When Heejung emerges with a bowl containing a (in her own opinion) wonderful variety of curry, uncut tomatoes, strips of pasta as decoration, and rice, Jiwoo's face does this mix between crumpling in despair and lighting up in...recognition?
Heejung sets the bowl down triumphantly in front of Jiwoo and shoves a spoon into the mixture. "How's that for hospitality?"
Jiwoo's expression finally settles on mild condescension. "You want me to eat that?"
"Hey!" Heejung yells. "I spent a lot of effort I didn't need to in order to make that for you."
Oddly, Heejung's words seem to make Jiwoo slump his shoulders in resignation and pick up the spoon. The first bite makes his face twist in this way that makes Heejung think he's trying to be polite and not shudder in disgust. She looks at the food he's eating and how it seems to ooze unpleasantness. It makes her cringe more than just a little when Jiwoo takes a gigantic bite again.
"Jiwoo, you don't have to eat it if you don't want to," Heejung says despite the injury to her pride.
Jiwoo's speech is muffled, but Heejung figures he's saying something like "But you made it."
Heejung rolls her eyes, trying to ignore the blush creeping up her cheeks. To distract herself from the way Jiwoo's comment made her heart flutter a little, Heejung says, "So, we were talking earlier about why I was ignoring you."
Jiwoo's expression turns serious although his words are still light-hearted: "Now you admit to ignoring me?"
"Yes," Heejung answers, hating how the mood is dropping so fast. A fierce desire to see Jiwoo smile some more and joke around with him more grips Heejung's heart. "And I do have a reason why, but I'm not sure if you'll accept it. I'll start from the beginning, if you're up to it. It'll take a while."
"I have all night," Jiwoo answers, finally setting his spoon down and turning to face her completely.
"Okay. Uh, where to start..." Heejung hesitates, looking away from Jiwoo's intense stare. "Well, I've sort of lost my memories. I know I've been living here since I started college because some of my friends told me, but I'm not sure where I'm originally from. I don't know who or where my parents are either because neither of them has tried to contact me. I'm okay with that though."
Jiwoo shoots her an unimpressed look, which makes Heejung admit "Okay, honestly, I'm not okay with that. It makes me feel lonely sometimes and wonder what I did to alienate them, or if I even did anything. Sorry, I'm kind of rambling and telling you too much, but it feels good to finally tell someone about my feelings. I couldn't really tell Heejae—that's one of my friends—because well, I don't think he'd understand? I feel like you would for some reason."
Heejung tries to stop her face from heating up even more, but her efforts are futile.
"Whatever. That's not the point. It's just...that's how my life was—is. I didn't—still don't, honestly—know much about myself until Heejae was helping me clean out my apartment and I found this brown notebook." At this point, Heejung's staring down at her lap and the words are tumbling out of her mouth. "I...I just started reading it, and it wasn't mine. It was some guy's. Apparently, I'd known him before I lost my memories, and it told this fantastical story about wizards and hybrid boys living in my house, competing for my love in a game to fulfill their own wishes. And so, this guy won my affections and the game, but by then, he had actually fallen in love with me, too. His wish was to return to his homeland though, but he vowed to come back and find me.
"This is all relevant to why I've been avoiding you because...he just sounds so sincere in his journal. I've been developing a crush on you, I guess you could say, but I feel like that's unfair to that guy. He's been trying—well, he's still trying—so hard to look for me, so I can't just ignore his determination, can I? I didn't really know what to do, so I freaked out and maybe overreacted."
Heejung's too afraid to look at Jiwoo, to see his reaction to what, admittedly, sounds ridiculous now that she's saying it out loud. She feels a soft warm hand on top of hers, the touch of it comforting and familiar.
"It's okay, Heejung," Jiwoo whispers. It sounds like his voice is choked with emotion yet so, so understanding, but an irrational fear of seeing Jiwoo's dismissiveness toward her situation prevents her from actually looking up at him.
Instead, Jiwoo has to gently grasp her chin and lift her head up. It confuses her to see, through the tears blurring her vision, that Jiwoo's also crying a little.
"W-Why are you crying, too?" Heejung asks, hating how she stammers a little.
"Because it's so dumb"—immediately, Heejung's heart feels like it's being strangled and coldness spreads throughout her chest until—"and yet it's so you. It's part of why I love you so much."
Now, Heejung's heart feels like it's being strangled in a different way. Jiwoo can't love her, not after what she just told him, because as she's been trying to say, she can't love him back. "Jiwoo, you can't..."
"Yes, Heejung, I can," Jiwoo insists, which just makes Heejung cry harder. He doesn't understand at all. "Because I'm your 'notebook guy.'"