AN - I'm back after a long wait. I'm sorry about that, but I had my birthday and first big test in uni and it was in chemistry, which is the hardest. So I have been busy, but I spent most of my Sunday writing it or looking for ideas and directions to head.

Thanks to - left my heart in Paris, Prettycrazy and KSBP for the reviews. It means a lot :) .

Now enjoy this.

***NCIS***

Jenny was awake. It was late hour. Catherine was deep asleep and judging by noises coming from the living room, Jethro was awake too. She might wanna go there and take a glass of bourbon over years, but she doesn't want to face him. If only she hadn't shouted that to his face... She wanted to tell him in good way and not like this. She wanted to make sure that he'd be fine with that, now she isn't sure if she herself is fine with him knowing... Nothing is as it was the before. Nothing will be okay... And Catherine's life is changed forever. She might have a chance to spend time with her father and live with both of her parents. She might have a shot of as normal childhood as possible with special agents as parents. But she might also have 2 parents, that are unable to speak to each other, because her mother didn't tell her father about her earlier... Or this could be a chance of them to be a family, to settle down and enjoy life. Maybe there would be another child coming one day, maybe they would get married. Maybe Catherine won't be Shepard, but Gibbs instead. Maybe...

Jenny couldn't sleep. Her mind was working too hard for that. She didn't want to face Jethro, but at some point she had to – they were living together... not together, in same apartment, and that makes everything complicated. This time she has no way out – she can't run, if this doesn't work out, she can't hide, because there is a mission to complete and she won't let her personal feelings affect her work. She made that promise in Paris and it's time to make that promise again.

Somehow she really wanted a drink tonight. And she had to leave the room for that. Beside she really really had to visit the bathroom. It was hours after the argument with Jethro. Hours after the truth.

Finally she managed to stand from the bed. She put on her slippers and took a deep breath before exiting her room. She was correct – Jethro was sitting on the couch and drinking bourbon. He barely noticed her, if he noticed at all. She couldn't decide if it was a good thing or a bad one. She stayed in the bathroom for a little longer, because she stared herself from the mirror, while deciding what to do. Finally she found that she might as well face Jethro right now.

Jenny walked to Jethro and sat down next to him. She took the bottle and his glass and poured it for herself. Gibbs just watched her actions. Before she could bring the glass to her lips, Gibbs took it violently from her and drowned it.

"What ?" Jenny asked. She was annoyed with the loss of bourbon.

"Mothers don't drink. Only fathers are allowed to be jackasses," Gibbs said and poured some more for himself.

"Don't do this Jethro," Jenny said softly.

"Don't do what Jen ? You don't want me to drink ? Or you don't want me to be the father for my child ?" Gibbs asked.

"Don't drink. You've had enough," Jenny said and gripped the glass with bourbon. He was doing the same. They stared at each other and none of them was willing to lose the battle. Jenny was almost immune to her stare, so it made it easier for her. Gibbs on the other hand had always been turned on by the intensity of her emerald eyes. He loved looking at them, but at this moment anger, alcohol and mixed feelings for her made everything complicated.

Somehow Jenny managed to get the glass from him and empty it. She made a face, but it disappeared fast. Gibbs looked at her angry.

"What is your problem ? A few days ago you wanted me to have a drink," Jenny asked.

"A few days ago I didn't know some very important things. I didn't know that you get pregnant and then run away. Let me ask you a question – would you have told me if we weren't here ?" Gibbs asked. He almost shouted.

"I wanted to tell you. I called Ducky to ask for number or address or anything. And then I asked about you and he told me that you were getting married again. That was fast I thought. But then I realized that you never loved me, because you got over me rather fast. And I so I decided not to say, because then you could be happy and married and I'll manage on my own. You are in no position to judge me," Jenny said. She was raising her voice, but then remembered sleeping Catherine in the next room and lowered it again.

"I married to get over you. That's what I do. I get married. And then the marriage ends and I am left with my feelings for a woman, who is not around. Don't you dare to tell me that I didn't love you. I loved you then and I still do," Gibbs shouted.

Before Jenny could answer Catherine started crying.

"Excuse me, I have to comfort you daughter, who apparently doesn't like your drunk shouting," Jenny said and disappeared into her room. Gibbs heard the crying slowly fading. He decided he had to be there, he was a father after all. He stumbled into Jenny's room to see Jenny rocking Catherine, who was back at sleep. Jenny put Catherine back in her bed and pushed Gibbs out of the room and followed him.

"Could you now keep your voice low ?" Jenny asked drunk Gibbs.

Gibbs gave her the stare and walked back to the couch. He took the bottle of bourbon and poured himself some. He emptied his glass at once and turned to Jenny, who was sitting next to him again.

"Now, where were we ?" Gibbs asked.

"You were angry and pissed and probably hate me, and then you woke up Cath. That's where we were," Jenny said.

"I am angry at you. I am pissed. I hate you. That's right. And I am a father," Gibbs said and poured another glass of bourbon.

"Good. Now that we know, that you want to get rid of me, we can go to sleep and continue this tomorrow, when you are sober," Jenny said. She stood up, but Gibbs pulled her back down.

"We started this today and it will end today. Maybe your problem is the lack of alcohol – drink, Jen," Gibbs said. He poured a glass and then gave it to her.

She took a deep breath and drank a whole glass with one sip. She felt her stomach burning, her mouth tasted bad and her throat was on fire, but she didn't show it out. Just like she hid the fact that she was feeling a little dizzy.

"What do you wanna talk about ?" She asked him after a brief pause.

"I wanna know, why you left me ?" he asked.

She took a moment before opening her mouth. She really didn't know what to say. She left him for the job, but saying those words to him would mean admitting her mistake, which she had done quietly in her head, but never had said it out loud. It would make it real.

"I got an order. It was one time chance and it was SecNav, who insisted on taking it. They had it all set and I was waiting on a big future. I had to take it," Jenny said. It was the truth, but she left out the fact that she was thrilled by the offer. She made it sound like straight order from the highest boss and there was nothing she could have done.

"You didn't want to go ?" Gibbs asked and sipped his drink.

That hit her like a smack on the head. It felt kike one and wasn't sure what she wanted him to think. She didn't wanna admit the truth, but he was already angry at her and what's a little more truth gonna make it ? They were screwed either way and she might as well tell him. Beside he might not remember it the next morning, but she knew,that it's a lie. He has an excellent memory, even when he is drunk.

"Yes. I did. I wanted to take the offer," Jenny said.

"If there wouldn't have been that offer, would you have stayed ?" he asked. He looked deep into her eyes and searched for the answer.

"I guess we'll never know now, will we ?" Jenny said and turned her eyes away.

"Well, when we are into confessions, I got one. And it's a good one. You know about 3 of my wives, Ginger and Diane were before you and Stephanie was after Paris. Truth is that I have been married 4 times. I met my first wife, when I was leaving for corps. I married her shortly after that. 2 years later we had a daughter Kelly. They were my life. I loved them too much. But one day, when I was in Kuwait, I got an call that they were dead. A car crash. Shannon witnessed a murder and she was assigned a NCIS agent to protect her. The agent was shot while driving, car crashed and my world fell into many pieces. I married again to get over her, but I never could. Then you cam to the picture. I might have fallen hard again, but before I managed to figure it all out you left. And now you're back. And comes out I have a daughter, who is alive. I am dad again," Gibbs said.

Jenny was not sure what she was hearing. It was unbelievable. She thought that she knew Gibbs, but there are so many things she doesn't know yet. It's like some pieces fell into places. In Paris, when he was dreaming and asked for Shannon or Kelly... She now knew, that he wasn't cheating on her and he had no-one at the time. Shannon and Kelly were his past, but they will always be a part of him. It must hurt a lot to think of them, to talk about them. Knowing him, he probably blamed himself.

"If you hadn't been given this assignment, we might have had a chance to have a family. We would have worked it out with our work schedules and figuring out a way to keep her safe. I would have kept you and Cath safe, I wouldn't have let you out of my sight, because I would have loved you both. I would have proposed before Cath was born. I would have been perfect for both of you, but as crazy as it is work kept us apart. Just like it brought us together at first place," Gibbs said.

"Jethro... I'm sorry about your fist wife and daughter. I didn't know," Jenny said. Honestly, she was sorry about the accident. She had no idea, what it feels to lose a loved one and a child. Yes, she lost Jethro, but she ran away and she had a beautiful daughter to take care of.

"Yes. I don't tell woman this, because that makes them angry. They run after saying it. Comes out of with you I can do less. And to prevent your questions – yes, I still love Shannon. I still think of her and Kelley. I want them to be alive. And I will never let go of them. And you can run now," Gibbs said.

"I'm not going to go," Jenny said.

She felt his eyes on her, but she decided to keep on staring at empty room. She saw from the corner of her eye that he emptied another glass of bourbon and poured another one. This was also the last one, because the bottle was empty. She decided, that she needed to comfort him, but she didn't know how. The only way she knew included no clothing and that was not happening now. So she just put her hand on his shoulder and rubbed it.

He leaned into her touch for a moment before pulling her closer. She didn't protest. He turned to her and put his head on her shoulder. Her hands went to his back and she started running them up and down in a soothing way. He turned away and drank half of the bourbon, wordlessly he let her know to drink the rest. She did it. In the mean time, he had turned his body to hers and leaned on her. He was shaking softly. Without seeing his face she knew that he was crying. She didn't know what to say, so she was quiet. She just kept on running her hands up and down on his back. Her head was on top of his. Her presence made him feel a little better, but it didn't erase the anger and hating he felt for her at the moment.

He rose his head and looked at her. He might hate her, but it doesn't change the fact that he wants her. He leaned forward and captured her lips with his.

It was a hungry kiss. Passionate and deep too, but most of all it was hungry. He was hungry for her, she wanted him. Simple as it was, they weren't together, but their kiss was real. She tasted like she always had with a hint of bourbon. He tasted like bourbon and a little of the usual taste of him.

She knew, she had to pull back, but she didn't want to. Finally she did. Not because she wanted to, but because she needed oxygen. His hands kept on traveling on her body like they used to some years ago. His mouth attacked her neck with sweet kisses. She moaned.

"Jethro," She said. But it was serious voice, not her usual, when he kissed her.

"Mmm, Jen ?" He asked between kissing her neck.

"You have to stop," she said as seriously as she could, when he was trailing kisses on her jaw. At the end her voice went up, because he managed to bit the sensitive skin on her neck. For her there were mixed feelings – she wanted Jethro, but he was hurting and it was wrong to let him keep doing that. It felt good to be kissed by him, but the same he hadn't shaved in few days, so it was also scratchy.

Her hands moved to his shoulders and she pushed him a little, but his strength was bigger and he was back at kissing her. He moved to her jaw and then to her face.

"Just this once," he said and looked at her before capturing her lips.

She noticed his eyes were closed, but she kept hers opened, while she was deciding what to do. She kissed him back, but he did most of the work with that unbelievable force he had. After a few moments she decided to go with it – he needs this tonight. And she closed her eyes and enjoyed his kisses.

It wasn't long after he pushed her down on the couch, got on top of her and kissed her face, lips, neck... And she felt good.

I know Gibbs would have never told her like this, but I felt she deserved to know. And I think she did, but I like to read all the hints as something in the show. And Gibbs isn't crying often, not in TV and not in stories, but I feel like he is just a person and he could cry sometimes. That doesn't make him less hot not less macho.

And please press that review button down here :) .

Liina