A/N: Thank you again for all of your reviews and PM's, it is very much appreciated.
Special thanks as always to Purdy's Pal for her help with this chapter
Chapter 7
Silence greeted Fiona when she opened the door to the loft. It seemed strange how the emptiness beckoned, its soothing hush engulfing her. Walking inside she threw her bag onto the bed haphazardly and looked blearily down at the key she still held in her hand.
Hot tears gathered in her eyes, but she blinked them away. She was so tired of feeling like this. Since his return, Michael had made her feel so special, showing her just how much she meant to him. He'd given her more of himself than he'd ever given her in the past, and it meant so much to her. But his departure had left a hole in her life that took longer to close every time he went away.
Throwing her keys onto the bedside table, she sank down onto her bed and buried her face into her hands. She was so tired but she doubted she would be able to sleep now. How could she when her mind was reliving the last few hours over and over again? She couldn't seem to shake the memory of the saddened glances of her three friends at the dinner table, no matter how much she tried to erase it.
She and Michael had been prepared for his departure, but even though they knew that the call could come at any time, it still didn't expunge the ache inside her. The metal gates downstairs suddenly scraped open breaking through her thoughts and putting her on high alert. She pulled her SIG out of her bag before walking tentatively towards the door, yanking it open with her gun drawn.
Jesse held his arms up in the air and regarded her carefully before lowering his hands again. "Hi, Fi…I…uh…"
Fiona suddenly felt very conscious of the fact that he would see the obvious signs of tears. In a vain attempt to mask her features, she lowered her eyes from his briefly only to raise them again to look upon him, silently challenging him to comment on her appearance.
"I just wanted to check up on you and see if you're okay," Jesse's voice was unusually soft; his eyes searching her sorrow filled ones.
Fiona stepped aside silently, not trusting her own voice. She closed the door as soon as he was inside and turned around to see him staring at her flushed face. Wordlessly she turned away from him and walked towards the kitchen, hiding behind her false façade.
Jesse's eyes were drawn to the new additions in the loft. There were shelves containing snow globes and photos that weren't there on his last visit. There was a definite presence of Fiona all around the loft, and from that moment he envied the life that Michael Westen was seemingly willing to leave behind.
"So, are you doing okay?" His asked, his voice tender as he spoke.
Her hands stilled when she reached for a glass from the cupboard but she pushed the agitation away. Instead she filled the empty glass with water and took a long gulp, keeping her back to him.
"I'm fine," she told him when she replaced the glass in the sink. "Michael and I knew this was coming."
"I know," he nodded awkwardly as he fiddled with the car keys in his hand. "Do you need anything?"
She walked towards the refrigerator to pull the door open. There were four pots of Yogurt inside that Michael had brought earlier that day and she found herself slamming the door closed against the reminder of his absence. After a few seconds she opened the refrigerator door again and pulled the offending pots out with both hands and placed them onto the counter in front of him.
"I need you to take these," she told him, gesturing towards the counter. "Since I became pregnant I can't stand the smell of Yogurt. I doubt Michael will be back before they spoil."
"That's not exactly what I meant," he told her softly as he stepped closer.
"Jesse," she sighed. "I'm fine. I know you all think that because I'm pregnant I've somehow lost the ability to function—"
"None of us think that Fi."
"I'm not going to break like some china doll," she snapped. "I'm a big girl, I can handle being alone."
"I know," he held his hands up in mock surrender. "I worry about you."
"Well don't," she told him angrily. "I'm fine."
"I…can go if that's what you want," he hovered near her and watched her carefully, "But, I could stay for a while if you want some company…if you wanted to talk or something…"
Fiona stared at him questioningly, suddenly feeling very uncomfortable. Shaking her head she was about to tell him that she was doing just fine on her own when she felt his fingers brush over her arm briefly before he pulled his hand away again just as quickly.
"I said I'm fine," she told him fiercely when he reached to touch her again. She stepped back quickly, fixing him with her steely gaze. "What the hell are you doing?" she growled, "I love Michael."
"What?" he asked suddenly, shaking his head and moving away from her. "I know that, I didn't mean for you to think I…never mind…"
"Jesse," she sighed heavily and closed her eyes briefly to shake off the fatigue. Opening them again, she regarded him coolly. "Why are you here?"
"I'm here as your friend," he told her quickly, holding his hands up in mock surrender. "I was worried about you when Michael just upped and left you in the middle of the restaurant. There are people around who actually care about you Fi. I just wanted to make sure you were okay…that's all. Look maybe I should just go…it's been a rough few hours…"
"Yeah…look, I'm sorry…I'm just tired," she nodded as she watched him walk towards the door. "Thanks for stopping by."
He cast her one final glance before he opened the door and stepped outside. "You're not on your own…call if you need me okay…Bye Fi."
When he was gone Fiona took in a deep breath and took another look around the loft. It felt so empty. Her eyes were drawn to the pots of yogurt stacked on the counter and for a moment she considered throwing them in the trash, but she couldn't seem to do it. Picking them up, she pushed them back into the refrigerator and closed the door again.
With a heavy sigh she made her way towards the shelves that Michael had built for her and picked up one of the photo frames. Her mother's smiling face looked back at her and all she could do was trace her finger over the glass. She missed her family more than she'd ever admit, and it was only in these moments of solitude that she would ever let her emotions for them run free.
Taking a deep shaky breath she replaced the photo frame back onto the shelf and sat down in Michael's favourite green chair. She had to start thinking of the future. She couldn't bring the baby up here in the loft, not that Madeline would ever let her. She had to start looking for houses, somewhere that would be suitable to raise a child, and she had to do it soon. The baby would be here in less than five months.
Her cell phone vibrated inside her bag and she reached for it, intending to turn it off until she saw the name on the screen. Lifting it to her ear she breathed in deeply, her heart thumping inside her chest when she spoke the caller's name on a whisper.
"Michael…"
"I'm sorry."
"It's okay," she told him softly, her voice catching as she spoke. "We knew this was coming…I'm okay, Michael, really."
"As soon as I get back we'll start looking for houses okay, anywhere you want to go…Fi…"
"Okay."
"Look I have to go. I'll get a message to you as soon as I can…are you gonna be okay?"
"You know me Michael," she sighed heavily. "I'm always okay."
"Fi…I…"
"I know," she told him softly when a stray tear spilled over onto her cheek. "Me too."
The phone clicked to silence and she took it away from her ear to stare down at the blank screen. Throwing the phone onto the bed, she swiped at the wetness on her cheek. It was time she got her life back on track. While Michael was away doing whatever it was he was doing, she would do whatever she could to speed up the moving process here. With a determined smile, she got up from the chair and made her way towards the bathroom making up her mind that she would start looking for houses in the morning.
000
When Sam came over to the loft the following morning, he was surprised to see Fiona humming to herself and loading blocks of C-4, wire and detonators into a large bag that she had on the metal work bench.
"Uh, Fi…what'ya doin'?"
"A friend of mine has a friend who's had some break ins down her street, and she asked me to lay some security traps for her. Pay's pretty good too," she told him with a grin. "Did you want something?"
"Uh, no…just wanted to check in and see how you're doin'."
"Well don't I feel special," she teased. "First Jesse and now you…anyone would think you were worried about me!"
"Well Maddie's worried about ya, can't say the same for the rest of us," he told her feigning exasperation. "She wants me to bring you over to her house by the way."
"Can't, I'm busy," she zipped up the bag and moved to lift it off the table but he got to it first.
"If you insist on doing these jobs without me at least remember not to lift anything heavy," he groused. "Mike will have my hide if anything happen to you."
"Well he's not here," she smiled sweetly. "What he doesn't know won't hurt him."
"Oh he'll know," Sam huffed. "Now, where's this job of yours?"
He expected a retort and a lecture as to why she could carry things herself, but it never came. When he turned to look back at her questioningly she was just staring at him in bewilderment.
"What?" he asked, ready for some sarcastic remark, but all she gave him was a pat on the arm as she opened the door for him.
"Want to help me set some traps?" she asked him with a wide smile.
"Oh I'm sorry, was that you asking for my help?" he grinned.
"I'll let you carry the bags," she sing songed, her beaming smile radiating as she spoke. "Come on, it'll be fun…I'll even buy you a beer when we're done…"
"Okay…but no taking chances, you hear me missy…"
"I'll be good," she grinned as she opened the door to usher him through.
000
Fiona shook her head and laughed when Sam left her in the back yard to go and talk to Mrs Taylor, their forty-eight year old client. The pair of them had been overly chatty since she and Sam had walked through the door.
Fiona had already set explosives wired to a trip wire throughout the back windows, humming to herself as she worked. She was just putting some small explosives inside the wooden railings at the back of the house when Sam returned with a beaming smile adorning his face.
"Well don't you look happy?" She told him as she continued to set charges to the wooden railings around the house
"You know Fi, you're not blowing up a fortress here. At least leave the house intact!"
"Oh Sam, you worry too much," she told him with a smile. "If anyone tries to come into this house they'll have a surprise waiting for them."
"It'll be one hell of a surprise," he told her when she handed him the pliers she had in her hand. "Are you about done here?"
"Yep," she grinned as she stood up to admire her handiwork. "All done."
"Great," he rubbed his hands together and picked the bag up from the floor. "I'll get a ride back with you before my date with Angela."
"You hit on Mrs Taylor?" She asked as she shook her head. "Why am I not surprised!"
"Hey when you've got it sister!" he grinned as he ushered her off of the porch, walking her back to the car.
000
Later that afternoon, Madeline moved around the vacant house while Fiona stood at the window, looking out at the yard. She tried to imagine herself living here with Michael and the baby, but no matter how much she tried, she couldn't do it.
"It's nice," Madeline told her when she walked back into the room to join Fiona and ran her fingers over the dusty windowsill. When she lifted her hands to examine her fingers she screwed her nose up and wiped her hands on the curtains with disgust. "It needs some cleaning."
"I don't know Madeline," Fiona sighed. "There's no place to keep my C-4 and it's a little too open for my liking…too many security hazards. I'm not sure Michael would like living here."
"Sweetheart, he'd live anywhere as long as you were happy. If this house doesn't make you want to move in right away then it's not the right house." Madeline reached out and patted her on the shoulder before moving away to go and find the realtor.
"Yeah, I guess you're right," she sighed as she took one last look around the room before joining Madeline outside.
"Do you have anything else?" Madeline asked when Fiona came to stand beside her in the warm sunshine.
"We do have a house just new to us today, it's in a nice neighbourhood, good schools," Lucy told them with a sickly smile. "It's close to the beach and has a separate garage. I didn't mention it before because it may be a little too big for a single mother raising a child."
Fiona flashed an angry glare at the woman stood before her and opened her mouth to tell her where she could stick her house, but Madeline stepped in before she had a chance.
"Lucy," Madeline stepped closer and offered the young woman a false smile before it fell from her lips to be replaced by a look of infuriation. "My daughter in law is not a single mother, and she will never be a single mother." Letting her features fall, she sniffed a little and pulled a Kleenex out of her bag to dab at her eyes. "My son is out there fighting for his country and we all miss him…"
"Oh my goodness, I am so sorry," Lucy looked from one woman to the other becoming increasingly flustered.
"That's okay honey," Madeline sniffed as she pulled a cigarette from her pouch and put it to her lips. "I know you didn't mean to upset my pregnant daughter in law."
Fiona whimpered slightly and wiped false tears from her eyes. "It's so hard without him," she sniffed, allowing Madeline to put an arm around her shoulders. "I don't think we could afford a new house if anything happened—"
"Let me take care of the price," Lucy's voice gushed out quickly as she looked through the paperwork she had brought with her. "I insist you have the first look at the house and I'm sure I can get you a cheaper price—"
Fiona sniffed again and buried her head into Madeline's shoulder. Madeline pretended to comfort the younger woman while keeping a keen eye on the realtor.
"I know I can get you a cheaper price," Lucy promised as she looked at the scene before her. "I'm so sorry for upsetting you…I'll call my boss right now…be right back…"
As soon as Lucy was out of sight, Fiona lifted her head and beamed an impressed smile at Madeline. "You're good."
"If I learned anything from Michael's father it was how to put on an act," she told her with a triumphant smile as she lit her cigarette.
Fiona moved closer to her again when Lucy came back towards them and hesitated slightly. "We can go and see the house now and if you like it we'll negotiate a price."
"Thank you," Madeline told her softly as she puffed on her cigarette and rubbed Fiona's back. "She's still a little upset."
"I'm so sorry," Lucy whispered apologetically as she slowly backed away and hurried towards her car.
When she was out of sight, Fiona lifted her head and leaned in to Madeline's side, hugging her loosely with one arm. "I'm taking you with me when I buy the furniture!"
"Anytime sweetheart," Madeline beamed. "Now, let's go see this house."
000
Later that evening, Fiona sat at Madeline's kitchen table looking over the pictures of the house they'd been to see that day. It was perfect, exactly what they needed for a family home, and extra space for their work items.
Lucy had promised to hold the house for a month, or until Michael was able to see it. All in all it had been a constructive day.
Fiona's cell phone buzzed beside her and she picked up to put it to her ear. "Hi Sam…what? Okay, I'll meet you there in a few minutes."
Madeline looked up at her when she stood up and placed her SIG into her bag. Delving inside the bag again she took out her Taser, examining it carefully before putting it back into her bag.
"What's wrong? Is Sam in trouble?" Madeline asked as she stubbed her cigarette out into an ashtray.
"His new lady friend's intruder turned out to be her own step-son, Sam's holding him now…I shouldn't be too long…"
"Hold on, I'll come with you," Madeline told her as she grabbed her cigarette pouch from the table and followed her out of the door.
Sam had Angela's teenage step-son tied to a garden chair when Fiona and Madeline arrived. The back porch was charred and still burning from where Fiona had set her explosive traps.
"Let's go through this again," Sam paced backwards and forwards in from the young man, "you're visiting your mother but you decide to climb through the window?"
"I forgot my key," he groaned as he shrunk back into the wooden garden chair. "I didn't expect to have my hand nearly blown off!"
"Hey Sam," Fiona sing songed his name when she came to stand beside him. "Where's Angela?"
"In the house," he gestured towards the front door. "Poor woman is pretty upset that this idiot son of hers was trying to steal from her."
"I'll go and talk her," Madeline told them as she moved passed the pair of them to walk into the house. "Maybe I can help."
The teenage boy laughed when Fiona came to Sam's side. "What you gonna do bitch…are you gonna hold the old man's hand?"
"Watch your mouth," Sam growled. "Didn't anyone tell you it's not nice to swear in front of a lady?"
"Aww Sam," Fiona beamed. "That is so sweet!"
Sam was about to answer when the boy lunged forward and head butted Fiona in the side, knocking her to the ground with a thump. Sam reacted on instinct, punching the step-son clean in the jaw before falling to his knees beside the woman on the floor.
"Fi, are you okay?" he asked worriedly when she took her time to sit up.
"Yeah," she breathed deeply, swallowing hard when she took his offered hand to pull her up. Turning to the man on the chair she threw a punch at him, smacking into his nose with such a force that Sam could clearly hear the bones shatter. "I'm pregnant you bast—"
"Fi," Sam pulled her hand back when she moved to strike him again. "I think you broke his nose."
"I'll break more than his damn nose," she growled, snapping her arms away from Sam to deliver another blow to the man's face, sending him and the chair to fall backwards on the ground.
"Ahhh," he groaned, reeling in pain. "Keep that crazy bitch away from me…"
Fiona stood beside Sam, her fists clenched when she suddenly stopped and took in a sharp breath. Reaching out, she grabbed a fistful of Sam's shirt and gasped in a breath.
"Oh god…"
"What?" he gasped, grabbing hold of her hand to keep her from falling. "Fi?"
Madeline came running out of the house, followed closely by Angela who stopped on the porch to stare wide eyed at the scene before her.
"Fiona," Madeline asked urgently as she hurried towards them and eased the younger woman's hand from Sam's to help her sit down on the ground. "Does it hurt?"
"Madeline," Fiona gasped, her eyes wide with fear. "I can't lose her…don't let me lose her…"
"You're not going to lose this baby sweetheart," she soothed. "Now tell me where it hurts."
Sam swallowed heavily and looked towards Angela who was staring at the scene in horror. Her eyes met his and she shook her head before hurrying towards her step-son who was still tied to the chair and bleeding all over the grass.
"How could you Matthew?" she seethed. "It's not enough that you steel from everyone in the neighbourhood, you have to steal from me too?"
"Angela, I'm sorry," Sam offered as he moved towards the chair, sitting the injured Matthew back so that he was upright. "I need to leave you to deal with this. I'll call you."
"Leave him there for the police," Angela told him before she moved towards Fiona who was taking deep breaths and blowing them out again slowly. "I'm so sorry…"
Madeline nodded slowly and returned her attention back to her 'daughter in law' "Deep breath's, that's it honey," she soothed, stroking Fiona's arm with her fingers.
"Madeline," Fiona slowed her breathing and relaxed against Madeline's arm. "I think it's okay...the pain has gone…"
Sam exchanged worried glances with Madeline who was holding onto Fiona like her life depended on it.
"You're staying with me tonight," Madeline told her forcefully. "No arguments, you'll do as I tell you."
Fiona looked to Sam for support but he shook his head. "Not this time sister, I'm with Maddie on this one…"
"Sam can you get Fi's car, we need to get her home," Madeline told him urgently when she rummaged through Fiona's bag to find her car keys, throwing them to him as she held onto the younger woman.
"I feel fine now," Fiona told her, even though her body was shaking. "He just winded me."
"You need to get checked out," Madeline told her, rubbing her hand over the younger woman's arm. "Just to be sure."
Sam drove the car around and jumped out of the driver's side to hold the door open for Fiona to sit inside while Madeline got into the driver's seat. He looked over towards Angela who was shaking her head in an apology, but he just waved at her before he moved towards his own car, following Madeline as she sped her car out of the street like a mad woman
000
Peter Manson came out of the bedroom and looked at the two anxious people sitting at the table. Madeline was smoking her eight cigarette in under ten minutes and Sam was building a tower out of empty beer bottles.
"How is she?" Madeline asked quickly as she stubbed her cigarette out into the nearby ashtray.
"She very lucky," he told them honestly as he packed his stethoscope back into his bag. "The baby is healthy and I've explained to her that if she was to go into labour now she would lose the child. I've ordered her to rest, no working, no exerting herself and no lifting anything heavier than a coffee cup."
"Oh boy," Sam winced. "And you got out of that room alive?"
"I'm going in to see her," Madeline told the two men before she stood up and walked towards Fiona's room.
When she entered she was shocked to see Fiona laying perfectly still and staring out of the window. Walking over towards the bed, Madeline sat on the edge of the mattress and reached for her hand.
"Hey honey, you doing okay?"
Fiona blinked heavily and turned her head towards Madeline with tear filled eyes. "I'm sorry," she whispered softly.
"What for?" Madeline asked as she shifted closer.
"I could have lost her…I didn't think…" a single tear slipped from her lashes to slide down her cheek as she closed her eyes. "How am I going to be a good mother when I didn't even think about her?"
"It doesn't work like that sweetheart," she soothed. "When this baby comes, you and Michael are going to be wonderful parents."
"How can you be sure?" Fiona asked unconvinced as she lifted her free hand to wipe the wetness from her face.
"Because I know you, and I know Michael. You would both rather die than see anything happen to this baby."
Madeline watched Fiona's face relax a little and moved closer to squeeze her fingers, bringing her eyes back to hers.
"So you're having a girl?" she asked with a wide smile. "I'm going to have a granddaughter?"
"Yeah," Fiona nodded her head and smiled. "We were going to tell you at dinner, but…well…"
"I know," Madeline patted her hand. "Get some rest honey, we'll talk about everything tomorrow when you're feeling better."
Fiona nodded silently and watched Madeline until she left the room. When the door closed behind her, she sighed heavily and moved her hands to lie over her stomach, caressing the baby that moved beneath her palm.
"I'm going to be a good mother," she whispered as she looked down to her rounded stomach, moving her fingers to follow the movements beneath her hand. "I promise…"
tbc