A heads up - the first part of this chapter might be disturbing to someone - M-rated, but not graphic. I know I felt kind of bad writing it but that´s probably because of the characters displayed in it - the end of the part is marked with the letter M.

The whole chapter is a bit disturbing, as there are some references to violence but still, nothing graphic.

Still, I hope you enjoy the read.

Lorelei lied in kind-sized bed, sighing in irritation. She wasn´t alone in there. A man, her man, was there as well, obviously lost in thoughts. She tried to get his attention several times but with no luck. And damn she knew how to get attention.

She also knew what, or better, who, was occupying his mind.

Special Agent Teresa Lisbon. She had been on his mind for too long, claiming every minute of the time that was supposed to be hers. Lorelei Martins should be on Red John´s mind - at least now, while they lied in bed, naked together.

"You are thinking about her again," she stated accusingly, kissing his chest, "I can to whatever she can...and better," she said, making Red John chuckle amusingly.

"No Lorelei, you can´t," he replied with a smile and closed his eyes. "Lower," he ordered her and she obeyed.

"You sure about that?" she whispered between kisses, trying extra hard to please her Master.

"Yes," he breathed out. "I´m sure."

"Let me change your mind then...," she whispered against his feverish skin.

Red John shifted a bit gaining a better position for what was about to come. Lorelei was always trying to beat her personal best and he was in no mood to stop her. If it was her desire, to prove him wrong, he´ll let her try. However, his mind cannot be changed by his Mistress. It cannot be changed by anybody. He found out who he is ages ago and that was the last day of crippling doubts.

He is a leader. He had found the truth. The ultimate meaning of life.

And he needs a successor.

He groaned loudly, dizzy with desire, and felt Lorelei smiling against his skin. She was truly enjoying pleasing him and to be fair to her, she was the best in this particular...activity. But that was it. He made her into who she is today. Without him, this little damaged slut would probably find a man who would beat the shit out of her on regular basis and she would let him. Years later, having enough of his savageness, she would kill his sorry ass in an anger outburst resulting in a life spent in prison.

With him?

She could be who she was, without the fear, without the doubts - a true follower. Because that is who she is. She follows his every step, she always do what he asks her to do - not out of fear, not by a force, but because she wants to please him. Because he gave her a reason. A reason to live.

That´s a good quality for a follower...not so good for a leader.

He wants his successor to be a leader - he, or she, had to be one. Red John must continue, he will make sure of that.

He discarded the idea of finding someone in his own society - too much work with such a little reward. Desperation was reaching a high point and then, one night, lying in his bed a year ago,an idea popped into his mind. An idea that had been keeping him occupied ever since. He became even more occupied by it after discovering Special Agent Teresa Lisbon - the one and only.

She was a leader by nature, just like him. He could see that in her body, in her eyes...her movements. He would forever remember the speech she gave about how she will end the terror caused by him. The research he made about her life proved the fact that she is a leader even more. One thing was sure to Red John. She would never follow him around, would never obey him - not until he breaks her, and God knows there would be no reason for keeping her afterwards - maybe, just maybe, only as a pet - he wasn´t sure of being able to kill her.

Probably not.

Yet, she could help him create a successor.

She could bear his child.

And she will.

Red John arched his back upwards in a sudden need for release, moaning Teresa´s name while Lorelei administrated her best moves. She could heard him calling her name, hating the woman who stole her Master affection with new found ferocity.

M

"I said no! And what did you do, all of you? You big fat did it anyway!"

"You needed sleep," Cho said to raging Lisbon and stepped away knowing they crossed the line this time. Well, the line wasn´t crossed. It was totally overlooked and left behind and nobody could even see it anymore.

"We want to help you Boss," Van Pelt tried to chip in with her explanation, unaware of what the word Boss might cause.

Lisbon´s hands went to her temples and she whispered, quite angrily, "I am not your Boss anymore..."

"If that´s true," Cho said, " you should stop acting like one,"

Patrick watched the scene from a little distance and took a deep breath in. This whole thing just probably backfired the worst possible way ever. He knew that drugging Lisbon would made her angry, but that woman refused to sleep, surviving only on those damned cigarettes and water. So slipping her a sleeping pill seemed like lesser of two evils.

However, what was even worse...was the trip they´ve just made.

Two other people added to their mission and Lisbon was not happy about it. Apparently, Rigsby and Van Pelt found a way and rented a cabin in the woods, off the grid, posing as somebody else. Giving their skills in cyber crimes, Van Pelt was 100% sure it could not be traced back to them. Jane, on the other hand, was not so sure and kept looking over the hills, expecting a convoy of FBI vehicles any time soon.

Because as it turned out, FBI had contacted the Rigsby family more than once, asking questions - basically interrogating them. They claimed to know nothing and Patrick believed them.

"Okay," Lisbon said and defeat lined her words. "Okay...all of you seem to think to know what is best for me...I can honestly tell you this is not it. I am going to take a walk," she muttered and turned away from only friends she have.

"You shouldn´t go alone," Van Pelt said and followed her.

"Maybe. I will, though," Lisbon replied and kept on walking which made Van Pelt stop immediately.

"Wow," Rigsby said when Lisbon vanished between trees.

"Yeah," Cho added and crossed his hand on his chest.

"She´s just afraid. Not for her herself, but for all of you. You all know that, right?" Jane said, feeling like he´s the only one able to understand her. "She´s not ungrateful."

"Of course we know that," Van Pelt said but Jane could clearly see the hurt in her eyes. She evidently expected a heartwarming get-together which could never happen under these circumstances. That was not the only thing Jane could clearly see while looking at Van Pelt. There were her clothes for example, evidently worn a lot before, yet too tight for her now - mainly around her...well, chest area. Rigsby kept stealing glances at her and she gave him a reassuring smiles from time to time.

Given the morning time and Van Pelt´s general paleness, she had her morning sickness already.

"You´re pregnant," Patrick said all of sudden, thinking how this particular information will affect Lisbon. Probably not well.

In other words - she will freak out.

Van Pelt and Rigsby stared at Jane in shock, while Cho stared at them.

"Are you?" Cho asked and Van Pelt nodded.

"You really shouldn´t come here then," he said, looking troubled.

"That´s what I told her -" Rigsby tried to speak but his wife cut him off, like it usually happens in marriages.

"I don´t want my child live in a world where Red John roams free," Van Pelt said heartily, "I want to help," she said.

"Let´s go in then," Cho said after a quiet while. "You said you found something?"

"Yeah, it´s not much..."

"Jane, you coming?" Cho asked as the three of them headed for the cabin.

"I´ll be right there," he said, following Lisbon´s steps.

Once out of sight, Lisbon leaned over a tree breathing hard, trying very much to regain some stability. Another image from the night crossed her mind - his face leaning over hers - and she threw up, feeling sick like she haven´t felt in ages. Sleeping pill, such a great idea, right? It helps you sleep, that´s for sure. I also prohibits you from waking up, forcing you to kept your eyes shut during those vivid nightmares she had to go through the whole night, while the two of them drove her here.

"Idiots," she muttered through gripped teeth, and coughed. Luckily for her, her empty stomach couldn´t give her a lot to work with.

"Lisbon?"

She sighed. Of course one of them followed her. She remained silent, not wanting them to see her like this.

"I know you are here somewhere and I´m not leaving -"

"Crap," she whispered when another wave of nausea hit her and suddenly, Jane had no trouble finding her anymore.

He held her hair while she emptied her stomach, cursing himself and Cho immensely. He apologized, once, twice and she just waved her hand and coughed as an answer.

"I think my head is going to explode," she whispered after a while , chuckling, which made Jane worry even more.

"Let´s get you to bed, okay?"

"Yeah, sleep is just what I need right now..."

"Fair enough. Let´s make a deal - you will lie down and I will make sure that you won´t fall asleep," he said and she chuckled again.

"Says a man who drugged me...I sure trust you now, Jane."

"I do apologize. It seemed like a great idea at the time. Now, as I can clearly see, it wasn´t that great."

"You think?"

"Lisbon, you need to lie down -"

"I don´t want them to see me like this," she muttered quietly making Jane sigh out loud.

"They are your friends. I´m sure they can handle it."

Lisbon hesitated for a tiny little while, right until the colors vanished from her vision and everything turned black and white. "Okay," she breathed out and let Jane steady her on the way to the cabin.

Once inside the cabin, every sight fell on ashen Lisbon being carried by Jane.

"Oh my God, what happened?" Van Pelt was the first to react and went to help Jane carry her former Boss.

"Nothing," Lisbon whispered. "Just got a little sick, is all...no, no, I´m fine," she said, fighting the blanket someone tried to put over her. "I´m fine...so, what did you guys found out? Fill me in," she said sitting up, trying very hard to look...well, normal.

"Let me get you some water first," Jane said to what she rolled her eyes.

Thomas McAllister was born as an only child, raised mostly by his mother while his father served his country. He was a bright child, scoring high points on intelligence tests and nothing suggested that the young boy in the picture will be a serial killer in the future.

Nothing normal people could see.

Patrick spent long time looking at the photo, trying to decipher it. It was taken at home, or it seemed to. Young McAllister was standing in front a giant fireplace. The fireplace held pictures of his father mostly. There was only one picture of his parents together. Pictures of the boy were nowhere to be found - at least not in this angle.

The kid itself looked unhappy. He was smiling, but the smile was not reaching his eyes. He had a small bruise on his right hand, something the others missed. I

His stare was...troubled. The kid on the picture was afraid.

"Do we have any other pictures?" Patrick asked and Van Pelt gave him another sheets of paper.

"Some, I know it´s not much," she said gloomily - mimicking the mood in the cabin.

"No, it´s more than enough, thank you Grace," Patrick said and took a look over the second photo make Van Pelt smile a little. An older McAllister, standing in front of his school, with a bunch of other boys. Another normal photo which was not so normal. McAllister was smiling this time, a true smile was playing on his lips. The other boys weren´t looking into the camera like he was. They were looking at him. Smiling with him.

The other pictures, all three of them, showed young McAllister being surrounded by people, people who seemed to be enjoying his company. He wondered it all of them are still alive.

"How did his father died?" Patrick asked.

"The report said he died in car crash month before McAllister turned eighteen. Someone forced him out of the road. The culprit was never found and McAllister used this story as an explanation why he became a cop," Grace read her own notes.

Patrick nodded. "That was his first kill, most likely."

"You think he killed his father?" Grace asked, horrified.

"It is possible," Lisbon said, "He mentioned his father to me...I think," she said, still feeling dizzy with the headache getting worse every time she tried to think about that bastard.

"What?" Patrick asked. "Why are you only mentioning this now?"

Lisbon, sighing deeply, spoke. "It just came to me..."

"What did he say?" Cho asked, while everyone in the cabin was focusing on Lisbon´s words.

"That...he hated him...like I hated mine..." she whispered. "I...I told him I never hated my father and he got angry..." she continued, keeping her eyes closed shut. "And...and..." she whispered, her lower lip trembling just as she was.

"Stop it," Patrick said and went to the couch, grasping her hand tightly. "Lisbon, can you hear me?"

"What´s wrong with her?" Rigsby asked, worry filling his face.

"Red John did something to her- ," Cho said and Patrick shushed him.

"Lisbon? I need you to stop this, you are hurting yourself,"

"And I told him to go to hell," she continued, breathing heavily. "And then..."

Red John paced around the cold steel bed, listening to Teresa´s lies. Somehow, this woman had what it takes to make him furious. Angry. Too much angry. She was strapped on that bed for nearly three days and still, STILL, she fought him. Not physically, of course. It was her mind that fought. It shouldn´t. Not anymore.

"Lying to yourself is one thing, Teresa, but lying to me? I know the truth!" Red John almost yelled and Lisbon thought this is it. This is how it will all end.

"I´m not lying," she whispered, keeping the tears at bay. Thanks to the severe dehydration it was not a hard task. "I loved my father despite his moods...they weren´t his fault..."

"He beat you! And your brothers! He almost killed you!"

"As as said, it...wasn´t his fault. I still loved him...I understood his pain...and I feel sorry for you...nobody has ever understood you...and nobody ever will...they just pretend to...Because I know the truth, too - you´re wrong. You´ve always been. I loved my father and he loved me -"

"Shut! Up!" he ordered, angry beyond understanding. No one has challenged him like this since his childhood. No one should. No one could. "I could easily kill you right now," he whispered, breathing heavily making her shiver all over.

"But you won´t" she mumbled, disoriented. "I know...you won´t...

"You´re right," Red John said, knowing that killing this woman would be just such a waste. Torturing and using her on the other way..."I won´t - but...I can make sure you WISHED I would...," he whispered into her ear, gripping his trusty steel knife. "Your father probably prepared you for life in a misery...I doubt he prepared you for this!"

He was right, Lisbon thought after he was done with her - she wished for this to be over. Given the way she felt right now, it won´t take long for her wish to come true.

Her breathing was rapid and shallow, she felt lightheaded, weak...confused. Blinking rapidly, Lisbon took in what she thought was the last look on the room where she would most likely die. It was not a nice room. It was not a nice death.

She was cold, trembling as much as the restraints allowed her to.

She couldn´t cry - but not because she didn´t want to.

Her eyes fell on her strapped down hands seeing that her fingernails had turned blue. Her lips were probably blue, too, she just couldn´t check it.

Hypovolemic shock.

Without the medical attention, there was no chance she would survive this, and since there was not a chance she would get any kind of attention other than torture...she closed her eyes, bracing for what was about to come.

Suddenly, the door to the room opened again, letting real light in, burning her eyes even while they were closed. Being in this darkness for too long, her eyes adjusted to it.

"She will die unless you help her," she could hear Red John say, his voice emotionless.

"Isn´t it what you want?" a man she didn´t recognize by voice asked, genuinely surprised.

"No," Red John said calmly, "I just got a little carried away with her."

"I can see that," the other man said taking in the gruesome sight in front of him. Poor woman. "I need to unstrap her."

"Is that really necessary?"

"Yes it is. I doubt she will put up a fight, if that´s what you afraid off. She´s barely breathing and going into shock. I need to maneuver her."

"I see. Do what you need to do," Red John said finally. "And no one will heard about this, am I clear?"

"Of course. My lips are sealed as always, my Master," the man said and Lisbon could feel the pressure on her hands disappearing. She wiggled a little when the other man spoke again and the door closed shut meaning Red John left.

"Now now, don´t you move darling. You´ll just make it worse. I will take care of you, don´t worry. I have saved many lives and yours no different, is it?"

"Eat...shit," she muttered and lost consciousness.

The man just smiled. That was not the usual respond he got. No wonder Master wants this woman alive.

"How is she?" Red John asked the medic, standing in his little hide-out, looking out of the tiny window, watching, waiting.

"Stable. She is heading for a kidney failure thought. If it gets any worse - and it will - , she will need a proper medical attention. Nothing I can do here, under these circumstances."

Red John turned around to face the medic - a man that had helped him keep many people alive until he was done with them.

"Are you sure about that?"

"Yes. Her urine - there´s blood in it. The severe dehydration and blood loss -"

"How long?" Red John cut him, knowing perfectly well why her kidneys were failing.

"Maybe a day - after that, I would strongly recommend to put her in a hospital care. Kidney failure is treatable yet the longer we wait the worse it will get. It´s progressive and if it goes too far, it´s irreversible."

Red John sat down at a wooden chair and leaned it, sighing. He was so looking forward for spending a lot more time with Teresa but...he needed her healthy. For her ultimate purpose to be filled she needed to healthy, with organs working.

"Very well. I will make sure she´ll make it to the hospital tomorrow. Until then, I expect you to keep her alive. A lot depends on it - your own life too."

"As you wish," the medic said, "will you see her again today?"

Red John stared into the wide space in front of him and nodded, "Yes I will. Soon. Now go, make sure she´s alive when I get there."

The medic nodded and left, leaving Red John alone in his little room, lost in thoughts.

She made him angry. And he couldn´t control himself. He nearly killed her...Losing control like that...It shouldn´t happen.

She has to go, at least for now. She will get better and he will learn how not to lose control himself while facing her.

As he said before, a lot depends on this.

FBI Supervisory Special Agent Dennis Abbott had had a really bad day. Not only his people couldn´t locate the whereabouts of Kimball Cho, Wayne Rigsby and Grace Van Pelt have gone missing, too. Something was telling him that the old CBI team got back together and is working on its own.

That needs to be stopped.

"Anything Wylie?"

"Not yet," the young agent said, typing on his computer like crazy. Abbott knew that he won´t stop until something pops out. He was already looking like he needed a solid eight hours of sleep.

They all did.

Abbott nodded and went into his own little glass office when his phone rang. With a loud sigh, he picked it up, wondering what will come next.

"Special Agent Dennis Abbott, FBI."

"Evening, Agent Abbott, this is Sheriff Thomas McAllister of Nappa Valley and I was wondering if I could steal a bit of your precious time so you could enlighten me on whether if FBI looking into me and my men? And if so, why?"

Abbott took a deep breath in. So, the Sheriff finally found out. It was bound to happen sooner or later, better deal with it quick and painlessly.

"Evening to you too Sheriff. I´m sure you do understand that I don´t have to answer any of your questions, or any questions regarding the ongoing investigation," Abbott replied calmly, "and we are not giving any information out, now even to you. Or to your men."

There was a silence on the other line for a while until Sheriff McAllister spoke again.

"I sure do understand that Agent Abbott and I´m not asking for any information about the investigation. All I was asking for was a little agency to agency courtesy. So, I will change my question...should we be worried? My men are good men. They -"

"No, you shouldn´t be worried Sheriff, nor your men. Now, I have work to do, so if there´s anything -"

"No," McAllister replied, "That´s all I needed to know. Thank you Agent Abbott, I won´t bother the mighty FBI anymore." And then he hung up leaving Abbott alone once again.

"That was weird," he muttered to himself and called Fischer, hoping she would bear some good news.

She didn´t.

Red John put the phone down with a smile on his face. So...the team got together finally as the double agent working at FBI informed him. It´s just a matter of time before they make a mistake and the FBI will find them.

Not all of them, of course.

Until those idiots at FBI put two and two together, Teresa Lisbon would be just here, with him. And that´s all that matters to him.

The search had been already conducted again, this time with more of his people and different bases had been covered. As he said, a matter of time.

This Thomas McAllister persona will be finally able to disappear forever - nothing else will remain, but Red John.

Until then, Red John immersed into the Black Notebook again.

He read it again, while Lorelei lay in his bed, unnoticed, forgotten.

And furious.

Patrick stayed with Lisbon when Grace admitted to actually be too tired to stay awake any longer. She went to sleep just a little before the midnight, unable to stay up anymore. He stayed with Lisbon when Rigsby went to join Cho on the look-out outside after his wife had fallen asleep.

Him staying with her had nothing to do with cowardice or laziness.

He stayed right where he was because Lisbon had laced her little fingers with his after that one particularly bad flashback.

She got them scared. All of them. That´s why Grace stayed up until midnight even though her eyelids were drooping two hours ago. That´s why both Cho and Rigsby refused to go to sleep and watched over them during the night.

And that was why Patrick Jane was still up, brushing her tiny cold hand with his thumb, desperately wishing for her to wake up.

Because, honestly, he couldn´t tell if she was sleeping or it was something else.

Her breathing was normal, finally. Yet, given her previous sleeping patterns resulting in nightmares, this peaceful slumber might not actually be a peaceful slumber.

To be honest, he had no idea what was happening with her. Her friends - people who were supposed to know her better than anyone - were all looking at him while she trashed on that couch, asking without words, just with their eyes.

What´s happening? What´s wrong with her?

How could he now? The fact is Teresa Lisbon just came into his life days ago...she´d been part of theirs for years.

Perhaps she was just good at guarding her own privacy, or...no. The other option was bullshit. They cared for her. They cared to much that they were willing to risk their lives for her.

Yet, none of them really knew her - they knew their Boss, Special Agent Teresa Lisbon. They probably had no idea who she was, once outside of work. They couldn´t be blamed if they had no idea who Teresa Lisbon is after the abduction.

He wondered if she knows that herself.

"Ugh...Jane...?" she whispered all of sudden.

"I´m here," he replied, relieved at the fact that she finally woke up.

"What happened...?" she asked quietly and shifted a little to be able to face him, rubbing her eyes with her free hand, "God I´m thirsty..."

"You had another flashback. I´ll get you some water,"

"Thanks," she murmured, releasing his hand from hers and he went to fill a cup with cold tap water. Once he gave her the cup, she gulped it down in seconds.

"Glad you´re up finally," Patrick said, kneeling down to her once again, "you got us all worried."

"I know why he let me go...back then," she whispered to Jane, ignoring his words, knowing he had really no idea what she is talking about. Yet, he listened, so she continued, figuring that talking is not as that bad as...being silent. "I´ve been wondering why he did that for the last few months, trying to find any reason behind it...,"

"And?" he asked, holding her hand again.

"My kidneys," she said and chuckled. "They stopped working. That was it. It was not a remorse, nor pity...I needed hospital care. That´s why he let me go," she continued, looking worse by seconds. "I remembered...He needs me for something, Jane. He needs me healthy and well. And I´m afraid that I know what his plan with me is..."

"Oh," he whispered, the realization hitting him hard, "You don´t think that -"

"I don´t think that...I know that," she chuckled again, without any humor in it. "Now, I finally know."

"Fuck," he muttered.

"Yeah...don´t tell the others," she whispered, worry and shame flashing in her eyes.

"Lisbon -"

"Please," she pleaded. "I don´t usually beg but Jane...I´m begging you now," she said while fighting tears that were about to be shed.

Patrick nodded as an agreement and did something someone should do ages ago. He gave her a hug, which resulted in flinching at first, however, seconds later she relaxed into his embrace.

"Listen, Lisbon, I know I said that we should use you as a bait for my plan, but given the recent findings -"

"I can handle it," she whispered, yet stayed in his embrace.

"Can you?" Patrick asked sincerely, shifting a little, trying to see her face. "I know I couldn´t."

"Well, that´s you," she said and wiggled out of his embrace, wearing a strong cop mask again - except her eyes. Her eyes told him she was afraid. Very afraid. "There´s just no other way. Not anymore. He wants me and now that I finally know why...I can prepare myself."

"You should tell the team Lisbon,"

"Yeah, right. I should tell them right now. Hey guys, guess what? Red John wants to have a child with me, great huh?" she said tiredly and finally, a tear rolled down her cheek.

"Well, I would definitely use a different kind of phrasing -"

"What kind of person does that make me? He finds me interesting enough to...to -"

"Well, let me see. You´re strong, independent, confident and loyal person. People follow you - even when you try to push away, as we can easily see," he said and smirked, emitting a little smile from her. "You´ve been away from your team for more than half a year and they still call you boss," Patrick said before she could interrupt him, understanding why this new particular and horrifying information made her upset. "Those are great qualities for a leader and I´m sure he´s looking just for that. Besides, there´s the daddy issues -"

"Wait, if you´re saying that I have -"

"No, no, no Lisbon, not you. He does," Patrick said but Lisbon just huffed, brushing those few shed tears away from her cheeks.

"Look Lisbon, you are nothing like him. Not realizing this is and will be his biggest mistake. Trust me," he said confidently.

"Okay," she whispered finally, sighing. "Where is everyone?" she asked worriedly and looked around only now realizing that the room was empty.

"Cho and Rigsby are out and Grace is sleeping in the bedroom getting the much needed sleep. "

"I scared them, haven´t I?" she asked worriedly.

"Yes, they´d be very happy to hear that you´re fine. As a matter of fact, I should go and tell them," he said, standing up when she grabbed his hand and stopped him.

"I´m going with you, help me up, will you?"

"Of course I will," he said, knowing that ordering or even just suggesting some more bed rest was pointless and helped her up. "Hold onto me. You´re dizzy, I don´t want you to fall."

"I´m not dizzy," she said but grabbed his arm tightly, steadying herself in the process.

"Of course you aren´t."

"Oh, hush and just help me."

"Ah, a plea for help. You are finally starting to get rational...," Patrick said and lead her out of the cabin.

"Oh, shut up," she said, but smiled, showing her dimples, and Patrick knew he was screwed. He wanted to see her smile again.

He cared about her more then he would like to admit.

Thank you for reading and your feedback. I´m planning on wrapping this story soon, if I can manage that somehow, so the next chapter will finally include a plan to catch Red John. Hopefully - I will try hard to come up with something that makes sense :)

Wish me luck.