Bella Pov!
I got home, after walking on foot for what seemed like days. It was twilight, and I couldn't help but think of how the sky could be so unbelievably beautiful at such a tragic time. How can the stars shine so bright when the man I love is not with me, not even existing as of right now. I feel like I fell in love with a ghost of what could be. My duty of keeping his family together is still alive, but how? How can I just tell a man that I've known for a total of one day to stop cheating on his wife? Why would he listen to me?
I heard Emmet's booming laughter coming from upstairs, then I saw a bottle blonde walk down stairs, wiping the corners of her mouth. I couldn't suppress the shudder that slid down my spine as I thought of what Lauren could have been doing. He was always like a father to me when I needed him to be. He can be really mature too, but when he's not being Mr.Mom, he's Mr. Pothead manwhore hormonal teenager. Same goes for Jasper, but somehow smoother. I laughed at that, and Lauren glared daggers at me. It never ceases to amaze me how dumb people look when they try to scare you. She was doing this as a revenge and I knew it. Too bad it didn't work. As long as my brothers are safe and not making girls cry, then I'm good. I don't really aprove of his lifestlye, but how can one silly little girl change it. I'm nothing too important to anybody. My brothers really don't need me. I'm probably just some annoying little brat that they have to pay to keep around.
Emmet and Jasper came full speed down the stairs and saw me. They looked at eachother, then Emmet looked sadly at Lauren, and Jasper glowered so scarily I almost wanted to protect Lauren, almost.
"What the hell did you do to her?" Jasper demanded, voice deadly. She sucked her teeth and rolled her eyes.
"Like, I didn't do anything to that whore. Eddie probably took her prescious little virginity and ran." She laughed cruely.
"Get the hell out of my house." That was very surprisingly Emmet. She screeched, huffed then stomped out.
"What did he do?" They said simultaniously. I couldn't answer, they both bombared me with questions.
"Why are you crying?" Jasper. "Did you sleep with him?" Emmet again. "I'll. Kill. Him." Unison.
"NO! We just fought today. I can't deal with him right now." How long have I been crying?
"Well, if you need us-" Emmet cut off Jasper's calming technique.
"We'll be more than happy to kick his ass." He smiled triumphantly.
"Like Emmet said. We're going to a party, you want to come?" They always tried to get me to come to parties with them The one time I did come, Emmet ended up giving some kid a bloody nose for slapping my but. He deserved it, when you playfully hit someone, it shouldn't give you a bruise the size of a grapefruit.
"No, have fun. Don't get to busted up." They always come home, too drunk to walk. Good thing I don't have plans tommorrow, I'll be spending my time taking care of my hungover brothers. They both gave me a big hug and jogged out to the car.
Well, how pathetic. Saturday night with nothing to do, as usual. I sat down and just started playing some random notes. That's when I remembered the song I wrote for him. I ran as fast as my legs could carry me to my room. I had two parts to it. One was the sleeping area, the other, sort of like a living room. I have a desk, and a couch set. I immediately ran to the desk that contained my sickly sweet love song and ripped it up as soon as I got my hands on it. I couldn't believe I trusted him. And then I cried. I cried for him. I cried for my mom. I cried for my dad and his family. I cried for my family. I cried for Esme. I cried for all the anger I had been supressing for so many years. I hardly ever cried. When I cried with Esme today. That was the first time I cried since my father left. I didn't cry when my mom died, or my grandparents. I came very close a few times, but I never let a single tear fall from my eyes. I don't like showing my weakness, so I filled my life with strengths. It's not enough though. Sometimes you need to cry. Sometimes you need to get mad. I always stayed calm, I always thought it was going to hurt you if you got mad.
Not today. Today was a wakeup call. I never had faith, I had hope. Hope for love. Hope for Edward. Hope for Carlisle. Hope for God. I was proven wrong. Hope is nothing but a stupid little wish, nothing more. I fooled myself into a comfort zone, thinking that there was more to this life. We live, then we die. There is nothing. There is no one. We are alone, completely, utterly, and devistatingly alone.
A/N: Superbly short, I know. I promise I'll get more in later tonight or early tommorrow. I have lotso finals, and I haven't exactly been studying persay. haha. WELL, Review please.