Summary: Harry has an epiphany. Now all he needs to do is Gryffindor-up...
Author's Notes: Harry and I both went like, "Damn, it's love. What now?!" Thanks, vernie_klein, for bouncing ideas!
Sorry for the ' and "/" divergence here. This was written with both Pages and Word, and Pages screws up the punctuation marks in English…
XXX
Chapter 7 - Infection
Will we ever say the words we're feeling
Reach down underneath and tear down all the walls?
Will we ever have our happy ending
Or will we forever only be pretending?
- "Pretending", Glee
XXX
Harry flops down in an armchair next to the fire in the empty Gryffindor common room. Everyone is at supper but he isn't hungry at all; his head is spinning too much for doing anything else.
He goes over this afternoon in his mind again. Everything shifted while Draco was inside Dumbledore's office and Harry knew that Draco's life depended on the outcome. Waiting gave him too much time to think and to imagine what would happen if Narcissa refused the Order's help, if Draco had to continue his work only to fail and die at Voldemort's hands.
The thought hurt and it took Harry a while to realise that it had no right to hurt this much. Reflecting on the reasons behind this made his blood run cold.
When the bloody hell had he developed any sort of feelings for Draco? When had it stopped being only sex for Harry? When had he started caring so deeply if Draco lived or died?
Harry can't say for sure. The entire thing snuck up on him and caught him completely unawares.
Then the door opened and when Draco smiled, the world tilted on its axis and Harry's body moved before his mind could protest.
The sex that followed...
Harry's heart literally skips a beat as he remembers, watching the flames dance in the fireplace.
He planned on worshipping Draco's body that night but then Draco turned the tables and Harry can say without the shadow of a doubt that the Slytherin is just as deep in trouble as Harry is himself. He felt it in every touch, every caress and damn, saw it in Draco's eyes as they were lying next to each other.
Harry's initial reaction is to panic. Feelings were never part of the plan. But, bloody hell, they never had a plan. Draco needed to distract him and the sex was just too sodding good to stop, no matter how barking mad the entire situation was.
So, what now?
Should they talk about it? Harry shudders at the thought. Should they continue as they have and try to ignore it?
Probably. The Gryffindor inside of him cries coward, yet Harry ignores it. Harry will have to see what happens and adjust. Perhaps this is all just a phase and they will move past it as quickly as they have fallen into it.
Yes, Harry tells himself. That sounds good.
XXX
As it turns out, ignoring one's emotions is easier said than done. Harry can't keep his heart rate under control whenever he sees Draco, whether in the Great Hall or in class and especially not in the Room of Requirement.
He also finds himself talking to Draco a lot more than usually. It seems that the Slytherin is slightly confused as to what brought this on, but he indulges Harry. It's mostly nothing more than small talk, yet sometimes it touches on more serious matters and to his surprise, Harry isn't uncomfortable with Draco in the slightest. Neither is Draco, Harry guesses.
Harry learns a lot about Draco over the following week that way, if by Draco's own words or by what he infers himself. He learns that Draco is a brilliant chess player, for example, according to his not quite so modest tales. That Draco has never in his life met a Muggle. That Draco and his parents don't share a very emotional bond. That Draco is the reason Blaise and Pansy pursued Harry's classmates.
"You brought them together?"
Draco sighs. "Blaise and Pansy were onto me for not sleeping enough, for my failing grades... I needed a distraction, so I bet them they wouldn't be able to seduce two Gryffindors."
Harry's eyes widen but he can't say he is too surprised. "I did wonder why Blaise took an interest in Hermione all of a sudden. Who won the bet?" he asks with a smirk, knowing how much it must irk Draco that his plan backfired rather spectacularly.
The blond snorts. "They didn't even tell me they'd had slept with their targets; I confronted them after you let it slip. The bet was forfeited."
Harry narrows his eyes, astonished. "Really?"
Draco rolls his eyes at him. "I may be a Death Eater, Potter, but I'm not that evil."
"Don't you think Hermione and Neville have a right to know?"
The Slytherin shrugs. "Perhaps. But it doesn't matter now how that began, does it?"
Harry remains silent then, wondering how he could have missed Draco's sensitive side all these years when at heart, Draco is a genuine romantic.
"No, it doesn't," he finally says, raking his hand up Draco's arm and distracting the blond before the conversation turns even more serious.
XXX
Later that night, Harry can't sleep. The pretence is getting to him. Now that he knows what he is feeling, only thinking of Draco as a great shag has become impossible and he desperately wants to change things but has no idea if that is the right decision or if he is rushing into something he doesn't fully understand yet.
Is he really in love? How can he be sure? And is his assessment of Draco also true? Does Draco feel the same? What if it is nothing but wishful thinking on his part that put the emotion behind Draco's grey eyes?
Harry needs to talk to someone. His first thought is Sirius yet he discards that one quickly. Sirius would be too biased, too focussed on Draco's identity as a Death Eater and a Slytherin to give Harry neutral advise.
Harry needs to talk to someone who won't judge and who knows about his and Draco's history.
He needs to go to Dumbledore.
XXX
Harry is nervous on Monday when the rest of his classmates go to Hogsmeade to Apparition lessons and he opts to stay behind and visit the headmaster.
He knows it is much to assume that Dumbledore will help him but after all these years, after all Harry has done, after all this time Dumbledore acted as a guardian, he hopes that he has earned the right to come to the wizard for matters such as this.
Dumbledore is surprised when he lets Harry into his office and Harry pets Fawkes' feathers briefly, trying to ease his nerves.
"What is it, Harry?" Dumbledore asks as he watches him interact with the Phoenix. "Is this about the memory?"
Harry shakes his head. "I'm working on it, sir, I really am. But that's not why I'm here..."
He trails off and something in his expression must have told Dumbledore that this is more of a social visit.
"Can I offer you tea, Harry? Then we can discuss what is bothering you."
Harry nods his thanks and follows Dumbledore into the small library he has never been allowed in before. He eyes the books on the shelves that surround the entire room except where the windows are while Dumbledore calls for tea from the kitchens.
They sit down in two armchairs and Harry accepts the cup, eager to give his hands something to do.
"Why are you here today, Harry?" Dumbledore asks and somehow, Harry muses, he looks like he already knows.
"Sir, have you ever been in love?" he asks bluntly, not knowing how else to breach the subject.
Dumbledore, thankfully, indulges him. "I have."
"How did you know?"
The headmaster's lips curl into a smile. "That, my boy, is a complex question." Harry's confusion must have shown on his face for the wizard continues, "You simply know. Yet only if you allow yourself to feel."
Harry nods, processing the information.
"I assume, my boy, you are talking about Draco?"
Harry shifts in his chair uncomfortably. "Perhaps."
Blue eyes narrow. "Why does this bother you, Harry?"
"It's Malfoy!" he replies before he can think about his answer. "I mean, he's a Death Eater!"
"Love is never that simple, Harry. It doesn't adhere to our petty concepts of right and wrong."
There is something sad in his eyes suddenly and for a moment, Dumbledore looks years older.
"Sir," Harry begins hesitantly, "you sound as if you're speaking from past experience."
Dumbledore regards him for a long moment before he nods with a sigh. "I am."
Harry can't say why it surprises him so much. After all, Dumbledore has lived a long life, why then shouldn't he have been in love before? Why has the thought never crossed Harry's mind?
"Can you... Do you have any advice?"
Dumbledore seems to weigh his words carefully, taking his time before answering. "Don't try to deny it. In cases like this... Use the time you have. It might end before you have the chance to appreciate what you share."
"You say that like – I don't even know if he loves me back!" Harry huffs, shoving the cup back onto the small table next to him.
When he meets Dumbledore's eyes again, the man is smiling.
"Harry, even the blind could see that Draco cares deeply for you. I doubt he would have trusted you otherwise."
"How... Do I..." Harry makes a frustrated noise. "I have no idea how this is supposed to work!"
Not for the first time in recent weeks, Harry desperately wishes his parents were still alive. He doubts his father would have been too glad about his... thing with Draco, but he is sure his mother would have been impartial and ready to help.
"At your age, no one does, Harry. Trust your instincts, my boy. That is all the advice I can give you."
XXX
Harry mulls over Dumbledore's words for a few days, unsure of how to apply them to his situation. In the end, he consults Hermione.
She raises an eyebrow once he has finished. "It's obvious, isn't it?"
"Please enlighten me, then."
She pointedly does not roll her eyes. "Tell Draco how you feel. If Dumbledore says he feels the same, then it's probably true and you have nothing to fear."
"Are you serious? You don't even like Draco!"
Hermione sighs. "No, I don't. But you're my best friend and even if I don't approve, I want you to be happy and you've been fretting over this for about two weeks now and you need to take action, Harry, or you'll go mad."
Harry has the sudden urge to hug her but refrains since Zabini is in the vicinity and Harry really doesn't want to deal with a jealous Slytherin. Zabini slipped one Ravenclaw seventh year puking pastilles after he saw the bloke flirting (one-sidedly) with his girlfriend and Harry doubts Zabini will stop with him.
Instead he smiles and thanks his best friend, deciding that the time has come that he Gryffindors-up and comes clean to Draco.
XXX
His plan is quite nice in theory. In practise, Harry never finds the right opening, a moment, anything that will lead to him naturally confessing his feelings.
It's frustrating.
"I never took you for a coward, Harry," Hermione scalds him after a few days of unsuccessful attempts.
Harry is set on telling Draco tonight. He will look Draco in the eyes and start... How, exactly? Draco, I know it's crazy but I've fallen in love with you?
Harry's resolve crumbles and when he meets Draco on the seventh floor and he immediately draws Harry inside the Room of Requirement, pressing into him and Harry can feel Draco's erection through their robes.
"I've been thinking about shagging you all day," Draco growls into his ear and sucks down on his pulse point.
Harry groans, rutting against Draco's hip and clutching his robes. Wandlessly, Draco vanishes their clothes and pulls at Harry's arm, propelling him into the ground. It hurts when he makes contact with the floor but Draco is straddling his hips before he can do more than grimace.
Draco licks a trail up from his abs to his chest, bites a nipple and then the other while his right hand is palming Harry's cock to hardness, before looking down at him. "Which spells should I do? Both or do you just want to be wet for me when I slam my cock into you? Or can you take me dry? What do you say?"
He bites Harry's collar bone and Harry arches into the touch, every nerve in his body coming alive with the pain.
"Take me dry, Draco," he pants, thrusting his hips up into Draco's hands.
Grey eyes grow immediately darker and within moments, Draco has both of Harry's legs over his shoulder and a finger is teasing his entrance.
"Come on," Harry urges him on, desperate to be claimed, to be fucked within an inch of consciousness.
"Patience is a virtue, Potter."
"Good for me that you're a wicked Slytherin then," he gasps, desperate for the finger to breach his perineum.
Draco shoves it in, hard and unrelenting, and it burns so perfectly. Draco doesn't waste much time fingering his hole before he positions his cock, dragging the tip across his pucker a few times until Harry is positively begging and only then pushes in slowly.
Draco takes his time, pushing in inch by inch, drawing it out as long as he can until he is fully sheathed. Harry's brain is fuzzy with pain and pleasure when Draco leans down to kiss him, all tongue and teeth, raising an eyebrow. Harry nods and Draco moves, building a rhythm, aiming unerringly for Harry's prostate.
It's not long before Harry pushes up to meet Draco's thrust, moaning things like faster, please, yes, Draco, and the blond obliges him, snapping his hips relentlessly.
He comes, hot and violent, without a hand on his cock and Draco stills inside him soon after, collapsing onto him.
"We should move to the bed for the next round," Draco mumbles into his shoulder. "The floor is bloody uncomfortable."
Harry chuckles and puts an arm around Draco, stroking his skin affectionately. If he finds that odd, Draco doesn't say.
XXX
By the time History of Magic is over, Harry deeply regrets his decision to leave his arse unhealed. He was sore when he woke up but after two hours of sitting on old chairs in Mr Binns' classroom, when every subtle movement would send a painful jab up his spine, he desperately wishes that he hadn't been such a sentimental fool this morning.
He has no time during their break since they have to go to the dungeons for Potions so Harry continues to shift uncomfortably in his seat. He can feel Draco's eyes on him and he turns his head, meeting grey eyes that dance with desire.
Harry is out of his chair as soon as they are told to get started on this week's potion and has to fight his blush when Draco and he reach the cupboard holding the scales at the same time.
Draco bites his lip in an attempt to conceal his smile.
The lesson passes torturously slow. Harry is hyper-aware of everything he does and every time he winces, fearing someone will notice.
Draco, the tosser, jinxes Harry's equipment to fall off the table and roll away a few times, forcing Harry to stand up and retrieve it again. They play that game for half an hour before Hermione pointedly uses a Summoning Charm to pick up Harry's measuring spoon.
Harry grins, glancing at Draco, who pretends to pout.
As soon as the bell rings, Harry is out of the classroom, darting into the nearest bathroom to finally heal the soreness in his arse.
A flick of his wand brings release and he rests his arms on the sink for a moment longer. The door opens, revealing a smug-looking Draco Malfoy who steps close, far into his personal space.
"Well, if that wasn't an interesting lesson. Tell me, Harry, what have you learned today?" He sneers but does so without malice.
"That you're an evil git," Harry answers smoothly, then leans in to kiss the sneer off Draco's face. Harry's hand is on Draco's chest and he can feel his heart beating quickly, proving that the Slytherin was just as affected by his condition as Harry was.
Harry pulls back just enough to look into Draco's eyes.
This is it, he realises. This is his moment.
"But I still love you."
Harry holds his breath after the words roll off his tongue. Draco's eyes widen, whether in shock or surprise, Harry can't determine.
Then, the boy snorts. "You're not serious."
"I am. I mean it."
Draco stares at him, incredulous, and Harry raises his hand to caress Draco's cheek, make him feel that Harry is telling the truth, make him realise that Harry really is in love.
"You're even more disgusting than I thought!"
They never heard the door open and now, Ron is standing there, face contorted in disgust. They jump apart but it's too late. Harry can't tell what Ron heard or if he merely saw Harry caressing Draco's face.
Either way, Ron is angry.
"You're shagging Malfoy?"
Draco turns so he is fully facing Ron, then raises an eyebrow. "Jealous, Weasley?"
Ron moves before Harry can process what is happening and Draco's nose breaks with a crack as Ron's fist connects with Draco's face.
Harry waves his wand at Ron, who is thrown back through the bathroom.
"What, you're defending that snake, now?" Ron spits up at him, scrambling to his feet and in a fit of rage, Harry attacks with his fists but Ron sees it coming and deflects him with his wand, throwing him against the bathroom door.
Ron is on him immediately and a fist connects with his jaw. They fall through the door and into the hallway where students scatter with a shout. Harry manages to roll them over then, holding Ron down and punching his face for insulting Draco, for abandoning Harry, for being a homophobic wanker but then Ron head-butts him and Harry's vision goes dark for a moment.
Suddenly, there are arms pulling him back - Draco's arms, his mind supplies, Draco's arms under his shoulders, pulling him to his feet - and Ron is standing up just as quickly, one eye already swelling from where Harry's fist connected with it.
"Harry, he's not worth it," Draco whispers but Ron hears him. There is a crowd of students gathered around them, all eerily silent.
"I'm not worth it? I'm not some slimy little cocksucker who is shagging the Boy Who Lived!"
Harry struggles against Draco' grip but it doesn't give. "Shut your trap, Ron!"
"Harry, stop. Now." Draco's voice is low, dangerously so and Harry wills himself to calm down.
"Ha, he's got you trained already! You're pathetic."
"You're just jealous, Weasley," Draco comments and Ron darts forward again, face livid with rage when suddenly, Ron freezes mid-movement.
"ENOUGH!" Snape roars and the students next to him wince at the volume of his voice. "Have all of you gone mad?"
Silence reigns, even after Snape releases Ron from the spell. Draco withdraws his arms slowly and Harry does everyone a favour and remains where he is, glaring defiantly at the professor.
"Fifty points from each of your houses and detention. The headmaster will hear about this. Weasley, go to Madam Pomfrey, your eye is revolting."
Snape breezes past them with a flourish of his cloak and Ron leaves in his wake, glaring at both Harry and Draco.
Harry is suddenly faced with a choice - how does he react? The accusation is out there; it's lunch time. Within minutes, the news will spread that Ron said Harry and Draco are shagging.
Harry turns to Draco but has to blink before he can say anything when a drop of blood trickles down his face and into his eye.
Draco narrows his eyes at the wound on Harry's forehead and with a flick of his wand cleans it and then fixes it. The hallway is still silent; everyone is waiting for what will happen next.
Harry grabs Draco's hand when he lowers it again, brushing his thumb across the underside of his wrist. He smiles tentatively, then leans in and brushes his lips against Draco in an intimate kiss.
"I hope you believe me now," Harry whispers, smiles, and heads off to lunch, his strides strong and confident.
Hermione catches up with him right before they reach the Entrance Hall.
"Has anyone ever told you that you don't have to be so dramatic all the time?"
Harry chuckles, leading the way to the Great Hall before the rest of the students follow and spread the news.
"Sirius did, once."
She sighs, squeezing Harry's shoulder. "Did you at least tell him?"
"Yes. He didn't believe me."
"What?"
"Then Ron caught us. I hope Draco believes me now."
Hermione blinks at him. "Oh, he better. And if he hurts you, tell him I will use every Muggle means available to me to kill him and hide his body."
"You can tell him yourself at the next IHCC."
They sit down and Hermione opens her mouth to say something, but the noise level has just doubled as the rest of the students who witnessed Harry's display of affection enter the Great Hall.
Harry buries his head in his hands with a sigh. It is going to be a long bloody Monday.
XXX
Draco's head is spinning; hell, his entire world is tilting as he storms up to Dumbledore's office. He prays the password hasn't changed and shouts it at the Gargoyle, which jumps aside just in time to let Draco pass through.
He leaps onto the staircase and takes a deep breath as it rises, taking him to the office door, yet it doesn't do anything to calm the turmoil inside of him.
He knocks and is inside the room before the headmaster has even finished his "Come in".
"Draco?" Dumbledore raises an eyebrow.
"Weasley outed us. In a few minutes, everyone will know about me and Harry; we need to move my mother! Now!"
The headmaster blinks once, then nods, turning to the portrait of a man whom Draco recognises as Phineas Nigellus.
"Tell Minerva." Blue eyes are on Draco again. "She will be gone within the hour. Don't worry, Draco. No one can touch her at the safe house."
A large weight falls off Draco's shoulder but the word is still spinning far too fast. Nothing makes sense anymore.
"What is bothering you, Draco?"
He looks up at Dumbledore, who looks neutral, as if he has no idea what could possibly be wrong.
"Harry said – he – but how – I don't understand!"
Dumbledore smiles indulgently. "I take it, then, that Harry has confessed his feelings."
"How do you know?"
"It is quite obvious to anyone prepared to see how much you mean to the boy."
"Wha- how- that doesn't make any sense!"
Dumbledore raises an eyebrow, unimpressed by Draco's outrage.
"This was never even a possibility! I'm a sodding Death Eater! He's the bloody Chosen One, for Merlin's sake! He can't... love me, this is ridiculous!"
"Have you ever heard the saying, Love is blind?"
"So what? How does Harry think this will work? There's a war coming and once the year is over, I'm going into hiding and he is doing Merlin-knows-what to play the hero everyone makes him out to be - there is no chance this is ever going to lead to anything other than hurt."
Draco is panting by now, too upset to bring his breathing under control, too angry at Harry for reciprocating his feelings when he was never meant to, when Draco never thought this would be an option, when they can never, ever be together.
"You would be surprised, Draco, at what love can achieve. The two of you are in a unique position, true. However, you have the chance that your love will survive the war that is coming. Others haven't been so lucky in the past."
Draco's eyes narrow, intrigued by Dumbledore's almost melancholy demeanour.
"Are the rumours true then, sir?" he dares.
"There are many rumours floating around my person," Dumbledore replies ominously.
"The ones about... you and Grindelwald, sir."
The melancholy in the headmaster's eyes turns into a deep sadness and Draco strains his thoughts to remember everything he heard about the war and the fight between Dumbledore and Gellert Grindelwald.
"Different times, Draco, different people. We started out with similar ambitions until the world drew us apart. I take it, with you and Harry, it is quite reversed."
Draco is silent for a long moment, contemplating, strangely moved by the tragedy in his headmaster's life.
"Do you have advice, sir?"
Dumbledore's lips curl into a smile. "Only wishes, my boy. I wish you will trust your heart in this matter and disregard your upbringing and what other people want you to believe. Make this your own choice or you will regret it some day, Draco."
He has no idea how to answer, so Draco merely nods and leaves Dumbledore to his headmasterly duties.
He heads straight to the Slytherin common room, all appetite forgotten. His head is too full with thoughts that he can spear a moment for food.
It strikes him as strange, that he opts to trust Dumbledore and to listen to his advice but then, he is the man who offered Draco a hand when no one else would have.
So Draco sits down by the fire and thinks.
XXX
Snape keeps Draco, Harry and Weasley after DADA to inform them about the detentions their heads of houses have allotted to them. They are to report to Filch every day after dinner for two weeks and follow his orders.
Brilliant. Filch always has the most revolting tasks for students.
"Mr Potter, Mr Weasley, you are excused. Mr Malfoy, a word."
Draco exchanges a brief glance with Harry, who looks rather worried but Draco knew this was coming.
Once the door has closed, Draco turns towards the fellow Death Eater with a glare, challenging him to say something but Snape remains silent, arms crossed in front of his chest, considering him for a few moments.
"I heard you and Potter were quite affectionate with each other today."
Draco shrugs. It wasn't a question so he doesn't deem an answer necessary.
"Is that why you have nothing to show for the Dark Lord? You have been… associating with Potter this entire time?"
"No, sir. I haven't." Snape raises an eyebrow, clearly unimpressed. "It hasn't been going on long."
"What are you thinking, Draco? Do you know what this looks like?" Snape's voice is rising and Draco swallows, trying to keep calm.
"No; so why don't you enlighten me, Professor?"
"It will look to everyone that you are in a relationship with the same boy your master wants to kill. Once word reaches the Dark Lord he won't be pleased since you still have nothing to show for. Did you ever think of the consequences or is your head still so high up in the clouds that you have no idea how reality works?"
"Oh, don't talk to me about how the world works, Snape! I know how it is; I know what will happen when he finds out I haven't fulfilled his task-"
"So you decided to have yourself some fun? Think of your mother, Draco-"
"I did, and she's safe, so bugger off!"
They freeze mid-argument, Draco taken aback by the force of his outburst, Snape probably shocked by the nature of his revelation.
Snape is shaking his head minutely, black eyes filled with something akin to worry. "Oh, you stupid boy, what did you do?"
Draco remains defiantly silent.
Snape's arms come up and grip his shoulders tightly. "Tell me, Draco. Now."
"Let go of me! You can't do anything, not at Hogwarts! And when the year ends, you won't find me! No one will find me! And mother neither!"
Snape's eyes grow comically wide as realisation dawns in his mind. Draco notices how the Professor's hands ball into fists, probably trying to hold back a more violent reaction.
"I take it, then, that you have abandoned your task? What's next, are you going to declare your allegiance to Potter and his band of naïve fools? What's he done to you to wind you around his finger like this?"
"He hasn't done anything!"
Snape opens his mouth to say something but stops himself, his eyes taking in Draco's expression. Draco wonders what the man sees that makes his shoulders sag in resignation.
"I hope you know what you're doing, Draco. I will have to inform the Dark Lord of this turn of events."
Draco shrugs again. It was inevitable and the Dark Lord will be furious, yet Snape can't harm Draco inside the walls of Hogwarts, not if he wants to keep his position as spy. Draco is sure Snape is aware that Draco is betting everything on this card but he doesn't say any more. Instead, the Professor waves him off and Draco gladly leaves the classroom.
Draco doesn't make it more than one floor down to the dungeons before Harry draws him into an empty classroom.
"Is everything alright?"
Draco nods, noting how much distance Harry has put between them. The Boy Who Lived seems to be nervous, all of a sudden.
"Snape knows. Well, he knows that I'm not working on my task anymore. He'll tell the Dark Lord."
"But you'll be safe here, won't you? Snape can't harm you in Hogwarts."
Draco shakes his head. "He knows that. He seemed… resigned, somehow. But I don't know, I've never been able to read him too well."
He looks up to meet Harry's eyes and finds the Gryffindor watching him tentatively. The silence stretches between them until Harry clears his throat and runs a hand through his messy hair.
"Good… I mean, good that he can't harm you. So…" He trails off, eyes darting to the floor briefly as he wets his lips. "Did you… Do you believe what I said this morning? Because, I meant it."
In this moment, Harry seems incredibly insecure and Draco wants to shake him for being this daft yet keeps his demeanour calm.
"How can you love me? I'm the enemy," Draco argues. Harry surely hasn't thought this through.
He shrugs, a faint blush colouring his cheeks. "I don't know, alright? I didn't plan on developing feelings. I just… When you went into Dumbledore's office to tell your mother, I didn't know what would happen and I was… I was scared, alright? Scared that she might object and make you continue working for Voldemort and that he will…" Harry cuts himself off; the "kill you when you fail" doesn't need to be said.
Draco can't do anything but stare at the boy, speechless. Harry really loves him, doesn't he? It is completely unfair, given their situation, and the anger Draco has been feeling ever since this morning eventually bubbles to the surface.
"Fuck you, Potter!" Draco shouts, starting to pace. "Seriously, fuck you, fuck your love, fuck your help and fuck your feelings! Do you have any idea how ridiculous this is? What are you thinking, that we, what, spend the rest of the school year together in ignorant bliss and just smile when I leave for the safe house and you do Merlin-knows-what in your bloody fight against evil? There is a war coming, Golden Boy, and if you haven't noticed we're on two completely different sides! Wasn't what we had enough? But you just have to go and screw this all up and talk about feelings and shite!"
Draco draws a deep breath and Harry takes the opportunity to interrupt him.
"I know all that, Malfoy," he spits out, "and I've been telling myself that but it didn't bloody change the way I feel and I can't just ignore it, not when we shag basically every day! So why can't we enjoy the time we have left? What're you suggesting, that we pretend like this still is nothing more than sex? Well, I can't do that, and I don't think you can either."
"I can! I've been doing it long enough!"
"You daft g- what?"
Harry stares at him and belatedly, Draco realises what he just admitted to and instead of backing down, Draco surges forward. It is way too late anyway.
"I've had a crush on you since I was thirteen, bloody hell! I never thought anything would come of it and even when it did, I figured that would be it, but you kept coming back for more and, fuck, can you be any more perfect, Potter?"
"Perfect?"
"Yes, perfect! You and your perfect body and your altruistic attitude and saving my life and mother's as well even though all I've ever done is taunt you and your damn Gryffindor friends!"
Draco stops himself before he says any more; he is embarrassed enough as it is. Harry is still staring at him as Draco catches his breath. Suddenly, Harry's mouth curls into a huge smile and he takes a step closer.
"So what's the problem, Draco? I love you and you apparently have feelings for me, too. Why does it have to be so complicated?"
"Because it is? I'm a Death Eater, damn it!" Draco grabs his left arm for emphasis.
"You may have the Mark, Draco, but you don't follow him anymore."
"So what? I will never be safe as long as he has power and you won't either. There is a very high chance that one of us or both of us won't survive the next year. And what then?"
Harry's eyes narrow suddenly and his gaze turns sharp. "You're afraid, aren't you? You don't want to do this because you're afraid that you'll get hurt. Well, grow up Draco; you're going to get hurt either way! If we're together or not, it will be hard, so why not make it easier on us now and just… you know. Be together."
Draco opens his mouth to argue but holds his tongue. Harry's argument is surprisingly good and, frankly, Draco doesn't want to fight it anymore. Harry Potter says he loves him and apparently wants a relationship… Draco's father is in Azkaban and won't know about it since his mother is confided to her safe house and can't visit. And come the end of the school year, it is going to be over no matter what happens.
Draco sighs. "What would change?"
Harry shrugs. "I don't know. I don't have much experience with, you know. Relationships. But I guess we can stop hiding? I can kiss you in public?"
"What will your classmates say?"
"What about yours?"
"Blaise is in love with a Mudblood and Pansy is waxing poetry about Longbottom; I doubt they have any justification to call me out on anything I do."
"Don't call her that."
"Well, it's what she is, isn't she?"
"She's muggle born, Draco, alright?"
Draco glares and wants to point out that simply because Draco has accepted the Order's help doesn't mean he subscribes to their notions of equality (because he doesn't), though starting this argument now doesn't seem sensible.
Instead, Draco closes the distance between Harry and him, pushing their bodies together.
"I can take whatever my classmates throw at me, Potter. What about you?"
"Can't be worse than what everyone said during my fourth year. Or when everyone thought I was the heir of Slytherin."
Draco snorts, running his fingers up Harry's arm. "Oh, you brave Gryffindor."
Harry cocks his head, smiling. "It's your brave Gryffindor now."
Draco will never admit to it, but he feels something flutter in his chest when Harry kisses him then, soft and sweet.
Draco indulges him for a long time, gently slipping his hands around Harry's neck, allowing himself to feel and not just ignoring what is going on inside him when he feels Harry's thumb caress his cheek.
Soon, it isn't enough anymore so Draco draws back and slips his right hand down into his cloak pocket to retrieve his wand. He locks the door and puts sound-proofing spells on it, winking at Harry, before he returns his attention to the Boy Who Lived.
Well, his Boy Who Lived, actually.
It's Harry who rolls his hips first, pressing his hard length against Draco's growing erection. Draco thinks about bending Harry over a desk in the classroom when the boy drops to his knees in front of him and deftly works his robes and trousers open until he can pull Draco's cock free.
Harry closes his mouth around him without preamble, working him to full hardness.
Draco can't hold back a moan when he feels Harry's hand on his arse, urging him forward, inviting him to fuck Harry's mouth. Draco starts slowly, pausing for several seconds when he hits the back of Harry's throat, knowing fully well how the affixation turns the Gryffindor on.
Harry takes one hand off Draco's arse and fiddles with his own fly until he manages to slip his hand inside his pants. Draco watches greedily as Harry wanks himself while he takes every inch of Draco, moaning deep in his throat for more.
They both last a ridiculously short time.
After they are both presentable again – although everyone looking at the state of Harry's lips will know exactly what he has been up to – they make their way to the Great Hall to dinner.
They don't hold hands. They don't kiss good-bye when they part for their respective tables either and still, the fact that they entered the Great Hall together seems to be enough to send the rest of the students into agitated discussions.
Draco can hear the whispers following him to the Slytherin table where he is greeted by two stunned pairs of eyes.
"Draco," Blaise starts but he doesn't let him finish.
"Shut it, Blaise. You're dating Granger, you're in no place to talk." Pansy opens her mouth but Draco whirls around, facing her. "Neither are you, Pansy. At least Potter is hot."
"Neville is attractive!" she pouts, crossing her arms.
"And Hermione is the smartest witch in school!"
Draco rolls his eyes and grabs the jug of pumpkin juice, not even deigning the remarks with a verbal answer.
"You and Potter – how did that happen, anyway?"
"Blaise, I'm not giving you any details of my sex life."
"But-"
"No. Forget it."
Blaise throws his hands up. "Alright!"
Thankfully, that is the end of the conversation. Draco glances across the hall to see Harry being accosted by fellow Gryffindors, especially Seamus. Harry's face is turning redder and redder as the bloke talks and Draco doesn't want to imagine what sort of discussion the boy wants to involve Harry in.
Oh Merlin, what have they done.