did look really different now. It was less morgue-like and more…Maura-like. It was bright and cheery, and she'd clearly chosen the color palette from that Soothing Paint Colors for the Home book she'd used when decorating their house.

The morgue wasn't the only thing that was different. Jane hadn't seen a dead body in months, and suddenly she felt anxious about it, especially the badly burned corpse of someone she had enjoyed talking to the night before. She found herself nervously fidgeting with her hair while they waited for the body to be delivered.

"That's a sign of sexual frustration," Maura noted. "I could help you with that, if you would let me."

"Or maybe my hair's just tangled!" Jane pulled her fingers out of her hair before Maura could start lecturing her about that too. "Look, you can un-frustrate me when we're done solving the case."

"We are not solving anything because you are not cleared to work yet," Maura pointed out. Jane rolled her eyes.

~R&I~

They didn't solve the case that day, but Jane let Maura relieve her sexual frustration that night anyway.

"Your color looks better this morning," Maura observed as they were lying in bed, still naked. "How is your pain?" Her hand slid down Jane's abs, onto her scars.

Jane took a deep breath and then winced in pain. "It's still there. I guess sex with you doesn't quite cure everything."

"Well it certainly hasn't hurt. You look better. Happier, too." Maura kissed her, hands roaming over Jane's skin.

"I guess I did need this." Jane pulled the blonde closer, enjoying the shape of her body in her arms.

And then they heard the front door open and close downstairs, followed by the sound of Angela Rizzoli's voice.

"Uh, what is my mom doing here?" Jane asked.

"I don't know," said Maura. "But that reminds me. I talked to her yesterday."

"Did you tell her she was welcome to come in the house whenever she feels like it?"

"No, but—" Maura stopped talking when she realized Angela was coming upstairs. "She's not coming in here, is she?"

Jane hastily grabbed the blanket and pulled it up over them both just as her mother barged into the room, ranting about Frank.

"Ma!" Jane yelled. "For once in your life, could you consider knocking?"

Angela stared open-mouthed at the two obviously naked women. "I didn't think about you two being…in a compromising position," she said.

"Why not? We're adults who live together, in a romantic relationship."

"I know, but you're both women, and…" Angela's shoulders slumped. "I guess I'm no better than your father. I've been picturing you two like best friends at a slumber party."

Jane sighed. "Well could you go back downstairs so we can get dressed?"

"Yeah, sure. Sorry, Dr. Isles."

"It's quite all right, Mrs. Rizzoli," said Maura with her usual sweet smile.

"It is not all right," Jane muttered, climbing out of bed and grabbing a robe from the closet. It turned out to be one of Maura's fancy silk robes and it barely covered her, but it would do for now.

She went downstairs and found her mother in the kitchen. "I just love this gourmet kitchen," she remarked. "It looks like what the celebrity chefs use on TV."

"Yeah, Maura loves fancy cooking." Jane sat down at the counter, then jumped back up when she felt the coolness of the barstool under her bare buttocks. This robe was not designed for a tall person.

"I know you two are adults in a relationship, but would it kill you to make things official? I know you can't have a Catholic wedding, but you can still get married, you're practically married as it is."

"Ma, it's none of your business. Besides, Maura believes couples should date for at least a year before planning a wedding. There's some study or something."

"Believe me, it doesn't guarantee happiness," said Angela.

"I'm sorry, Ma. Frankie told me you have to sell your house."

"The house I raised my children in," Angela lamented. "You were right to pick a rich woman. She won't leave you in debt up to your eyeballs, with the home you put decades of hard work into on the verge of foreclosure."

"You can stay here, Ma," Jane said, although the words pained her.

"Oh, I know. Dr. Isles told me yesterday I could move into the guest house."

Jane's eyes widened, as Maura had not mentioned this little detail, but then she was filled with gratitude that Maura had insisted on putting in a guest house. At least her mom would be in a separate building, with her own kitchenette.

"Okay, but if you stay there, you cannot come barging in on us in the bedroom," Jane insisted.

"I won't do it again, I promise."

Jane sighed wearily. One month. One month was all she'd gotten of living alone with Maura in this big, beautiful house. "I mean it," she said. "If you want to come see us, knock on the back door."

"What if my toilet backs up and I need to use yours and it's an emergency?"

Jane closed her eyes. "Fine. But you don't come upstairs unless you're invited. Ever."

"But what if—"

"Ever," Jane insisted.

Angela rolled her eyes. "Fine."

~R&I~

Jane might not have been cleared to go back to work yet, but she still solved the case, with Maura's help – and, begrudgingly, Casey's. She even grabbed a live grenade out of a soldier's hand, which was surprisingly exhilarating. Actually it was very exhilarating, because it proved something important: Jane had not turned into a coward, and she was ready to be a badass cop again. She finally felt like her old self, both mentally and physically. Somehow, grabbing that grenade seemed to make her pain all but disappear. Maura was convinced it was psychosomatic.

"I think disarming that soldier made you realize that you are the hero everyone has been saying you are," Maura said as they took the elevator down from the squad room at the end of the day. "Now your fears have been laid to rest, and you don't feel the pain anymore."

"Or maybe your sex cure just takes a while to kick in," Jane teased.

Maura giggled. "Regular sex would put you back in good health in no time."

"Yeah?" said Jane, waggling her eyebrows. "Maybe we should start working on that as soon as we get home."

Maura grinned. "As long as your mother isn't going to be there!"

"If she shows up, you're going to have a new body on your autopsy table. I'm just saying."