The sound of his cell woke him up, and again it was early, and again Yuuri muttered incoherently into the mouthpiece.

"Ghfra?"

Luckily, Wolfram understood Yuuri-speak, even if it was the obscure dialect of daybreak-Yuuri.

"Morning, Yuuri. You aren't allowed to hang up until you tell me what the hell is going on."

Uh-oh. Yuuri was still incredibly groggy, but he remembered snippets of his bizarre dream with the all-star cast. Being kissed back had made his morning a lot... harder that it should've been.

Yuuri blushed at the sound of Wolfram's voice. It was too early, his mental defenses wouldn't be properly set up until noon, and his life was getting harder. What Yuuri really needed was-

"Wolf... I think I need to take a... really cold shower before I can talk."

There. Wolfram will think I'm very groggy, and he won't suspect anything!

There was a brief pause on Wolfram's end.

The blond chose his words carefully.

"Is this because of... love problems?"

Oh! Streamers are metaphorically falling from the sky! Wolfram has hit the nail right on the head.

Yuuri's blush turned an unhealthy scarlet, and he began sputtering.

"Uh, um... But, Wolf, I mean.... What?! What're you tal-... talking about?"

Wolfram sighed.

"It is because of your love troubles then. Yuuri, I'm a guy too, and the kind of trouble you're talking about... I'll call back in a half hour, wimp."

Yuuri wondered if it was possible to hear a blush over the phone, before groaning and wrenching himself off the floor towards the kitchen.

He needed ice for his bath this morning.

"You decent now?"

"Shut up, you. I don't know what you thought my problem was, you pervert, but you were wrong, all right?"

Wolfram snorted.

"Right. And I'm a flaming lumberjack."

Yuuri choked a little, and whispered prayers to anyone who would listen that Wolfram was being sarcastic about his career as a woodcutter, not so much about the flaming bit.

"Whatever. Conrad called yesterday to ask about you. I think he's prepared to kill whoever kidnapped you, Wolf... He didn't sound very merciful over the phone, and I don't have any personal experience, but being stabbed in the chest with the bendy thing he uses for tournaments isn't going to be fun, is it?"

Wolfram waved his hands dismissively, the gesture unseen but felt by Yuuri.

"Small potatoes. Conrad can't stand up to me, wimp, try and be logical! What I'm really terribly interested in is this whole love problem thing." Wolfram scowled. "I've been away for just a few days, and suddenly you have love problems? Spill. Or die."

"Damn it Wolfram, can't you just leave it alone?!"

Yuuri started the screaming match, and Wolfram would never be shouted down.

"Obviously I can't, you idiot, because you're the biggest wimp in the world risking his stupid neck over my family disputes, and you're upset about something, but I'm too bloody far to do anything about it!"

"You would hate me if I told you, Wolf."

Yuuri had managed to inject so much despair and self-loathing into his words, that Wolfram (who was already worried) had to resist the urge to put on his shoes and run all the way back home.

Instead he sighed, and leaned forwards until his forehead pressed against the stone wall, enjoying the coolness.

What has the wimp done now?

"You're underestimating me, Yuuri. I couldn't hate you even if I sat down and made my mind up to. Just tell me wimp, or I'll kill someone from repressed curiosity, and then we'll be in serious trouble."

Yuuri sighed. When Wolfram was in his threatening-murder mode, it usually meant he was one big annoyance away from actual-murder mode. A rampaging Wolf terrorising the neighbourhood would attract Gwendal's attention, and black hair or not, the whole jig would be up.

"... I'm actually gay." Yuuri whispered, half-hoping Wolfram didn't hear him and his pride would stop him from asking Yuuri to repeat himself.

There was a sharp intake of breath from Wolfram's side.

"Yuuri... Wimp, are you mocking me or something? Is this because of the fight we had that day? If it is, how dare you-" Wolfram sounded enraged, voice a low growl.

"Wolfram. I'm in love with a man."

"Oh."

How the hell am I supposed to respond to that? Wolfram shouted in his mind, worry twisting in his gut at the thought of Yuuri being in any kind of conflict, even his own emotional ones. This was Wolfram's standard response to all things Yuuri.

"This is... something recent?"

Yuuri took it as a good sign that Wolfram hadn't hung up in distaste. He didn't think the blond would, but Yuuri believed he could more accurately predict the date the world ended than Wolfram's reaction to anything.

Usually he got the feel of what Wolfram would do right (storm off, hit something, shout, pout, sulk, etc.), but reduced by a factor of... a million. It was part of what made Wolfram such an interesting person to live with.

And apparently be in love with.

...

My God, I can't believe I said that! I actually said love! Love! LOVE! Am I even responsible enough to declare this as love? Do I need a second opinion or something? I think I should really, really ask someone-

"Yuuri!"

"Sorry! It's just that with you gone I'm alone most of the time, so I got to thinking, and that's when I realised... that I was, you know.... gay."

Wolfram groaned.

"I think I need a cigarette."

Isn't that what people ask for after they've had se-... Shut up shut up shut up me, I don't want to have to take another shower!

"Sorry Wolf. Told you you'd hate it."

"I don't mind, you idiot. I'm just worried you'll do something stupid and confess to whoever the guy is, totally freaking him out because, guess what wimp, before this you weren't hot for his bod. Worst thing is I can't even help."

The words "I love you" died before they made their way past Yuuri's lips at Wolfram's grumble. He didn't think that being told someone was in love with you was a thing worth feeling disturbed by, but then again up until his own Wolf-related Enlightenment, Yuuri had been decidedly against such things.

"Wolf, I was planning on... confessing today! Is it such a bad idea to tell you?"

Yuuri had accidentally let slip the identity of his crush, but a distracted Wolfram is not an observant one.

"Telling me you're in love is one thing, I think telling this guy so suddenly might turn out badly... My God, wimp, you just had to choose the most difficult time possible to get yourself a boyfriend!"

"I'm sorry Wolfram. I'd have preferred not to have fallen in love with the guy at all, but... I really, really can't help myself."

Wolfram knew it was a lost cause then. Yuuri, slow, earnest Yuuri, meant everything he said with the entirety of his giant heart. Some might label Yuuri's feelings as infatuation, but Wolfram knew that with Yuuri, an infatuation like this could last a very, very long time.

"Who's the guy, then?"

Yuuri took a deep breath, made a decision, and...

Took the plunge.

"Wolfram."

The blond made an irritated sound.

"Yes, Yuuri, I'm still here, what is his name?"

Yuuri found that after admitting it once, the second time positively rolled off his tongue.

"I love you, Wolf."

"Yes, Yuuri, I love you too, but..."

Oh.

Oh.

"Bielefeld, what's got your panties in a bunch? Did you call an adult hotline but got rejected because you sound like a 6-year-old girl over the phone?"

Murata had bravely teased Wolfram from a safe distance of about ten feet away, wondering why the blond was clutching his cell and looking like a ghost had appeared suddenly and had tried to sell him insurance.

Green eyes turned to face him, and Murata was immediately concerned. The blond held a water bottle in his hand, precisely the kind of blunt object Wolfram favoured when attempting to brain Murata after some insulting comment or other.

And yet, the blond had done nothing, not a single move to kill Murata.

"Is it about the kidnapping?" Murata mouthed.

Wolfram shook his head no, but declined to elaborate.

"Is it about Yuuri?"

A calculating look, before Wolfram nodded hesitantly.

The blond looked stricken when Murata began moving towards him, clamming up and immediately flipping his phone shut.

Yuuri's breath stopped at the sound of a line gone dead.

Bingo! thought Murata.

"What's up, Wolfram?"

"Nothing that you need to be concerned with."

Murata pouted. Class started late today, and he had never been the kind of man to pass by a free morning show.

"If it's something that's going to stress you out so bad that you go on a killing spree starting with me, then I think I need to be concerned."

The phone in Wolfram's hand started vibrating, and Wolfram looked at it with something close to fear, as if the smooth clamshell was going to bite him.

Yuuri had all fingers crossed, praying that Wolfram wasn't so traumatised that he would forevermore cut all contact with him. He would have a hell of a time making rent, for one.

He would die from Wolfram-withdrawal, for another.

Answer the phone Wolfram!

"Why won't you answer the phone, Wolfram?"

The blond looked positively shaken, eyes wide and breathing shallow. Murata wondered what precisely Yuuri had said, but couldn't imagine anything short of the other boy dying to get the eternally unruffled Bielefeld in such a state.

Murata was mildly worried.

"Hand me the phone, Wolfram."

"I don't want to."

"Then answer it."

"I. Don't. Want. To."

"Fine." Murata picked up the cordless phone, juggling it from hand to hand, his best evil-face on. "You know what, I feel like randomly calling my good ol' buddy Shibuya, y'know, because I'm so worried about him, and-"

Murata didn't get a chance to complete his sentence, because a well-aimed cushion knocked the phone right out of his hands, and Wolfram was there beside him suddenly, picking it up and looking slightly manic.

The bespectacled boy sighed.

"You guys trust me to keep a felony quiet, made me become an accessory to the kidnapping of the heir of one of the largest fortunes in the world, but you can't even tell me what's going on? That's cold, man."

Wolfram looked like he wanted to shout something, then hesitated.

Murata knew then beyond any shadow of doubt that this was serious business. Few things could make the hot-headed Bielefeld hold his tongue, and the things that could were probably incredibly scary.

"It's... not something I have a right to tell."

The darker boy rubbed his hands together in anticipation of a challenge, his curiosity now much more than merely piqued.

"That's fine, Shibuya's my best-est friend ever, he wouldn't mind me knowing. Since you've decided to take up a vow of silence, Wolfram, I'll guess what's wrong, and when I get it, you just make that big-eyed look of terror you've done so well, yeah, just. Like. That."

He thoughtfully tapped his chin.

"Is Shibuya injured?"

Shake.

"Having a panic attack?"

Shake.

"Getting cold feet?"

Shake.

"Umm... Food poisoning!"

"Because Yuuri feeling a bit ill is a perfectly legitimate reason for me to behave the way I do." Wolfram snorted, despite his still-jittering nerves. Murata was mocking his threshold for worry.

"Alright, alright, don't have to get snarky on me. You're not really dropping any clues, you know. Hmm, let's see. What could Shibuya do that would make you act like a jumpy cat on caffeine? He joined a volunteer search team?"

"Like I'd worry about something so minor."

"If you're feeling so chatty, you may as well just spit it out, Wolfram," said Murata testily.

Wolfram scowled, yet somehow still managed to look twitchy without actually twitching.

"Fine. I'll shoot for the big ones then. He's secretly married, he has a love child, he owes money to mobsters, he thinks your hair is ridiculously girly, he came out of the closet, he-"

Wolfram's face blanched, and he looked like he was about to pass out. Placing a bracing hand against the wall, the blond began taking in deep breaths, widened eyes never breaking contact with Murata.

"Oh. So Shibuya I-like-girls-no-really! Yuuri is gay... Who would have thought? Still, Biele, seeing as how you haven't killed me for trying to feel you up, I wouldn't have thought you were a homophobe. You just aren't the type, you know. If you asked me, I would have said my friend Wolfram loathed being hit on by both the boys and the girls! So that would mean..."

Wolfram helplessly, angrily watched as the light dawned in Murata's bespectacled eyes.

Murata's mouth turned down into a frown, hand automatically going to rub his chin in serious contemplation, completely ignoring a fidgeting Wolfram.

"He's alone and he thinks he's in love with Bielefeld, but Shibuya's always been a wimp so this just might be a case of absence making the heart fonder, only with Shibuya platonic fond's been confused for love-love fond, and since he's so naive about everything, he can't tell, and he'll keep enforcing the illusion for as long as he's missing Wolfram, and the idiot would actually make himself fall in love, because he's an idiot, and-"

Wolfram snapped his fingers in front of Murata's face, feeling slightly pissed off after hearing the conclusion Murata was drawing in the mumbled, thinking-out-loud voice under his breath.

"Yuuri doesn't make mistakes about wimpy things like love, Murata."

The dark-haired boy pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

"There's a first time for everything."

And Wolfram nodded in agreement, pinning Murata with a look.

"Exactly," said Wolfram with feeling.

Yuuri had laced his shoes up and had put on his coat, fully intending to rush to Murata's home and beg for Wolfram's forgiveness when he collided with another body as he stepped out.

"Arghh!" he cried, arms flapping wildly as he fell backwards onto his bum. Muttering unhappily under his breath, he looked up frowning.

"Bad time?"

It's the second time you've asked me that, and for the second time, yes!

Outwardly, he smiled nervously.

"Sorry Conrad, I was just about to go out. Never mind, please come in!"

"I'm not interrupting anything?"

Just my, since Wolf will kill me for this, first and last confession ever.

"It's alright. Just having a bit of a... disagreement with my friend."

Brown brows drew together in concern, and Yuuri could hardly stifle the moan of misery at the feeling of irritation for the intrusion and the guilt for Conrad's genuine concern.

"Ah... Might this be the friend mother told me about?"

"Probably."

Conrad smiled knowingly, and Yuuri really really wanted to shout that Conrad didn't know the half of it. The darker, more inclined towards being slightly sadistic part of him had Yuuri's lips forming the words.

Common sense stopped them from being spoken.

"A lovers' tiff?"

"It's one-sided, really. I think I've upset him, but he's pretending it never happened, so.... What am I saying, I should be asking about Wolfram!"

The smiled dropped from the man's face, and Yuuri was only slightly happy for it. At least they were heading away from the topic that could, conceivably, cause Yuuri to give up the game, start sobbing and beg Conrad for relationship advice.

I'm so suave!

"There were a few leads, but they landed nowhere. For someone who looks so striking, nobody anywhere can seem to remember seeing Wolfram. The police are trying to look for any clues, but the bastard who did this seems to have committed an almost-perfect crime."

"Almost perfect?"

Yuuri had seated them both at the dining table, plunking a glass of apple juice in front of Conrad, nothing for himself. Yuuri was busy wringing his hands in worry and guilt, and he didn't want a cup to get in the way.

The brunette smiled the scary smile that Wolfram got when he was feeling particularly smug.

"The hell Gwendal is going through to find him, there isn't much of a possibility of anyone getting away with this."

Good chance to gauge Wolfram's family's love! I really wonder about brother Gwen and his intentions for Wolfram. I'm praying it isn't all about the money. Not about the money at all, or Wolf... he'll be even more unhappy, if that's possible.

"Gwendal's really upset because it makes handling Wolfram's fortune more difficult or something, right? I know he's your brother and all, Conrad, but Mr. Voltaire scared me silly the last time he was here. I thought I'd get a heart attack and die just to get away from him frowning at me..."

Yuuri's hook was well baited, and that was a surprisingly good cast.

Reel in the brown bass!

Conrad frowned gently.

"Yuuri, Gwendal might look like he can't think of anything that isn't related to the company, but give us some credit. Our brother's missing, money and assets and management aren't the most important thing. Plus Gwendal has always had a soft spot for Wolfram-"

The way he treats Wolfram is the way he treats someone he has a soft spot for? Oh my god, I feel sorry for anybody Gwendal is unhappy with already!

"-and he starts growling violently any time we even vaguely mention the possibility of Wolfram not turning up in one piece. We are brothers, Yuuri, even if Wolfram doesn't seem to want to accept it."

Conrad sipped his drink, feeling decidedly more certain that Wolfram would be found unharmed. Talking to Yuuri was always reassuring, even when the boy didn't really say anything relevant.

"So, since there isn't much news about Wolfram for now, how about we have a little chat about your friend?"

"There's nothing much to talk about." There's a lot to talk about, I could write a book about it! But how am I supposed to ask you? 'I'm in love with your brother, and guess what, he's not really kidnapped, he's just hiding because of some weird plot I came up with to make him see how much other people love him. Should I send him flowers?'

"Every little bit helps."

Conrad smiled a reassuring smile, and Yuuri hung his head in defeat. Conrad was almost like his godfather, the adult Yuuri could call to ask about the problems that needed a level head to clear, which automatically ruled out Wolfram and Yuuri's entire family. It was diabolically difficult to keep the lie up, but while Conrad had special magnetic powers in his warm brown eyes, Yuuri could brave through it as long as he thought about Wolfram's infinitely better-looking green ones.

"Well... We weren't really committed or anything, before this. He's my first ever boyfriend, so we took things very slow. The problem is since Wolf disappeared, I realised that I can't imagine him not always being there, so I told him that... And I think I scared him. He won't answer my calls any more, so I wanted to go see him and apologise and take back whatever I said that made him unhappy-"

Depending on who was listening, the man Yuuri was talking about was both Wolfram and not Wolfram.

Conrad interrupted.

"Maybe you surprised him with what you said, Yuuri. Is he as... new to this type of relationship as you are?"

"Umm... He's ridiculously handsome, so people always throw themselves at him, but I think it's the first time something like this has ever happened to him. So what?"

I feel like I'm about to give the birds and the bees and sometimes other birds speech to my son. Yuuri is a complete innocent.

The brunette cleared his throat.

"He may be very surprised by your admission, Yuuri. Could you imagine how you would feel if a very close friend... for you, I guess it would be Wolfram, so imagine if Wolfram called you up one day and told you he was in love with you. How do you think you would feel?"

Ecstatic? I think I would start babbling nervously, if it's Wolfram. Then I'd drop the phone and run like the hounds of hell were after me to go and hug him or punch him or something, because it's Wolfram and you said he says he's in love with me.

"Surprised, I guess, Conrad. But if it's Wolfram, I don't know, I'm pretty sure I couldn't be angry at him. I mean, it's Wolfram. Does that make sense?"

The older man nodded.

"It does. So imagine your friend feeling the same way. Right now he's probably looking at his phone thinking it's Yuuri. I'm certain things will work out."

Conrad winked.

"After all, I don't think anyone can stay angry with you, Yuuri."

"It's Shibuya, Wolfram! What's there to be scared of? Get some balls and call him and apologise and profess your wonderful gay love for him!"

Wolfram whirled around and hit Murata in the face with a cushion.

"Shut up! We're talking about Yuuri here, so be serious! If I say the wrong thing he'll get all wimpy and sad and he'll feel bad, and you are not helping me figure out the best thing to say to him!"

"That's the whole point! Shibuya's a spectacular wimp normally, and now you know that he's even more spectacularly a wimp since he's in love with you. Do you think he'd be unhappy with anything you decide?"

The blond huffed and crossed his arms, scowling mightily. For someone who was a certified genius, Murata was remarkably stupid.

"Just because the wimp will forgive me for saying anything, doesn't mean I want to say things that I need forgiveness for! I don't want Yuuri hurt, do you understand?"

Murata shrugged, sifting through a stack of textbooks to look for the ones that he would need for class. Just because Wolfram and Yuuri were currently without jobs and had plenty of time for a drama worthy of a soap, didn't mean he was free as a... freeloader too. Murata had an education to get.

"If you want to make sure a boy doesn't get heartbroken after a confession, the only thing you can do is to accept it. Since, you know, rejection hurts and all."

"I wouldn't know."

Murata took a few moments to curse the universe for making Wolfram both incredibly pretty and incredibly annoying. He worked hard to get a decent response from the ladies, and all Wolfram had to do was flip his hair.

It's alright, it's alright! It's obvious that I'm much, much more intelligent than him. Physical beauty doesn't last long, and when he doesn't have good looks on his side, no one will want to date him!

"By the way, Bielefeld. What's your I.Q?"

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Just answer me, alright? I'm trying to help you and Shibuya here."

Wolfram growled and massaged his temples.

"A hundred fourty something, I think. I don't know for sure, the last time I took the test was years ago when Yuuri forced me to"

Murata's smile was more than a little forced as he shrugged on his bag and headed for the door.

"Wonderful. Have fun solving this crisis by yourself Bielefeld!"

A/N: Sorry for the late update and the lack of review replies! My head's been full of so many other things, but I wish I'd been timely. Hope you enjoyed the chapter. Also, the reason I'm trying especially hard to update all of my fics today is because I have just received my first ever fanart for a story I wrote :D It's for my DGM fic, but I'm so hopelessly flattered and pleased I decided to spread my ridiculously good mood~