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Harry stood up rather abruptly when Professor Snape had dismissed the class after the particular hard class of Defence against the Dark Arts. Some students were trying to stop blood from flowing and Snape was cleaning up the classroom magically. Finally the older wizard was done and he bent over the desk.
Harry looked on as Snape shuffled the papers around, looking for something. He needed to speak to the older wizard. It had only been a few days ago but he had not dared to approach the professor after mealtime so he had to do it now.
His feelings were confusing him. He still did not like Snape, but he wanted to know why Snape kissed him and most importantly, he wanted more of those kisses.
"Harry, are you coming?" Ron called out as he hoisted his backpack over his shoulder. Harry turned back towards his friends, seeing the knowing look on Hermione's face that he decided to ignore. He placed his wand into his backpack and finally said, watching the other students leave, still chattering about the class, "No, I have to ask Snape something. You go on ahead, I'll catch up."
"Be careful that you aren't too late for McGonagall's class. You know she doesn't like it when you're late." Hermione softly said.
"Thanks, but this won't take long I imagine." Harry steeled himself, waiting until after Ron and Hermione had left that he cautiously approached the desk.
Snape had not said anything to Harry since that night a few days ago and yet Harry could not shake the feeling that Snape regretted the kiss, and he had to know for sure. The tall wizard was still bent over the desk, long dark hair falling over his face and hiding it from view.
"Professor?" At the sound of his title the potions master's head snapped up. Snape steadied himself on the desk and then the dark eyes glanced around to see if nobody was present. Finally Snape smiled and said. "Yes, Potter, what can I do for you?"
The voice was different, still silky but the menace in it was gone, leaving it tired. Harry could see the weariness barely concealed behind the mask as Harry finally took a step forward and said. "I have to talk to you, sir about something…" Harry was not sure if he should say it out loud for he could hear the students gathering outside, waiting for Snape to allow them entrance.
Snape appeared even wearier and finally Harry briefly touched his lips. The dark eyes flickered down when Snape spotted the gesture, unconsciously licking his own lips. The older wizard shook his head before he dropped his gaze down on the desk and deflated with a tired sigh. "Very well, Potter. Tonight, my office at seven and don't be late!"
Harry could only give an affirmation and then he walked away from the office. He walked to his other classes, going through the motions while his mind was with the conversation that he would have with Snape tonight. If he had paid attention he would have seen the knowing smile on Hermione's face.
After dinner was over, Harry tried his best to do some of his homework but his mind just was not in it. Ron suggested that they played some card game but Harry was not up for it. "I told you, Ron that Snape expects me in his office at seven pm sharp. I better get going soon…"
"Harry, what is it that is so important that you have to talk to Snape about it? I mean come on, mate; you can talk to us as well right, or go to Dumbledore. Anything is better then greasy old Snape." Ron sounded slightly disappointed that Harry did not confide in him.
The green eyed boy looked at his best friend, seeing the hurt and confused look on Ron's face. He forced a smile to his face and placed a hand on his friend's shoulder. "There are just some things I am struggling with, Ron. Dumbledore said that I needed to try once more for occlumency lessons with Snape, see how well it works now. It is probably just a one thing kind of deal because knowing Snape he will throw me from his office very quickly."
Harry forced himself to laugh even when it sounded unnatural to him. Yet it seemed like Ron did not realize this. The ginger haired teenager only shuddered and said. "You would think after last year that Dumbledore knew that Snape might not be the best choice to teach you occlumency."
"Yeah well, as I said before, Dumbledore is busy and he has been giving me extra practise so perhaps it will go better now. I have to go if I want to be there in time. Look, Ron, I appreciate the concern, really but I can look out for myself."
Finally the older boy nodded and said softly. "Blimey, Harry, I am merely worried for you…."
"Please be careful, Harry. I still don't trust Snape." Hermione finally cut in, looking at Ron.
Harry waved their concern away, quickly walking down the corridors towards Snape's office. His friends' reactions were not strange; he would not have trusted Snape with himself. He would have to come up with a very good excuse why he was visiting the potions master so late at night. Well it was not yet so late but Harry had a feeling it might just become another late night.
He stood in front of the door for a moment, fidgeting with his hands before he raised his hand and knocked on the wooden door. Soon Snape's voice came and Harry entered, opening the door before closing it behind him.
Snape was reading at the desk, putting the book down when Harry came forward. Harry could see that the mask the potions master usually wore was firmly in place and Snape appeared cold as he said "Well, Potter, stop wasting my time and spit out whatever you wish to discuss."
Harry suddenly found himself annoyed. Snape dared to kiss him and then pretend that nothing was happening, well that might work well for Snape but not for Harry. "Very well then, sir, I shall make this brief. Perhaps you could kindly explain to me why you kissed me."
"That, Potter, is easy. It was a mistake." Snape got to his feet as Harry felt the colour drain from his face. Snape put the book away and then looked at Harry, saying in a cold voice "Now if you would kindly leave, Potter, I still have work to do."
With long strides, Snape had walked into his private quarter, leaving Harry standing in front of the desk. Harry could hear the older wizard searching for something. Harry could not believe it. Snape could not be so cold. He could not just play with Harry and it could not just have been an act, Harry refused to believe it. Yet he still not did know why.
He tried to keep his mind from overreacting. He closed his eyes, they were suddenly burning and there was a sudden tightness in his throat. His hands were shaking as anger began to course through him. Harry made up his mind, he deserved an explanation and he would be damned if he would not get one.
"Why?" He asked as Snape walked back into his office, holding a stack of papers in his hands. The dark eyed wizard looked up furiously when he saw that Harry had not left.
"Potter, I told you to leave! You have your answer…"
"You did not answer me. You merely said it was a mistake, something that should not have happened and yet you have not answered why you kissed me in the first place." Harry demanded, crossing his arms over his chest as he glared at Snape.
The older wizard put the papers on his desk and leaned against it, saying finally, and mirroring Harry's movements by crossing his arms as well. "I do not kiss people I do not care for, Potter, that should be enough. It was a lapse of judgement and you can be assured that it will never happen again!"
Relieved, Harry suddenly laughed, causing the dark head to snap up as the dark eyes narrowed dangerously. "What is so funny, Potter?" The professor barked.
Harry laughed harder then stepping closer as he answered cheekily. "You just said that you cared for me, sir."
"I did not such thing, Potter."
"Yes, you just did."
"Potter, enough! I know what I said!" Snape finally snapped. The adult wizard turned and walked away, going into his private quarter. Harry walked after him, willing Snape to talk to him and he could feel that he was close to something, something that would turn his relationship with Snape around.
"You said that you would never kiss anybody you don't care for and yet you kiss me. Therefore you must care for me." Harry began to lose his calm as he voice grew in volume. Snape turned, eyes sparkling with anger and face pale. For a moment, Harry feared he had gone too far¸ as the potions master hissed.
"And why would I care about the bloody boy who lived, Potter? Tell me, Potter, does it make you feel special that you have been kissed by me? Does it make you feel different? You are drawing enough attention to yourself without demanding answers to things that should not concern you! You should just for once accept something and do not seek to change it!"
Snape panted, looking spent as Harry remained frozen. In the last few words something different had crept into the voice of Snape, something wounded and vulnerable as Snape walked to the couch, collapsing on it with one hand supporting his head.
Cautiously Harry walked closer, his voice close to breaking as he softly said, looking at Snape as he read the body languish of the older wizard. "You have said to me that I should ask of you when you began to care and you have contradicted yourself when you said that you would never kiss somebody you don't care for. You care for me, sir, even when you do not want to admit it…."
"Potter, stop, please? You are better off not caring for me or me caring for you. It will only bring you problems." Snape's voice sounded old and weary, broken as Severus Snape glanced at Harry, eyes downcast and misted over slightly.
He looked like a man who bore the weight of the world on his shoulders. One hand was still supporting the dark head but Snape's shoulders were slumped over, the very picture of defeat.
Harry walked closer, resting a hand on Snape's knee, causing the older man to look up at him. "Sir, I know I should not care for you but I cannot help it. I don't know where this might lead but you are the only one who understands me and who does not treat me different from everybody else simply because I can defeat Voldemort. Too many things are out of my control and things I have to do even when I don't want to do it. The same goes for you. I think you have to do a thing that you do not want to do and that is why you do not allow anybody close out of fear of harming them. But you are wrong, you deserve somebody, everybody does."
"Oh, that is it, huh? You think you can help me, Potter? You think that in a few months time that I have spent with you I will have changed my ways and renounced the Dark Lord?" Snape's voice was still soft but sounded so tired and Harry knew that Snape had begun to believe he was not worth any attention.
Harry sat down next to Snape, leaning against his side, head against Snape's chest as one arm was wrapped around his shoulders. "No, I cannot change you but I know what it is to feel utterly alone and think that you are not worth any attention or deserve any happiness. I am not so arrogant that I think that you would change your ways because you got to know me. You have been protecting me for a long time now, paying the price for mistakes that you made when you were young. I am intrigued because you are you. Beyond the sarcasm you allow few to see the caring side of you. You are a brilliant man, a strong wizard and an excellent spy. I think you are brave but you cannot show it for you would surely be killed."
"Is that really what you think, Potter? For I would not want you to be disappointed in me." Snape dryly remarked.
Harry lifted his head to find himself staring into the dark eyes. There was a small smile playing across the pale face and yet Harry could still see the weariness, but Snape appeared pleased with Harry's thick headedness.
"Yes, that is really what I think." Harry softly murmured, head coming to rest upon Snape's chest against so his head rose and fell each time the older wizard took a breath. Through the thick fabric of the clothes Snape wore, Harry could feel the body heat and if he listened closely, which he did as he shifted, he could hear the strong heartbeat underneath his ear. It was steady and comforting to him and Harry pushed his head more firmly against Snape's chest.
"Potter, what are you doing?"
The soft voice vibrated through Snape's chest and Harry closed his eyes as he replied. "Listening to your heart."
He could hear the dry chuckle as Snape gently kissed the top of his head. Harry turned his head so he was looking at Snape's face and asked. "Do you still mean that you regret the kiss?"
Snape laughed this time and said. "You really think that it was a real kiss, Potter? Please, if I have to regret something then I wish to do it properly."
Harry found a smile pulling at his lips but suddenly his throat had gone dry before he remarked with more cheek then he had ever dared. "Does that mean you are going to give me a real kiss before I get kicked from the room again?"
The dry chuckle came together with a hand underneath Harry's chin and the other one at the back of his head, bringing his face closer. Snape smiled as he softly breathed. "Foolish child." The warm breath was a hot gush against Harry's lips and for the second time that week Harry felt the surprisingly soft and gentle lips upon his own.
He closed his eyes, hoping to savour it before it would surely end. Yet this time a gentle tongue licked his lips and Harry opened his mouth without thinking about it. The teasing tongue gently explored his mouth before pulling away.
Snape pulled away, looking into Harry's eyes, saying to the flustered boy. "That, Potter, was a real kiss." One dark eyebrow was raised and Snape was smiling gently.
It was as if the stern potions master had been replaced by another, lighter person. Harry found himself smiling dazedly yet Severus Snape did not seem to mind as he looked at Harry. The potions master suddenly seemed hesitant but then Harry leaned forward, pushing his lips once more against the professor's, demanding more of those kisses.
The second kiss they shared was even slower then the other one and it seemed so much sweeter. Snape dominated this kiss as well but after a moment Harry began to respond. The younger male softly moaned, opening his mouth hungrily. Yet Harry responded now to the teasing tongue and it was after a moment that Snape gently pushed Harry away.
Harry breathlessly dropped his head against Snape's chest, the older wizard gently stroking his hair. Harry took deep breath to try and compose himself. He had just shared two very amazing kissing with Severus Snape. He looked up into the dark eyes, holding them with his own.
"Now what?" He reluctantly asked, not sure if he wanted to know the answer.
"I don't know, Potter…." Snape softly replied, leaning his head against the cushions of the couch.
"Harry, please call me Harry. I guess with what we have shared, you can… well it just sounds weird when you call me Potter…" Harry replied, blushing when he looked away.
"Very well, Harry. But you must realize that I can only call you that in private, not when we are in class." Harry felt a shiver going through him when Snape said private; did it mean that they would continue this? Harry focussed to hear the last words the older wizard was saying. "…but you must call me Severus then."
Harry nodded, smiling. Reluctantly he pushed himself away from Severus and the warmth of their embrace. "I should get back to the dorm. I told Ron and Hermione that I would not be long."
Severus nodded and Harry could see the dark eyes blinking when the older wizard realized that the outside world was waiting when they would open the door. Yet the smile Harry received was slow and understanding. "Very well, Harry. I must caution you not to come and seek me out. Whatever is going on between us, I know not where it may lead but I have my duties and you have yours that we must attend to. This must not come in the way for else we might find one of us in mortal peril."
The potions master walked Harry to the door and Harry turned back to Severus, saying. "But we will try to find out, right, whatever this is, Severus?" The only thing he received was a smile he received from Severus and for that moment, it had to be enough.
Hope you liked it. I need ideas for a Christmas present Harry can give to Snape. Both are falling in love but they are not really together, merely sharing some time and feeling drawn to another. Review of course.