Night Terrors
The room she wakes in is pitch black and thrumming. Suzu squeezes her eyes shut tight, trying to stop the throbbing in her head. She can't remember how she got here or where here is.
Pushing out a bit of chakra to get a sense of where she is has her doubling over, hot white pain building beneath her eyes. Gasping for breath, she pulls at the collar of her shirt, willing her throat to open.
It takes minuets- hours- for the pain to subside enough for her to think. She's a shivering, sweaty mess on the floor, the dark pressing against her lids.
She learns quickly in the dark. The room is four-feet by four-feet. Her cupboard under the stairs had been larger. There is no position in which Suzu can stand upright or stretch out.
She's too tall in this new body of hers. There is a single cot, with a thin scratchy blanket and no pillow.
In the darkness, she starts to lose it.
Suzu is eleven, the same age she was when she went to Hogwarts.
She has stolen.
Lied.
She has already killed.
Broken a man's spine.
Tore one's throat.
Used a killing curse.
She doesn't know how many.
In the darkness, Harriet withers.
Even her memories of this life, once bright in her mind have turned fuzzy. She can't remember the pink-haired woman's name. Nor the small child that frequents her dreams.
Her name disappears in the dark.
Suzu wakes up in the middle of the night screaming. It's a short and shrill scream, lasting only a second before being cut off. It's enough to wake Sakura up. She startles awake, breathing heavily as she stares at the blank ceiling above her.
"Tell her to shut up," her inner says, voice still infused with sleep. Sakura feels a clawed hand of despair crawling up her spine. She should go out there. But she knows her sister too well and the sight of Sakura will just fill her with shame.
Instead, Sakura lies in her bed and listens as Suzu moves around the house, the light in the hallway turning on. She counts her breathes, willing her sister's ghosts to go away.
It's a long while before the light flicks off. Suzu's steps don't make their way back to her room. The sound of a window opening and closing in the living room echoes through the house
"She's running away," Inner whispers in the depths of her mind.
"No, she's not." Sakura says. Suzu is a lot of things, but a coward she was not. She'd never run away, no matter what demons chased her at night.
Sakura turns over in her bed, running her chakra through her system until her eyes grow heavy.
Sakura wakes up before dawn to the smell to bitter herbs and something sharp and cool, mint maybe. Following the smell to the kitchen, she watches Suzu repeatedly press the button on the blender. The thick, green liquid inside does nothing. Sakura sighs, walking over, and gently pushing Suzu out of the way.
"You have to be gentle, stupid."
"Sakura-chan," Suzu greets in surprise. Her sister is decked out in her seldom-worn jounin outfit, though her normal boots are on her feet rather than the standard-shinobi sandals. Around her waist is a light blue apron with the image of a bunny plaster over the front.
"Are you going on a mission?"
"No. I figured you and I could have a morning training session before you meet up with your team."
"Are you alright?" she asks. Suzu shifts beside her, smile falling briefly, before her face turns upward, mask falling into place. Sakura wonders if a day will come where she too has a mask, pale and blank, radiating a calm that hides the storm beneath.
That's not the world she wants.
She thinks of Suzu again. Of the shaking limbs she hides, the bloodied clothes Sakura's found hidden in the trash, how her eyes grow dim and for a moment it's as if she's lost.
Sakura thinks, that if this world was not one that she could bear, she would make herself a new one
"I'm fine, Sakura-chan. I'm sorry about last night," Suzu says, refusing to meet her eyes. Her spine is curved under the weight of her own shame.
"Don't be sorry," Sakura says loudly, snapping her sister out of her thoughts. It'd be easier if she could fight nightmares. Then she could pummel them to the ground until the earth cracked. She fiddles with the buttons on the blender, pressing hard enough that one of them gets stuck.
"Oh, you fixed it," Suzu says. Sakura rolls her eyes, handing her the drink and leaving to go get dressed.
Sakura ducks away from the punch, sending an uppercut towards Suzu's chest as she does. Her sister dodges, shifting her body away with a flexibility that she's jealous of. Circling each other like a pair of caged cats, Suzu smiles at her.
Sakura scowls, striking out at the opening by her ribs. Suzu captures her hand, shifting her elbow downward to hold tight as she sweeps Sakura's feet out from under her.
Sakura hooks her legs around her sister's torso, using her other hand to pull a fist full of hair. Letting out an enraged shriek, Suzu quickly lets her go. Sakura readies herself, putting her fists up before her, as her sister moves to strike again.
She blocks the first hit, but Suzu's other fist meets her rib in quick succession. Sakura tries to keep up with the barrage of punches and kicks, but eventually backs away, falling into a defensive position.
"This isn't fair," she calls out, as Suzu issues a kick strike to the back of her knee. Forced into a kneel, she glares up at her sister's teasing smile. Sakura latches onto Suzu's thighs, forcing her onto the floor. Clambering up her body, not to be thrown off by Suzu's inane wiggling, she sits on her sister's stomach.
"You're not even trying," Sakura says, pulling out a kunai. The Suzu below her smiles and pops in a cloud of flower petals.
Where Suzu is flexible and quick, waiting to outlast her opponent, Sakura goes for the punch. She's strong where her sister is quick. Fighting her is a dance, albeit a controlled one where Suzu always seems to have the advantage. But there are moments where Sakura trips her sister up from the force of her blows and the sheer stubbornness of her fighting.
Sakura hates losing, Inner hates it even more shouting at her to stand whenever she falls, to move when she stumbles.
Sakura stands scrambling to look around for her sister. An invisible hand pulls at her shirt, issuing a sharp slap to her wrist.
"Invisibility cloak is cheating," Sakura calls out.
Her sister has a flare for dramatics, pulling magic and chakra into the fight as if it was normal. Most of the time, Sakura can't tell which is ninjutsu and which is magic. Other than the conjuring, which most people excuse as some secret kenjutsu her sister developed, Suzu is careful to never use spells that are obvious. Most of the elemental spells could be excused as elemental ninjutsu.
Sakura knows that she's careful to never use obvious hexes and jinxes when she's on a team mission but, it still doesn't stop the worry that someone will see. Magic is too deeply ingrained for Suzu to stop using it all together.
The sudden movement of a couple of flower petals to her right has her sharply focusing. She doesn't shift as the air around her suddenly stills.
"Get her," Inner shouts. And even though, she knows that Suzu is playing around, Sakura jumps, tackling the air. She hits something solid and hard, pushing down a laughing Suzu.
It's an all-out brawl on the floor, fistfuls of tangled hair, shrieks of laughter, and dodging blows. Sakura pushes a bit of chakra into her hand, trying to get Suzu to hold still and accidentally hits her across the face.
"Ow," Suzu shouts, as Sakura's punch catches her across the jaw. "What the hell? How do you even hit that hard? You're like ten."
"12," Sakura deadpans. But then at the watery eyes of her sister, something she's sure is only to gain sympathy and not out of any real pain, Sakura deflates. Suzu rubs at her jaw, conjuring a mirror in front of her to look at the blooming red across her face. Sakura is sure it will bruise and that her sister will let it so that she can moan and groan about it all day.
"Here you can hit me back," Sakura offers. She grins at the spiteful look Suzu sends her way. Inner cheers at her victory.
"I've been practicing supplementing my natural strength with chakra," she admits, after a while.
"What?" Suzu looks away from the mirror, capturing her gaze with wild eyes. "Are you crazy? You could rip your muscles apart like that.
"I read about it in a book. One of those medical journals you have lying around," Sakura says.
"Sakura, I don't care if the Hokage himself told you how to do it. Practicing a technique like that without supervision is dangerous. You could have died."
"I didn't think-"
"I won't yell at you for wanting to learn something new. But you can't do it alone. Next time ask me, and if I don't know how to do it. I'll find someone who does." Suzu declares, heatedly. Sakura nods swallowing back the guilt she feels at the look of fear on her sister's face. She hadn't thought it was that big of a deal but, the blank mask that takes over Suzu's face has her thinking otherwise.
The Jounin Command office is a bustling hub in the center of the village. Though it is non-descript on the outside, housing a hot-pot restaurant on the first floor, inside it is the center of operations for the village. Kakashi has seldom entered the building. ANBU HQ was on the outskirts, fitting for a place meant to operate in the shadows. Jounin-senseis didn't really deal in the day-to-day missions. They still got assigned when the village needed them, but that was usually taken care by the Hokage.
Shikaku-san barely looks up as he wanders in.
"Hatake-san, who let you in?"
"The door was open," Kakashi says, pointing to the office door. He makes no mention of the fact that he used his clearance to get past the first barriers of admin-nin. Shikaku doesn't look like he believes him in the slightest which is smart.
"Ah, why are you here?"
The question gives Kakashi a moment of startling clarity that he's gone a bit far. It's not that he cares about Suzuran. What he cares about is the fact that people are hiding things about her. Her sister, the Hokage, and Naruto to some extent. Minato-sensei had known her as well.
He doesn't understand all the secrecy and he's not used to be the one kept in the dark.
"I wanted to ask about the recent mission roster."
"Sit down, Hatake-san." Kakashi's not one to let people get away with honorifics or the last-name game but, Shikaku-san had known his father. Not to mention the man could kill if he wanted to. Sometimes it was easier to let the bigger fish pass you by.
Patting himself on the back for his genius infiltration skill, Kakashi practically throws himself in the seat. He has to be careful. As much of a genius as he is, Shikaku-san is probably ten steps ahead of him and most likely already knows why he's here.
"How is your genin team?"
"First one to pass," he declares brightly.
"I wonder whose fault that is. And Sakura-chan? Is she getting along with the boys?"
"Sakura-chan?"
"Don't pretend that you've come in here to make small talk. You're about as subtle as your mask is."
Kakashi opens his mouth to reply but, a heated glare from the Nara head has him shutting it just as quickly. Shikaku stands walking around his desk, to peer into the hallway.
"Ensui, is she still there?" He calls into the hall. A resounding thump can be heard from down the hall and a high-pitched yell. What sounds like a small fight ensues, the sound of two kunai clashing echoing through the hall.
"Yes. She. Is." Ensui calls back. Ensui shunshins into the office, a pouting Suzuran in his arms. A tear through Ensui's shirt is the only sign of his struggle.
"Oh, Kakashi-san. What are you doing here?" Suzu-san asks, her hair is wet and matted to her forehead. The soft scent of peaches mixed with iron and the oils used to keep blades from rusting rises in the air as she shifts her hair on her head. Some senbon go in it and stay there holding her hair in place. Though he's seen the color on Sakura, something about seeing it in an adult woman makes it look less real.
"Mission roster." He responds. She eyes him for a moment.
"In Shikaku-san's office? Aren't you meant to be training Team 7?"
At his nod, she shrugs, turning away from him and toward Shikaku-sama, bowing shortly. Shikaku-san lets out a long, low sigh causing her to straighten up.
"What's up, boss?"
Shikaku-san nods in his direction giving her a look that clearly says, "Deal with it or I will." Kakashi doesn't know whether to be offended or proud of the fact that he's gotten that look from every one of his superiors.
"What?" she asks, tilting her head.
"Suzu."
"Fine. Kakashi-san follow me. I'll show you the mission roster," the way she says the last words is downright dirty. He shivers feeling a chill creep up his spine. No woman should say words like that.
"Come on, we might as well get a good meal out of this," she says, leading him down the hall. The walk out of the Jounin Command office is silent and stiff with tension.
"What is it?" she asks, as they cross the street.
"You've given Sakura extra-training," he says, following her into the small restaurant on the street corner. The smell of grilled fish hits his nose, smoky and sharp. He follows Suzuran to a small table in back where a waiter comes by without question, placing an array of vegetables, fresh squid, shrimp, salmon, and other sides before them. He disappears once Suzuran nods. A spark from her fingers and the pit is light, the fire bright and hot.
Kakashi is slightly overwhelmed, not knowing what to do as he waits for a response. Suzuran seems to enjoy his fidgeting, glancing at him from underneath her lashes as she places the fish over the fire.
"Of course, I have. She's my sister," she says, sitting back and looking at him.
"She hid Naruto's chakra. That's not something a twelve-year-old can do."
"You were a jounin at 10. Chakra compression is a basic skill in our field."
"Sakura's not a jounin. She displayed average taijutsu skills and average ninjutsu skills in the academy. Her theoretical knowledge was good but, it was just that, theory. There's nothing in her files about above-average chakra control."
"First of all, an academy chart is no basis for talent, something I'm sure you're aware of. If it was, people like Maito Gai would have never graduated above genin. And, she didn't hide his chakra, she dulled it, masking it with her own. Why are you so concerned about my sister anyway? From what she's told me, it's Sasuke and Naruto that you're worried about."
"She's a part of my team."
"And, I'm sure it has nothing to do with the visit you paid the Hokage asking about my chart." Though he's slightly startled by her knowledge, he doesn't let it show. Somehow this conversation is spinning out of his control, he'd meant to come and apologize for attempting to break into her home. Bringing up her sister was a mistake.
Suzu pulls the fish off the barbecue, placing some onto the empty plate before him before serving herself.
"You were ANBU," he says, not touching his food. She swallows the massive bite she's forced into her mouth and nods.
"When? Which squad?"
"Does it matter? I'm not there anymore."
"The Hokage said that you'd been put through reconditioning."
"Reconditioning? Is that what they're calling it?" She shoves her plate away from her. There's a bitterness to her face that curls her nose.
"It's been known to happen," he says, dully. He'd seen it before, ANBU who lost it after weeks out on missions where nothing, but death followed. ANBU who were found bleeding out in the shared showers, no one sure if it was an enemy or their own misery that had cause their wounds.
"It wasn't T&I," she mutters, her gaze stuck on where his mouth is behind the mask. "You seem well acquainted with Councilman Danzō. I'm sure you understand what kind of conditioning it was."
The seal on his tongue burns quick and sharp at the mention. Swallowing hard, he shifts under her heavy gaze, the pieces falling into place.
"You were ROOT."
"No. Danzō tried. He'd seen how proficient I was on the field, but I was a bit of a loose cannon. He thought he could fix me, make me one of his pawns. He almost did but, the Yondaime—Look, Kakashi-san, reopening my past isn't something I want to do." He jolts at the mention of his Sensei
"I didn't know," he mutters, softly. Suzu rolls her eyes, seeming fed up with the conversation.
"Most people don't. It's not something I go announcing all over town."
"Why tell me, then?"
"Because my sister's life is in your hands. If it makes you focus on keeping her alive, then I don't mind spilling my secrets," she says, not a hint of a lie in her face. Kakashi is not used to being told the truth. Ninja hoarded secrets, holding them tight, dying to keep them.
Yet, Suzuran was willing to give hers up for Sakura. There are worst traits in a person. He thinks back to what the Hokage had told him, that Suzuran was kind more than anything else.
He wonders how a girl like that ends up as in ANBU.
He doesn't know what to say and it seems that Suzuran knows that, shifting her burning eyes away from him and back to her food.
"Come to practice tomorrow," he asks. The words fall out of his mouth impulsively but, it seems like the right thing to do.
"Why should I?"
"She's your sister. The best way to keep her alive is make sure her team is a strong one." Kakashi does not admit that he's out of his scope.
For once in his life he feels as if his genius is failing him. What good is it all if he can barely tolerate looking at his students.
Sasuke is too much like him at that age for Kakashi to know what to do.
Sakura is a whole planet away from what he's used to dealing with. He's sure that she'd put up with his training simply out of spite.
And Naruto…Naruto deserves someone who could love him.
"Isn't that your job?"
"It is. I'm not asking you to train them. I'm asking you to watch and tell me if you still believe I'm not the right teacher for her."
It's a small, almost meaningless gesture but, it's the most he can offer. He's not used to dealing with families. His had died out too long ago for him to remember what it felt like. But he knows about the urge to protect. The gnawing pit that formed in your stomach, forcing you past your breaking point.
He thinks that Sakura is lucky to have a sister like that.
"Okay," she agrees.
A/N: A bit of a filler but, sets the scene up for next time. There's about two more chapters before we get to the Wave arc. Thoughts on Sakura? Suzu?
We didn't get an apology from Kakashi but, we got a little more about Suzu's past. We'll dive deeper as the story continues.
Sneak Peek:
Someone is following them. He only realizes when he hears the slight scuff of shoes against the tree branches. He pauses, foot still in the air, as a kunai pierces through the air, grazing his cheekbone despite him moving away from it.